Hellooo there, me is Seungyeon (or, you can call me Hammie). Eventhough people usualIy consider me as ‘the cutest’ in Kara but I actually 'the second commander'.  So now, here is my POV! Ehm…ehmm…

This is nice, tonight at second week of May 2010 when Gyuri eonni and me are idle. I decided going to her room then we can have simple talks. A cheerful girl talk.

Our conversation has no particular themes ; recalcitrant pimples, perfect medicine for it (salve/lotion?), our favorite sleeping wardrobes, favorite malls, about other member ‘Hara, Nicori and Jiyoung’ (“Do you know, yesterday night Nic and Jing chatted by net messenger with Sungmin-shi, Donghae-shi and 2PM’s Chansung-shi. Can you believe it?” Eonni inclines her shoulder at me, gazing with her jest eyes.”), about popular songs, then later…. it slowly changes, talking about ‘Men’ or boys.

But first, I need to start it layer by layer…. .

 “So, eonni….what’s like, having your own radio show? It’s been four days….must be a fun-working condition in there, rite? Come ‘on…tell me,” I tilt my head and remarking her with my sweetest smile.

Gyuri-eonni, resides onto a wooden chair, facing at the working table and her notebook on top of it. The computer is off. Whereas, me is taking a seat on her purple stool.

”Well…,” she flaps her right-side fringe hair, calmly crossing her legs, “It’s wonderful! My childhood dream becomes real. The PD and crews are superb. Shindong-shi assists me a lot. And the listeners …….fantastic!” Glows are reflected in her eyes.

I clap my hands and exclaim, “Ouw eonniiiii, I’m glad for you!" I cease. Getting a slightly dither. "And then.....ngg......"

She waits. A readiness. Anticipating for my next question.

"Then, have you told him, about your new job?" I gaze jaunty at her with my cheeky smile.

On this February, eonni shared me the story about this special guy-friend of hers. I must confess, there is a small jealousy emerged that time. But heyy, it’s normal to be jealous. I’m a fan girl of him and his group. Not more than that. Honest!

 "Aaahh.....," blushed face is now she has. A failure of anticipation. Who won’t be? "Yes, I have.... I felt repentance b'coz the other day.... I didn’t tell him for RJ testing chance, so---"

"Oh yeah, that too. I want to know. Why? Thought Eunhyuk-shi sure can help you with some tips and tricks for the test?"

Yup, this ‘special guy friend’ of our Kara leader is Lee Eunhyuk. The dancing machine of SuJu, member of a very famous boy band group from our beloved country, South Korea, which coincidentally, also her working partner in Sukira. That was before Gyuri eonni and Jing were resigned from there…hmpp…

"Are you kidding? I couldn’t tell him. He's busy. His tight schedules, 4^th album preparation, bla.. bla..blaa…. I don't want to bug him. Moreover, the most important is I have to prove my self that I can do it by my own potential."

Hm....Just so typical of her, so Gyuri eonni. Full of confidence.

"But afterwards, as I'm positive to be appointed as Shindong-shi's new duet host in SSTP, ...umm.......I sms him... ," red color is spreading over her face. Undoubtly embarrasshed.

Hohoo….I remember that day. Her cellphone speaker was inactivated but Eunhyuk-shi’s ebullience voice when congratulating Gyuri eonni, can be heard from three meters!

"Ehmm....eonni, I think Hara, Nic and Jing already’ve been ‘smelling something’ about this...your good-friendship with him. You notice….ngg…. things about you and Eunhyuk-shi already spread here and there. How if, they……," I chin and look at her with my curved-questioned eyes.

Gyuri eonni tugs. There’s a moment of silence.

Yet, realizing the situation, she gives up on fate. “Ohh blows..…," shrugs her shoulders and says, "Fine. If they suspect or...ask you anything, just do what you casual. While me, I'll do my notorious-random responses. Let them asking around, drown in curiosity mists.“ She grinds cunningly.

"I see…,” I nod, despite uncertain. Then I move, sitting upright and firming my voice. “Eonni, trust me. I keep our secret!”

“Nehh.... Thanks, Hammie. Everything’s under control," she addresses me comfort face. “Hyukk-shi is true my friend…..umm….~my good friend.… So, none’s to be afraid of.”

My heart smiles. It’s funny how she trembled when the words 'my good friend' were escaping from her lips.

Anyway, I know what she meant about showing those general responses ; flat smiles, numbly faces, fake laughs, ignores us to focus on other things, stares at us with her chilly eyes, etc. Name it! There is a bunch of creepy reactions. Bbrrrr….no one can beat her. She can be so scary sometimes.

She later inhales deeply and with her eyes bulged out, reaffirming, “But still. Seungyeon-ah, you have sworn---.”

“Yesss I know... It’s a highest rank of secrecy. My lips are closed and sealed,” I raise my right hand, signaling ‘swear code’ to reassuring her. Huhuuu…indeed Gyul-umma is now talking.

However, I do wonder…..if it’s true they’re ‘a good friend’, so what?? Nothing is wrong about that. I don’t think any problems if Nic, Hara and Jing could know how fine and close of a friendship they, Eunhyuk-shi and Gyuri eonni, have…..rite??

She exhales, “Good. Hope you mean it.” We both smile.

She continues waverly, “Listen, I forgot to tell you but….umm....a week ago, Hyukk-shi phoned me, to apologize. You know. Because they couldn’t grant our request for mentioning our names in the ‘Thank You’ part in Suju 4^th album cover….”

An image pictured on my face, clearly describing ; ‘OUR request? Whoaa, isn’t it your wish eonni. Not Jiyoung?’ which makes her cheeks are redden, again.

Gyuri eonni avoids my allusive sight. She gazes up, , “Ohh, his voice that time...was full of remorse. He said, the album cover is 87.6% under print-off process by the time our 'my request' was said to them. That’s why they couldn’t grant it. So, I said to him….it’s ok. We understand the situation.”

“Eunhyuk-shi is very sorry, ‘eh? How about Leeteuk-shi?” I question her. Seriously curious.

“Yes. He emailed us ; me and Jiyoung,” she sighs.

I shake my head and squeal. Leeteuk-shi, he is the SuJu leader…..why all he can do is only emailing?

By a remnant bashful smile, eonni talks again in day-dreaming tone, “Though I’ve only been RJ-ing in four days, Hyukk-shi already poured me advices and comments. But those were after he giving me criticism! Ughhh…..” She pouts yet with a beamed face.

Ahahahaaa……I chortle inside. Not just because of what he has done to her but also what she has reacted towards his. Aren’t they soo cuuteee??However...., “Ngg.…eonni, be careful….”

“I KNOW Hammie.…I get it. Gamsahamnida, my dear sweety dongsaeng,” Gyuri eonni looks at me with her determined simper.

We realize, he perhaps a really nice guy and....might be up something to Gyuri eonni. Yet, we can not waive those rumors, about girls who are being gossiped involved with him. Precautions is a priority, gals... .

Enough to the chat time tonight, I get up from the stool and we give peck at each other cheeks. I greets her good night, walking to her room door.

Outside, I was about to close it but then I shove the door wider, bluntly asking her, “Umm.....eonni, you never told me but please tell me...what’s your feeling, -EXACTLY-, about Bejeweled-oppa?" I put on a pleading face, pressing my giggles.

Instantly Gyuri eonni pulls up her black-white stripes headcraft from her hair, supposes to throw it at me, making me close the door in rush and run away, back to my own room while letting out my giggles, freely in there.

In my room, I stand leaning on the door and muse, become a celebrity is indeed not an easy job, requires....NO, demands a fulltime 24 hours job for the goal ; to entertain people and to make them happy. Furthermore, being a group of girlband like us is such a challenging one. People usually underestimate us by saying we only offer and sell our pretty looks and perfect figure, less singing, dancing, entertainment ability and intelectual skills. I beg you pardon?!! Ow pleaseee…. Hmpppp…..

Regarding our leader here, I must say.....Gyuri eonni is taking care of us all in a good grade. Sometimes, well....I envy to her beauty and witty talks, but c’mon…..who’s not? But she said herself that she admires my singing, dancing skill, cute-pretty and younger looks. Ehehehee...gomawoo, eonni....

Nowadays, through these hard and difficult times, I’m happy she gets a help. A back-up. Bunch of those, in truth.

One of our sunbae, Lee Eunhyuk-shi, gives her plenty of supports and energy. Certainly reenacting her to be an enthusiastic person…..over and over.

I know, there's also other people who can and always help us ; managers, parents, siblings, we 'Kara's member', friends, relatives, fans, crews, etc. But from my point of view, it's him who can make her smiling like that....those laughs....cheerful face.... Seems to me, because of him, those memories with her boyfriend in past relationship can finally fades away.

She’s ready to move on.

Nevertheless, the absurd thing is upon those facts….every time I ask Gyuri eonni about it, she only comments ; ‘Seungyeon-ah, me and Eunhyuk-shi…..we are a good friends who's enjoy helping and support each other. That’s all… ‘

Yeah, whatever you say, eonni….

I don’t get it. Why she keeps on to cover up her true feeling?

What is it anyway? Does she like him, has a 'crush on' him? Or, just being polite to him? Is she afraid or worry of something, scared? Or, it’s just her hesitancy?

By the way, although ‘their good friendship’ is true....I wait, until someday it continues and forms to something 'different'...with permeation of romantic elements in it...hehehee...

Feeling warms in my heart, making me want to hold my pillows and cuddle me up with blankets. Hoaeemm......so sleepy. I crawl onto my bed, lie down and close my eyes, wishing, hope someday I can have a special guy for my own.