I sat, with my legs on the bench, thinking hard about what I had done…tears poured silently down my cheeks, why was I always caught in this type of mess? I felt the rain soaked through my hair, I felt my tears drip down my cheeks.

I sniffed lightly, looking around. Where was I? I didn’t know…I quickly stood up. I had to find my way home…shivering, I started to walk slowly.

I squinted at the path in front of me, deciding it was the correct way. Was it? I think so. I heaved an immense sigh of relief as the building came in view. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. Can I go back? I didn’t dare to face Kiseop…

Hesitating, I looked at the sky. Rain was still falling but the sky was dark…I was sure it was late already. Would he be asleep? Trying my luck, I carefully opened the door quietly,

“Where did you go?” oppa exclaimed, causing me to jump. He leapt forward from the couch and pulled me into his arms, squeezing me hard.

“Oppa…I’m wet…” I mumbled, pushing him away.

“I don’t care, babe…” he murmured, caressing my face. He slowly lowered his lips to mine.

“Saranghae…” he whispered before his lips touched mine and started to kiss me with a fierce passion. I kissed him back, starting to lose myself in him. Finally, I pulled away from him, shivering.

“I’m going to take a bath…” I told him, retreating to my room to get my clothes.

***

I stared at her retreating figure, feeling myself calm down. She was fine. I couldn’t forgive her yet for calling me Jaehyo… but that name sounded familiar… I think he’s the one from abroad, the one she was engaged to.

I sighed and walked off to my room to sleep. I have a long day tomorrow and I had to get my rest.

“Hae Ra… you promised not to leave me…” I mumbled before zonking out.

***

I walked back to my room and sat down on my bed. My head had started to throb once again. I felt troubled. What was I going to do? Can I just ignore Jaehyo oppa? Perhaps then, he wouldn’t come to bother me again? But that isn’t right…I don’t want to be a heartbreaker. It feels mean.

My eyelids felt heavy…soon, I fell asleep, drowning in my slumber.

When I came to, it was still early. But I had work. Groggily, I got up. Aish…my head was still hurting badly…my throat felt dry and my body was sore. Dryly, I coughed, hurting my chest. Then, I remembered what happened. I must have caught a cold from yesterday. But I couldn’t use anymore sick leaves…I sighed and got out of bed, preparing to wash up.

“Oppa…” I said weakly when I saw him outside, having breakfast with the gang. He merely nodded in my direction. Kevin and Eli shot him curious looks.

I couldn’t bother yet to find out what had happened. I was sore all over.

When I was going to leave the house, I looked back at the boys.

“I’ll be going now…” I said, bowing abit. They all waved to me and I walked out into the chilly day.

***

“Hyung, did something happen?” Kevin asked me, looking at me suspiciously. I nodded my head sadly.

“what happened?” Eli asked, looking concerned.

“She called me Jaehyo…” I mumbled. The boys looked at me shocked.

“Do…Do you think she still uh… likes that guy then?” Soohyun hyung asked. I shrugged my shoulders. Dongho looked disgusted.

“I bet you’re pissed. I am. It’s bad that she called you someone else… you should dump her…” he muttered, annoyed. The others murmured agreement all around.

They were all so pissed with her. I knew I was too and I knew I needed some time to be without her if I was going to forgive her.

***

I walked back into the dorm a mere 4 hours after I left for work… my boss sent me home, after seeing me coughing and sneezing throughout the day. I had to accept the offer…I wasn’t feeling well.

No one was home yet so I had to make some food for my stomach, which was grumbling away. Eating only a few spoonfuls of porridge, I lose my appetite and returned to my room.

I wanted to sleep so badly…I missed oppa too…he used to take care of me so nicely. I smiled at the thought. Well. He will be back later at night so I’ll see him then! Still smiling to myself, I drifted off into sleep…

***

I heard voices outside when my eyes starting to open…I glanced at the clock…it was 10pm already…where was oppa…I tried to sit up and immediately, I started to feel the tickle in my nose.

“ah choo!” I sneezed, feeling miserable as I stared outside, wondering why no one came to see me…maybe I’m too selfish… I sighed and walked out, into the kitchen to get some food. No one said hi to me but instead acted like I was not there… perhaps they’re tired from their day, I thought, grabbing a bowl of noodles and heating it.

Slowly, I sat beside them and started to eat. Unconsciously, i realised that they were moving off slowly to the side. I looked at them, hurt in my eyes. Why were they avoiding me?

“Oppa…” I tried. Kiseop merely just looked at me.

“What.” He asked flatly. I stared at him, in disbelief.

“I…I caught a cold…” I mumbled, still staring. He shrugged.

“then go sleep it off or something…” he muttered and walked off.

What was going on? Why were they being like this? I stared ahead at my food, trying to supress the tears that threatened to fall behind my eyes. I swallowed painfully as I stalked off to wash my bowl.

CRASH.

I looked at my hands, shocked. Blood dripped slowly from my fingers as I bent down to pick up the broken shards of glass. I didn’t register the pain but I could hear the chatter dying down as AJ curiously peeked in to see what happened. Quickly sweeping up the rest of the shards, I threw them away and walked silently to my room, oblivious to both the stares they gave me and the blood dripping from my fingers.

***

Was she alright? I stared after her, looking at the trail of her blood. I couldn’t bring myself to follow her and yet, I still was concerned for her. how long was I going to act like this? I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, exasperated.

“Hyung, gwaenchanha?” Dongho asked, eyes still glued to the television. I nodded my head, tearing my eyes away from her.

I needed some space.

***

Water trailed down my back, pooling gently at my feet. I sighed in relief at the comfort. It slowly washed away my fatigue. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain. I looked down and realised it was my fingers. Wincing slightly, I washed off the blood, and proceeded to dress the wound after I towelled myself dry.

Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the toilet, not knowing what to expect. I heaved a sigh again when they ignored my presence and I retired to my room.

Sitting on the bed, my mind started to hurt again. Jaehyo or Kiseop? I didn’t know who to choose now. This time, both of them looked and felt the same. There was no way I could choose like that. I sighed loudly, frustrated with how things have turned out. Now none of them were willing to talk to me…I expect that they already heard what happened.

My chest hurts. Oppa…are you really going to ignore me too? Are you really going  to just let me fade away? Thoughts ran wildly through my mind and I clamped my hand over my heart, feeling it hurt inside. “Oppa mianhe…” I whispered, feeling the sting in my eyes.

I cried myself to sleep, feeling so lonely when I’m not alone…

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so this is the next chapter for the story

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