*Note: Eunhyuk and Hyukjae are going to start being used interchangeably.

"Smile. That's the name of the group SM's thinking of putting me in, dad."

"Wow, that's great, son! By the way, I saw some of your friends on Heejun vs. Kangta, Battle of the Century: Pop vs. Rock. I saw Hyukjae and Junsu."

Donghae smiled bitterly. "What did you think?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

Appa laughed awkwardly. "Well, when I first found out which one was Hyukjae, I couldn't believe it. You told me he was very handsome. One of a kind. And it may have just been the transitioning to TV, but he looked kind of like a monkey to me. I thought Sungmin was the one you said was Hyukjae at first. Junsu's very talented, though."

***

Junsu, Sungmin, and Hyukjae's project group disbanded. Donghae wasn't sure what he felt about the whole situation. Hyukjae and him hadn't talked since he started participating in Heejun vs. Kangta. Whether it was because of full schedules or general apprehension, Donghae did not know, but Hyukjae did get a lot busier since his involvement with Kangta.

The idea for Smile was quickly dropped. Donghae thought Jungsu was looking edgier and edgier as the weeks passed at SM. Jungsu was supposed to debut in Smile with Donghae, but now that that was dropped, Jungsu had to wait and hope he was in the next group debut.

"He's getting older," Heechul, a pretty-boy who joined SM in 2002, whispered to Donghae as soon as Jungsu was out of earshot. Jungsu had just been scolding this poor new trainee, Kim Kibum. Kibum was from California, and Donghae liked talking with Kibum. He was quiet, reserved, and knew a lot of funny stories about America.

"Isn't he just 18 or 19?" Donghae asked, nonplussed.

Heechul shrugged. "BoA debuted at 13."

***

"I guess we're sharing rooms again," Hyukjae said.

Donghae tensed. "Yeah."

Kibum looked between them both with interest. "You never told me you knew Eunhyuk before." He noticed with interest how Eunhyuk's jaw tightened slightly before he gave an awkward laugh.

"Yeah, well, we haven't been cropping up in each others conversations lately. I've been jam-packed with impromptu singing lessons and scheduled crap that I..."

"Don't give me that ." Donghae glared at Hyukjae. "I went to that old grill yesterday with Kibum and Heechul, and I saw you living it up there with Sungmin and Junsu. It looked like you had pigged out on five courses. How long did that take you?"

Kibum frowned. Should I just go?

"We were celebrating. We were finally free of that workload SM's making us slave away at. I went home yesterday, so that's why I couldn't contact you yet, and I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me, honestly."

Kibum tried to leave as discreetly as he could, but Donghae grabbed his hand. "No, Kibum, stay."

Kibum groaned. "What for? And what did I tell you about skinship? Urgh, I hate it, Donghae."

Hyukjae looked genuinely hurt. "Donghae...just let him go. I didn't bring Junsu along with me, did I?"

"That's because he's talking with the higher-ups about being in a new band with Yunho, Yoochun, and those two! I heard about that, too, you know!"

"Well, if he wasn't preoccupied, I still wouldn't have brought him along. Can't we at least take this somewhere more private where no one else is around?"

"The only one here is Kibum!"

Kibum thought, I guess Donghae didn't see how that could be an insult.

"Why does your new boy toy need to be here?" Hyukjae asked angrily.

Kibum's eyes widened. What.

Donghae's eyes widened. New? What the...does he know what that implies?

Hyukjae mentally slapped himself.

Kibum shook off Donghae's hand, which had slightly slackened its earlier vice grip. "Whoa. I don't swing that way." He surveyed Hyukjae. "I'm not sure if I can say the same about you, though. Are you and Donghae...?" Kibum trailed off when he saw the wide-eyed looks Donghae and Hyukjae were currently giving each other. "Huh. Isn't it really bad for your kind in Korea?"

"I'm not gay," Donghae quickly says.

"Me neither," Hyukjae hastily adds.

Kibum notices the disbelieving look Donghae throws Hyukjae. "Really now?"

"Yes, really," Hyukjae says tersely. He glares at Donghae. "Get him out. Now."

Kibum says even-temperedly, "You could've just asked me to leave." He turns to the door once more, but a lot more slowly and unwillingly than he did a few minutes ago.

"No, don't leave," Donghae begs. "I swear I'm not gay; I think Hyukjae's interested in both, though, but please stay or else I think you might think Hyukjae and I are going to make out or do other gay stuff as soon as you leave and..."

Hyukjae practically chokes on air. When he finally composes himself, amidst Donghae's annoyance and Kibum's annoyance, he says, "One. I'm not gay. You know all the videos I have, Donghae. Two. What on earth, Donghae. Why would we...?"

Wow, I never knew Korea could be so fun. Kibum thinks as he interrupts Eunhyuk. "I'm curious, Donghae. Why did you say Eunhyuk, or as you call him, Hyukjae, interested in both?" 

"I'm not!" Hyukjae angrily says. "If it's anyone who's interested in both, it's Donghae!"

"What?!" Donghae hisses. "I wasn't the one who ing confessed to another boy before suddenly leaving the next morning and not talking to him for the longest time ever since he was too busy with fame and galbi and his oh so wonderful friends, Junsu and Sungmin!"

Huh, confessed, Kibum thought. Oh, Eunhyuk's looking at me. I think he just asked why was I still here. Kibum languidly smiled in response. "I'm guessing because Donghae's scared of you right now. You did confess to him after all; we don't know what else you're going to try and do now, do we?" Kibum smiled suggestively. He noticed interestedly that Donghae bit his lip a bit nervously and embarrassedly at his last remark. "Unless you already tried something?"

Eunhyuk's face told it all. Jackpot, Kibum thought. "No," he obviously lied. "And I think Donghae misinterpreted what he's telling you is a 'confession.' I may have told him I loved him...but just between friends, right? He's blowing this out of proportion." Eunhyuk gave Donghae what Kibum easily recognized was a warning glance.

"Well, not talking to one of your...as I take it...very close friends...even during your fancy TV appearances, seems a little harsh," Kibum says, deciding to humoring Eunhyuk.

Eunhyuk smiled wanly. "I did talk to him. With Junsu. When he found out Soo-Man was going to put him in Smile." Eunhyuk prayed that Donghae wouldn't tell Kibum the details. Junsu and him thought it would be funny to tease Donghae about changing and becoming a fat, useless idol who couldn't sing and had heart cancer because he was so fat. Jungsu was near them and could tell it was a silly joke and laughed his annoying, distinct laugh, but Donghae seemed to take extreme offense, locked himself up in a bathroom and started crying. Eunhyuk had no idea if Donghae had an extreme fear of becoming fat or something, but he had noted to himself to never talk about gaining weight, deteriorating voices, and gaining cancer with Donghae in the future.

Kibum smiled suavely. Hyukjae decided he definitely didn't like Kibum's smile. It was too perfect. Urgh, like Donghae's smile. Kibum said, "Well, seeing as Donghae doesn't want me to leave, I can be a mediator in your little fight."

Donghae looked like he was contemplating on asking Kibum to leave, too. "Actually..." Donghae began.

The door slammed open, and all three boys jumped. Yunho walked in, laughing, with Junsu. They automatically stopped when they saw the scene: Hyukjae was glaring at Kibum, Kibum was smiling in a why-am-I-still-here way, and Donghae was glaring at Eunhyuk, arms crossed and looking like he was about to smack a ho.

"Um, hey," Junsu began lamely.

"Um, yeah, hey," Yunho continued the lameness. "We, um, just wanted to find Eunhyuk and Donghae to tell you two that Junsu's not rooming with you both anymore. We're going to debut later this year, and all the group members have to room together."

Donghae's eyes widened. "So, I'll be rooming alone with Hyukjae?"

"Eunhyuk," Yunho corrected, taken aback at Donghae's nervousness. "Eunhyuk...you should begin calling him that."

"Don't worry," Hyukjae muttered. "I know I'm not going to be in your group."

Yunho shrugged. "Boss Soo-Man had a reason for renaming you. It makes you stand out. Eunhyuk. Jewel? I think it sound better than Hyukjae. Now all we need to do is change your face."

"His face is fine the way it is," Donghae said venomously, drawing um-what? looks from the others in the room.

"Uh, sure," Yunho said. "Anyhow, Junsu and I have to leave now again. I think our break is over."

***

"Homouality isn't bad," Kibum says out of the blue one day, swinging his legs.

Donghae stops wolfing down his tteok to flick Kibum. "Shut up."

***

Donghae first makes a point to sleep on Junsu's former bed, but he gives up one week in. It's the same time he and Hyukjae start talking like they used to again.

"Kibum's a weirdo," Hyukjae says during dance class one day. Junsu and Yunho aren't in it anymore, and Hyoyeon can't be because the management decided to fill what was formerly her dance slot with Chinese. Hyukjae and Donghae are enrolled in Chinese lessons, too, but it's at a different time.

"You're a weirdo."

"...Mr. Kim's a weirdo."

Donghae chortles. "You're just saying that because he's always late. And because he doesn't like you."

"More and more people's been telling me it's because of my face." Hyukjae frowns at the floor. "I never really knew I was that ugly until I came to SM."

"Shut up. You're not ugly. You just have a very non-traditional face."

"..."

Donghae impatiently grabs Hyukjae's jaw. "You're being an idiot. This," Donghae says, tracing Hyukjae's jaw. "Is something I'm so jealous of. Foreign girls love your type of jaw. And your single-lids," Donghae continues, lightly brushing his fingers across Hyukjaw's eyes. "Means that you aren't like one of those douches or prissy stuck-up girls who spends thousands on just some weird flaps of skin. And..." he stops when he notices that Hyukjae is very tense and how intimate the scene looks. "Right," Donghae finishes lamely. His fingers leave Hyukjae's face and they're a suitable distance apart thankfully when Mr. Kim finally enters. 

***

"We're going to debut at a BoA and Britney Spears showcase. Two hot girls," Junsu prattled. "Hyukjae definitely jerks off to BoA, and Donghae probably jerks off to that other one. Jealous, much?"

"Yeah," Hyukjae mumbled, still in bed.

"When is the showcase?" Donghae mumbled from beside him, arm slung around Hyukjae.

Junsu sighed. "You two are seriously disgusting sometimes. It's Saturday noon, and you two are cuddling like there's no tomorrow. Jeez, do I have to repeat myself? BoA? Britney Spears? End of the year?"

Donghae gave Junsu the middle finger.

"Real mature there, Donghae," Junsu grumbled. "And I still don't get how that's supposed to be offensive. Anyhow, I heard that we have a new Chinese trainee, Han Kyung. He's improving a lot. He was in Class C dancing during June, but I heard he's going to be promoted to Class A by the end of the year. He's in B now."

"Blah blah blah," Donghae says.

Junsu sighed. "See what I have to deal with?" He asked.

"Sure," said Kibum, who had came in the unlocked dorm with Junsu. His eyes flickered once over Donghae's leg, which was now wrapped around Hyukjae, too. He gestured for Junsu to lean in closer. "Are they gay?" He whispered.

Junsu quickly glanced back at Hyukjae and Donghae, and scowled when he noticed Hyukjae's face was now turned towards Donghae and his hands were pressed against the younger's chest. "No," he whispered back. "Hyukjae personally told me and Donghae he jerks off to BoA. And he owns the biggest collection I know. He's definitely into girls. Now, Donghae on the other hand...he's questionable. Hyukjae and i asked him about it once, and he shut us down. He told us later that he wants three to four kids, which he definitely can't have with a guy, and a lot of girls dig him, but..."

Kibum smiled. Please do go on. I've been practicing this egging-on smile for a while now.

Junsu was swayed by the smile. "I suspected Donghae had a crush on Hyukjae for a while. He's so...handsy with him. And he follows Hyukjae almost everywhere, like a puppy, and he looks at Hyukjae differently than he does with anyone else. It's ing creepy sometimes."

Huh, that's interesting. "So, you think Donghae has more homo in him than Hyukjae?"

"Definitely." Their voices were still hushed. Junsu and Kibum looked nervously back at the bed again. "What do you think?" Junsu asked.

"This...I definitely did not expect these kind of conversations when I took the plane from LA to Seoul," Kibum truthfully began.

"Ironic, huh?"

"Yeah. I think I saw more gayness here than in California. And California's known to be a pretty gay place."

Junsu lowered his voice even further. "What do you mean?"

Kibum glanced at the bed again and saw that Donghae was now looking at them suspiciously. "What are you two talking about?" Donghae asked.

Kibum's acting side helpfully reared its head. "This girl I like," Kibum said.

"WHAT." Donghae shot straight out of bed, swiveling his leg and arm the opposite way from Hyukjae. Hyukjae's lips pursed for a moment, but they curved up slightly again as he seized the blankets that were formerly underneath both of their legs. "I didn't know this was happening. I feel betrayed now." Thankfully, he didn't notice Junsu's slight surprise and following admiration at Kibum's lie. Donghae lightly kicked Hyukae in his gut. "Come on, dummy, we're getting food with Junsu and Kibum."

"Finally!" Junsu said, throwing his hands up in the air. Because food was what he originally came here for, but Donghae and Hyukjae, those slacking jerks, had ran out of instant ramen two days ago.

Hyukjae groaned again as Donghae's foot made contact with his gut again. "Fine, fine, you annoying jerk, I'll get up."

Donghae smiled triumphantly and tossed his pajamas at Hyukjae as he started getting dressed, his penguin-patterned boxers displayed for the room to see. He opened the drawers hurriedly and rummaged through the formerly neatly folded t-shirts. Hyukjae removed Donghae's pajamas from his head and turned to glare at him. "You--" Kibum thought it was interesting how Hyukjae's voice died out the same time his eyes made contact with Donghae's backside. Junsu didn't notice anything, as he was currently preoccupied with a newly found box of strawberry-flavored Pepero.

Hyukjae cleared his throat and threw one of Donghae's socks at Junsu. "Hey. That's mine."

Junsu didn't even bother to dodge the sock, which landed two feet short, and continued eating the cookie stick. "Are you sure you're okay with Donghae messing up your clothes like this? I remember you yelled at me for ten minutes when I did that."

"What? Oh. Um. Yeah." Hyukjae kept his face carefully turned away from Donghae.

Junsu glanced between Hyukjae, who was throwing on a hoodie with sweats, and Donghae, who grabbed one of Hyukjae's t-shirts and pair of jeans. "I feel like I'm starting to be left out the loop," he grumbled. "I'm going to go outside and finish this. I feel that it's lame that being outside makes me fell less of an outsider than being in the same dorm as you two now."

"Sorry?" Donghae said, tugging on the jeans. When he was finished, he started tying his white sneakers' shoelaces. He still wasn't wearing a shirt, Kibum noted. He switched his observation subject to Hyukjae abruptly, and made eye contact.

Kibum blinked. "Why are you glaring at me?"

Hyukjae pursed his lips, taking off the hoodie to put on a black wife-beater first. "Sorry. I...you were looking at Donghae weirdly."

Whoa. Look who's talking, backside watcher, Kibum thought. He widened his eyes slightly in the way he saw Donghae did sometimes when he was trying to look sympathetic and not guilty at all. "Oh, I didn't mean to bother you. What was I doing?"

"You were...just forget it. I think it was a trick of the light." Let's just avoid this conversation entirely, Hyukjae thought.

"No, it probably wasn't!" Donghae said, grinning. "You noticed my abs just now, right, Kibum?" He proudly pointed at his stomach, which looked entirely flat to Kibum.

Um, sure. "Yeah," Kibum humored him.

"My has more muscle than your abs," Hyukjae said bluntly, poking Donghae's stomach.

Donghae growled. "I wasn't even aware you had a ."

***

Tri-Angle. Currently with a sale total of over 300,000 copies. October 2004.

Donghae sighed. "Head Soo-Man told me he was going to debut us soon, appa." He blinked. Why am I tearing up now? "I...wish I can debut soon. And I wish you could see me perform. I'll save up so you can have one of have my concert tickets. VIP."

The older man laughed into the phone. "It'll be your time soon, son. Don't worry, you'll be..." his sentence was interrupted with a series of coughs and gasps.

"Dad?" Donghae said, alarmed. 

"I'm fine..." the older man said hoarsely as soon as his coughing fit was over. "My immune system is just not the way it used to be."

"Are the doctors taking care of you well? Why do you sound a lot worse this month? Dad...do you want me to come home?"

"No, stay there," Donghae's dad said firmly. "Donghwa's working at a local bakery on the weekends as a delivery boy. This family's earning more than enough money from my, Donghwa, and your mom's jobs. Don't wor..." the coughing started again. 

*A/N: I notice I switch back between present and past tense a lot. If it doesn't take too much time, can you tell me in a comment which one you prefer? Thanks. :D