Chapter 24:

I was getting too frustrated.

“I already told you,” Baekhyun continued to pester me. “You don’t need to hit those notes now. All we’re doing is making sure we can be together. This isn’t a performance.”

While he talked I drummed my fingertips along my guitar fingerboard, sitting further and further into the less than comfortable hospital pillow (which could have been avoided if Jongin hadn’t failed to bring my ing pillow when I asked three days prior).

“Yeah but if I don’t get them now, I never will,” I muttered out of sheer stubbornness and unwillingness to collaborate.

“Alright you’ve got ing pneumonia,” Baekhyun reasoned, scooting his stool closer to my bed. “I honestly do not blame you. Besides, this is just a talent show, not a showcase of your absolute best performance. No one’s about to judge you in this-“ he motioned around the room. “Predicament.”

My tenaciousness that I directed towards being as uncooperative as possible forced me to care even less.

“Jesus, aren’t you a ball of sunshine?” Baekhyun complained, shifting his gaze somewhere else. “Where’s Chanyeol when you need him?”

I sighed, curving my lips in slight annoyance.

“Baekhyun, we’ll be fine for the talent show. I’m just really not in the mood right now, so could we just-“

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Baekhyun interrupted.

I shrugged. I wasn’t willing to voice my opinions lately and I had stayed remotely quite, in contrast to my normal abundance of infinite energy. Stressed did not necessarily define how a felt but something like that crossed between indifferent and guilty.

Pretty soon I would have to give up my own parents, my own ing biological parents who raised me up until I was sixteen, bought me food, clothes, shelter, and anything that I needed. I would soon betray my parents, who loved me my entire life, for a boy I’d known a half a year.

When I started to get discouraged though, I recalled the pain and suffering Jongin had to endure due to my parents’ secret, greedy desire for easy, dirty money. I remembered how they witnessed those terrible students beating the living out of Ren and how they said nothing and did not hesitate to escape to America and leave me.

Sure, I convinced them that I wanted to stay South Korea, but they still ing left.

Baekhyun easily noticed how vexed I became, deep in my emotionally compromised thoughts, because he awkwardly stood just a little too fast, casting a quick glance down at me.

“I’m going to pick something up from the vending machine,” he announced. “Do some chips sound good?”

He didn’t wait for me to respond though and found his way out the door relatively fast, abandoning me to be alone with my thoughts that, though being me own, terrified me on levels that shouldn’t exist. The constant battle of ‘am I a terrible child’ going through my head drove me insane.

I wanted reassurance from something, anything, that what I was doing was right. I needed to know that my decision would not lead me to fill the position of worst child in the world.

The bubbly happiness that I received from surviving the accident drained from me within a week and the effects of what I was about to do filled the vacancy. The space getting closed should’ve become smaller then but it seemed to develop more and more like a vacuum, in every negative emotion it could muster.

And it hurt.

Jongin could only make me feel better, just slightly. I felt like a prick and a useless moron to society, like a flea on a dog, and Jongin excelled in making me feel like the opposite. Though he never convinced me that I contributed to the better of civilization, he did lift my spirits.

I seriously wished that I could record my thoughts or some like that and send it to me in the past via mail. And then of course I’d receive it and freak the out but listen to the suspicious tape anyway because I’m a curious . And then I would go to school, terrified of Jongin because it would seem like a terrible and cruel prank that he pulled due to how creepy and obsessed I sounded over him on the tape.

Me from the past would never believe that he had become one of the most important people in the world to me.

“Your parents have been contacted and they’ve scheduled a visit,” Doctor Choi informed me.

Jongin sat next to me, his eyebrows raised and curiosity peaked, watching me with a patient yet eager expression. He seemed unreadable but I somehow understood that he expected me to freak out and wondered why I hadn’t yet.

“Okay,” I shakily replied. “Uh, any time reference for that or…?”

“They should arrive around tomorrow afternoon,” he concluded.

As he left the room, I turned to Jongin, who was studying me sympathetically.

I then looked up towards the ceiling.

“God, if you exist in this exponentially ed up universe, please give me the strength to not mentally breakdown and collapse. Kay, thanks.”

Jongin met my eyes before I realized I was crying.

He came and sat on the bed and whispered things that sounded comforting but did not register. I was too scared to even recognize what was going on around me.

“I don’t want to ing do this,” I managed in a quiet, surprisingly even voice.

“I know,” was all Jongin said.

“I’m so scared,” I replied.

Jongin didn’t really say anything. There wasn’t anything he really could say. His parents kind of at being parents, though not so much his dad anymore. But he simply didn’t understand. Despite the blaring fault that my parents possessed, which was staring me right in the face, they’ve always taken care of me.

They’ve been there.

I at being a kid. Filial piety hit me straight on and I still couldn’t practice it.

As much as I wanted to turn them in, I equally wanted to protect them. Wasn’t it a child’s duty to do that for their parents? Then again, they successfully ruined Jongin’s life since he was fourteen.

They were coming tomorrow afternoon. If only I could have more time.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin uttered. “I don’t care what you choose. Either way,” he paused and I felt his chin leave my shoulder as he looked me straight in the eyes. “I’ll still love you.”

This did nothing to help the steady tear flow.  In fact, I was sure that water gushed even more continuously.

“I don’t particularly like crying like this,” I mentioned shakily, gripping Jongin’s shirt. “I feel really awkward.”

Jongin managed a small smile, which eventually turned into a tiny laugh.

“Only you, Kyungsoo,” was all he said.

I suddenly smiled, feeling my insides warm. I was beginning to forget that I could trust Jongin. Even if my parents winded up hating me and cursing me and disowning me, Jongin would stay by my side. I knew that he would.

“They’re supposed to be here by now,” I uttered, crossing my arms.

I wasn’t impatient though. Secretly, I was enjoying ever elongated second of their lateness. Sure, I was excited to get this over with. There might be some unexpected outcome that would give me an unlikely happy ending I hadn’t thought of. Not likely but all the possibilities would remain hidden unless they showed up.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin said, not looking up from his homework (he had already completed mine). “Even if you accused your parents, what evidence would you hold against them?”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, momentarily convinced that I needed to think about that but the answer came quite easily in contrast.

“Oh, I won’t need that,” I responded. “I’ll make them plead guilty.”

Jongin didn’t doubt me after that.

“Hey do you want to teach me how to do that problem again?” I wondered, trying to change the subject. “I already forgot.”

Jongin, who was a year younger than me, expertly excelled in math. He was, in fact, helping me, which I should’ve been embarrassed to admit.

He sensed what I was doing but said nothing as he scooted over. His precise fingers released the notebook on my lap.

“Alright,” he said, pointing. “You just need to solve this one with direct substitution.”

“Well, I know that,” I remarked. “But how do you know?”

Jongin sighed, outwardly expressing his elicit joy in helping me with limits.

“Okay, you see how the degree of the exponent of the denominator is less than the degree of the exponent of the numerator? That means there are no asymptotes. Then you know direct substitution will work.”

“Yeah,” I countered. “But what if there is an asymptote?”

“You can still use direct substitution if x is approaching a number that isn’t an asymptote,” Jongin uttered, slightly annoyed.

“So,” I guiltily continued. “What’s the answer?”

Jongin slapped his forehead.

“The Y value!” He half shouted.

“The Y value of what?” I responded with equal volume.

“The Y value that the two sides of x are approaching!” Jongin almost bellowed.

“Which is what?!”

“3!”

“Well why didn’t you-“

“Kyungsoo?”

I turned my head, recognizing the voice, heartbeat quickening with every split second that ticked by, pounding invisible nails into my sensitive skin.

Jongin’s fingers brushed my elbows, sensing my immediate change in mood and how the situation suddenly transformed.

“Baby! What have you gotten yourself into?” My mother cooed as she entered the room, her arms outstretched.

While she embraced me, I met Jongin’s eyes and he was able to catch the fear and nerve held in my gaze.

My father leaned against the door, tsking with a small smile.

“Accident prone, aren’t you?” He laughed. “Didn’t think we’d be seeing you this soon in the year. It’s not quite Christmas yet.”

I knew that the more they stayed the harder it would be to tell them so I had to make my move now.

“Mom, dad, I really need to say something-“

“Oh!” My mother gasped. “Can it wait a few minutes? Your father and I need to go get something for you!”

She looked sideways with her quirky smile she usually wore, that I missed so much, and winked at my dad.

“Be right back!” Giggling, she grabbed at his elbow and they hurriedly rushed out to go grab something.

Meanwhile, I died in my hospital bed.

“J-Jongin,” I stammered, eyes glazing. “I don’t know- I don’t think I can do this.”

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A/N OH MY GOD DON’T KILL ME I KNOW OKAY I KNOW IT’S BEEN LIKE A MONTH AND A WEEK OR SOMETHING IDEK K. I’VE HAD SO MUCH WORK AND I HAVE FINALS AND I JUST DECIDED TO UPLOAD THE HALF OF THE UNFINISHED CHAPTER. This is supposed to have two parts but I figured you guys waited long enough so I just decided to put up what I had. More coming real soon because HOLY FRICK SUMMER IS COMING IN LIKE THREE DAYS. K IM SO SORRY BUT FEAR NOT MORE SHALL COME LATER AND I’M LIKE WHAT ALMOST DONE. Thanks for all the lovely comments and new subs. (I honestly wonder why you stick with me)