the wedding 

'ms.yamaguchi? ohayo gozaimasu!'

i blinked my eyes and tried to rub the sleepiness away as i tried to focus my eyes on the side of the bed where i saw mama's fashion desighner smiling at me as some of our maids opened the venetian blinds and the curtains in my room. i squinted at the sun rays that filled my bedroom and sat up and tried to mumble a greeting to the 'intruders' who are in my bedroom.

'ohayo gozaimasu kagome-sama' i whispered as i tried to shake the sleepiness in my still sleepy brain, i wasnt in the mood for visitors and i really wasnt in the mood to even wake up much less than deal with other people. its been over a month since i last saw kyuhyun and he never bothered to call me or even send a txt..not that im his girlfriend...and that makes it so painful, im not his girlfriend just his 'fiance' who he has to marry because for a stupid business contract and nothing else.

i looked at my family picture on top of my bedside table and sighed..i wanted to have a marriage like my parents, i wanted to be a real wife in the true sense of the word, i want to be able to be the woman that my husband comes home to, i want to be his lover, his friend, and the mother of his kids...'papa, i dont want to get married'

ms.kagome smiled at me and showed me my wedding gown, it was a beautiful kimono since i requested to have a japanese wedding..i tried to find it in my heart to find happiness as i looked at the kimono infront of me...it didnt look too beautiful anymore. weddings are supposed to be a very happy occasion but for me..it felt like a funeral.

'i can dress myself kagome-sama, are my friends here already?' i asked her as i stepped down from my bed and got my robe

ms.kagome nodded her understanding 'ill send them up here, they can help you ria-chan...today is your wedding day, you have to look pretty'

i tried to smile at her though im not sure i succeeded but they left me alone and even said their congratulations and best wishes..what an irony, i didnt feel like celebrating. today is the big day...i wont be ria yamaguchi anymore, ill be ria cho...and today is the day im going to see cho kyuhyun again...for that jerk didnt even bother to help with the preparations, he was busy with shows in korea, china and abroad..

'help me papa...please tell me what to do' i whispered as i walked inside the bathroom 'can i drown myself in the tub on my wedding day?' 

i hurriedly finished my shower and got out of the bath wearing my towel when i saw a figure standing near my window...my heart literally stopped beating as i realized who it was..

'cho kyuhyun...' i whispered loud enough for him to hear

he turned around and gave me a smile that didnt quite reached his eyes 'ria-ah...you just got out of the shower i see'

i nodded and moved around to get my robe so i could be at least decent infront of him 'you shouldnt be here...do you want to say something to me? you could have just called you know'

'i just want...i just want to see you' he said

'yeah right...why bother? dont worry i'll be at the wedding...or are you here to tell me that you wont be there?' i told him half hoping he'll say yes and half hoping he'll say no

he sighed and sat on my bed 'even if i say i dont want to get married...i still wont be able to live thru the fact that i disobeyed my parents' he then looked at my kimono and smiled 'you'll look lovely wearing that'

it was my turn to sigh upon hearing him say those words..whatever happened to the sweet kyuhyun i met, who would tease me mercilessly yet made me laugh..who was this cold and uncaring bastard infront of me...

'get out cho kyuhyun...i want to be alone..and if you see sam and aia, let them know im waiting...please get out' i told him

he didnt budge an inch from my bed and just stared at me as if trying to measure my anger 'ria-ah are you mad at me?'

'no...im mad at everyone..now please get out..or do you want to help me dress??' i asked him sarcastically

'okay, okay..i'll get out...just be there' with that said he went out of my room and i had to hold on to a chair for balance...damn that bastard for treating me this way...

'ria-san!' i turned around and saw my bestfriends come in and they all welcomed me with a hug..i needed one 'i love him....damn it!! i didnt mean to love him!!' i screamed as the realization hit me

i would finally get married because of love after all but the sad part is my idiot of a husband didnt know i was in love with him...

***

'are you sure you want to do this ria-san?' sam asked me as we were in the bridal car

i looked at her and shook my head, we were inside the cho's limo on our way to a garden..since both our mothers would want a garden wedding..it was their wedding not mine..

aia looked at me and held my hand 'we can go somewhere..we can get out of here...'

i tried so hard not to let my tears fall upon hearing my friends say those words..i wanted to escape..i wanted to leave japan and forget everything...but i know it wouldnt be right..i would break a lot of people's hearts...what was it that they always say...sacrifice the life of one for the good of others..

i smiled at them and hugged them both 'i cant..as much as i want to i really cant...but thank you, i know you'll always be there for me..sam, be nice to heechul even for today' i told her 

she rolled her eyes but nodded just the same 'im doing this for you...i still loathe that imbecile'

'aia...just let yesung talk as much as he wants...he seems to be nervous around you anyway' i told aia and hugged them closer 'i love you...thanks for being there besties'

'ria-san!!! dont make us cry' aia squealed

i smiled at them both i couldnt have made it without them, after a few minutes we felt the car stop and the cho's uniformed chauffeur opened the door for us...

'this is it ria..are you sure?' sam asked again

'for the nth time ria...we can still leave' aia offered as they helped me out of the car...

i shook my head and held her hand 'i'll get married today...i have to..'

i sighed as we did the walk towards the garden where my mom, mr and mrs.cho, a few friends and relatives were waiting...and i didnt think kyuhyun would be there as well...i just prepared myself for the worst..

we were made to wait inside one of the rooms and aia excused herself for a minute to go to the bathroom, sammie and i busied ourselves with mundane talks about the weather and ended laughing because of it. i was about to stand up from the chair when aia came rushing in

'dont get married ria-san!! you cant do this!!' she said

'what??!!' sam and i both asked her

aia grabbed my hand and started pushing me out the door while she grabbed sam's hand on the other 'we have to leave..now! i wont let you marry that two timing ' she said

i stopped  when i heard her say that 'what do you mean by two timing aia-san?' 

she looked at me and shook her head 'nothing..we have to get out of here..now'

'not until you tell me what's going on...'i said 'please aia-san let me know, i need to know' i begged

she finally nodded and told me to go straight to the sides of the garden and out into the parking lot and i would find the answer i was looking for. i didnt waste time, i ran as fast as my high heeled shoes would allow me. i didnt know what i'll find but i was quite sure i wouldnt want to know...but i had to even if it meant i would suffer another heartbreak..

i stopped for a bit to catch my breath as i reached the cobbled stone path that led to the parking lot..i didnt know what exactly i was looking for so i just looked around, and true to what aia said..i found my answer...there just a few meters away from where i was standing stood  cho kyuhyun with a girl in his arms, it wouldnt take a genius to figure out that he was with haneul. i couldnt hear what they were saying but their body language said enough.

i tried not to cry when i saw them kiss and i knew right then and there i had to decide...whether to let kyuhyun be with the woman he loves or both us be trapped in a loveless marriage...love him enough to set him free...

it was  now or never...'cho kyuhyun!' i shouted

they both turned around and i walked towards them damn i can win an award for being a martyr and the greatest actress that ever lived...move over julia roberts..

'ria-ah...why...how did you find us?' he asked

i smiled at him and bowed to the girl he's with 'im ria yamaguchi..and i assume you're park haneul am i right?' i asked

she nodded at me and looked at kyuhyun..they were still holding each others hands and kyuhyun looked like he was going to protect her from anything that i would do...and that hurt the most, i wouldnt dream of hurting the woman he loves..

'i wouldnt do anything to her cho kyuhyun...i thought you know me by now' i whispered

he looked shocked as he heard me say those words but kept holding haneul's hand just the same..i sighed and removed the engagement ring on my finger, took his hand and left it there...

'im breaking off the engagement...im letting you go, i dont want to marry a man who loves someone else cho kyuhyun..i dont have dreams of becoming a martyr or a saint..' 

'what are you saying ria-ah' he asked in obvious confusion...but i could see the relief in his face bye, bye love, bye, bye happiness..i wanted to sing that line but forced myself to continue what i had started..

'my love isnt enough for the both of us...im not enough for you...dont worry i'll talk to our parents about my decision..ill make them understand' i said and smiled at haneul 'it was nice meeting you...'

with that i turned around and walked away from them before my tears would fall...then i felt kyuhyun grab my arm and forced me to turn around to face him...

'ria-ah...im sorry...choesong hamnida' he whispered as he tried to wipe my tears 

i pushed him away 'go cho kyuhyun...just go...and please tell your hyungs thank you...and gomenasai..i didnt mean to love you..i just couldnt compete..'

'be happy cho kyuhyun...'

with that said i ran inside and went back to my friends..they were waiting for me infront of the room and they all had worried expressions written on their faces..

i grabbed my bag and took of the veil i was wearing 'lets get out of here...'

they didnt asked any questions but helped me get out of my wedding dress as i wrote a letter for my mother and kyuhyun's parents..i have to leave..i need to leave japan...

***

whew!! i think this chapter is a bit long..i hoped you guys liked it...let me know :)