Chapter 29

-memories-

-EUNHYUK’S POV-

Years after the incident I never saw kyuhyun again..

Ahra noona said he leave day after the party only siwon stayed.. I tried to find him but they said they don’t know where he is.. he just leave without telling anyone his where about..

Those past few days.. I suffered a lot.. I cried.. I didn’t attend my classes.. everything was a mess about me.. everyone was worried.. I didn’t et I got sick but the thing is siwon was with me.. he never leave by my side.. even though he was kyu’s brother I don’t find my heart on him.. yes! He take place kyu’s place In my life but in my heart he will always be..

Those years of suffering was like a hell.. its like my life was without light.. I never find my lips to smile again.. I always show those blank face I found when he left me.. those eyes without soul and words that only answer when someone ask.. my friends was with me but I don’t find time to mingle with them.. with them and their partners.. it broke my heart..

Right now.. I found myself trying to move on.. siwon on my side and my friends.. I want to move on. Kyuhyun will never come back.. he leave me and hurt me..

Can I hate him for that? I tried a lot of time but here I’am longing for his touch and wanting to see him even just a far..pathetic right? I know.. I still love him but does he? Does he think of me all those years? Does he cry for me? Does he look for where I’am? Does he longed for me?

“hyukie” someone called me and I look back seeing siwon approaching me again

“spacing out again?” as he laugh and put the cold beverage on my forehead

“cold” I said as I hold the drink out of my forehead

“still thinking of my brother?” he said as he smiled at me

“no..” I lied and he laugh

“don’t lie hyuk.. I know you too well” he laugh and drink

“don’t try to talk about him siwon” I glared as he nod

“how was hyunnie?” he smield as I look at him

“he’s good.. still he was sooooo cute and he called me umma!!”I answered as I told him excitedly

Well.. hyunnie? Who was he?? All those years I raise my child with the help of siwon.. he was my son.. our son.. hr grew like he’s father.. he also look like him.. that’s why when I got home I feel like kyuhyun was with me.. I smiled as I think about it..

“hyukie.. can I as something?” he said as I look at him and nod

“can you be my boyfriend?” he said and I just look at him and blink many times

“what?!” I said as what he said didn’t registered in my mind

“I said.. can you be my boyfriend?” he said again

I look down and sigh..

“siwon.. you know I can’t right?” I said as I lowered my head more

“is it about hyunnie?? Or kyu??” he said as he hold my hands

“both” I answered as I sigh

“I accept hyunnie with all my heart.. and kyu? He ask to take care of you remember??” he said as he smile as I look at him

Should I accept him or not? What if I deed? I don’t love him.. he knows that and he knows that I can’t move on with kyu.. but why did he told me those words??

“I’ll try siwon” I said as I close my eyes and take a deep breathe

“thank you hyukie” siwon said as he hug me and I nod

The bell ring and we both stood up and he look at me

“hyukie.. I will take care of you” he said and I nod as I walk away towards our room and so does he

But instead on entering our classroom I went to the secret room and walk inside..

The room where we share those good memories..

I look at everything.. nothing change.. and something caught my eyes.. the board..

I went towards the board and stop as I get the chalk and started to write something..

“where are you? Do you miss me? Do ever think of me??

I do miss you and think of you everyday kyuhyun..”

I look at what I wrote and tears came flowing I my eyes as I walk away and close the room leaving the board with those board..

As I enter the classroom kangin hyung look at me with my tears on my eyes and I look at him with those blank on my face and proceed on my seat without saying anything.. as wookie, sungmin, hae and kibum look at me and only turn to kangin hyung when he started to say something which is he knew I didn’t mind listening to..

I think of those words.. why did I wrote those words as if he will reply on those.. I sigh as I lean my head on the table and rest..

The bell rang and siwon tap me on the shoulder

“hyukie.. let’s go” he said as he smile

This guy.. I know I will broke his eyes just like what kyu did to me..

“siwon can we talk?” I said and he nod

I walk away as I didn’t wait for him and proceed on the rooftop as I lean on the railings seeing the grounds

“what is it hyukie?” he said as he was approaching me

“you know it is where we first met siwon.. he love being here as he lok at those people from there” I told him as I point the ground

Siwon approach me and lean also to see the ground full of students

“miss him?” he ask as he look at me

“very” I answered as I look at the place where the garden was

“but hyukie what was the thing here?” he said as he look at the people again

“I can’t be your boyfriend.. I don’t want to hurt you” I said as I lowered my head

“I know you will say that” he said and I look at him confused

“I’m just trying.. you really love my brother“ he said as he smile but I know he was sad and hurt

“sorry siwon” I said and he just smile and saying that everything is ok

We walk down and leave the school as he accompanied me going home.. yes he do those things when kyuhyun leave.. everything kyu did to me he replace it.. that’s the reason why I declined.. he’s too good for a person like me.. person who can’t move on who hurt by the person he love and still wait for him..

“thank you siwon” I said and smiled

“anything for you monkey” he said

Monkey.. no one call me that except kyuhyun.. I stare at siwon and he just smile and leave.. I stare at his back as he walk away..

Tears flow again for the nth time as I walk inside and seeing noona looking at me..

“he’s kyu’s brother right?” she said as I nod

“hyukie.. can I talk to you” she said and I walk inside and seat on the sofa

“hyukie.. move on.. he leave you.. he hurt you.. look at you.. I never saw you smiling whole heartedly.. you always show those fake smiles of yours..” she said as he look at me worriedly

“sorry noona” is the thing I only told her

“move on hyukie move on.. I know that guy love you try to accept him” she said

“no noona.. I will just hurt him” I said and stood up and walk inside room

I saw a book or something placed in my table..

It didn’t belong to me.. and it’s the first time I saw it..

I walk towards it and sit on the chair and try to open it..

The first thing I saw makes my tears flow non-stop

“hyukie.. I love you”

It as kyu’s hand written

I open the book and saw everything full of pictures..

First.. it’s me? In a hallway?!

“first time I saw him was that I fall in love with him”

I look at the bottom and I saw me again leaning on the table..

“sleeping at this time?”

Everything was me.. everything was me.. my tears keep on flowing as I continue

I saw picture of us in a garden..

“here it goes.. I told him I like him and got rejected but bingo!! I think too much!!”

And then every moment was there..

And the last pictures caught my eye.. it was the week before he leave me..

I scan the pictures and saw this picture of him sleeping

“I wonder who take this.. my monkey are you the one?”

It was the one I took when I saw him sleeping and find it cute.. I smiled at it and shove my tears away..

“babo kyu!! Where are you?” I said to myself as I still scan the book

Ten at the end there is him smiling the smile I really love..

“NO MATTER WHAT I LOVE YOU REMEMBER THAT”

YOU LOVE ME.. but why did you leave me and hurt me??

After that I look at the book and realization strike my mind.. how come this book get here?? I run downstairs seeing noona looking at me

“noona!! Where did it come from?” I ask as I breathe rapidly

“some man.. he said it was delivered from him and told him to give it to you but sicne your not here I get it and put it in your room wae?” she look at me and ask

“nothing” I answered and go back on my room

I lied down on my bed with my eyes close

“where are you kyu? Where are you?? Why did you leave me and this?? Why?? It hurts me more” I said to myself as I cried more wanting to release the pain

Days after the book incident I told everyone about it..

“it must be kyu” hae said as he look at me and everyone nod

“but why did he leave you??” kibum ask me and I just sigh

“he’s around” I said as I look at them and they just answer me on silence

I stood up and proceed on the secret room..

I wish he will come back on me..

I open the door seeing first thing was the board full of flowers design and my eyes got wide and I run towards it..

I look on what I wrote..

“where are you? Do you miss me? Do ever think of me??

I do miss you and think of you everyday kyuhyun..”

And under it there is something written on it..

“monkey.. I can’t tell.. I do miss you.. badly..

I think of you everyday.. every minute.. every second of my life..”

I cried as I yelled and cried again..

Cho kyuhyun.. where are you?? Why are like this making me suffer.. making me hurt more..

Where are you?