I wish I could hand in the resignation that sat in the top drawer in my bedroom. If I had enough courage, I would have handed it in immediately. It would have been the right thing to do, after all, being fired would be the last thing I wanted on my record. Yet at the same time, I hoped one day it would come, and I could admit my secret. It was becoming difficult to keep my thoughts silent, and one of these days I was going to slip up. Being somewhat a proud person in whatever I did, having a secret made me feel uneasy. Especially since I knew he was onto it.

Becoming a home assistant seemed like a logical thing to do when I moved to Seoul. It wasn’t like I hadn’t spent most of my teenage years looking after my grandparents when I wasn’t in school, and so it didn’t seem so far fetched to do it for another family either. The main point that made me take the position at the Jeon household was the pay. I had been worried about moving to the South Korean city in reality, even though I had been planning it for years. The Jeon family put me at ease however, offering me the security of a home and enough money to save or spend however I wanted to. It wasn’t a hard task to run their household either. As doctors, both Mr and Mrs Jeon barely made any appearances. They only had two teenagers, and the oldest, Jiyeon, was rarely around, always off making sure she remained the social elitist she worked hard at being. It was almost as if the large house belonged to just me and their son Jihwan.

And that was where my problem laid. The first three months of working for the Jeons moved past easily, but the closer I got to knowing the sixteen year old dancer, the harder it became for me to remember my place in their house around him. It didn’t help that Jeon Jihwan didn’t look his age at all, and clearly became comfortable around me. It wasn’t long until he would wake up and walk around the house without a tee over his upper body, despite my asking that he would. I spent basically all my time except for Sundays in his constant company, and it was obvious Jihwan seemed to like my presence. I assumed life had been lonely for him before my arrival, with the rest of his family spending more time out of their expansive home than in it. Although I was sure in the beginning Jihwan only wanted a friend, my own mind seemed to wish for more.

It’s not like I enjoyed entertaining the idea of Jihwan with myself. At twenty-two I could hardly claim to be old, but with my American upbringing, Jihwan was still off limits for another two years. He didn’t seem to grasp this idea however, and it almost seemed as if the teenager had picked up on my attraction. I had been completely nonchalant about it as much as I could, so he couldn’t have been led on by myself. But I was human too, and as much as I told my brain to tear my eyes off of his well defined body, they sometimes didn’t respond. The only time I was safe was when he was in school. And yet somehow I’d find myself watching the time, waiting for his arrival home. It was a frustrating situation, and I didn’t know what to do with it, hoping it would somehow disappear.

“Noona!” a voice called out loudly and I groaned, rolling over in my bedding and threw a pillow over my head for good measures. It repeated several times over so that I couldn’t ignore Jihwan’s cry, and with another groan I threw back my blankets in annoyance, pulling my legs over the side of the bed and hoisting myself up. I padded to my door and across the hallway, into Jihwan’s room. He was standing in front of his wall length mirror pane, adjusting his school shirt. I blinked a couple of times and realised it wasn’t done up completely, my hazel eyes soaking in his bare midriff briefly.

“What?” I asked, and he let out an impatient huff of air. “I was asleep Jay.”

“My button has come off my shirt,” he explained, pointing to the missing button space. “Can you please sew it back on?”

“Why didn’t you ask me this last night?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t think of it. Here is the button, and I grabbed the hand-sewing kit, see.”

“So why didn’t you sew it back on?” I wondered, reaching for his outstretched hand to which he dropped the small white button into my hand with a chuckle.

“Maddie, I’m not a girl.”

“Because guys don’t work in drycleaners at all,” I retorted sarcastically and his laughter grew. I motioned for the boy to move back towards his bed, and he sat down, throwing his upper body back onto the bedding and exposing more of his stomach. I almost stumbled on top of him, managing to save myself and sit down on the bed. I reached out for the kit next to me and threaded a needle, yawning in the process.

“Did you not sleep well?” he enquired, and I shook my head. “Poor noona. You should have asked me to sing you a lullaby. Then you would have.”

With my heart pounding in my chest, I remained outwardly cool. “I was having a good sleep until I was rudely awakened.”

“It is seven-thirty, who is going to make my lunch?”

“You perhaps?” I suggested, tugging at his shirt and placed the button on top. I made a loop through the hole before looking down at his amused expression. “Spoilt brat.”

“I distinctly remember that I did the dishes and the vacuuming last night.”

“And I distinctly remember telling you not to.”

His expression grew soft. “You had a headache and didn’t look well.”

“Stop moving,” I ordered as I almost missed the hole of the button.

“Do you want me to take it off noona?”

“No, just don’t move.” I could feel that my cheeks had grown hot at my request and he chuckled again, making me slip. “Ow!” I cried, dropping the needle away from myself, pulling my hand away and sighing heavily as the crimson colour oozed from the top of my finger.

“Oh ,” he swore, carefully grabbing the needle and threading it onto his shirt. “Come on to the bathroom now.”

“It’s just a prick, let me finish or you’ll be late for school.”

He yanked off his top instead, and then silently grabbed my finger, pulling me up from the bedding. Although it wasn’t much, I felt dizzy all the same. I had never liked the sight of blood, even my own, and as my surroundings whizzed passed me, I could feel my skin growing clammy. Suddenly the cooling sensation of water running over my finger woke me up from my sickness and I blinked rapidly, glancing up at Jihwan’s concentrating expression. He looked at me and smiled, focussing back on my hand.

“I think you’re going to be fine.”

“Of course I am, it was so minor,” I murmured, trying to take control again. I went to pull my hand out of his, but he grabbed it more tightly, shooting me another look.

“I’m playing doctor here,” he stated, turning off the faucet and then handed me a towel to place over my hand. As I dried my skin off, he rummaged in the medicine cabinet, pulling out a small band aid and taking my hand back into his care. He gently dressed it, and I started to feel foolish over the tiny injury. Once he was done, he held up my hand to examine his handiwork and beamed a huge smile at me. “All better!”

Except that was when my knees gave way. Jihwan lurched to grab me in time, pulling me against his chest. I couldn’t figure what exactly had made me feel faintish, whether it was the smile or the small loss of blood, but either way, being in his arms didn’t help me out at all. As I tried to breathe I was hit by his intoxicating citrus aftershave, and the smoothness of his bare skin against my arms sent electric surges throughout my body. We stood there for a moment, and I slowly glanced up at him, pleading with my eyes for him to let me out of this heavenly torture. His dark eyes regarded me for a moment and I lost all coherence, falling quickly into his liquid orbs. I felt like I was sinking fast, and he was barely holding me up, my mind frantically trying to break free. Suddenly my limbs began to work again, and I was able to push him off.

Diverting my gaze to the tiled floor, I spoke quietly. “You should finish getting ready for school Jihwan, you’re going to be late. Just buy your lunch today. Your pocket money is sitting on the kitchen table.”

He didn’t reply, simply stepped passed me and out of the room. Glancing at the mirror with a stricken expression, I wondered what the hell had just happened then.

When Jihwan returned later that evening from school, he was incredibly quiet. Dinner was silent, apart from the clinks of our cutlery and drinking from our glasses. Before I had a chance, the table had been cleared and Jihwan had stacked the dishwasher. With a murmur about doing his homework, the boy disappeared up the staircase, leaving me feeling incredibly lost. I wondered all kind of scenarios stemming from the morning incident. During the day I had convinced myself that he was unaffected by it, but the red haired boy was clearly showing me otherwise. I wanted to confront him and ask him about it, but my nerves failed me like my knees had earlier. Instead, I had retreated to my own bedroom, changing into my pyjamas and pulled out the book I was reading. After awhile I found myself growing steadily exhausted, but I pressed on with reading, the words blurring into one. Closing my eyes I tried to force myself awake, but it became difficult to reopen them.

When I did, I found that the light was off and I sighed, stretching out my arms and knocking the book off myself clumsily. Reaching over the side of the bed, I picked it up and pulled myself upright, flinching as I realised someone was watching me.

“Jihwan?” I enquired at the boy leaning against the wall across from me and he nervously glanced around my darkened room. “What the hell?!”

“I uh… well you… and then-”

“How long have you been in here?” I asked and he shrugged, stepping away from the wall and heading towards the door. “Wait. Why are you in here?”

“You always look so peaceful when you sleep.” His eyes grew wider at his words in realisation and his hand shot up to rub the back of his neck.

I sat up and tilted my head to the side. “This isn’t the first time?”

“No,” he admitted with an embarrassed sigh, looking at me and then at the door. “I’ll uh-”

“Come here,” I instructed, and the boy immediately obliged, sitting down next to me. I gazed at him for a moment and then pursed my lips together. “You should be asleep.”

“I couldn’t. Yesterday’s bathroom incident kept cropping up in my mind.” He my duvet before looking at me again. “Noona, you were so affected.”

“I did see my own blood,” I tried to remain light, but let out an awkward cough that showed my real intentions.

Jihwan smiled lightly. “I want to ask you something. But I’m worried you won’t answer me honestly.”

“I’ve never lied to you before Jay,” I responded, forcing the words out as my throat became thick. Although they were true, I could sense he was going to ask about my feelings. My chest tightened and I knew this was it. He had found me out, and probably thought of me shamefully.

“Alright, you have to listen me out completely, promise?” he said and I nodded once. He chewed his bottom lip before continuing. “If I was to like someone, do you think I should be allowed to like them, no matter who they are?”

I became slightly confused. “Of course Jay, we can’t help who we like.”

“Even if the other person doesn’t like me?” he persisted and I frowned. “Well I don’t think she does.”

“What gives you that idea?”

“I try to show her a more manly side, but this person doesn’t seem to like when I do. I want to show her I can protect her and care for her, even though I am inexperienced and younger than her.”

“Have you tried telling her how you feel?” I questioned, and his eyes fell upon my face again, causing me to take an unsteady breath at the intensity of his gaze.

“I’m trying to tell her now.”

“W-what?” I blurted out and Jihwan gave me a knowing look. Foolishly I looked around the room, even though I knew it was only us. Everything I had been hiding from the boy flooded to the surface and I wanted to react in so many ways. But I couldn’t do a thing, frozen from the ferocity of the sudden change in events.

“I watch you sleep almost every night. I’m creepy I know. But unless I can tell you’re safe, I can’t sleep. Ever since you stepped into this house, I’ve been attracted to you. But I know I’m only sixteen to you. So I’ve tried to keep it a secret. Maddie, I can’t keep quiet anymore though. I think I’m in love with you. And I need you to know this, even if you do reject my confession,” he quickly admitted, and I stared back at him blankly. His eyes searched mine and with another embarrassed sigh, he got to his feet. “I see, it is how I feared.”

“Jihwan,” I shakily called and he glanced back at me, his eyes watering. I watched as a single tear trickled down his cheek before he silently left my room. Throwing my blankets back, I darted to my feet and out of my room, opening the door to his bedroom and gasped as a hand pulled me in and shut the door. Before I could react I was mere millimetres away from the boy I was in love with. He still held me and despite his wet cheeks, he looked incredibly determined. I could tell what he was going to do, and prepared for his mouth to find mine.

Passion burst from me as soon as his lips pressed against my own, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could tell I had startled him as his kiss faltered for a second, before he became more urgent to tell me how he felt. His hands roamed to my waist and ran up and down my back, our lips separating for a breath before I needed to taste him again. I couldn’t believe how I was acting, but at that moment all I cared about was telling the boy that I loved him too with my actions. Jihwan began backing us up and I felt the bed hit the back of my legs, toppling us both onto it. We broke the kiss again, although this time we merely stared at one another.

“I-I love you too,” I told him, and he blinked a couple of times. A grin soon surfaced on his swollen lips and he let out a small triumph laugh.

“Really?”

“Why do you think I almost fainted?” I pointed out and his grin somehow managed to widen. “Don’t get too excited, I’m only an employee here. One that I’m sure your parents wouldn’t want to be hooking up with their respectful sixteen year old son.”

“I’m not so sure about your theory there,” he replied, smirking gently and brushing my hair away from my face. I narrowed my eyes in confusion and he sighed, leaning in to kiss me again. “You’re so adorable when you don’t understand.”

“How about you try filling me in then,” I demanded and Jihwan twisted his lips in thought for a moment.

“My Dad found me sneaking into your room months ago.”

“He what?!”

“He knows I like you. He was the one I turned to for advice.”

“You’re joking?!” I asked incredulously and he shook his head.

“Dad believes you have enough moral decency that if you were to like me back, you’d not do anything stupid like end up sleeping with me without letting them know first.”

I blinked rapidly. “And, and he’s okay with this?”

“I personally wouldn’t mind seeing more of your skin sometime soon, but yeah, he’s okay with it.”

“I … woah,” I breathed and Jihwan nestled his nose into my neck for a moment before lifting his head back up.

“You okay with this then?”

“Well, I mean, I’m not dreaming am I?” Jihwan instantly reached for my arm and pinched it. “Ow!”

“Looks like you’re awake to me,” he teased and I hit him lightly. He then turned serious. “I best walk you back to your room. And start planning our first date.”

I was in complete shock that his foolish sentence didn’t make me react. I allowed Jihwan to take my hand and pull me off the bed, leading me out of his room and back into my own. He stopped in my doorway and pulled me close, kissing my forehead and I glanced up at him dumbly.

“Sleep well my noona,” he murmured, and then let me go. I closed my door and blindly walked over to my bed, taking a heavy seat on the edge.

I had been so worried about my feelings and walking on egg shells for months. Yet in the space of half an hour my fears had been completely erased. The Jeons’ had given me the security of a home and a lifestyle when I had moved to Seoul. And even though Jihwan was still in school, he gave me something I had never received before.

Love.

The End.