Bad Behavior
Yongguk POV
Chapter Eleven

Choi Junhong was a boy unlike any other. I had always known that, but I wasn’t shown his true colors until that day. I knew that he was bright, but with a calm mind he effortlessly planned our escape. In a hurry we threw our clothes into bags, taking nothing more than what we could carry. He made me toss my cellphone and credit cards without a single thought. I wasn’t allowed to call Himchan, and he didn’t say a thing to Jongup.

He dragged me outside and toward one of the cars left in the garage. “What about your phone?” I asked curiously, voice hazy. He shook his head and hopped into the passenger seat.

“I gotta make a few calls. Go find some convenience store you’ve never been to, I’ll use the ATM,” he demanded. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I was taking orders from a sixteen-year-old whom I was essentially kidnapping and stealing a vehicle. I had always been a law abiding man, temper or not, and my best friend was a lawyer. Just how had I ended up here?

I glanced over to him as I pulled out into the streets. I was careful to go in the opposite direction from where I knew Jieun had gone. My eyes lingered on him as he dialed a number and stared out the window, and I knew. I couldn’t regret a thing when he was there with his big eyes and cheeks with their baby fat and big plump lips. He was a beautiful boy, almost angelic in features, and I adored him. I had tried and tried and tried to force him out of my heart, but it was too late; Choi Junhong had already planted a seed in there and it had taken root. He looked over to me, raising his eyebrows in confusion and I put my eyes back on the road.

“Hello?” I heard him say, “Shaun? ‘Sup man, it’s Zelo. Look, I need a little help.”

“I’m leaving with someone,” there was a pause, and he chuckled, “Yeah, it’s him. Yah, shut up! Are you going to help or not?” I was curious as to whom the boy was, and what he had said. My cheeks flushed to a light pink at the mention of me; an adult man being reduced to blushing like a child. “We’re going to go down South. To Busan I think, but they’re going to check my phone log. Tell ‘em we’re skipping to Jeju, or Japan, or whatever you want. Be creative! We need to switch out a ride too, is Armani still around?”

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw his face fall and he let out a side. “He finally offed himself, huh? Well, I guess he’s happier that way. Did you guys take his hair dye stash? Leave your door unlocked and we’ll stop by.”

The conversation ended shortly after that, and Junhong fell silent beside me. In some obscure street we found a gas station and he hopped out to run into the ATM. I watched him from the car as he took several withdrawls getting a strange look from the old lady at the counter. He bought a couple of sodas and left like he hadn’t just pulled a small fortune out of a machine simply because. He took out his phone and it in the dumpster and slipped back into the car. “Go the opposite way and circle around,” he commanded. I nodded and did exactly as he said.
This defied all logic. I didn’t know what I was doing with myself, but I just continued obeying him. “You seem to have this all planned out,” I pointed out at last. He laughed, downing half of a soda and putting the other in the cup holder for me.

“Well, I’ve always wanted to leave but I was scared to do it alone,” he admitted softly. “This way… I’m not alone. Making these plans became a hobby of mine, but I was never confident enough to carry it out.” My heart thumped in my chest just a bit harder than before. I couldn’t fight the smile, no matter how demented my actions at this time. I took his hand that rested on the center console. He whipped his head in my direction, surprised, but I just ran a thumb over his thin knuckles.

He gave me some directions and we ended up in a neighborhood even worse than mine and he dragged me up the stairs of some cheap apartment complex. “My friends live here, we’re going to give you a little make over,” he informed me, showing me the way to a small studio apartment. I raised an eyebrow and he rushed to the bathroom.

“Purple or blue?”

I blinked.

“What?”

He returned to the main room holding up boxes of hair dye. “I saw purple, let’s do purple,” he decided for me, grabbing my wrist and sitting me down on a toilet bowl. I gaped at him but he was already tearing open the box. “They’ll be looking for a blonde Korean man no problem right? But would you ever dye your hair purple in a million years?” I shook my head. “Exactly.”

Junhong was definitely one of a kind, but as I always did, I gave into his desires. I lowered my head and let him do his thing, spreading the colored goop into my follicles and wrapping it up in aluminum foil. “It’ll take like twenty minutes. We’ve got time to spare though, don’t we? They planned on being gone all day, right?” he spoke as he dug through the nearby medicine cabinet.

I nodded and he sat down in front of me. “I need a make over too,” he announced, passing an electric razor into my hands. I looked at him with wide eyes, completely surprised. That was just what he had counted on it would seem as a grin crossed his face. “You’d never dye your hair purple in the million years and I’d never get a buzz cut. But sacrifices must be made, right?” It was something small—just shaving his head—but I knew it meant a lot to him. He was serious about this. He didn’t want to be found. Junhong was completely prepared to leave behind everyone he had ever known for me.

I swallowed a lump in my throat at the sentiment, deciding that now probably wasn’t the best time to get all choked up. I pulled him to sit between my legs, resting my knees against his shoulders. I combed my fingers through his hair before switching on the razor. It came to life with a horrible buzz that made the poor boy cringe. Even so, he remained still and allowed me to cut away his pride and joy, lock by lock. Once it was all gone, we bagged up the hair to leave no trace and tossed it in the trash. He was certain that Shaun and Eric, whoever they were, would know what to do about it.

Junhong looked even younger without the hair framing his face. He looked like a first grader on stilts or something, and it was cute. We washed the dye out of my hair and tossed the box with the hair. Neither of us wanted to see our makeovers very much, so we opted for a hasty escape and avoided the bathroom mirror at all costs. We left the car there, and Junhong tossed his phone in the back seat. “We’re really doing this, huh?” I said (more to say something than for an answer). He nodded pulling up his hood.

“I guess we are. Are you okay with that?”

I hesitated in giving my answer. I really shouldn’t have been okay with the idea. I was doing something so crazy it blew all my other crazy things out of the water. I was running away from problems and creating an even bigger problem. Still, even when my mind tried to argue my body remembered the feeling of Junhong’s soft lips on mine and his thin arms around my chest. My heart leapt from the mere memory alone. That wasn’t something I could walk away from. I had no hopes of living a normal life because I accepted Himchan’s stupid idea to make me his tutor, so why not just start a new life?

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.”

Despite the fact that we were literally running away with each other, we didn’t talk much after that. We hiked our way through the bad neighborhood with our heads down. Everyone around these parts were deadbeats that didn’t care about anyone else unless they could mug them, so we didn’t fear being identified. We looked nothing like ourselves anyway. I was sure that soon Yongguk would start sounding weird to me, and Junhong would lose a few inches in height. I wondered if we’d introduce ourselves with our names, or what would happen if we were to be caught. As I walked beside him to the bus station my mind went wild.

We bought bus passes to Busan and my heart thumped in my chest. Jieun probably wasn’t even home yet, they probably were as carefree as could be, but even so, I was worried. I was paranoid that somehow these strangers knew what we were up to. It was as impossible as it was improbable but my mind wouldn’t let the idea rest. The worst thing we got was a few stares at my grape-colored hair as we took seats in the back. From there on, we had about five hours of bus time ahead of us, a fat wallet in his pocket, and a few outfits on our backs. Beside us, the older crowd probably thought we were brothers, or just old friends. They didn’t know our taboo.

And maybe that was for the best. It was certainly the only thing keeping me sane as the bus began to move. I had to convince myself that somehow, by some twist of fate that this crazy ploy would play out in our favor. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts at the time, trying to talk myself into a calmer mindset I didn’t even consider how Junhong must have been feeling. He wore a tough face like no other  kid his age, and was seemingly without a care in the world.

I didn’t notice the truth until much later.

The bus ride went without incident. No one questioned us, or even gave us more than a head turn. We didn’t speak much, since we were both sitting on pins and needles. My heart thumped the entire ride there, for nearly four and half hours, I never once dropped my guard. I went through periods of tensing muscle and grinding my teeth when my anxiety ran high, and I guess Junhong was a lot more observant than me, because at those times, he’d gently put his hand on my knee and give it a little squeeze. It was innocent enough that no one would think anything of it, but it meant so much more to the both of us.

I owed my insanity to Choi Junhong, but I also owed what scraps of it I had managed to salvage to him. He was the curse, but also the blessing; the poison and the antidote; the disease and the cure. He was everything I didn’t need and everything I wanted. The feelings that I had tried so hard to dilute were even stronger than before, intensified by his presence and our actions. I didn’t think about Himchan, or Jongup, or Jieun for a second during that bus ride, though I worried. It was like I was caught up in this bubble with borders so delicate that it was at risk of popping at any given time. But Junhong was in that bubble with me, and I couldn’t let him fall, so I held onto him tightly.

We reached Busan before the sun even went down. We asked for a cheap motel in the area, a run down one, one where they wouldn’t care who checked in. Sure enough, we found one in an older part of town, far away from the beach. There was a musty smell about the place and Junhong stayed close to me like he was scared of the walls themselves. We checked in without even being asked for our names, and went to our room with the numbers long since faded. There was one bed, which we didn’t mind one bit, with an ugly floral print bed spread with a cheap lamp nearby.

We exchanged looks and for the first time that day, we laughed.

“Still nicer than your old place,” he teased, tossing his bag in a chair the dusty desk.

“I think I liked it better when you were staying quiet~” I shot back, receiving a glare. We took turns in the shower, him first, and me after. For the first time I saw the purple hair which made me grimace. I wondered if I’d be stuck dying it purple forever, or what would happen after the money Junhong had took out ran out. I could get a job, I supposed, but we couldn’t live out of motels forever. Slowly, rational thoughts began to overcome me, but a soft knock pulled me back into the fantasy.

“Yeah?” I called, splashing water on my face.

“The sun went down... Want to get something to eat? There’s street food all over.”

When I opened the door I saw that Junhong had adopted one of my looser sweatshirts for his own and was fiddling with the sleeves. I glanced out of the window (which had a lovely view of a brick wall and a dumpster) and examined the sky. There were tiny lights, that almost looked like stars-- Things, you couldn’t see in a city like Seoul. Zipping up my jacket for him and getting pink cheeks in return, I nodded.

“Let’s go.”

There was an air of awkwardness between us. We had done it. We had admitted our feelings and fled all our problems but we didn’t know where we stood with each other.  Was I allowed to hold his hand? Should I have held his hand? Questions like that passed through my head as we carefully locked up our room. We kissed once, but did it mean we were supposed to kiss from now on? Were we dating? There were so many grey areas I couldn’t make sense of any of it.

“What do you want to eat?” Junhong asked, voice quiet, as he shuffled down the hallway with me. I shrugged, only coming to realize my starving stomach in that moment. He nodded and scratched his cheek and off we went.

Busan was a pretty place, and less crowded than Seoul. There were still lights and city feel, but it wasn’t so packed you couldn’t breathe. You could smell the sea, even from where we were, some many miles into the city blocks. Junhong lead the way and I walked a few steps behind. Nobody suspected a thing, or even cared that we existed. Overnight, we had disappeared, changed our appearances and started this life without any true rhyme or reason.

Choi Junhong was a boy I had known for about six months. He had gone from a pink haired brat to a boy desperate for my affection. One that I cared for deeply. One that I, by some strange twist of fate, had fallen for. “Is fried chicken okay?” he asked, looking at me over his shoulder. There was something about him in that moment, hair all cut away, chubby cheeks exposed, and illuminated by the street lights overhead, that made me lose my breath.

I noticed then that this boy, with the angelic face and bratty cover up was mine. He had given up everything too. His friends, his family, his fortune: All of it, just for me. I smiled, not responding right away. Closing the space between us, I hugged him tight in the middle of the sidewalk. Nobody cared too much and just went on their way, but I felt him tense up in my arms. “What’s this for...?” he asked, looking at me with a confused face. I only laughed.

“You looked cute.” Even in the dim lighting I could see his cheeks turn red and feel the heat radiating off his face.

I didn’t embarrass him anymore after that. We got fried chicken and walked down to the beach and ate it on a boardwalk. Sitting on a bench we took a moment to enjoy the silence. “They’ll report me missing tomorrow,” he pointed out absently. I nodded and a silence settled between us again. The crunch of food and the light breeze rustling through the nearby greenery were the only things to be heard.

“Throw that away,” he demanded all of the sudden. I glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised to see him looking at my hand. On my ring finger sat the wedding band I had already been stripped of once. He glared at it like it was something of poisonous origins and I hesitated. I wondered what must have been going through Jieun’s head. Himchan would know for certain I took Junhong and went, and his parents would surely be accusing me of kidnapping. If she loved me as much as she promised she still did, it must have been terrible defending me against her family.

For a moment I felt terribly sorry toward her. But Junhong’s big eyes met mine, eyebrows furrowed in an intense jealousy I had always ignored. He was the one I had chosen. The second engagement with Jieun had been all Himchan’s idea. He knew I could find Junhong in her, and he had plotted to make me forget the boy that now sat beside me. But Himchan hadn’t counted on my feelings being so vivid; hell, I hadn’t even anticipated that.

I placed my chicken in the little basket we had been given and I slipped the piece of jewelry off my finger. Junhong watched me carefully, as if trying to gauge my sincerity. I hadn’t expected him to trust me right away after the way I had hurt him, but still his expectant eyes made me nervous. I stood up, strolling over to the railing. I looked at the ring, the silver forged promise, one last time before I closed my fist tight. Drawing my arm back I threw it with all my might toward the ocean. It didn’t hit the water, but would surely be washed away with the higher tides.

Junhong almost looked surprised, like he had expected an argument. But my love for Jieun had already grown cold. The second time, I had simply been trying to find a focus. I was hoping that some how, she could turn back time, to the time before I had met Choi Junhong. But I had no such luck. Or perhaps it was that I had no such misfortune. Either way, I was with Junhong now, hours away from our problems in an unfamiliar city that didn’t care for its strangers.

“It feels like a dream,” Junhong admitted softly. He looked at his knees. “I feel like I’ll wake up and none of this will have happened; that I’ll be stuck at home again taking abuse from my mom and dad and you’ll be in someone else’s arms.” For the first time I noticed his shaking hands. Now that I thought back, they had been like that for a good portion of the day. Though he had been wearing a calm face, Junhong was scared on the inside, just like any child would be expected to be.

I crossed the boards which creaked a bit under my weight. Kneeling in front of him, I forced my way into his line of sight, making him see me. I took his shaky hands in mine and raised them to my lips. There were only a few late night joggers who passed us, all to caught up in their business to pay us any mind at all. I had never been the comforting type, but as he peered into my eyes for guidance that night, my heart felt at ease.

“Do you feel how warm my hands are? I’ve always been told my skin is warm,” I spoke softly, smiling down at our hands. “They’re warm because my heart pumps a lot of blood. But my heart beats faster with you, Junhong. Maybe it’s wrong, maybe I’m some freak, but that’s the god honest truth. My hands are only this warm with you.” His eyes became glossy with my words as his skinny fingers squeezed mine.

“I’ll be here tomorrow. And until this mess is over, I promise not to let you fall.”

Junhong was a kid. He could fall out of love with me as easily as he had fallen into it. With that, I would be left a kidnapper, who destroyed all my relationships for one young boy. But when I compared myself to those I had left behind, I wasn’t a drunk who beat my kids, I wasn’t someone who played yo-yo with others’ hearts, I wasn’t a product of my parents. I was happy. I loved Choi Junhong, and I was happy.

So, like he had done for me some many months ago, I raised his fingers to my lips to his bony knuckles. There were no bruises or cuts, no swollen glands or discoloration, but there were bruises on Junhong’s heart. He was a victim of emotional battery from all sides. I was a repeat offender, but unlike the others in his life, I was atoning for my mistake. Even if it meant the end of everything else, I was determined to take care of him, to save him and realize his heart like I could do with no one else.

Maybe I couldn’t kiss all the bruises on his heart. Maybe I couldn’t ever fix all the hurt that had been dealt to him. Maybe I was wasting my time and exhausting my heart, but as he looked at me that night, eyes wide and two glistening streams of tears rolling down his cheeks, I knew I had to try. Nothing could possibly be worse than turning my back to this boy who loved me so sincerely.

That night, I became a new man. I left my young and bright college self behind; I said goodbye to the workaholic professor I had become; I laid to rest the lonely drunkard left behind from a broken marriage. That night, for the first time in years, I felt like me. I owed that to Choi Junhong, along with all the insanity I had danced with for months.

“Don’t let me go,” he begged, voice cracking just a bit. I nodded, my own eyes becoming moist.

Choi Junhong was a boy unlike any other, and with that unique mind of his, I fell deeply in love.