This is short but i spent a very very long time on it.  The first part (2019) is written in first person without the reader knowing who is talking.  I think you can figure it out but i'm not saying anything yet.  Keep on guessing~~~  And thx my dear cousin for helping me and giving me ideas with the first part!!!

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2019

It shouldn't hurt like this.

Actually, it shouldn't be hurting at all.  At least that's what I tell myself at night when everything comes crashing down on me.   My head isn’t a pretty place to be in at night.

It's a horrible, horrible place filled with thoughts of inadequacy merging with sinful dreams, and I find myself drowning in a sea of twisted aspiration.  My only hope is the devils that leer with hunger at my broken body.  I pray that they find their claws digging into my body so an end can be put to this nightmare. 

But no amount of praying can lift this burden off my chest.  It's a heavy cross that I have to carry everyday, and I don't know how much longer I can keep moving.  Sure, I scraped my knees from the times I fell, but I managed to get up every single time on my own.  It's a whole different story now because this cross just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and I have borne it for so long that I don't know what freedom feels like.

What's worse is that the wreath I wear on my head now digs itself into me, the blood that trickles from my head have stained my face and I can't bear the thoughts anymore.  A part of me wants to bear this cross alone but another part, a smaller but deadlier part of me wants to throw it in the crowd and let the world know who I really am.

I want the world to know that the girl in the mirror with the empty eyes is a monster and she repulses me.  Why?  Because she had hurt the one person that has always been there for her.

And I get it now, I really do. But I also get that it's too late.

I missed my chance.

2007

Have you ever look at someone and just know that whatever may happens in the future, they have your heart?  That no matter how much you try to fight them to get it back, it’s gone, that heart that you so carefully guard now belongs to someone else and make it or break it is no longer your call. 

There’s something like that, something call us.  That’s what Amber feel when she first saw Krystal.  The beautiful face with long, black, silky hair cascading down, framing her innocent yet determine face.  To Amber, she never saw anything so stunning.

When Krystal bluntly said Amber Korean , Amber, without thinking, talk back.  Perhaps that was an unconscious response from the heart as it tried to protect itself.  Perhaps if Amber starts the game, the even if Krystal has her heart, it’ll still be safe.

Yes, that’s right, in the moment, Amber’s heart jump out of her and into Krystal.  Now, Amber has a heart, it’s just not hers to give.  Only time will tell whether Amber’s heart is safe or not.

It been a couple of days since Amber had arrived and she hasn’t done anything yet.  After the first meeting with the artists, Amber got call into Lee Soo Man’s office for a debriefing.  Amber is to dorm with Sulli until she get put in a group.  For the first week, she gets to explore and do whatever she wants but after that, the practice and training starts.

Dorming with Sulli is interesting as she insist on calling her ‘hyung’.  Being with her does have a plus side as Amber found out Sulli and Krystal are best friends and they always hang out together.  Since Sulli really likes Amber, she always drags her everywhere, including to meet Krystal.  It was during this first week that Sulli found out about Amber’s major crush on Krystal and insists on helping Amber get her girl. 

It was thanks to Sulli that their relationship grew…perhaps Sulli will continue to be the bridge that will get them back to each other.

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I think this is the best thing I've ever written.  Sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes.  Feedbacks and comments are always welcome.  And to those that comments and subcribe, THANK YOU!