Chapter 18:

Time felt as if it was slowing down.

I’d never considered this to even be possible. I always thought of it as an exaggeration of reality, an image depicting an unpleasant experience. Honestly, how could time possible slow down? It constantly ran at the same pace.

But now, I truly felt it.

My body felt so frozen, like a piece of meat hopelessly packed in a freezer. There was no escape and I couldn’t feel my toes and I couldn’t feel my fingers and it honorably felt as though I’d been washed in an ice bath.

The bus that I happened to be riding was so convenient to just have the worst possible heating I’d ever ing encountered in my entire life.

And I was fully aware that the people surrounding me were convinced I was a psychotic maniac who’d just escaped from a mental hospital.

They were probably pretty spot on too.

In my hands my phone buzzed. It carelessly lay on top of Jongin’s yearbook which rested in my lap, legs squeezed together in an attempt to get warm.

In an effort to distract myself from how cold I was, I ignored the phone (which was a call from Chanyeol, or possibly Baekhyun) and flipped the book open again.

This time I took notice of the boy’s name. Park Jungwoo. I tried to figure out if I knew him but I couldn’t come up with anything. So, how did he know me? I didn’t get it. You don’t just simply walk up to people and insult them especially if you haven’t met them.

The thoughts were giving me a headache.

I could only hope that my parents had been called and everyone and their brother was out to find the escaped hospital patient diseasing everyone with the infectious lungs that I had.

It’s okay. You’re okay. And Jongin will be too.

The bus finally stopped close enough to my apartment so I quickly got off, dipping my head lower than normal to avert everyone’s gazes, that lingered seconds too long, from greeting my eyes.

The lack of heat that my body retained was mind boggling and the fact that the cold was just it away from me left my limbs heartbroken.

I managed to walk three paces in the freezing weather, without anyone stopping me, when a warm hand gripped my shoulder and swung me around.

I turned, feet scraping along the sidewalk in the person.

My face was welcomed with the sight of Maggie Ann.

“Kyungsoo!” She cried, fingers curling around my neck. “Are you okay?”

By now I had been used to her interesting Korean and understood.

I nodded.

“Mmm. I explain later. Need to …clothes?” I wondered, praying to god that it was accurate but my brain felt frozen and trying to come up with proper sentences in English just wasn’t going to work.

“Oh you need to put on clothes,” she answered in realization.

I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of what she said so I just nodded, pretty sure that she understood me.

I should’ve figured she was going to tag along.

My apartment wasn’t really that warm.

Once I sported the warmest possible sweater, fuzzy socks and a blanket tightly wrapped around my shivering form, I sat down at my table nursing a steaming mug of coffee, gazing straight across at the redheaded female residing opposite my side of the table.

“I am sick,” I informed her, closing my eyes.

“Why aren’t you in a hospital then?” She wondered, also holding a cup of coffee.

“What?” I questioned.

“Hospital.” She repeated, even looking it up in her little Korean book and repeating it with excessive emphasis.

“Jongin,” I replied. “Gone. Eobseo.”

“Dead?!” Maggie Ann practically squealed.

“No,” I argued, reminding myself of how hard these conversations with her actually were. “Missing.”

She sat back, her fiery hair cascading over shoulders, and brought the mug to her lips taking an elongated, contemplative sip of her coffee before exhaling.

“You want to find him?” She inquired in Korean, holding her book and glancing up and meeting my eyes.

I sighed, looking backwards and thinking about how jumbled my life had become. In a matter of minutes, I put my life in great danger, on the line for the missing Kim Jongin.

It was kind of starting to unfold.

People don’t just do these things for random people. I felt as if Jongin was becoming too important to me but I wasn’t exactly sure what love was, hence the song. I’d never wanted to be so close to someone, never felt as if their happiness was directly correlated and proportional to mine.

“Yes,” I responded.

“Sarang?” She silently whispered, gauging my reaction.

I closed my eyes, leaning back and inhaling, finding it difficult, again reminded of my sickness.

“That’s right,” I answered in Korean, knowing she’d understand.

“It’s okay,” she immediately says. “Love is not restricted to a man and a woman.”

I gave her a confused look, giving her the sign that I didn’t understand what she just said.

“Sarang…Namja…Namja…Ggwaenchanhah…”

Tears formed in my eyes but I didn’t allow them to fall, blinking them away. Her choppy sentences caused my heart to shiver in fear but also in delight because the weight of my love for Jongin seemed to be crashing down on my.

“Okay,” I remarked. “But I am scared.”

A small smile tugged at her lips as she set her coffee down and inclined so she was bent over, slightly closer to me than before.

“Hwaiting!” She tells me with a wink, pump of her fist and a flashed smile.

“Maggie Ann,” I laughed, feeling slightly better even though the gesture burned my lungs. “Gomawo.”

“Do you need medicine?” She asked. “Medicine.”

I shook my head. I had already taken some pills a half hour before and had just a few more to take later, but I knew that I was going to have to be quick about this and careful. I had to find Jongin soon.

Once Maggie Ann was gone, I wrapped a scarf around my neck, collected my phone and wallet, and stuffed myself into the warmest jacket that I could find.

And then I decided to call him.

The tone of the phone greeted me after several rings and I had the option to leave a message. At first I opted not to. It wasn’t like he was going to hear it anyway.

But then I decided to.

“Kim ing Jongin,” I began. “Where in ing hell are you? I don’t know what the you are doing but I suggest you call me back or at least respond to my texts. Do you know what the I am doing for you? I am out of the hospital searching for your sorry . So, if you would like me to go back, you better ing call me. And no I’m not overreacting because I ing lo- no scratch that. You don’t get to hear it until you call me. Got it? Good. Now come and discuss things with me or I’m going to wind up dead. Alright, good message there. Bye.”

I sighed in content, realizing that was such a girly, hormonal thing to do but by now, all s given were left at home.

Then I proceeded to leave a very similar text message.

It was approximately an hour later. I was sitting in the booth of an incredibly sketchy diner when my phone began to buzz, vibrating in my pocket and causing me to jump, simultaneously nearly knocking over my second cup of coffee.

While snapping the phone open, I put on the most serious expression.

“Do ing Kyungsoo,” I was greeted. “Where in ing hell are you?”

I resisted all temptations to laugh at his beautiful imitation of me.

“I don’t know Mr. Allusive, where are you? I asked first,” I replied, realizing how much his voice made me instantly feel better.

“It’s kind of a long story,” he began.

“Yeah,” I remarked. “Well, you have a lot to explain because I’m worried out of my mind.”

He sighed on the other end.

“Kyung, you better not be out of the hospital,” he uttered unhappily.

“Oh, but I am,” I continued. “You should’ve seen the looks I got when I got on the bus in my gown.”

“Kyungsoo tell me you’re ing with me,” he retorted, frustrated.

“What, you want proof?” I challenged. “I’ll take a picture of where I am.”

“That’s not the point!” He bellowed. “You could die! This isn’t a joke.”

“I suppose you better find me then or at least explain what’s going on,” I compromised. “Otherwise, I’m going to stay out of the hospital in all of my infectious glory.”

“Kyungsoo!” Jongin cries, but it comes out as a whine. “Please,” he begs.

I sighed.

“Listen Jongin,” I mumbled. “I really don’t know how to say this and it’s not proper over the phone, but I’m in this state of mind where if something happens to you I’ll be on that roof that we stood on last month contemplating what my life is worth, because you make it so much better.”

There’s a long pause.

“Is this a confession?” Jongin finally blurts out.

“God, maybe it is!” I yelled into the phone, ignoring the stares. “Guess you’ll never know if you don’t come ing get me.”

“Because, Kyung, the thing is-“

“I don’t ing care! Just find me!” I interrupted, feeling the heat of everyone’s scrutinizing looks.

I was beyond caring of how desperate sounding that I appeared.

“…Ugh, fine.”

“I also expect a full explanation,” I retorted. “Don’t think it’s okay to just have-“ I broke into a fit of coughs. “Okay to have a random epiphany and just leave me helpless in the hospital.”

“But you are. Wait was that coughing?” He asked, concern laced into his voice expertly.

“Yeah, maybe,” I responded. “Just come and take care of me then.”

“God dammit, I am! Jesus, you’re so needy, Kyungsoo!” Jongin grumbled through the phone.

“Shouldn’t have left me in the first place,” I whispered, forgetting that he could hear me.

“Sorry,” he suddenly said. “I swear that I’ll explain when I get there.”

“Okay,” I answered.

There was another pause.

“Hey, shorty?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

I contemplated on the best answer.

“I will be when you get here.”

Jongin arrived a half hour later in a black Toyota Camry.

He sported a fitting, red sweater and casual jeans, slightly covered by a black, winter jacket. His hair had its straight, lazy but perfect look.

I was expecting our greeting to be normal, a few insults, some glares but it was quite opposite actually.

The moment Jongin stepped outside, along with me, he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and wrapped his arms around them, another one of his hands resting against the back of my neck, warm and soothing.

“Sorry,” he repeated.

“Jongin,” I protested. “I’m still sick. Don’t hug me.”

“I don’t care.”

Something about him changed profoundly and I couldn’t tell when it happened. Where did the scary, unhappy Jongin go? Where was the boy who was cold, mysterious and unapproachable? While he may have still seemed that way to others, to me, he was forever a comforting figure.

I tried to reach my arms around him but he snatched them and placed them between our bodies.

“It’ll be bad,” he informed me. “To expose those to the cold air.”

We stayed like that for a few moments before he invited me into the car. It was still running so the heat welcomed itself to my skin, prickling against it but warming it nonetheless.

Jongin got into the driver’s seat, slamming the door with a bang.

“It’s my neighbor’s car,” he informed me. “I don’t know why he let me borrow it. He thinks I’m this rebellious, trouble maker child.”

I sniggered, earning a playful glare.

“Here,” he said, leaning away and into the backseat.

He retrieved a fleece blanket and draped it over me.

I simply stared at him.

I should’ve been sick more often if it allowed me to see this side of him.

“What?” He wondered, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s not my fault you’re ing stupid. I’m just keeping you alive.”

I shook my head.

“So,” he finally continued, “What were you going to say over the phone?”

I gazed into his dark, swallowing eyes and noticed that his cheeks were slightly flushed from the cold, contrasting with his dark skin.

“I think I like you more than I should,” I ended up muttering.

“How much?”

“Too much.”

“Is there a specific amount?” He continued, amused.

“No.”

His look made me feel uncomfortable yet safe at the same time.

“Good,” he answered. “Because I feel the same way.”

I bit my lip nervously, feeling a cough coming on and suddenly hacking away, ruining the perfect moment.

Jongin laughed a heavy, hearty chortle and his eyes smiled at me.

“I know this really isn’t the time and I think that I just realized as of a week ago that I’m gay but,” he paused dramatically. “Kyungsoo, would it be in your best interest to date me?”

I nearly choked.

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Author’s Note: Oh god! Sorry for not updating guys! Sorry. Long, stressful week. Long story and blah blah blah. Finals. So anyway THE PLOT. Is getting INTENSE. So yeah. Thank you for subscribing. I love you all. And look forward to the next chapter. Comment? :D