[Yesung's POV]

There's something about the look in their eyes. Something I noticed when the light was just right. All their movements; the way Siwon's hand rests on Kyuhyun's back, so delicately, just to let him know, remember him, that he was there. And how the younger responds; the shy smiles, the little taps on the other's chest, the never ending whispers.

And I found myself immersed, once again, on the sight of those two sharing more than a friendship, something deeper and more meaningful. Such an extraordinary view, yet so heartbreaking.

The show was about to end, but not even the inmensity of the sapphire blue sea decorating the venue could make me get those images out of my head, nor shut those tiny voices telling me that they were together, and they were happy.

I struggled to get a hold of myself. I wasn't the ever so comical Yesung that night. I didn't make jokes or danced enthusiastically. I wasn't even paying attention to the skinship between the other members. I screwed up hundreds of times when I was singing. I was just going through the motion, like a pitiful marionette.

Some of the guys noticed my state. Thinking that maybe I was just tired, they approached to rub my back or poke my sides, but there was no reaction. Later at the changing rooms, Leeteuk-hyung asked me if I was ok, I just apologized for messing up and told him that I was indeed tired and that I just needed to rest. A rest from all this thoughts running through my head like bursts of blinding light.

Was it wrong to feel this way? Was it wrong to... feel jealous of such a genuine relationship between two of my beloved dongsaengs? I don't know if you can understand me, but I will try to explain further. I've been in Super Junior for such a long time, time enough to really get to know all the members, their personalities, the things they like and dislike, their fears, their passions... time enough to respect and love each and everyone of them. And I know that they like me back, in fact, I'm pretty sure that they would miss me immensely if I ever leave the band, and I can assure you that I'm even one of the favorite hyungs/dongsaengs to some of them. You have never seen a friendship, a brotherhood, stronger than ours.

But not long ago the situation got complicated. And there's no one to blame but me. Me for being so dumb and starting to develop feelings for two of the members. Different feelings, feelings that can lift you up and make you feel in cloud nine, feelings that can bring you down and bury you in deep misery. Have you ever felt that?

And then I think this is not entirely my fault. Choi Siwon has part of the blame too. I mean, why does he has to be so perfect inside out? Why does he has to be so caring, humble, composed and unique? I bet that if you could see him, if you could wake up every morning with the smell of coffee and his warm smile, you would be head over heels for him aswell.

Cho Kyuhyun is not exempt either. He always has the most creative, snarky remarks to make us laugh, to show us, in his way, that he cares about us. And his voice! I know that I'm the so-called main singer of the group, but oh god! I swear I had never heard something so heavenly, so full of emotion! If you could fall asleep with him singing, you would be at his feet.

They're perfect for each other, made to be together. Who am I to even think to be part of that? Who am I to distub such a beautiful scheme? Yesung, the weird one. The one who is not afraid (but according to me, the one with a lack of dignity) to make a fool of himself. The one that, in Siwon's words, has a strange aura. I could never belong to that, to them.

I get out of my trance only when Donghae hits my arm slightly, to let me know that we've arrived to the dorms. I get out of the van and follow the guys quietly through the building gates. I'm not in the mood to joke around, I just want to go to my room and escape from reality, at leats for today.

"Huyng, are you ok?" - I hear a voice behind me on the way up to the dorms. "I'm ok Ryeowook-ah, I'm just tired and sleeppy" - I respond to an obviously worried Ryeowook.

I haven't had the guts to tell any of them about my feelings, not even to Leeteuk-hyung. I don't want to be a burden for him, I don't want them to notice how... sad and lonely I am.

"Ok, but promise me you'll have dinner with us before going to sleep. We want to celebrate the ending of our Super Show 4" - "Ok, ok. I'll eat with you guys" - I respond. I'll have to endure it a bit more.

Actually, the dinner was nice. I got distracted by Eunhyuk and Shindong's jokes. We recieved a call from Kibum to congratulate us for the show. The food was tasty and comforting, and the images of our fans and their overwhelming support helped me to feel better.

I still glanced over to where Siwon and Kyuhyun were sitting. Siwon was helping the younger to cut his steak while Kyuhyun was chatting happily with Sungmin. It's weird how everybody but me is so obvlivious about these little things, these details between them. Just as it pains me to see them together, I can not help but be happy at the same time. The fact that the people I love and care about so much are blissful is enough to keep me content, but how I wish I could be part of that...

I wonder if they ever notice me looking at them, or at all? I wonder if the fact that I'm in love with both has ever crossed their minds? I kind of hope not. I hope that keeping it a secret won't break me. I hope that I can go on being a silent admirer.

So first chapter is up! How do you like it? I really really hope you don't find it boring > .<

I wanted this to be a one-shot but then I decided I wanted to develop each charater a

bit more and I also want the story to have a slow progress.

I think it will be a 2-3 chapter story :) As you can see, this one is more about Yesung

and his feelings, on the next one I'm going to write about WonKyu's relationship, so

look forward to it please!

Comment/Susbcribe/Recommend ^^