The grip tightened around her waist more, bringing her closer to that body, it was his voice, she was confused, why isn't she kicking him out of the bed?

She knew she had to do something, this situation wasn't right, but something in his voice, was that sadness? She could sense a hint of sadness in his voice; that's impossible; he is here just to take advantage of her, that's why he agreed of the whole situation from the beginning!

Rage was building up in her head, this guy brings up the worst of her since she met him, she wasn’t that kind of person!! Why does he have such power on her; JiHye decided to put an end to this, she took the hands around her and pushed her body away from his and pulled them apart, to be pushed back once again, even closer than the first time

“Yaaa! Kim JunSu ssi! What do you think you are doing here? I’m NOT one of those you bring with you every single night, and let me remind you tha…” she was cut by a sigh, a deep heavy sigh of JunSu. His breath smelled like alcohol!

“It’s because of you that I’m stuck here, your genius plan of taking revenge! I NEED TO GO OUT every night! Now you should take responsibility of your decisions”

Was he drunk? That explains everything then! She felt stupid about her decision, of course it was meant for revenge, not allowing him to go out partying as he is used to “Kim JunSu ssi! I don’t see anything wrong about ME trying to keep YOU away from scandals for the time being, what is REALLY WRONG is this!!” she pointed at them, not finding words to describe it “whatever this is, it’s not right, so if you don’t mind leaving my room, so I can get some sleep, and you should sleep too, we have a busy schedule tomorrow” JiHye said, pushing him away, for the 100^th time maybe, she was feeling her strength fading away, it was a really long day.

 “Please…” She could barely hear his voice “could you stay still, just for few minutes” He said with a pleading voice. She tried to pull away once again, his voice made her freeze.

“JiHye….Please…” It was definitely sadness! JunSu was sad, and she didn't know what to do in this situation!

JiHye didn't move, the way he called her name, was painful, it reminded her of her past, a certain past that she was trying to erase from her memory. His arms brought her back to their previous position, but he was holding into her tighter this time.

“I can’t be alone at night…I can’t have free time…I need to get busy at night…I can’t stop thinking about her…I need to forget about her…” JunSu said, breathing heavily after each sentence.

HER?! That caught JiHye’s attention, the sadness in his voice…he was hurt because of a girl!!! She didn’t replay! She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know what SHOULD be said in this situation.

“I live in those memories…” JunSu continued, the sadness in his voice turning into bitterness “The memories of having loved her, but all I can feel now is hurt, that’s what I remember” His hold tightened around her waist, he was looking for comfort in her warmth “I hold her tight till the last moment, but she was always backing away, I shout out her name 100times, with no answer, she wasn’t coming back”

What is he talking about? JiHye was confused, was he in a relation before? But she didn’t read about it when she was looking for information about him. Is that a secret love? LOVE?  The thought of that made her finch, she knew what he was talking about, she has been through this too! She understood what he is enduring, she wanted to make him feel better, there was No hate anymore! that was the REAL Kim JunSu, hurt and dumped!

JiHye thought that she had to say something after what he just said, but no word could come out of “I…I…”

“I…wanted her to love me back, but she couldn’t believe in me, she said I was…” JunSu couldn’t finish his sentence, just the thought of it made him nauseous. He took off his hands that were around her waist, and put one hand on her shoulder, making her turn to face him “You! It’s because of you that I’m thinking about her tonight, you are so alike!” He gave her an examination look, then continued “not physically for sure, she was waaa~~aaay more beautiful than you, but there is something about you…Your attitude, so arrogant and full of yourself, hating on me all the time, with no reason, not believing in me…that’s how she was”

JiHye adjusted her body so she was all facing him now; they were looking into each other’s eyes, hers were reflecting the confuse state she was in, but she could see anything in his, his stares were blank; he must be blocking a thought that crossed his mind. She had to break that silence, she had to talk about something to make him forget? But why is she caring? This question kept haunting her.

“JunSu ssi…you should rest now, stop thinking about the past, it will only make you feel bad; first love is always painful, you need to get over that and continue your life…” JiHye felt a sting of pain reaching her heart, she knew what he was feeling, and she knew she was lying to him “You need to do so, but you will never forget, the pain will always be there, those memories…they are called memories because you will always be recalling that, unless you hit your head and forget about everything, then you would consider yourself the luckiest person in the world! Just then, you can start over, a fresh beginning, a painless sleep…” Beads of tears started forming in the corner of her eyes, she thought she has forgotten about her 1^st love, but JunSu just made her realize she didn’t; overworking herself was her way to escape the truth, she never had time to think about that; She closed her eyes, recalling the last time she saw him -her boyfriend- in bed, with the person that hated her the most! She said she will make her regret, she said she will break her heart, and so she did.

JiHye still remember how shuttered her heart was, the pain she felt back then…That feeling never faded away, she thought that after those years passed, her feelings would change, but there was something more, than the hurt pride and the pain, she was faithless, she lost faith in love and in people, she could never trust anyone anymore… She was lost in her thoughts when she felt something brush against her cheeks, she opened her eyes to find JunSu staring at her like it was the first time he saw her, his finger chasing away the tears that started falling unwillingly! When did she start crying?

“There was times, when I wanted to run away from everything, give up on everything…I told her that, she knew that I would sacrifice my career for her, I wanted to come out, to reveal our relation to the public, because she was everything in my heart, because I only knew her, because I don’t know any other love, that’s why it still hurts” He paused, looking into her teary eyes “Why are you crying? You should never cry in front of me, I have a weakness toward fragile crying women!”

“It’s because of the Rain, rain sound always makes me cry” JiHye came up with the 1^st excuse that came to her mind.

“The Rain? That melody travelling in the air is the only thing is the only thing that stops my sunken heart from falling apart! Makes you cry?!! My soul is untouched because of that sound; I cried and cried and cried again, till I heard the rain pouring outside, that sweet pain disappeared suddenly, I was feeling secure, I could sense sadness in the rain, and people tend to release their suffering when it rains, that’s why it makes you cry, because you don’t see how sad it is already, listen to it carefully, and try to understand what the rain is trying to say” JunSu pushed JiHye’s hair covering her face behind her ear, wanting her to listen, carefully.

His fingers touching her cheeks then her ear lobe made her tense; she was shivering under his touch.

“I’m a fool because I only knew her, I stayed up countless nights, recalling those promises we made together, but even thought it hurts, I still cherish that” JunSu let out a fake laugh and carried on with his confession “that’s why Jae hyung keep calling me PaboSu, because I still have some hope, that she will come back again, that she will fulfill those promises, that we will be together again, she can’t live without me without regrets right?”  He looked into her eyes, waiting for her to answer; she had stopped crying now, but her voice wasn’t coming out, she couldn’t say a word!

“What if it was you? What would you do if you were in this situation?” His fingers traced her jaw line, to rest on her cheek, brushing against it gently.

This was getting more uncomfortable for JiHye, his touches were making her go crazy, her body was shivering, but she was burning under his magical touches “I would’ve done the same thing as her…” she hissed, her voice was barely heard “I would’ve left you too, it can only bring pain to my heart, sadness, that’s what a relation with you is offering, scandals, paparazzi, spotlight, not everyone can handle that…it’s jus-” She froze at that word, JunSu has leaned toward her, their lips almost touching, she could feel his hot breath against her skin

“I love you” He said with a husky voice, his lips was brushing against hers while speaking, sending vibrations all over her body “Have you ever heard these words? Have you ever loved to death?” He looked straight in her eyes sensing her nervousness he continued with the same tone, their lips still touching “Have you ever experienced that blood rush, caused by the touches of your loved one?”

His hand resting on her cheek made it way to the side, anticipating her reaction to his next move; the mere distance between their lips vanished as he planted a kiss on her lips; it was a quick peck, yet sweet and breath taking, the butterflies that has been nesting in his stomach for so long came out from their cocoons now, he didn’t felt this way since ages, that was different from all the night sessions he has been doing; At his big surprise, JiHye didn’t fight back to stop him from doing this, she was taken by surprise, but even when he pulled back, she didn’t react, she was there, still, not even blinking,

JunSu looked down at her reddening cheeks, she was so innocent, and fragile, nothing to do with the annoying –Miss I hate Kim Bastard- then he mentally punched himself for that self-insult. The Soju wasn’t doing him any good at the moment, his headache was fading, but it still hurts, but then he could blame all his acts for the moment –if he is to remember any by tomorrow- on the fact that he was drunk!

He then continued, her cheek with his thumb “Have your heart ever skipped a beat? Have you ever heard your heartbeats racing and felt like your heart is trying to free itself from the prison of your ribcage??” He planted another kiss on her lips, a bit longer this time; her lips were so soft, it felt like kissing the clouds, was so much like her, her eyes, lips and also her defensive persona!Is this why he hated her the 1^st time he saw her? Is this why he couldn’t stop thinking about her for the past two days? Is this why he felt like she is his? That she should be his? Is this why it hurts so much when she hates on him? This has to change, he will try to win her over again! Again?? JunSu stopped at the word, he was confused, she confused him, she is supposed to hate him no??

JunSu was addicted to her lips, but he knew he shouldn’t, he knew he will end up hurt, or hurt her, he didn’t wanted her to suffer, as he did! He planted a last kiss on her lips, trying to remember every detail of it, the shape of her lips, how it tastes, her scent. He buried his face on her neck; he was feeling safe “This is…I’m not All alone…” he rested his head on her chest, and closed his eyes, he was feeling asleep, Soju has always this effect on him.

JiHye froze at that position; she hasn’t move for about 15 minutes, what does he think he is doing right now? How could she allow this? A lot of questions were floating in her mind, but she couldn’t really think, how can he be that devilish in the morning with this innocent baby face? It was the alcohol’s effect after all!! She recalled what he was saying earlier, what would she do if it was her?? She couldn’t erase that question from her mind, because she didn’t gave the complete answer!

“As I said, I would run away as she did, and realize that life without you is even more unbearable than the idol life you are offering” She looked into his peaceful sleeping baby face, was he that vulnerable? She traced a tear that made it way from the corner of his eye, down his cheek, when did he cry? Her finger continue to his lips, tracing his mouth shape, she always found YuCheon’s lips tempting, but she never noticed that JunSu’s are fascinating! She leaned closer, to plant a soft kiss on his lips and looked at the sleeping “angel” next to her

“And I would come back, eventually” a small twitch appeared on JunSu’s lips, JiHyee unconsciously smiled back, he must be dreaming about good things…her maybe? At that thought, she closed her eyes, feeling relieved; at least he wasn’t feeling alone tonight…she hoped so!!!

**************************************************

finally i could update TT

i was sick and didn't have internet TT oh my god sun, it was awful...thank god i had my spare of dramas

YESS Dramas you need to watch Yunho's drama, Queen of ambition, its perfect and he is perfect and his eyes and his smile and his hands and everything about him is just PERFECTION!!!

anyways, this chap was inspired by Jaejoong's song All Alone! the whole album is jhdgfec dxdjdchgv endjhge bsshd i cant get enough from it

thanks for reading XD Love yaaaall

Don't forget to tell me ur opinion <3