It is winter now and the frost is starting to accumulate on the window and i unconsiously start to draw a heart with out anitials in it like something from a movie but its just a natural reaction i guess. I start to fold away the memories in my head because i know they will make me sad again, today is the day i am going out with the guys and i want to try and have a good time. I get up from my spot and move over to your side of the bed and sit their hearing your voice in my mind telling me how i should pay to sit in the same spot as "Park Chanyeol" because its such a honor (che~) " a honor my " i would always say and then proceed to rub my on his side just for effect. I smiled at the thought

(ding dong)

Oh yeah back to today's event's, according to Suho this wasn't just "A trip downtown to see the christmas tree lights" he told me how Chen confessed to him how he had feelings for Luhan but didn't know what to do or how to ask him out. Luhan is the shy person, very meak and quiet. I always assumed they loved each other, once you have seen their intersactions with each other you can , you know, kinda get that vibe that they are meant to be. The sad thing is that Luhan hasn't come out of the closet yet and continues to say that he is just "unsure". We all know that his family is strick with religions even after he is grown and out of the house it stil bother's him that they pester him to marry and have children. Its not like he doesn't think about it its just that his father is ...persistant. His mother is even worse, unannouced tripped to the studio and to his home. Chen gives him the worse time about it. His family didn't accept him either and kicked him out and don't want to do anything with him. They used to ask me and chanyeol how we ever got together.

Chanyeol was the one that is in the same poisition as Luhan but he can't be here to give him any advice and my parents already knew and treat me the same even my sister didn't bother to treat me any differnt or do any sterotypes like "ask me about the hottness of a guy" or "go shopping with her". She used to say "i knew you were like before and now that your out cause your just a lost cause pabo ya" she is just a doll isn't she.

[flashback]

"Yeha it was no problem really" i say from the other end of the line scratching the back of my head "They really took it as no big deal i am quite suprised". "Im not your family is always nice and i secrelty think they always knew", "ah how DID YOU KNOW THAT" i screamed from the other end then hastily covering my mouth and hide deeper into my sheets and i pull the blanket over my head and continue to talk to my boyfriend."Yeah i feel relifed too like a huge weight lifted off" *chuckle* "what's so funny?" "Your a worry wort" he laughed from the other end. "ITS A BIG DEAL" i argued back earning me a knock on the door from my sister who yelled at me to shhut it or she'll MAKE ME shut it. I whsupered back "what about you?" i hear a long paused and i was going to say "nevermind" because i knew it was kinda a sensitive subject for him since he was the only child of a single mother who was a strick military officer. If your wondering, she is a seemingly nice woman. Like....she has decency, its not like we don't have common ground but i feel like it could be better. I still dont' believe that my fluffy boyfriend ever came from that she-rock of a woman who doesn't even smile while chanyeol has a derpy one sketched into his face 24/7. 

Then he spoke "I haven't said anything yet..im sorry" he said the last part with guilt that you could feel from the phone. I can see him now lying down on the floor of his room, back against the bedroom door, head hanging low. "Its not that big of a deal for now i understnad the si-" "But i want to i really do i just" I accured to me that maybe he needed some support to be their and who else better than his boyfriend right. If i could handle is mother when we were friends then their is no way i couldn't handle her now. It isn't like i haven't seen her mad before i thought to myself remebering when we broke the ceiling fan in the living room and her facing turning bright and eyes getting wider than mine. "What if..i was their with you" i said hesitatly thinking that chanyeol might say no since this is priavte and sometimes i don't know where my boudry is or "Y-..you mean when i tell her" he asked "Y-yeah i can be their with you and we can tell ger together so you don't feel so alone" i said and i can hear the smile forming as he spoke "Yeah, YEAH that would be great kyungsoo we could like meet up and then wait for her to get home and like" he was speak so fast by now i lost what he ways saying, pretty sure it wasn't even korean by this point and just a bunch of mummbled words he thought made sense.

5:00PM

my palms are sweating as i sit in the living room of chanyeol's house where we are waiting for his LATE mom to get home. Chanyeol has made his still self permanitly standing by the doorway like a theif in the night being the look out for police as he glances out the eyehole every so often to look for that old Sudan to pull into the driveway. Chanyeol was saying appologizes under his breath ever so often but i would rather be here than anywhere else anyways so i didn't care how long she took i could spend the night for all i cared and i wouldn't even be dirupted in the slightest.It was only 30 minutes but i can feel right as soon as the clock 5 that chanyeol shock internally with anticipation if not for the outward shiver i could visbally see to say the lease i never he was a nervous wrech. "Here sit down" i got up from my spot and pushes him to the couch to sit by me "your acting like you've stollen a pricless articfact and look like it too" i nagged while getting a towel to whip his face with.As i am in the kitchen i hear the door open am go back around the corner to see Mrs. Park looking right at me.

"...oh your here again" she said with static expression and a dull look to match. She walked into the kitchen with me and set her stuff down and took a seat down at the tabel crosses her hands and glaced up at me "you have something to tell me" she turned her attention to chanyeol who looked like a deer in the headlights and i had to speak uip instead. "Um...Yes Mrs.Park" "Well just go ahead and tell me then i am tired and would rather get this bad news over with" I wasn't upset that she intrupted me or that she always gives me little respect but it was the fact that she just assumed it was bad from  the start just because it was me and her son. If it was a girl or another friend she wouldn't care as much and brush it off. I was at such a lost for words that i had to take a big breathe before just being direct and saying what i truely thought "I love your son" i said looking straight at her looking as determined as i felt "And he is my boyfriend" i went over to chanyeol and held his hand pulling him closer to us "We just wanted you to know that" i said looking at the ground now that the words have just fallin out of my mouth. Then it was just quiet. It was like type of quite you get when someone tells you that your family memeber died or when your just hurt. Then out of the quiet came a squish in my hand and i looked up to see chanyeol looking straight ahead and with a smile he said "Yeah im kinda gay for him" he then grinned and moved so close to me that i swear we shared a hip. He rubbed his head and continued "I hope you approve of us" he hesitated and definitly didn't master that sentence but non the less got it out of his mouth in one piece.

She never said anything 

Not a word but chanyeol told me that she still acts the same , and she does, so i gues it means she is okay with it

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if she had a "negative" reaction because i don't even bother thinking that she could have a "postitive" happy one.

PRESENT

"Luhan your such a kid" Chen said as luhan's face lit up at the size of the huge tree in the center of the town sqare. Its multicolored lights , ordiments, and florecent glass angel proudly displaed at the top are shininig brighly for all to see. It seems like Luhan is more of a kid then the rest of us and his child-like gaze always makes me feel refreshed and happy like a kid too. I look up upon the scene and feel the atposphere get to me and i end up just smiling like a idot and not caring one bit. "Look at Kyungsoo he is into the spirit too" luhan says i feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see a smiling Chen and Luhan comes beside me to get a better view. Of to the right we hear the choir start up and proceed with the first song of the night 

"Koyohan pam 

Korukhan pam
Odum e muthin pam
Chu ui pumo anjaso
Kamsa kido turil ttae
Agi chal to chanda
Agi chal to chanda"

I see the stars, do you see them too? Maybe tonight we share them