“Can you see it?” Sehun asked as he looked up at the stars

“Sehunnie… It’s beautiful”

“I knew you’d like it” Sehun smiled brightly

They were stargazing on the roof, Luhan used to take Sehun up here every weekend when Sehun was little, it was ‘their’ little thing to do, with hot chocolate, with lots of whipped cream and chocolate chips.

“You know, Baekhyun can change the colour of stars?”

“Really?”

“Yeah he can manipulate light, he’s really special- I just wish he would realise that himself”

“Baekhyunnie is so insecure… Do you know why hyung?”

“Not really” Luhan confessed “He thinks light is nothing… Not a power or element”

 “Without Baekkie the sun wouldn’t rise”

“Yeah… How does Suho believe that earth spins round and that’s what makes day and night”

“I think deep down he knows”

“Sehunnie? What do you mean?”

“Well think about it… I think he just needs something to be a barrier”

“barrier?”

“Well yeah, being a guardian is pretty traumatising altogether”

“Especially being a leader”

“Exactly I don’t think he’s ready to be the responsibility for the whole entire world, science is just his way out”

“That’s wrong” Luhan frowned

“Yeah but we see it that way because we don’t have to have that burden placed on us”

“It’s funny though- because according to science he shouldn’t be able to do what he can do but he believes it anyway”

“Like I said… It’s his way of escaping responsibility”

“You know what Kris is going to say…”

“Yeah, I do… C’mon, let’s go inside”

“Sehunnie, you’re all grown up now” Luhan said quietly, somewhat sad “You don’t need hyung anymore”

“Luhannie- I will always need you, forever”

“You promise you’ll always need me”

“I promise, do you promise to always be there?”

“With all my heart”

----

“Suho! I wrote you a song!” Lay rushed down the corridor to the dining hall to Suho who was currently eating lunch

“Really? For me?”

“Yeah… It’s got no lyrics I kinda just made the chords up”

“Oh that’s amazing!”

“It’s nothing” Lay blushed

“Here sit down, have some lunch- I have class after but I’ll come up to the attic with you tonight okay?”

“Okay, thank you hyung”

“No, thank you” Suho smiled walking into the kitchen to get Lay some fruit salad

They sat in silence for a while munching on fruit when Lay tentatively asked a question

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“Why… Why do you like science so very much?”

Suho’s face fell for a moment “Kris disapproves I know”

“Why do you like it though?”

“It’s just… It makes sense I guess… “

“But not to you”

“Why not?”

“Because Suho! Look at you! You’re this amazing celestial being and you need to see that!”

“There has to be a scientific explanation to all of this though”

“No hyung- there isn’t, I’m not trying to get you to stop… But I think you might want to before you hurt our feelings even more”

Suho’s jaw dropped “I hurt your feelings?”

“All of us hyung!” Lay was on the verge of tears “We all love you so much- you’re our leader and our brother our big brother who always got us out of trouble but you don’t believe in us and yourself”

“I-“

“You don’t even believe in Baekhyun’s power to make the sun rise, even if it’s just naturally or how he can make the stars change colour”

“I’m sorry” Suho said quietly “I just… I need it okay?”

“Why hyung? You have us! You don’t need science!”

“Lay! The whole of this planets population, all their lives are on my shoulders, including you! I need this to help me deal with it” He started sobbing “To make it go away”

“Hyung… It’s never going to go away”

“I know… But I like to think that sometimes you know?”

“Suho… This isn’t like you, you know what you’re here for and you must live up to your duty”

“To what? To save the people from themselves?”

“I know they don’t like us… But they don’t like each other either”

“This country is on the verge of war with Britannia”

“And we have to deal with that”

“I know… I’m sorry, deep down I always know it’s true, that this is my fate that I am the leader of the guardians… But sometimes I just want to be a mortal with a normal life and a normal job”

“And you can be Suho… After the peace has returned- we can eradicate ourselves from the people, and we can live among them”

“But we don’t age”

“Well… We would have to move a lot but anyway this is millennia away, I’m talking about now”

“I know, I’m sorry”

“Look- I’m not saying you can’t like science and enjoy it, just be aware that this is fact for another race”

“That’s not us”

Lay smiled softly “No- that isn’t us, but Suho, you are so much more brilliant than any mortal out there and you are worth so much more”

“I feel like I have betrayed my brothers” Suho sniffled

“You could never- Suho we love you, me especially, you’re my favourite hyung”

“I will always love you too, I will always be there for you, regardless of my internal struggles that I have, I’m sorry I have made them so public and hurt the ones that I hold closest to my heart”

“Being afraid is okay Suho- you can be afraid, you don’t have to go out and find a solution to all the problems just yet because the solution isn’t with us yet”

“I’m so scared Lay; what if I fail?”

“Easy”

“How?”

“You won’t- we won’t”

“It’s not like we have a choice”

“Suho, we were born for the soul reason to protect the earth of course we don’t have a choice”

“Sometimes I wish we did”

“You don’t choose your life”

Your life chooses you