Bad Behavior
Chapter Seven
Yongguk POV

I was getting in over my head with this kid. I had been a teacher for several years, and so I had all ranges of attitudes and situations presented to me. There were the people who loved to learn, the people who up; those two were easy to deal with. Then you got into the students who didn’t care, or the students who had hard home lives and brought their negativity into the classroom. Then there were Junhong’s type.

It wasn’t those students that were bad, exactly, but instead the bad was done by the teacher. Classes moved on from year to year, and while you always had a few stragglers who would come to visit, you, as their instructor, were just a tool to help them move on in life. Sometimes, of course, teachers wondered about this student or that student in moments of fleeting nostalgia, but in the end every moment students and teachers spend together get pushed into the back of their minds to be dug up years later.

The problem with Junhong’s type is they wore their hearts on their sleeves. I gave him some slack since he was still a kid, and wasn’t mature enough to know how to go about life keeping your business to yourself, but the problem still stood. When he was upset, it was obvious. When he was hiding something, it was obvious. When he dying on the inside, it was so damn obvious. It was that obvious raw emotion that would be the end of me.

I didn’t need to protect him. I was just his tutor. Himchan’s warning replayed in my mind all throughout that day when things changed between us. I wasn’t Junhong’s brother, or his father, and the things I had done were the responsibility of a man of relation, not of obligation. He had Jongup to take care of him, and he was learning to be a man, but still, I couldn’t help my sympathetic nature.

But, I had taken things too far. I was realized this when he admitted his uality to me. I couldn’t just stay quiet, I knew, but I couldn’t really say anything either. There was a very fine line that teachers musn’t ever cross, and I was treading dangerously close. I knew too much about his personal life for my own comfort level, and that line seemed to be as good as dirt to this boy who was opening up to me more and more.

I was stuck. It was obvious that he had some trouble with his parents and couldn’t open up to them, but I was practically a stranger. I had blindly allowed him into my home and given him reason to believe that we were on a casual level when we couldn’t be. I could only imagine the lecture Himchan would have given me. Even worse than that, I could only imagine what Jieun would say if this kid starting spurting off this and that about me. I had to start pulling away from him, but I had no idea how.

I had a problem with people. I had often been referred to as a push-over teacher. I cut slack on deadlines if the reason was good, and I had even paid for students to take necessary tests before. Jieun had always said that it was my heart of gold that made it hard for us to pay the bills at the end of the month, but at the same time she had respected that part of me. So, seeing a kid going through trouble put me in an awful place. I was stuck between a rock and a ia charge.

I wasn’t interested in Junhong in anyway, but Himchan had already made it clear to me that it looked that way. If anything he was like a bratty little brother to me. I foresaw nothing but trouble in the future, but still I ran my mouth, protecting him from bullies and praising him for his uality. Red flags were popping up left and right, but I pushed these thoughts away and tried to continue easily. Maybe, I thought, I’m just worrying too much.

When we got back, Himchan was already waiting on the porch, looking impatient as Jongup told him a story with bright eyes. Himchan’s cat like eyes snapped to us right away, and I switched off the car. I was about to climb out when Junhong finally spoke up again. “Thanks...” he said quietly. There was something about that word, coming from a kid who had started out being such a brat that made me smile my wide gummy smile. My chest swelled with pride, both for myself, and for him. He had come far in just a few short weeks.

Himchan’s ever investigative personality was at play, I could tell, as he narrowed his eyes at us. “I just said the truth. About all of it,” I replied, brushing off his gratitude with a smile. We hopped out and Himchan was off the porch in an instant, descending the little steps and meeting us almost instantly with his long legs.

“What took you guys so long?” Himchan asked suspiciously. Junhong was watching him closely, maybe trying to decide if I had been telling the truth about him or not. Himchan was a confident man. He had known his uality since he was a kid, and he had never tried to hide it from the public, but he did hide it from his parents. Even now, when we were both nearing our thirties he hadn’t found the words to tell them.

“Those kids talk too much,” I said with a shrug. I tossed him the keys which he caught wearing a skeptical face. Jongup jogged down the stairs to greet us with afternoon snacks galore. I smiled at him, taking a treat for myself as Junhong took another. Himchan decided to hold his tongue, for which I was grateful, but his narrowed eyes made it quite clear that I’d be getting an earful later.

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Himchan!” Jongup called after him as he excused himself to get ready for his date. I waved to him and he started off. I’d see him in a few hours, so I decided to enjoy the calm of the moment, though fleeting as it would be. We went into the house and resumed lessons as if nothing had happened after I called in to get Junhong’s assignments faxed over.

The topic of uality didn’t come up again, but I could tell that he was uncomfortable. I didn’t dare mention it myself, and he seemed scared to death of the fact that he had actually said it to someone; to me, no less. I just ignored it and hoped that the problem would somehow magically dissolve, like I so often did.

When Junhong’s mother returned she seemed tired, barely offering a nod to me. I didn’t question it too much, considering I was lucky to still have the job there in the first place. “I’ll have the money wired into your account later tonight, I have some things to do tonight, so if you could just go home.” I nodded, smiling and happily accepting that. I bowed to her and thanked her and took my leave. Junhong watched me as I went, with these big eyes that were filled with hidden feelings of this and that.

As I slipped on my shoes, I heard Mrs. Choi call Jongup into the office, and an uneasy silence filled the house.

Ignoring this too, I headed home, calling a cab. Himchan was already there by the time I got back, his car unmistakable in the parking lot. He had been the one to help me move what little belongings I had decided to keep, and he had a copy of my keys as well. He came and went as he pleased, usually not even bothering to call, but best friends didn’t require that after a certain point.

Shouldering open the door that sometimes stuck, Himchan greeted me with a slightly burnt meal he had prepared. Though Himchan would spend hundreds of dollars on socks, or a new tie, he was a cheapskate in other respects. He had to look his best, and everything he showed to other people had to be the latest trend, but he refused to eat out unless he absolutely had to, and he was frugal in every respect he could be.  

“How’d the date go?” I asked, tossing my bag beside his briefcase and shuffling out of my shoes. He replied with a groan and a glare, loosening his tie as he fell into one of my chair.

“She was so bubbly I think that she had her dimples permanently indented or something,” he complained. We didn’t need to greet each other, since I had already known that he would be here. He always came right after his dates.

Kim Himchan’s wasn’t a rags-to-riches story by any mean. He had always been loaded, and so his family were appalled by the concept of their only son not marrying by the time he was thirty. They only had two years to find him a wife before he hit the point of no return, and so he was going on blind dates every week.

“You should just get yourself a boy-toy for the side, and maybe then it wouldn’t stress you out so much,” I suggested jokingly. He rolled his eyes, scarfing down the food that lacked flavor and had unnatural textures. Himchan was a genius, he was handsome, charismatic, and could win any argument--- But if there was one thing he couldn’t do, it was cooking.

“How do you know I don’t have one? Would you like to hear about my latest booty-call?”

We laughed at that and continued just like that, bantering back and forth. I about his relationships, but he was careful not to mention my own. He was good at stuff like that, unlike myself. Himchan always knew just what to say, and that’s why he was so good at his job.

It was nearing ten o’clock and were about have a drink together when there was a frantic knocking on the door. From the dissolution of our marriage, Jieun had emerged with the house, with the car, and with most of the friends. I had no idea who would have been calling me up this late at night, but Himchan, who was innately curious took my glass away and shoved me toward the door.

That’s when things got messy.

I opened the door to a distraught and teary eyed Choi Junhong, standing there like a blubbering mess.

“Ju---”

“They fired Jongup.”

That was the only coherent thing he said before bursting into sobs. He rubbed at his eyes, embarrassed, I would assume, but continued to blather on about something I couldn’t make out. I exchanged a confused look with Himchan who held his glass to his lips, tilted, but not drinking, simply watching. Our night was about to take a stressful turn.

“Uh... Come in, calm down, I can’t understand you like this,” I offered with a sigh. Himchan gave me a glare, but I couldn’t just let the kid stand there and cry. Junhong entered immediately, not seeming to notice Himchan’s presence as he tried to explain again, stuttering out something I could at least make sense of.

“T-T-They said he doesn’t h-have any use anymore,” he wailed, throwing himself down into a chair. “T-They’re so full of ! T-They’re just hate me. They hate me!”

There was rarely any reasoning with a teenager in the first place, I knew that all too well. But I knew for a fact that there was NO reasoning with Junhong in his current state. I let him continue until his sobs became sniffles, offering nods where I could understand. It was then that he started to notice Himchan staring at him, now holding his glass on the table, drink still untouched.

“What’s he doing here?” he asked me, his voice finally starting to even out.

“I came to visit a friend,” Himchan answered for me, and I felt my stomach lurch. I could already tell this was going to take a bad turn.

“They can’t just fire him, right? He didn’t do anything wrong! Isn’t there a law about just firing someone?”

It was only then that I started to register the situation at hand. Jongup had been fired? I couldn’t believe that. He had seemed so happy to work each and every day, and Junhong made it quite clear that he was close to the family on top of that.

“Well, was there a contract in place? If I read that, I could tell you for sure.”

Junhong let out a groan, laying his head on the table. “Of course not! Jongup didn’t even care if we payed him! As long as he could pay his rent he was happy. He’s only twenty, and he had to drop out in middle school! What else is he going to do? How is he going to support himself?” Junhong was on the verge of tears again, and I patted his back, trying to keep him calm. Himchan scrunched up his face.

“Well, he should have stayed in school, and he wouldn’t have this problem. Though, I’m sure he can find a job doing labor work somewhere.”

Himchan wasn’t exactly a people-person, and sometimes could be a little insensitive. Junhong shot him a dirty look and turned to him. “There has to be something we can do, right?” he asked me. I opened my mouth, but was unable to reply. What could I say? I didn’t want to break the poor kid’s heart anymore, but Himchan’s eyes urged for me to say the truth; that we were completely helpless.

“Well, I’m sure there other people who need cooks...” I offered. Himchan’s eyes grew wide and he shook his head rapidly. Junhong, noticing me looking in his direction looked over, and Himchan stopped dear, offering a fake smile and giving me worried eyes. “He’s such a good cook and good looking too,” I continued.

“Can you excuse us?” he asked pulling me out of my seat, pulling me off to my bedroom, like it offered much privacy.

“What the hell are you doing?” he snapped, glaring at me.

“Please? I mean, he’ll find another job in no time. He really is good at what he does! Just give the kid some peace of mind, would you?” I whispered back, holding his shoulders as I begged him. He glowered down at me, hissing in reply, “I don’t want to hire some stupid kid to cook for me! I cook fine!”

“No you don’t! You know you don’t! You just don’t know what real food tastes like anymore,” I continued, pleading with my tone. He let out a heavy groan and shook his head sternly.

“Just look at the kid! You saw him earlier! What’s your ideal type? Toned, tan, and funny? He’s all of those! He’s like walking for a guy like you! You can just watch him cook or something!” I tried desperately. He smacked me for that one, and I guess I deserved it, but I continued. “He works out all the time, we talked about it. That kid is ripped! You like younger guys. Stop with the booty-calls and get yourself a boy-toy, and a good home-cooked meal! What could go wrong?” He punched me for that one, but he was cracking, I could tell.

“I hate you so much,” he said with a groan, and I knew I had won.

“You’re my best friend, I love you!” I hugged him tight and he shoved me off. When we came back, Junhong was grinning, so I’m sure he heard my exclamation. I nodded to him, to tell him it was true, and he was dialing Jongup in an instant and shoving the phone to Himchan who protested actively, but became an angel as soon as the line connected.

“Hello--- Moon Jongup? Ah, this is Kim Himchan, we met earlier, and I wanted to talk to you about employment...” he trailed off, glaring at me as he took the call in my bedroom. I smiled at Junhong who threw his arms around me, embracing me tight.

“Thank you so much, hyung... They really only fired him because they hate me! They said that he distracts me too much, and they were mad when they found out about the skateboard...” I could hardly hear him as I went rigid in his arms. It wasn’t the hug that bothered me, but the judgemental look I was sure Himchan would give us if he caught us. I patted his back once and swiftly pulled away.

“They just want to make sure you’re doing your best and feeling your best,” I said with a nod. “Now you should run home, it’s late. Do you need to me to call a taxi?” I asked, glancing back at him. His smile faltered, and he looked down.

“Actually, I was kinda hoping I could stay here... I said some stuff to my dad after Jongup left and he smacked me.” Suddenly he was shaking, and I knew I had said the wrong thing again. I hadn’t ever gotten the chance to be a father, and my own brother was older than me, and so estranged from me by that point I had nearly forgotten the feeling of brotherly affection. I wasn’t equipped to deal with Junhong and his teenage crisises by any stretch.

I heaved a sigh, and nodded. “You’re going to get me fired,” I pointed out, but he was smiling too big to even care what I had sad. He went to embrace me again but stopped, clearing his throat and offering his hand to me instead, in a ‘grown up’ gesture of thanks. I laughed at that, and his cheeks turned as pink as his bubble-gum hair. I shook his hand and Himchan returned, grumbling to himself.

“You owe me. You owe me so much,” Himchan growled, returning to the table and downing his drink in one go. He cast a wayward glance at Junhong, who still remained, and did not belong. He gave me a look that was meant to make me question my judgement, but Himchan was too late. I was already crazy, I had decided.

Little did I know that I had invited Junhong in and caused myself one of the most stressful nights of my whole life. Himchan nearly drowned in the bottle that night, and I had to remain sober to watch over the kid who was lounging on my couch. Himchan was a different drunk than me, he was happy and carefree, and spoke quite casually. I, on the other hand, became a hot mess, and racked with depression.

I soon noticed that Junhong seemed to dislike the drinking. He scrunched up his nose with each slam of the glass and table, crossing his arms a bit tighter to his body. Himchan went on and on about the dates he had this week and last, and I’m glad he didn’t mention my reasoning that I was sure had convinced him to  hire Jongup temporarily. I’m sure if he had, Junhong would have lost it and started a scene.

It wasn’t until the clock was turning midnight that things got messy again. Normally when Himchan stayed over we’d be drunk enough to just sleep in the same bed with no problem. I had known him since my diaper days, and we had made our share of blood pacts in childhood. It didn’t make me uncomfortable in the least to have him sleeping with me, but Junhong had different plans, as they both headed for the bedroom at the same time.

Hands hitting the door knob at the same time their eyes met, and suddenly there was a tension in the room. “Where do you think you’re going kiddo?” Himchan asked, incredibly eloquent despite the amount he had drank. “This isn’t the bathroom.”

Junhong shot a look to me, and I pretended to be picking up a bit of the mess that was around.

“I’m going to sleep. I have school in the morning, hyung,” he replied in a strained voice. Himchan laughed a little, and looked at me for back up as well. I looked elsewhere, hoping to avoid the cat fight that was about to ensue.

“The couch is over there,” Himchan told him, pointing.  Junhong wore a smirk, looking him up and down.

“My legs are too long, hyung. You’re pretty short, I think you’d fit better,” he replied smoothly. That was a pretty good one, and I found myself swallowing a chuckle, trying not to take either side. Himchan’s eyes narrowed and he scowled up at the skinny teen, who met his eyes with no fear, or respect. “Besides I’ve slept in his bed before,” he added, and I choked on air.

Himchan tossed his head in my direction in an instant, with his wide eyes and crazy expression that he sometimes got. I opened my mouth to explain, but he was already shouting at me, and boxing my ears. Junhong snicked and slipped into the bedroom, unnoticed, until I finally got Himchan calmed down. By that time, when we checked on him, he appeared to be sound asleep so we just sighed. Gathering up an extra blanket and stealing the pillow he wasn’t sleeping on, I took the floor beside the bed, and Himchan begrudgingly made himself at home on the couch.

I was exhausted from playing referee between their back handed comments about each other all night long, but having a sixteen year old sleeping just a few meters away made it impossible to sleep. Somehow, this wasn’t how I had anticipated spending my evening--- Or any evening for that matter. Junhong had come into my life a short month and a half before, and had unceremoniously shoved his way through any boundary I could have placed.

To Junhong there was no age barrier, and he talked to me however he wanted for the most part. To him, the fact that I was a teacher apparently mean nothing. He asked about things a kid, who was practically a stranger, shouldn’t have asked about.  The worst fault was my own, however, since I let him do it. This strange feeling within me stopped me from setting him straight, the strangest inkling to protect him, and take care of him.

To me, Junhong was a punk kid who got a harder lot in terms of social interactions than he deserved. Of course, he was spoiled, and grew up much more endowed than I had, but still, he had some way of making me feel sympathy for him. Deep down, a thought I had buried far below my surface, resided that said maybe I was clinging to Jieun in this boy.

He was her flesh and blood. And while he didn’t look much like her, and certainly didn’t act much like her, there were little similarities between her and him. They were little things, like the way they smiled with their eyes, and the way they held their sides when they laughed really hard. These were things that lots of people did, but they all reminded me of her. The worst part was when he was sad, and he wore this look of just pure and utter loneliness. It was the same face Jieun often wore, and the same look I had turned a blind eye too.

Maybe it was that. Maybe it was the guilt of getting it wrong the first time around that made me so resolute in helping this boy through whatever trouble crossed his path, despite my better judgement. I was going crazy, losing my mind, and the stressors piling higher and higher with each passing day.

“Are you asleep?” came a quiet voice. Junhong didn’t open his eyes, letting his long lashes kiss the apples of his cheek, looking truly like a child. I propped my head up on my arm, and sighed.

“You were faking?”

A smile broke out on his plump lips, now just shadows in the dark room. He chuckled a bit, and dug himself deep into the pillow, and yet again, I sighed. He was a devious little brat, that was for sure. He had tricked me, and he had tricked Himchan with ease, having us both wrapped around his slender little finger.

“I don’t know how much more I can take,” he said, ignoring the questions whom’s answer was obvious, “My parents, I mean. I feel like I’m drowning.” I didn’t know how to reply, so I just stayed quiet and he continued to talk.

“It’s every day now. All they do is fight. My dad hates me, and my mother loves who she likes to think I am, but who I really am isn’t good enough for her. They’ve been doing this for two years. If they were going to ‘figure things out’, wouldn’t they have done it by now?” I sighed, pulling myself up to sit, and Junhong remained eyes closed, looking like a cherub.

“Marriages are hard to understand. Even when you’re in them, it’s a game of give or take, and that can be a little much for some people,” I told him truthfully. He opened his eyes at that, and stared me down, seeming to be at a loss for words.

“Did you parents tell you that they love you?” he asked, his voice so tiny that it nearly got swallowed in the blackness of the room. It was my turn to lose my words, as I thought back to my childhood, one thing I tried not to do very often. I remembered the cold father, and mother who slept around. I remembered the brother, younger than me by only a few minutes, whom I had tried to shield from the evils of the world. I remembered giving up, and running away, leaving him alone with all that, and I remembered the tense meeting years later, when their eyes held nothing but contempt for me.

“Yes, of course they did,” I said, nodding. “All parents love their children, even if they aren’t the greatest at showing it.”

Junhong was quiet for a while, with such soft breathing I was certain he had fallen asleep. Just as I was about lay back down, he broke the melancholy silence. “They stopped saying it to me. They used to say it, but they stopped.” I felt my heart wrench in my chest, twisting up in sympathy for the poor kid who had to deal with this, on top of the raging hormones and the tough time he had at school. Of course, I had been handed a hard lot too, but I wouldn’t have wished that on anyone. “Does that mean that they stopped loving me?”

I pushed morals and social rules to the back of my mind, and I leaned on the edge of the mattress. I reached out and gently laid a hand on his cheek. His skin was smooth, and milky white in the darkness, and he looked up at me with big eyes, surrounding by thick lashes, reminding me of a porcelain dolls. For a split second, that seemed to last forever, our eyes met and I saw more than Junhong. I saw my little brother, and I saw Jieun, and bits of Himchan--- Everyone I had failed to comfort, and failed to protect, all wrapped up in the pretty package of Choi Junhong, and my judgement went out the window.

“Sometimes people who shouldn’t get married get married, and then sometimes, even worse than that, they have kids,” I told him, thinking of my own mother and father, with whom I had not spoken to in many years. “And those kids grow up with a lot of stress, but it’s not their fault. It’s never the child’s fault. They all grow up, and they all go somewhere. Some go to good places, and some repeat the cycle, but someday they all end up finding some way to be happy, I promise, Junhong.”

Even in the dark room, I could see his eyes gain shine as the glistened with tears. Hesitantly, very hesitantly, he reached up to hold my hand to his cheek, as if he was scared I’d pull away. In all honesty, I probably would have, with my mind and moral code clashing so extremely. I could feel my hands trembling, and my voice struggling to communicate the thoughts in my head. But, I think Junhong got the message, as he leaned into my touch, the soft touch of his lashes tickling my palm as he closed his eyes.

“Thank you.”

I felt like I should have said something more, but instead I just nodded, for fear that if I did speak, I would ruin the simplicity of this moment, the bliss in which the boy was basking. He seemed to have things piling up, just like myself, and so if he was enjoying the calm, I would not be the one to pull him out of that.

And so we sat like that for who knows how long. Maybe it was five minutes, maybe it was five hours, but even after he fell asleep there, I remained leaning on the mattress. At one point, sleep overtook me, and I slept, kneeling at his side, with regret at my heels.

There was a line, that teachers musn’t even cross, and it was a line I had avoided like the plague. But Junhong, this one simply boy with the candy colored hair, had not only drew me to that line, but had grabbed my hands and indignantly pulled me over it, plunging me into a point of no return.

A/N:: The next chapter is a bit of a filler chapter so it'll be short. vxv ;; Sorry about that! But I'll probably finish it today, on the upside!