As we arrived to the second apartment complex, I once again experienced the very uncomfortable and exciting mix of emotions. This was definitely her address. The man from the previous place seemed like a childhood friend of hers, at least he knew how she looked when she was my age, so there was no way this was not the place I was looking for. However, there was still the question of her being home. And what if my brother is there as well? Or what if she remarried and had other children and really doesn’t even have time to see me? Or maybe she was just lying about wanting to see me earlier to my father. All these sort of questions shot through my head at the same time and by the time I knew it, Yoojin had led me into the building and we were standing in front of the door which would open a whole new world to me or maybe lead me to complete devastation.

My whole body was trembling as I pressed the door bell. There was no turning back now and I felt like it was even hard to breathe. For what seems hours nothing happened. I pressed the door bell again and turned to my oppa. “I guess she’s not in. Let’s come back some other time.” As I said this and took the first step on the stairs, I hear a click behind me and I knew the door had opened. I did not dare to turn around, I felt frozen in my spot but my mind felt like running away.

“Lee Mira-sshi?” I heard oppa’s voice ask and my heart seemed to stop completely until I heard the response.

“Yes, that’s me. Who would you be?” I heard a female’s voice. Somewhat familiar, soothing to my ears and heart. Immediately my heart started its’ own triathlon race and I felt my stomach turning upside-down.

“There is someone here who would like to see you.” I heard him say and I felt hand around my shoulders. I was forcefully turned around and found myself looking into the eyes of a woman who was supposedly my mother. And she had to be it, I could find so many resemblances in her face to mine and suddenly I felt like I’ve known her my whole life. Some memories of my early childhood flashed in front of my eyes and I could clearly tell that this woman was the one I was looking for. I heard her gasp as tears formed into my eyes.

“Mom…” I half whispered, half chocked on my words and inescapably tears started rolling down my eyes like waterfalls. She was looking at me with her eyes wide open, surprise, shock and disbelief mixed in her face. She took a few steps towards me, careful as if I would disappear any second. But I couldn’t wait for her to take it all in, I rushed into her arms hugging her tightly, never wishing to let go ever again.

“Yura!? How on earth did you get her? Is this a dream? Where’s your father?” She was throwing out questions and I could feel her eyes wander around for my father as well. Unable to find him, she lets me go slightly and looked straight in my eyes. “Come on now, we have a lot to talk about.” She took my hand to lead me in the apartment and I immediately grabbed Yoojin’s hand as I would not let him be left out.

The apartment was very clean, not too big but not small either. It seemed like she was doing well by herself. At least I couldn’t see any pictures of any man around in the living room. Just a few with a handsome boy in it, smiling widely while his hands around mother’s shoulders. I could easily tell that was my brother, we had the same smile and it was those loving and protective eyes I remembered seeing as a child. As we sat down, there was a moment of silence. I had stopped sobbing for the time being, oppa just sat quietly next to me and my mother was observing both of us.

“Now… First of all, could you introduce this young man to me. Is he your boyfriend?” She asked calmly, but I could see it was one of those times when mother’s had to act tough and calm for their children. A quick laugh came out of my mouth and oppa straightened up.

“My name is Kim Yoojin. I met Yura when I was studying in England, she and her father helped me out a lot when I was studying there.” He explained briefly and my eyes moved away from my mother at the mention of my father. I wasn’t too sure of her feelings towards him and whether this was the thing I should mention.

“Nice to meet you, Yoojin-sshi.” My mother politely replied and then turned to me. “Speaking of your father, where is he? Does he know you’re here?”

“Ummm… Well, you see… I kind of…” I started explaining, but could not look into her eyes. I felt my cheeks flush with redness a bit. “I came here by myself. He thinks I’m travelling Europe with Yoojin oppa.” I blurted out and gave a quick glance towards my mother and I could see her eyes widening in surprise.

“Yura! How could you! What if he finds out? He’ll be worried sick and I could imagine very angry!” Of course, parents will always star with nagging and scolding. But I knew I deserved it at this point. I had to admit, travelling half of the world to find someone who you have not seen in ten years and who you had no idea if you’ll be able to find or not was a very, very reckless idea. I was lucky enough that things went this smoothly.

“How on earth did you even find me? Even your father doesn’t know this address!” She turned to the next question, seeing that I was full of guilt as it was.

“Well, grandmother let me knew the address we all live in over here, but she wasn’t too sure if you had moved or not. Thankfully that ahjusshi from that other place knew your current address so he gave it to me.” I explained it as shortly as I could. She just let out a sigh and I could see she wanted to tell me off for such a reckless thing, but I was quicker.

“I know, I know it was a very stupid and reckless idea, but I overheard father talking to you on the phone a month or so ago and I finally realized that you actually wanted to see me instead of hating me and not even remembering I existed. I found out father had kept me from finding out anything about you, so I had no choice but to do this if I ever wanted to see you! And I thought this would be my only chance and I just… I just went and did it. And I would do it again if I had to!” I felt my confidence and rational mind come back, as well as my stubbornness. I was not here to listen to critique, I was here to see my mother whom I haven’t seen for ten years! If I had to go to hell and back to do it, I would without a thought. To my surprise she laughed and this laugh made my heart so calm, it was a bit frightening.

“You are so much like your father. That stubbornness you both posses!” She said through her laugh and I couldn’t help but to smile.

“But how about your studies? And did you ever think of what will happen now after you’ve seen me?” She suddenly turned serious again and I just shook my head.

“I’m on school holiday. Remember in England school year starts in September.” I reminded her and she just nodded. “And no, I haven’t really thought about it, but there’s not much to think about. I just wanted to spend some time with my mother, is that something bad? I haven’t seen you for more than ten years and I need to know why. What happened to you and father, why is it that I was taken away from you and why did you never come to see me? I want to know everything I had missed over these ten years, I want to hear explanations of why I can’t even have a mother there for me?” I was getting a bit upset. This was the way our reunion goes after ten years? She’s worried about my father’s thoughts and school? What about me? Does she really not want to know anything about me?

“Oh, I’m sorry, Yura. It’s just… It’s just very shocking seeing you here in front of me. I could never had imagined this even in my wildest dreams!” She exclaimed while getting up from her seat. I looked at her with curiosity.

“Of course I’ll tell you everything, just let me get you both something to drink. Is orange juice alright?” I and oppa both nodded and she left for a minute to get our drinks. I looked at oppa and he was staring right at me.

“Are you sure it’s ok if I stay? This is your life’s story, it has nothing to do with me. I could come pick you up after a couple of hours.” He quietly said to me and I just shook my head.

“You know plenty about me as it is. Plus I need you here. I might hear something I don’t want to, so, please, just stay.” I looked into his eyes with a pleading look and he nodded in agreement and lightly squeezed my hand in support. At that moment my mother was returning and he very quickly let go of my hand. I guess he really didn’t want her to misunderstand our relationship.

As she placed the drinks in front of us and returned to her previous seat, I did not divert my look from her not even for a second. She cleared and began to speak. “So, you want to know exactly what happened ten years ago and why I and your father broke up, right?” I quickly nodded but kept silent. “I have to tell you, it might not be pleasant to hear this, but since you travelled so far just for that, I feel that it would not be fair to let you know. I’m just surprise your father hasn’t told you anything already.” She mumbled the last part under her breath, so I had a hard time understanding it, but I figured that it would be something along the lines of her being upset over the fact that I was kept in the dark about it for so long. It’s not like I wasn’t strong enough to take it in. I hoped.

“So, to know why it ended, you also need to know how it started.” She explained and I could tell this will be a long and quite emotional story.