Chapter 33

-things I didn’t do when you left-

As soon as we arrive in kyu’s room holding hyunnie with those cute smile which I know is because of min I open the door and saw siwon sitting beside kyu who looking at us when we arrive..

“oh!! Hyung!! You found hyunnie!!” siwon said as he run towards us and nod

I look at kyu as he look at us with a blank expression

“hyunnie!! Where have you been?? Your umma freaks out when he saw you’re not around” siwon said as he lower his body so he can level to hyunnie

“he was near the exit door.. he said he wants to think.. oldies right??” I said as I laugh at him as I sat on the sofa and just look at kyu who was still looking at hyunnie this time

“UMMAA!!” hyunnie whined as he pouted

“just joking baby” I said as I motioned him to come and he did as he jump and hug me

“someone is really happy right now” I said as I mess his hair and he noded

“why is that??” kyu said as finally he join us

“well.. this kid meet someone in that place where he decided to stay and said he want to take care of him” I said and hyunnie nod as he look like he was so strong

“a guy?” kyu said as he laugh

“ne appa! he’s cute and he’s so gentle!! Like umma!!” he said as he run towards kyu and sit beside him

“really??” kyu smiled at hyunnie and he nod

“well.. min is cuter than umma since he looks like a monkey” he said and I pouted

“yah! Yah! Hold it mr. cho kyuhyun!! I don’t look like a monkey!!” I said and pouted more as I walk towards the chair beside kyu’s bed

“umma!! You are!! Look at your face now” he said as he laugh and look at kyu

“monkey.. my monkey” kyu said and I stop laughing as I heard those words

I look at kyu who are busy laughing at hyunnie as they talk about me looking like a monkey..MY MONKEY.. it’s been a long time since I heard him saying those words.. and I miss him.. I didn’t notice that tears are forming in my eyes as I feel so happy hearing kyu say those words.. I wish I can hear him saying that everyday.. every single day..

“umma?” hyunnie called me as he look at me and saw my tears forming

“ne?” I said as I laugh brushing my tears away

Kyu and hyunnie look at me as I brush those tears..

“what?? Haha! I’m ok!! I’m just….happy” I said as kyu smiled at me

“aish!!! Umma your such a cry baby” hyunnie said as he jump out form the bed he was sitting and run towards siwon

“uncle palle! Let’s leave umma and appa alone” he said as he drag siwon out from the room

“that kid is so matured” kyu said as he settled his body in a comfortable position

“ne.. he was always like that.. usually he was the one who protects me” I laugh as I remember how hyunnie will be the one protects me when someone was hurting me emotionally..

“kyu..” I called him and he look at me and smiled

“are you ok?” I ask again as I witness the pain in his face a while ago

“ne.. sorry about a while ago.. I didn’t expect that it will attack me” he said as he laugh

“don’t laugh.. it’s so fake” I said as I know he was just faking it so that I don’t feel comfortable in the situation we are into

He immediately show his blank face as he nod and sigh

“why did you showed up??” he ask as he look at me and I was shock to the question

“since I want to see you.. you lied to me babo!!” I said as I glared at him

“I know.. didn’t you think it was good for the both of us not to see each other??” he said as he look away

Tears fall in my eyes as pain hit my heart on those words.. how come he can say those words?? How come he can decide everything and telling me what is good for me?!

“do you think?” I said as I cried

“yes” he answered not looking at me

It really hurt me a lot saying those thing to me with those cold tone he has..

“HOW COME YOU CAN SAY THOSE WORDS?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY FEELINGS?! HOW COME YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME?! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!!! YOU DON’T!! EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS A MESS!! YOU THINK I LIKE THIS!! NO!! EVER SINCE YOU LEFT ME I WAS A MESS!! I NEVER SMILE.. I NEVER CARE ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT HYUNNIE!! HYUNNIE.. HE MISSES YOU A LOT!! EVEN THOUGH HE DON’T KNOW YOU HE MISSES YOU ASKING IF WHEN IS THE TIME HE CAN SEE YOU!! BUT LOOK AT YOU!! TELLING ME THAT IT’S GOOD FOR US NOT TO SEE YOU!! DID YOU KNOW IT HURTS ME A LOT HEARING THOSE WORDS COMING ON YOU.. DID YOU….” I said as I collapse in the floor and cried my heart out not finishing my words as I put my hands on my face and cried

“it hurts kyu.. it hurts..” I whispered as I feel a hand pulling and a minute after kyu was hugging me

“mianhe” he whispered as I can feel his face in my neck

“I became selfish..” he said as hot tears are flowing in my neck which I know it came from kyu

As I cried I put my hands on his back and hug him

I really want to do this since the first thing I saw him here.. I want to hug him and feel that he loves me.. that he still care for me.. that he’s mine..

“I love you hyukie” he said as he cried

“nadoo.. saranghae” I answered as I look at him and kiss him

He kiss me passionately full of love and protection.. as he was holding my arms and kiss me saying that he loves me and that love never leave his heart.. that I’m the one he only wants in his life and he’s happy for that..

I ended the kiss as he lean his forehead on mine and he smile then laugh a little..

“it didn’t came into my mind…that you will be here” he whispered and I smiled

I cupped his face and brush his tears using my thumb and kiss him on the forehead

“well.. I’m here deal with it” I said and he nod

We both laugh and I helped him settle on his bed again as I hold his hands and look at him as I saw he was looking at me too

“you didn’t change after all” he said and I blushed on it

“I do change!!” I said as I lowered my head as I heard him laugh

“your still the same old hyukie.. my monkey.. my angel.. you are still the cry baby and the caring person I ever met.. the person who makes me smile and makes my heart stops when I see you crying.. the person who has the most precious smile I ever saw” he said and kiss my hand

“hyukie.. forgive me for not telling you the truth.. I know I became selfish but I thought it was for your own good.. that I will be a burden to you if you knew my condition.. but I guess it was the worst thing I ever done” I said as he was looking at him and I look up to see his eyes

“just.. let me take care of you kyu.. promise that you will tell me everything from now on” I said as he nod and smile

“and don’t think things that is so bull kyu.. you can hurt me a lot” I added and he just laugh as I pouted

“ne.. promise” he said and I gestured a pinky promise and he gladly accepted it

“promise?” I said

“promise!! I love you hyukie.. I always do” he said and I smiled

“I love too kyu” I said back and I hug him

“hyukie.. how was you and siwon hyung??” kyu push me away from our hug and look at me glaring

“eh?? It’s ok.. since the day you left he was always in my side” I answered and he pouted

“that brother of mine.. he really accepted what I said..” he said as he sigh

“that’s your fault.. you idiot!!” I said as I punch him lightly and he laugh

“well.. I know you will reject him after all..” he laugh and I laugh at what he said

I miss this.. laughing our heart out.. laughing with kyu as we talk about stuff.. everything was in order now.. the only thing we need to do is to make kyu surpass the illness.. I want to live my life with him longer.. I want to be with him.. to make him alugh and to make him the mmost precious person in ym life.. to prove I love him so much.. to let him see hyunnie growing up.. having his own love life and stuff..

“umma and appa is ok now” some whispered and I look at kyu as we was still laughing and pointing in the door

I saw two heads.. hyunnie and….min?

So he left just because he want to see min?? aww!! I thought he want his appa and umma to talk but looks like he do that so he can to min and see him.. this kids!!

“you two out!!” I yelled as I pouted and I hear hyunnie laugh and grab min’s hand and shove him inside

“umma!! Don’t scare my bunny!!” he said as he laugh and hug min and gain a blush on the little kid

“is he the kid he was talking about??” kyu whispered and I look at him and nod

I grab kyu’s hand and I smiled at him and look at the two kids in front of me

“why are you here??” I said as I look at hyunnie and I saw him grin

“waah!! I look like that when I grin!!” kyu shouted and pointed hyunnie

I glare at him which makes kyu zip his mouth and peck on those lips as I smiled

“better” I said to him

“umma!! PDA!!” he said as he put his little hands on min’s eyes to prevent him to see what I did

Me and kyu laugh at our son’s gesture as he was so protective to that kid..

“so.. hyunnie mind to introduce him?” kyu said as he smield at the two kids and hyunnie nod

“appa.. this is min.. lee sungmin.. he’s my boyfriend” hyunnie said as he smiled at min

“eh?! Yah!! Hyunnie-ah!! When did I became your boyfriend?! And call me hyung!! I’m older than you!! And… and… we’re too young for that..” he sid as he blush on what hyunnie told him

“rejected” kyu said as he laugh and I hit him and pointed hyunnie using my lips

He look at hyunnie which has a tears in his eyes and soon he was wailing and I run towards him as I patted his little back and sooth him to calm down..

“hyunnie-ah.. mianhe.. it was just we’re too young..” min pouted and I sat back on the chair beside kyu.. we are like watching a show here.. haha!!

Hyunnie calm down and glared at min..

“sorry to say this but whatever happen you’re my boyfriend.. and soon you will became my wife!!” he said as he glared at min who was scared at him

“hyunnie-ah..” min whispered and lowered his head

He must be thinking.. I look at kyu who was so amused at hyunnie right now..

“he was like you when it comes to love” I whispered at him

He look at him and I smiled as he blush on it

“min?” hyunnie said as he waved his little hands in min since min was so quiet for a long time

“I need to go back” he said and run away but before close the door he look at hyunnie and smiled

“I’ll try to be your best lover ne?” he said and run away

He was maybe shy that’s why he acted that way and we both look at hyunnie who was staring in the door frozen

“hyunnie..” kyu yelled but he was still in that position must be shock on what min said

Kyu get a piece of pillow and throw it to hyunnie which make hyunnie back into reality as it hit his head

“appa!!” he said as he glared at kyu

“we are calling you” kyu said as he laugh

I was shock at kyu’s gesture but laugh at what he did and hyunnie run towards the bed and jump on it facing kyu and me..

“appa.. did you see it?? Did you see it?? He’s cute right?? Cuter than umma!!” hyunnie said as he grin at kyu which gain a laugh from him

“baby.. yes he is but for appa your umma is the most beautiful thing in the world which is I know the same thing with you and min” kyu said and I blush at what he said

“I want to protect him” hyunnie whispered and we both look at each other then look at our son

“you can baby.. jut always be with him” I said and he look at me with those wide smile

“really??” he said and I nod so did kyu

“by the way.. why is he here??” kyu ask and I was curious too since he was not wearing a attire like us.. like visitors

“he was like you appa.. he lives here.. he has an illness too” hyunnie said as we can see the sadness on his face

Kyu look at me and I feel bad for my baby.. we have the same faith.. loving a person who has an illness..

“hyunnie baby.. don’t be sad.. everyone here will be ok soon.. they will be cured” kyu said and I look at him since I know it was a lie

His illness is not normal.. it was like an illness without a cure.. t was worst like we expected and I don’t know when will be his body lasted the pain..

“appa..” hyunnie said and hug kyu as kyu hug him back

“don’t leave me and umma.. arasso??” he said as he was still hugging him

“ne.. I will” kyu whispered as he kiss hyunnie’s head and look at me as I saw the sadness in his eyes

As the time goes by..it was the time kyu need t rest due to the therapy he will be undergoing hours from now.. I decided to leave first and go to dr.han and discuss something to him..

I walk towards his office and when I already facing his door I take a deep breath and knock..

“come in” the person inside said

I open the door and saw him writing something and he look who is it smiled at me

“oh! hyukjae” he said and I bowed on him

“annyeong dr.han” I said and sit to the vacant sit beside his table

“what can I do for you?” he ask and I sigh

“I need to know everything about kyu’s condition” I said

Since I never have the chance to talk to kyu about it I go here to ask that.. I want to know everything.. the things I must expect.. the things might happen in the future.. the things I might help for kyu..

“kyu didn’t told you?” he ask and I motioned a no for an answer

“that kid..” dr.han said and sigh

“as you can see.. his illness is something hard to be cured.. since it is rare for people to have those sickness still we don’t know the cure for it.. well we know but I don’t if it can work n him since it was too risky for him” he said and I nod

“what is it??” I ask

“brain transplant.. as you can see if you try that thing to cure him.. there is a possible that he will live and there is a possible that he will not.. if ever he will overcome the transplant there is a hundred percent that he will not remember everything… he will not remember all of you” he said

After he said those thing my heart skip a bit.. knowing that kyu can live by using that thing but there is an exchange that he will never remember us..

“is there any other cure?” I ask and I can feel tears flowing on my face

“only that hyukjae..” dr. an said and sigh

“I understand.. how long does he live??” I ask bravely

“I don’t even know.. since his will to live is still strong but his body slowly giving up.. since the pain is constantly coming up” he said and I nod

“thank you dr.han” I said and I stood up bowing at him and left but before I go out of the door he said something

“please hyukjae.. let kyu live his life the most happy thing he ever have.. he need it.. he was happy seeing you.. he always telling you how precious you to him.. please make your time precious” he said and without looking back at him I nod and leave the room

As I leave the room I lean on the wall for support and slowly I slip on it as I slowly sitting on the floor as I cry..

“kyu.. please live for us” I whispered and cried

After the confrontation to dr. han I immediately walk towards the room and saw kyu vomiting and I run towards him since siwon was not here and he was only by himself..

“kyu” I said as I sooth his back and he was vomiting like there’s no tomorrow

After that he look at me and I walk towards the container and make sure to clean it for him..

“I’m sorry hyukie” kyu said as he lowered his head

“it’s ok kyu.. I’ll be your personal nurse from now on arasso??” I said and laugh but deep inside I was hurting to see him like that

“then I must recover since my nurse here is the most beautiful one” he said and smile

I laugh and he also did

“where have been by the way?” he ask as I go back on his bed and place the container on his side and sit

“outside.. just having some fresh air” I lied since I don’t want him to know that I left to know his condition

“oww..” he said and I look at him as he look at the window

“kyu..” I called him and he look at me

“wht if there is a cure on your sickness.. will you consider it??” I ask and he raise his eyebrows

“I don’t know.. it depends” he answered and I noded

“wae??” he ask as he look at me intently

“well.. I visited dr. hn and ask about everything.. he said it has a cure and that.. that’s why I ask if you will consider it” I said and his expression change

“I will never consider that… I know about it hyukie.. I will lose everything.. I will not remember everyone.. I will never remember you” he said as pain can heard in his voice

“you will not..” I said and he  look at me

“you will not remember me here…” I said as I pointed his head

“but will never forget me here” he said as I put my palm in his chest where his heart located

“remember that kyu” I said and he nodded and hug me

“I still don’t know hyukie.. I’m afraid” he said and I nodded

“ok.. I will not push you into this.. just tell me if everything change your mind” I said and he noded

Please kyu.. I want you to live.. to live for us..