Chapter 11: From The Past

“Do we really have to go to school today, Taeyeon?” She whined as she lay on my bed, her head hanging off of the side of the mattress, her hair looking like a waterfall frozen in time as her locks cascaded down the side of my bed, barely just brushing against the creaky floorboards below.

She had been watching me preparing my bag for school as she continued to whine about attending today’s classes. She was so much like a little child, with her immature tendencies and dislike towards anyone who told her what to do.

The thing with Jung Jessica was, she liked her freedom. She hated being confined into one small space and told to wait, listen and learn. She was kind of like a dove in a rusty cage, thrashing and scratching at the metal to let her free, begging to be released into the world she saw outside. She wanted out. She wanted to live. She didn’t want to fall into the ordinary cycle of going to school, getting a job and then working. That wasn’t Jessica, because Jessica didn’t live on planet earth, she had her own little world, where she didn’t have to face the reality of things and could have her head in the clouds for as long as she pleased. I envied her for that.

And Kim Taeyeon was the one who was constantly nailed into the depths of the ground, unable to move and experience new things. Because I liked what was familiar, I didn’t want to be put into new situations where I hadn’t been able to evaluate it beforehand. I didn’t want to figure things out. I wanted to be comfortable. I wanted closure. I wanted safety. I needed safety.

“I mean, what’s the point of going? It’s not like I’m going to listen anyway.” She groaned on.

“Sica, we have to go. Exams are coming soon and you haven’t even began to study yet.” I said, slapping the reality back in her pretty face as I began to sort which books I needed, my back facing her.

“Pfft…Exams.” She scoffed, “How is some test on Pythagoras’ Theorem going to help me in life, Taeyeon?” She stood, walking over to the window and gazing over at the morning sky, her lips pursed into a tight line. “Because finding the hypotenuse and calculating the length of the longest side of a triangle is really going to help me in life...” She muttered.

I sighed, “Jessica, you never know what the future may hold.” I said, glancing over at her.

She shook her head slightly, turning around to face me as she leaned back on the windowsill.

“Why are you always like this, Taeyeon?” She asked, her tone and facial expression unreadable.

“Like what?”

“You’re always such a stick in the mud. You’re always doing what people want you to do and expect you to do. Why not have some fun?” She said pleadingly. “It’s not gonna kill you.”

“I do have fun.” I insisted. “I just do it without breaking the rules.”

“Rules? What are rules anyway?” She muttered, plopping herself back down on my bed.

“Rules are made to keep us safe.” I replied, “They are made for us to follow.”

“No, they’re not.” She said sharply. “Rules are made to restrict you, stop you from doing what you really want. And when you try and break free from them, people look down on you, and label you as a troublemaker.”

“Jessica…” I sighed, “What do you want me to do? Mrs. Park is already keeping an eye on the both of us, and she’s already given me a warning. If we bunk off today, we’ll be in serious trouble. Sooyoung will be raging.”

“See.” She pointed, “You’re doing it again. The only reason you’re saying that is because some people have set boundaries for you, and you’re too scared to cross them.”

I turned and faced her. ”And what’s wrong with that?” I questioned.

“Nothing is wrong with it…” She said in a softer tone.

“Then what do you want from me, Jessica?” I was getting frustrated. She was frustrating.

“I want you…” She said, standing up, walking towards me. She was getting dangerously close, so I took a step back, my bottom hitting the edge of my desk. I had nowhere else to run now.

She stood there, so close to me, I could feel her body heat radiating off of her, seeping through my clothes and into the depths of my skin. I found myself staring at her, frozen, as my heart was thumping like crazy and my body began to heat up.

“…To prove it to me.” She finished, a twinkle of mischief in her brown eyes and a small smirk smoothing onto her pink lips.

“Prove what?” I questioned, trying to keep my voice at an even tone.

“That you’re not a stick in the mud. I want you to skip school with me today.”

She knew. She knew everything. It was like my skin was made of clear glass, and she could see everything that was going on inside of me.

She knew what I felt for her, and she was using it to her advantage. She had now figured out that I couldn’t say no to her. And she knew what I had been trying to do these past weeks.

I had been trying to push her away. I was trying to break the string that we had tied to one another - the thing that linked us, the thing that pulled closer together. I was trying to get rid of it because she was right. We could never be together how we wanted. We could never be just friends, we’ll never be able to have a simple and platonic love like normal friends or sisters do. We were caught in this limbo, this strange kind of in-between. We were more than friends but we were less than lovers. I genuinely just couldn’t put a label on what we were anymore. Before, things were simple. But now, I know she feels the same. We could never be just friends, like normal girls would be. We’d al