The ride in the van back home is terrible. Leeteuk's screaming like a madman, Ryeowook's trembling like a leaf, and Siwon's praying for the both of them. Donghae wants to tell Siwon that he doesn't need any of his prayers. 

"Leeteuk, shut up," Heechul says. "You don't see Seunghwan getting all pissy about this, don't you?"

"He's always reserved," Leeteuk shot back.

Shindong's sitting with his arms crossed. He initially refused to ride in the same van as Donghae and Hyukjae, but Seunghwan's pleading finally convinced him. Shindong says, "And he's not a like you, Heechul."

It takes Kyuhyun, Hyukjae, Sungmin, and Ryeowook to restrain a Heechul that's lunging for Shindong's head. 

"Hyukjae, let me go! I'm not even the idiot homoual here!" Heechul hissed. 

"Can you pull over, Seunghwan? I think I'm about to throw up," Yesung says.

"Don't be melodramatic," Leeteuk spits. 

Yesung does throw up. Luckily it's out of the window and onto, not into, the car. The atmosphere in the car was already bad enough.

***

At the end of the ride, the members stay in the van for an hour longer, and finally decide that they won't tell anyone else about this. "Seok-Cheon was fired from his TV host job, and every contract he had was terminated when he came out," Leeteuk reminds them sharply. "Don't screw this up for the rest of us, Donghae and Eunhyuk."

"Do your parents know about this?" Yesung asks, still a little green. 

"Or did you at least tell God?" Siwon asks them both before they get a chance to answer. 

***

Seok-Cheon profusely apologizes to the both of them. "I thought they already knew and were fine with it," he said, stricken. 

Donghae laughs humorlessly. "I finally told Donghwa and my mom."

"And?" The bespectacled gay man asked. 

"They told me to never talk to them again until I was 'fixed.' Donghwa didn't want to be 'infected'."

"Oh. My mom told me to commit a joint suicide with her and my dad, as the shame was too much for the family," Seok-Cheon said.

*** 

Somehow word got out around SM. At first, people dismissed it as an exaggerated rumor, but then their eyes started getting narrower and narrower as Donghae and Eunhyuk walked past them. 

"Do you really think they're gay?" Donghae heard Yuri whisper to Taeyeon.

Taeyeon whispered, "I don't know, but I think Jessica suspected something, and that's why she broke up with Donghae."

***

"You should stop taking all these anti-depressants," Hyukjae said.

Donghae ignores him and takes five pills in one go.

Hyukjae's eyes bugged out. "What the.." He stops as soon as Donghae starts coughing and hurriedly went behind Donghae, doing the Heimlich maneuver a couple of times. Two pills popped out. Donghae's eyes were still watery.

"Honestly, I just wanted to feel better," Donghae mumbled, head down.

Hyukjae glares at him. "I'm flushing these pills down the toilet."

***

"What is having with another guy like?" Kyuhyun asks Hyukjae when they're alone in the dance room.

"Google it," Hyukjae answers shortly. 

***

, making love, whatever you want to call it. At first, Hyukjae topped, but an annoyed Donghae later demanded to switch positions. Now they alternate whenever they feel like it, but one thing that stays the same is that they never do it in the dorms. 

Some of the other members still give them disgusted looks when they just look at each other. 

"That's unnatural," Siwon says when he sees Donghae giving Hyukjae a brief morning hug. 

"Your face is unnatural," Heechul says as he walks into the kitchen.

***

Eventually the rumors get so out of hand that Soo-Man himself personally asks Hyukjae and Donghae to see him. They're eating at a five-star restaurant, and Soo-Man is smiling pleasantly. Hyukjae hates it, because it reminds him too much of Kibum's smile. An actor's smile. Donghae hates Soo-Man's smile because he knows what's coming next.

Soo-Man finally addresses the question when Donghae's wondering if Soo-Man actually invited them just because as they're ordering the dessert.

Hyukjae's become a better actor. He looks shocked. "No. Why would you think that?"

Soo-Man laughs. "Just checking. Sorry for doubting you, Hyukjae. It's just...all rumors have a basis, don't you two think?"

It's when the first of the dessert dishes, chocolate mousse, arrive when Soo-Man cuts to the point. 

"Actually, Leeteuk personally told me that you two were gay, and he said the rest of the members could testify it," Soo-Man says sharply. "This dinner meeting was mainly a test to see how truthful and loyal you two were to me."

***

During their Super Show 3 performances, Hyukjae's the one to initiate the fanservice. Donghae thinks it's funny how the fans scream and chant "Eunhae!" whenever that happens, but they would probably start boycotting them if they knew the truth. 

***

"You've seemed a lot more depressed ever since you started going out with Eunhyuk," Siwon quietly tells Donghae while they're on the set of a new drama. 

"It's not him," Donghae says, rummaging in his pockets for something. 

"Are those antidepressants again?" Siwon asks alarmed as he sees the pills Donghae takes out. "We told you to stop taking those. They're clearly not working.

Donghae swallows two. "So? Anything else I'm doing isn't working either."

"You should do things that make you happy or at peace with yourself. Like pray to...er, I mean, exercise. Or sing. Don't you like that a lot?"

Donghae snorts. "I don't see the point. My singing can be not worth a and it wouldn't make a difference since Yoo Young-Jin is just making me quack in most of our songs now, anyway."

"I heard you got into a fight with Young-Jin. You shouldn't do that. He's one of the most important people in SM."

Donghae shrugs and swallows another pill.