Their Thoughts
Saranghae... Again. 사랑해... 다시.
January 13th, 2003.
My parents hired a home school tutor for me. Since it’s already halfway through the school year in America, my parents decided to have me start next school year instead. In this time, I’ll be learning English and taking some classes as well.
Young Saeng and I have been keeping in touch: he tells me what’s been going on since I left and I tell him how I’ve been settling in. It makes me realise how much I really miss him…
January 13th, 2003.
It’s been weird not having Seon Yul a short distance away from me anymore. We’ve managed to keep in touch and she seems to be settling in well, but it’s just not the same…
August 22nd, 2003.
My first week of high school is over. I’m a sophomore – 2nd year in high school – and I guess I’m doing alright. Everyone calls me by my English name, Melody, but they say they like the way my Korean name sounds when I tell them. Everything is so different from school in Korea. The English my tutor taught me is enough for me to understand and have conversations with the other students. But I feel that I still have much to learn. However, I know that being immersed in an English-speaking environment five days a week will improve my English.
Young Saeng has been busy lately. He’s been focusing on his training a lot lately. I don’t mind too much though; I know that if he does well, he could debut in the entertainment industry.
It just bothers me slightly that we can’t talk as much anymore…
August 22nd, 2003.
Seon Yul told me about her first week of school. I wish I could be more engaging but I always have to leave for training, so my replies to her emails are short and basic. She’s made friends so I’m sure she’s fine not being able to talk to me as much. She told me she was cheering me on and was certain that I would be able to debut. I hope it’s true too…
June 8th, 2005.
Junior year is finally over and I couldn’t be happier. The classes I took this year were extremely demanding and I averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Although it’s been pretty tough on my body and mind, I’ve managed to pull through as the current salutatorian in my school. All that hard work for 2nd in the school; nice job me…
June 8th, 2005.
I made my debut in SS501 today. It was definitely an accomplishment for all of our members who all worked so hard for this moment. I pray that our success will continue well into the future…
August 21st, 2006.
I graduated at the top of my school. My class’ current valedictorian had moved in her senior year, which automatically meant everyone’s rank moved up. Although senior year was even more stressful than junior year, it was also a very fun last year with all of my friends. I didn’t go to prom, or any dances for that matter. It just wasn’t me. Plus, I could have done so much better with the money that would’ve had to go into buying a dress, getting hair and makeup done, or organising a ride for the night. Bleh, too much work and stress.
I was accepted into UCI’s School of Engineering and I will be studying computer science engineering. Such a nerd right? I’ve learnt to embrace it instead of shun it. Let’s face it: everyone will end up working for a nerd one day and then we’ll see who’s pointing fingers and laughing.
I have not been able to contact Young Saeng lately. Since becoming an idol, his phone number and contact details have changed. Unfortunately, he did not update me when he did so and my number has also changed with the expiration of cell phone contracts. However, I have been following SS501’s activities and music.
I just wish he knew that I am one of his fans supporting him…
August 21st, 2006.
Kyu Jong took over my place at “SS501’s Youngstreet”, which I’m highly thankful for. My throat condition has not been good for the group. I pray that this surgery will go well and I will be able to promote with my members once again…
November 10th, 2006.
I love the atmosphere of college. It’s so much better than high school. Everyone here is great and I’ve met several Koreans in my classes that I’ve connected well with. My roommate is Korean too, but she’s born and raised here. She talks a lot, but she’s very funny and her stories about her and her boyfriend are good entertainment. There are another two girls next door to us and I have classes with one of them. Our other next door is occupied by two Korean guys whom I also have classes with. I’ve been getting particularly close to Deon who is majoring in computer science engineering too. Our three rooms are close and we all hang out often. Since college, I’ve started accepting California as my sort of “second” home…
November 10th, 2006.
Our first album was released today. The group spent much time and effort into the recording of “S.T.01 Now” and I can’t wait to see the reaction from fans. We’re busy with promotions and performances on music shows and everything. It’s been hard to get proper rest because of practice and schedules but I know this is the life of an idol. And because of the support of our fans, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world…
March 8th, 2008.
So I think I’m the only single person left in our little group. The girl next door who I have classes with has a boyfriend at another college just like my roommate. And her roommate is dating Deon’s roommate. Deon is also seeing someone now.
Ahh shame; he’s such a cutie too…
March 8th, 2008.
Our second album “Déjà vu” was released today. The group’s popularity is increasing but there is always room for improvement. I’m excited for the concerts we’ll be having around Asia. I’m sure all of us are actually. It’ll be great to have the company of my members when going overseas.
Still, I miss the certain company of some…
November 21st, 2008.
Into my third year of college and I can feel myself at the halfway point. It makes me wonder what life is going to be like when I have a degree and (hopefully) a career. The real world can seem like a scary place sometimes. However, I’m excited to be able to be my own person and start a “new life” in a sense.
My friends keep bugging me about getting a boyfriend. I swear they’re all scheming together during the depths of night. They always try to point out any random who walks by, saying things like, “Ooh~ He looks like he’d be interesting to date” or “Come on, he’s totally checking you out” when in reality they don’t look interesting or they’re simply glancing in our group’s direction and then never looking back.
The hazards of being a 9th wheel…
November 21st, 2008.
Since Hyun Joong hyung and Jung Min have solo activities, Kyu Jong, Hyung Jun and I collaborated as a sub unit of SS501 for “U R Man”. It feels a bit strange to be appointed as leader but we will do well in our promotions.
“I’m your man, maybe in the dreams, you will smile and rejoice / Maybe coming to find me again, I’m your man”…
May 24th, 2010.
I just had my 22nd birthday yesterday. I didn’t want to do anything big because I’m not into that kind of stuff, and plus, I’d rather splurge on something more for my graduation (which is very soon!). So it was just my group chilling at the beach after dinner. While everyone else wanted to play in the water, Deon and I stayed behind sitting with everyone’s shoes. We sat next to each other and just talked about random things. He told me about his break-up with his girlfriend because he had never given me the full details earlier on in the year when they had broken up. Of course I felt bad hearing his story, but he said that the break-up was mutual so at least there weren’t any painful one-sided loves involved.
Our heads were fairly close because he didn’t want the neighbouring randoms around us to hear him too. I kept nodding so that he would know I was still paying attention and not falling asleep or something as it was getting quite dark. When his story ended, he told me how he felt comfortable talking to me about these things because we had been friends for quite some time now. I smiled and said I agreed.
All of a sudden out of nowhere, a flash from a camera disrupted the darkness of the night and laughter from our friends followed. Turns out my roommate had snapped a picture of Deon and me sitting together. “Aww~ You two look like a couple!” she said as she held out her phone to show us the photo.
“Ha. Ha. Ha,” I joked. “Yah, delete.” When I turned I saw Deon with his head down, smiling.
“No way, this photo is prize-worthy,” she said as she snapped up her shoes. “Come on, let’s go now. Birthday girl is boring~ Hahahaha, jokes! YAH don’t chase me!” We ran around the beach like children while everyone else laughed at us as they put their shoes on.
Overall, it was a pretty good day…
May 24th, 2010.
Our popularity has increased since Hyun Joong hyung’s role in “Boys Over Flowers”. SS501 recently released “Destination” and we will be promoting our title track “Love Ya”. I hope our fans will enjoy our performances as our promotions won’t be long due to our upcoming contract expiry.
“Baby let me love ya love ya love ya”…
June 18th, 2010.
This weekend home stay with my parents was supposed to be great. We were supposed to go out to celebrate my graduation. We were supposed to go apartment hunting for me together. We were supposed to renovate the house’s kitchen together because omma and appa wanted something fresh and new.
Instead, it was nothing like it was supposed to be. My parents had gone out for a friend’s party one night. I came home that night after catching up with my friends to a police car in the driveway where my appa’s car usually parked. The gut feeling in my stomach I had been ignoring all day was churning again and each of my steps towards the officers standing outside of the car felt heavy.
“Melody Song?” the male officer asked.
“Yes…” I affirmed hesitantly. I didn’t like where this was going.
The male officer introduced himself as Officer Carter and his female partner as Officer Linden. I offered for them to come inside the house. When I unlocked the door, my parents were not home to greet me. I had a hunch at where all of this was going, but I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it. Even when they told me I should sit down and started asking me questions, I answered mechanically without really knowing what I was saying.
And then they broke the news. My parents had been involved in a car accident. On their way home from the party, a drunk driver crashed into their car. They were both rushed to the hospital but died of blood loss and organ failures.
Everything after that announcement was rather blurry, for I had been crying in both horror and disbelief. “H-hospital…” I choked out, which was my version of saying “I want to go to the hospital so I can see my parents” as I got out of my seat on shaky legs. Thankfully, the officers understood what I was trying to say. Officer Carter caught me before I fell to the ground.
“Let’s take her there,” he said to Officer Linden. “She’s in no stable condition to drive herself.” Together, the officers took me to their car and we drove off to the hospital my parents had been admitted to. When I saw them laying on beds aside each other next to the machines with a single horizontal line emitting constant frequency noises, I broke down and cried even more. My tears stained my appa’s bed sheets as my face rested on his bed as the waterworks commenced. The officers gave some information to the nurses about the situation as I had my alone time with my parents’ bodies. They didn’t let me stay for long as they had to test my appa’s body for any alcohol level in his system at the time of the accident. The nurses said I could come back tomorrow when I was more emotionally stable and then we could discuss what was to happen with my parents’ bodies.
The two officers took me away from the room and back into the police car to drive me home. My tears had subsided but any slight thought triggered them again. When I arrived home, they gave me their cards and said they would keep in touch as the investigation went on. I thanked them for taking me to the hospital and said goodnight.
When I went back inside, I trudged upstairs and headed straight for the bathroom. I fished out some makeup removing wipes from the drawer and roughly wiped away the leftover makeup on my face. I undid my hair and brushed my teeth. I didn’t bother to change into sleeping clothes or set an alarm for the next day like I usually did. I pulled my quilt up and hugged Daengie as I cried myself to sleep…
June 18th, 2010.
Something didn’t feel right today. I had no idea what it was, but it was just some weird feeling I kept having. It had nothing to do with the fact that our DSP contract expiry had been announced to the public. No matter how hard I tried to pinpoint the cause, I couldn’t.
The future seems unclear now, but I guess all I can do is wait and keep living my life…
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A/N: Haaaaay derrrre readers~! =D I'm back with another chapter, so let the explanation begin!
So as you guys are probably genius enough to realise, my story is primarily written in 3rd person POV with the main POV being Seon Yul (although I am considering throwing in chapter(s) with Saengie's POV). This chapter, however, is written in 1st person POV and it switches between Seon Yul and Young Saeng. I found this technique effective for this chapter because I'm really trying to get the story to move along at this point. I want to get into the "...Again" part of my title, and this was a good way for me to do so. So instead of skipping through YEARS of their lives, I let their thoughts tell the story plus include a major time lapse while I was at it.
I'd also like to explain myself for the lack of names of Seon Yul's roomies in college... ahem; I at naming people. LOL. Yeah, that's pretty much the reason hahas. Do pay attention to who DOES get named though (p.s. the naming of the officers was irrelevent and more convenient for me to do so instead of being like Officer DUDE and Officer CHICK persons, so that's not what I'm talking about).
As for all the people who've commented about Kyu Jong's role in the story, I'll take some time to answer here: I won't say much bc I don't want to spoil anything, but his role is upcoming and has nothing to do with "KyuSaeng" being in a relationship. I totally ship this couple, but for my story, it's NOT going in that direction haha. So don't misunderstand and think that it's going to be a Kyu x Saengie story bc it's NOT. So please be patient everyone! Kyu will make his appearance in due time~ x)
[On a personal note, I've gone through something recently (which I felt oh so obliged to explain in my first ever blog post), but it will NOT affect this story or my future updates. No school means more writing time so woooo~! \o/]
Thanks to everyone for their support in reading and subscribing to my story; I promise that this will be a great fanfic (at least, that's how it's looking in my mind hahaha xD).
- Melody~xoxo
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