How we got home and how long it took I could not remember. I was in a state which was somewhere between complete numbness and just pure lack of strength. But as soon as I walked through that door, I turned to my room and made sure to lock it behind me. Yoojin oppa did not follow me. He knew me too well and knew that all I needed is to be with myself and my thoughts. I washed my face which looked like a complete mess. On normal basis I would be worried that I was seen in public crying, but I knew no one here in this country apart from just a few and I could honestly not care any less. After changing into my pyjamas and getting in the big, soft bed all I could do is just lay there curled up in a ball and think. Think back to everything that had happened today, what had gone wrong and most importantly, I thought back on what I had expected. I hated it, but I really had to agree with my mother on one thing – did I really think seeing her would change anything? She hasn’t been there for over 10 years, why would she be there now? I was a stranger to her as she was to me. Biologically she might be my mother, but there was nothing really that would make us close or to love each other. I mean, she’s still my mother and I love her as well as she would me, but it’s just that I realized I actually didn’t need her. I never have and probably never will. It was a scary and saddening thought, but the bare reality. Filled with thoughts like these and trying to sort everything out in my mind, I came to a conclusion as I nodded off – no matter what she said all that matters now is to see my brother. Before I see him I will not go back to England. If he also does not want to see me or doesn’t need me, only then, after I’ve heard those words from him, will I return to England and forever forget I had any ties here.

When I woke up in the morning, my face a bit swollen from all the crying and the fact that it was my main priority showed that a good sleep always helps you sort out anything. Including emotional instability. At least for me. I jumped out of my bed with a much lighter heart and went on to sort out my face and change into normal clothes.

As I came out of my room, I nearly tripped over something big that was laid in front of my door. On a closer look I realized that it was Yoojin oppa, sleeping in front of my door. I nearly burst out laughing. Seriously, this guy never changed. He knew I would be fine in the morning, I’ve been through a lot of tough situations in England, I just needed a good rest and to be alone with my thoughts for a bit. But I had to admit, it was adorable how worried he was and I was thankful towards him for that.

I carefully walked around him, knelt down near his face and observed his sleeping face. I had to admit, he was very good looking and most girls would probably kill to be in my place. He had that very cute but still somewhat handsome face, nice round eyes and when he smiled it would light up your whole world. I smiled to myself, gently brushed the hair of his forehead and without any mercy flicked his forehead as powerful as I could. He immediately shot up with his fists clenched and I could see he was quite of it – probably couldn’t tell day apart from night. As he blinked his eyes and slowly took in the surroundings and what had happened, I stood up laughing so hard I had to hold my stomach.

“That is so not funny.” He half growled at me and stood up as well, rubbed his eyes and looked straight into my eyes. I had to stop laughing at his serious expression, I thought I might have gone overboard and he was angry at me.

“How are you feeling? Are you ok?” He asked with true concern in his voice and gently lifted my chin to observe my face. I waved his hands away and gave him a smile as if I had won the Olympics. “Of course I’m fine! I’m Lee Yura after all. There’s nothing that can throw me off my balance!” I said proudly and gave him a thumbs up. He just laughed at me, shook his head and took a deep breath.

“I guess you’re right there. You’re the strongest little girl I’ve ever seen.” He teased me and nodded as if approving of his own words. He knew how much I hated being called a little girl. I knew I was only 16, but I wasn’t that little. I acted more mature than most kids my age. Or so I liked to think.

“Eh, whatever, old man. What’s for breakfast?” I stuck my tongue out to him and continued to go to the dining room where his mother was setting up the table and his father was reading a newspaper. I greeted everyone with a very bright and cheerful ‘good morning’ and we all sat down to enjoy our meal.

After the meal I helped his mother clean up while father left for work (it seemed he was the CEO of a company and it was rare that he rested even on a Sunday) and oppa went to wash up. We made some small talk with his mother and I guess this was my chance to get more familiar with her, but something about her tone made me think she didn’t feel very positive towards me. I had no idea why, but I just let it slide. It’s not like this was my family, it was someone who was nice enough to let an underage girl crash at theirs while travelling. I had to admit that talking to her was a bit difficult also because she seemed to use some a bit old fashioned words and half of the time I had to guess what exactly she was saying so I had to also be careful of my replies. As soon as oppa got back I used that as my escape route.

“So what are you planning to do today? Shall we go around Seoul? I could show you the best places here.” Yoojin oppa suggested, but I shook my head briefly.

“Actually, I was thinking about investigating.” This made him raise an eyebrow. “Mira-sshi said that my brother was preparing to debut in an idol group, right? So that means he’s a trainee in a music company. There shouldn’t be that many music companies here in Seoul, I’m sure that if we ask around we would find which one he is training in and I might get to see him!” I explained further. I couldn’t bring to address Mira-sshi as ‘mother’ anymore. Escapism was sometimes the way I protected myself. Maybe it might have seemed weak for some, but it worked for me. I could see a look of worry on oppa’s face when I mentioned my brother.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, just yesterday you found out what you did and what if things don’t go as good with him either?” He was careful enough not to mention any contents from yesterday’s conversation.

“If they don’t, I will just enjoy the rest of my holiday with my Yoojini-oppa and return to England satisfied and happy.” I replied and smiled brightly. Might as well take in all the bad things at once, so I had more time to heal. Yoojin oppa just let out a big sigh and shrugged his shoulders.

“Your responsibility, young miss.” Was all he said as he went on to inform his mother that we will be going out while I in the mean time quickly went on the internet to search for the addresses of the main music entertainment companies in Seoul. I was sure that I would find him this way. There was no doubt.