[not edited properly]

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“Kai! What are you doing?! Put me down this instant!” Yookyung yelped.

“Just be patient, we’re almost there.”

“What do you mean ‘almost there’?! Where on earth are you taking me?!”

“Kim Jong-In! Answer me!” She pounded on his back with her fist. She flailed around for a few expectant minutes; but alas, her efforts were to no avail, as he had no intention of putting the girl down.

Once they had reached a secluded area, away from the eyes and ears of their peers, Kai gently placed Yookyung back onto her two feet, safely on the ground. Kai leaned against the wall and casually slipped his hands into his pockets. He looked towards the sky. No one said anything for a while. Kai knew that he should’ve pacified the situation, or at least provided a basis for his rash actions, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t make a sound. He waited… and waited for Yookyung to initiate the conversation.

“W-what’s going on?” She asked him hesitantly.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” He looked down at her and met her gaze, solemnly.

“What are you talking about, you brought me here. Did you not?”

“That’s true. I did bring you here.”

“So say something!” She cried out.

“I have nothing to say.” He replied dryly.

“Just spit it out, Kai. I’m in no mood to play games with you.”

“I told you. I have nothing to say, I think it’s you, it’s you who has something to say to me.”

“You know what? Forget it. I don’t even know why I’m still standing here trying to understand you.” Yookyung her heel and walked away. Kai could hear her mumbles under her breath.

“Stupid boy… kidnapping me… who does that… doesn’t even have anything to say…” Kai silently followed behind her and watched in amusement as she carried on talking to herself. He wondered when she’d stop, turn around and notice him. But that never happened. She just continued walking until she reached the empty parking lot and buried her head in her hands. She titled her head to the sky and took in a deep breath before emitting a deafening scream.

“Kim Jong-In!” She yelled towards nobody in particular.

“Who do you think you are?!” She continued.

“Who do you think you are?! Huh?!” Yookyung repeated.

“I think…” He stood behind her and began to murmur. Her body jolted at his voice for she believed she was alone the entire time. Yookyung slowly turned around. Kai felt as if time slowed down as her body revolved to face him. Her shoulders and her feet moved first, then her slender body and lastly, her hair whipped gracefully behind her, revealing a shaken expression.

“So you’re a stalker too… wonderful…” She scoffed but didn’t move.

“I think…” Kai began once more, much louder this time. He started walking towards her. Yookyung felt her feet shuffle backwards, tentatively.

“I think… I’m going crazy.” He breathed out heavily.

“What?” She squeaked as he neared.

“I think I’m going crazy... because of you.” He continued walking towards her.

“You’re-“

“Let me finish.” He cut her off, mid-sentence.

“O-okay” She couldn’t bring herself to pull away from his stare.

“You. You wanted me to say something right? Well listen to me and don’t interrupt me. Don’t say anything until I’m finished you hear?” Kai ordered, slightly roughly. Yookyung couldn’t do anything but nod. Kai could feel his body tremble as he closed in on her. He did his best to conceal his anxiety.

“Do you realise how messed up my mind has been since that afternoon Yookyung? Huh? I… we... kissed. We had something there and don’t tell me I was the only one who felt it, because I know you fell for me too. I’m not being arrogant. I know there’s something between us, don’t deny it." He paused to organise his thoughts before continuing. "...and why? Why did you avoid me? Hm? I was going insane. You think it’s normal for me to do something like that? To act the way I did?” Yookyung could feel his hot breath float over the surface of her skin as he pressed his forehead against hers.

“Yeah. I do.” She tried to maintain her poker face.

“What?” The single word escaped Kai’s lips, the lips that were only a few centimetres away from hers.

“I do think it’s something you do, or something you have done, more than once – if not multiple times.” She regained her composure and spoke up. The words left a little harsher than she intended. But she wasn’t going to back down.

“You think I don’t know? I’m not stupid Kai. I may have little life experience but I’m not an idiot. You expect me to trust you, to open up, and for some bizarre reason I do, or at least, I did. I opened up to you; I was being myself, or whatever. Even so, I’m scared Kai. I’m scared of trusting you. In fact, I can’t trust you. Naeun thinks I don’t notice it, but I do. I’ve seen you around school Kai; I’ve seen how you act when I’m not around. You say you like me. You act like you like me. Yet once I turn my back, you talk to other girls like you do with me, you flirt with them, play with them even… as if I don’t exist.” Her voice softened towards the end of her rant. Kai didn’t know how to respond to her words, and when he did, he mentally slapped himself. For what came out of his mouth was nothing but a reflex. An extremely stupid reflex.

“Are you… are you… jealous?” The words rolled off the end of his tongue fluently, too fluently. Yookyung turned her back on him without a sound. She had had enough. She couldn’t believe what she had heard. She had expected an apology, even if it was insincere; at least it was an apology. However, she wasn’t prepared for the worst. And the worst… was what she got.

She could feel her chest tighten as she ran, and ran, and ran away… from everything. She clutched her shirt and crouched down on the floor, she sobbed heavily and let the tears spill from her eyes. She found it difficult to breathe. She wrapped her hand around in protest as she gripped onto the wall, trying to prevent her cries from being heard. Then it hit her. Who was she to cry? Who was she to feel pain? She was Hong Yookyung. She realised that she felt comfort from being who she was. Sure, being who she was meant that life was boring, that life was pointless but at least she didn’t get hurt. She realised that she was her own biggest threat. And that if she wasn’t careful, she would be the reason for her own downfall. She couldn’t let futile emotions affect her and who she was. She told herself that she was Hong Yookyung. She told herself that she’d survived the past seventeen years without feeling emotion and because of that, she could survive another fifty. She told herself, over and over again, that Kai was worthless; that expressing emotion was meaningless. Sure, happiness was bliss, but it came with a price. A price she couldn’t afford to pay. She told herself that she was content; she told herself that it was better to experience nothing at all than to potentially endure mental suffering. She repeated this to herself for the rest of the night. She strolled into her room as if nothing was wrong; she told Naeun that as soon as Kai put her down, she walked away. She acted as if nothing significant had occurred. Naeun, although doubtful, was satisfied.

As Yookyung lay in bed, she reminded herself to stay strong, to go back to being her old self, revert back to her old ways; yet she couldn’t help but feel a little tug at her heartstrings. She couldn’t help but feel a slight tinge of regret. She knew she was going to miss Kai’s company, Kai’s embrace, though at the same time, she knew she could get over it. It was something she’d just have to accept and let go. Yookyung could do all of these things, easily in fact. However, it wasn’t a matter of if she could or couldn’t. It was a matter of if she wanted to or not. It was the first time she had a choice for such a large matter; she had a choice, and she didn’t like it. She wished her parents were around to treat her like a machine. She didn’t think it was possible, however, she missed those restrictions. She missed those unspoken rules. Nevertheless, she still had a choice. Though the question remained the same, was she going to take it? She was restless that night and unfortunately, her personal demand for an immediate decision was taking a toll on her wellbeing. If only she could see what was going on in Kai’s head. If only she knew what he was thinking…

Little did she know that the thoughts circulating in his mind, were far worse than her own.

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I don't know if this chapter makes sense or not... I really hope it does... I'm sorry for the lousy vocabulary but it's like 3am and I'm too tired to think straight hahah. I had this idea and I figured I'd forget it after waking up, so I had to update as soon as possible.

@lilschein & @YookyungKai: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your continuous support! You guys have been with me the whole way through and it means so much to me. You have no idea.

@carolectric98: Haha I guess you'll just have to wait and see :3

@mygirlz123wf: Thank you! I hope this update is suffice!

@Aweshume_Inspirit: I know right! The girl doesn't get enough attention... or fanfics for the matter :p Judging by your name and liking for apink, I'm guessing you're an pinkfinite? Haha that's cool if you aren't, I do support the mangwondon family though.