The consequences of falling in love can be deadly

3 years ago

“Can you please try walking for me?” The doctor asked.

I gave her a worried expression. For the past year I’ve been trying to walk, yet I have not succeeded. Every time I tried to walk, something is always holding me back. It was the fear. Fear took over me. Fear changed my life. I didn’t know how powerful fear was. If only I wasn’t so careless last year.

Flashback

I closed my eyes as the car painfully hit me.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I could hear Seunghyun scream across the street. It’s too late. Maybe this is my fate. As the car crushed me, I realised this could be the end for me. You know how people say when you are about to die you’ll get flashbacks or events of the things that are important to you.

That kind of happened.

The bright white light blinded my eyes as memories flooded my mind.

There were memories of my family, friends and Seunghyun. To my surprise Seunghyun dominated the memories. The memories of Seunghyun killed me. There were memories of him looking after me, memories of him rapping for me, memories of Seunghyun smiling and laughing. All these happy memories were ruined when the image of Seunghyun kissing another girl occurred in my mind.

Seunghyun I will always love you but like I said before I cannot forgive you.

Then everything went black. I would have never thought to see the light again.

Few months later

My eyelids slowly lifted. My eyes were watery but I could still see the white ceiling above me.

“Bom, you’re alive….” Seunghyun cried. I titled my head to see Seunghyun besides me, tears overflowed in his eyes. His hair grew, it’s much longer but it doesn’t look brushed at all. His cheekbones stood out, it was either he lost weight or he exercised. Did he sleep at all? Because he had eye bags as dark as Seungri’s now. Besides Seunghyun’s was a table filled with empty bottles of coffee mugs. I looked at my hands to see both of his sweaty hands gripping my cold hands. Everything hit me. I was in hospital, oh yeah I was in a car accident. Everything kept rushing back, even the tonight where Seunghyun cheated on me. The sudden thought occurred and I quickly pulled my hand away from Seunghyun.

The machine was going crazy that the doctors and nurses eventually arrived. My family and friends rushed in straight after, it was overwhelming. People crowded around me. The doctors shooed everyone out so they could test and talk to me. That was the worst doctor’s session ever. It was depressing , I couldn’t feel my legs. But that wasn’t the worst part, it was when he told me the worst news. I could be stuck in a wheelchair forever.

Chaerin wheeled me outside and there was Seunghyun there waiting for me. He held a bunch of flowers. I told Chaerin that I needed to talk to him alone and she left us. But she watched me from the far distance. Seunghyun nervously walked up to me and smiled.

“Bom….I’m truly sorry.” Seunghyun cried.

I looked at his face, filled with guilt and misery. If only he didn’t kiss that girl. Then perhaps we would be happily together right now. Then perhaps I wouldn’t have lost my job. Then perhaps I could still walk.

“Seunghyun…I think we need time to be away from each other for a while. I need time alone right now.” I said as gently as possible. It killed me when I said that. I still loved him dearly but after what happened made me realise we were completely different people.

“Don’t tell me this is a break up?” He managed to say, even though he was crying.

“I guess this is….I’m sorry Seunghyun. “ I whispered. Seunghyun stood there crying, he handed me the flowers. I did notice the pain on his face. But I was scared to be heart- broken again, what if he continued to kiss other girls when he was drunk? I could not accept this. I called Chaerin over and Chaerin pulled me away from Seunghyun and I could still hear him loudly crying.

End of flashback

I stared at the ground. My hands grabbed the wheelchair as I tried to get up. My legs ached when I tried to stand I my legs wobbled as it tried to move forward. But everything hurts, my legs were tearing apart. I struggled to step forward. I couldn’t do it.

“I can’t…” I cried. The doctor quickly helped me back to the wheelchair. The doctor wrote down what she observed.

“Will I ever walk again?” I asked while she wrote down notes in her notebook.

“It’s highly unlikely at this stage. “ The doctor replied as she continued to write.

The doctor eventually said her goodbye as she walked out from my apartment. I sat on my wheelchair, crying again. I don’t want to be stuck in a wheelchair forever. Suddenly someone knocked on my door, it’s most likely to be Chaerin. I wiped my tears away and went over to the door. I reached for the door handle and opened the door, to see Seunghyun.