The first steer that he did after being brushed by a group of clouds was not hard, but it  sent some sort of satisfaction to his heart all the same.’ I did it. I got through one, i’ll get through a thousand more.’

Finding back his strength to be just like he was five years ago, left him smiling just a little bit wider, feeling just a little bit lighter . All previous ailments and insecurities flown away,  like  a butterfly shying away from touch.

He casted a hesitant sideway glance towards his cockpit mate, the man-boy....his man-boy and now his very much needed anchor . savior.

Changmin who was then watching Yoochun caught himself in a staring competition as the ‘acting’ captain glanced at him after successfully managing the plane through a thin group of clouds.

Suddenly to Yoochun the clouds were less intimidating but more inviting, the wheels more warming than the leather melting fire and suddenly, he was soaring.

He was soaring and it was all thanks to the now very much silent and awkward, man-boy.

But the impatient grouch of someone sent Yoochun down his stairs of despair as the bleakness f the flight caught him.

“...are you ready to change course now? Or would you rather join your captain in his journey to the underworld?...huh”

Anger flared through Yoochun as the words left the masked terrorist, his fist tightened around the handles  but the threats hidden under the noncholant words left him calming his bunched of nerves, all afraid and cautious.

Silent nod was what Yoochun was able to convey.

“good! Turn this plane around and head to the south. Decrease our height and start preparing for landing as soon as you can see the lines of mountains....”

“....will there be  enough space for us to land?...”

“there’s a valley of forest behind it. We’ll land there understand?”

“but..but is there enough land for us to land properly? I need at least a few kilometers of bare land in order to land this!” insecurity presented itself in scrunched brows on Yoochun’s forehead.

“well that is not my problem is it? It has a few distance of uncovered grounds but other’s were of huge trees and logs...well i’m sure you can think of something right Co-pilot sshi?”

The taunt was left to the wind as Yoochun thought hard of how he was going to land this big bird of metal on such unprepared ground, adding problems to his already unbalanced scale.

‘landing this thing after years of avoiding it, is hard enough...now i have to do it with a probably shorter touch down lane?...i guess trouble is my BEST friend...’

-----

As the lines of shaded forest filled his sight , Yoochun found himself unconciously tightening  his  grip.

A wave of nausea swept through as he find himself in a need to empty his stomach, gagging reflex in order as the shouts of help from his past filled his eardrums. All sad, pained and accusing.

‘you killed us!’

‘it was all your fault!’

‘why didn’t you save us? Why did you let us die?’

The whispers of his past pulled his stuttering limbs which were then flying though shakily , back to the hard, unforgiving and harsh nightmare.

“Yoochun-sshi?? Are you alright?” Changmin’s hesitant voice pulled him out his past.

His raggard breathing slowed itself, as Yoochun found himself pulling  together, relying slightly on the trust and patience the taller man was emitting.

Shaking his head slightly, Yoochun said , “ no...But i will be .. thank you Changmin-ah”.

A smile was shared and Yoochun found  himself  hoping  more than anything to survive this flight, to do well. All because he couldn’t let the world be deprieved of that comforting smile , warm and soft around the edges, leaving a tingling feel of acceptance and assurance.

Yoochun steadily lowered the plane as he caught sight of the bare land mentioned by the masked man.

Wheels were set out as they neared the ground, but as thought before, the land was too short for a safe landing ...

With still a few metres off the ground the plane was faced with lines of never ending tree. All green, strong and rooted, but they were too close to turn, too low to fly and all they could do was gripped their seats tightly while muttering prayers , holding close to them their dreams and hope.

----

The first graze of the branches, was but a mere breeze to the flying metal. A mere touch and a light graze but it promised so much more, from the lines of tall trunk trees lining their vision field.

The force of collision from the lined trees took landing the plane onto a whole new level. The metals of it’s wings bent awkwardly as branch after branch of strangely huge trees ramped onto the plane’s side.

The shrill emergency alarm sets off. Ringing with a nerve wrecking insistency, sending Yoochun further down his ladder of insecurity.

The voices got louder, the fire got hotter.

“noooooo..help us..”

“don’t let us die again Yoochun-sshi..”

“don’t be a killer again”

Yoochun nearly let go of his wheels, if not for  sudden add of weight atop of his sweaty hands.

Changmin’s hand.

All warm and comforting and he was on a roll again, because then he knew that he couldn’t change the past. No matter how badly he wants to re-write the accident he can’t. It happened and he lived through it and that is that.

Suddenly the shrieks of past that had been haunting him seem more like just a few hopeful remarks not a reminder to drag him down and chain him to it, but more of the fact that they didn’t want the past to repeat itself.

So, Yoochun held on even tighter because now his not fighting the past, but he was fighting with it.

#############

Changmin saw Yoochun’s orbs went farther than the forest across the boundaries a normal vision should ever have and suddenly he understood. He saw the fear creeping in, the insecurities bubbling in but he also saw hope. Because anyone who can still feel the pain, can still change, can still move forward. All if they find the strength in their past, to push them forward.

Because the  cuts that we experience in the past, are scabs that covers ones weakness. A strength to hold onto , a bond to pull through.

A tug of faith. A pillar of hope.

Seeing as the C0-pilot was too lost to acknowledge him, Changmin moved his hand and slowly descend it on top of Yoochun’s shaking one. He tightened his grip hoping that the other would find comfort in the gesture.

And slowly he felt the other returning  the action though hesitnat at first. It gradually increased as the heaviness of the situation sets in . all because the only way to survive always starts with you believing that you can.

And changmin saw the faith shining in Yoochun’s  caramel orbs then. All unfiltered desire and raw emotions but mainly just a warm grip on the undecided future all tightly wrapped in a bundle of endless faith and prayer. Then Changmin knows that no matter what happens they’ll survive , they’ll win this war of faith cause they have already believed.

And believe make things real.

####

As the lines of trees thickened, the shaking of the big bird of metal increased alongside the cry of anguish the other pasenger’s had then resorted to.

The  tires were lowered but it did nothing more than add a few more surface for the brash friction to brush by.

And the last thing Yoochun was able to decipher, was the sickening crack of his ship. All awkward cracks throughout plane, throughout  his  pride, his soul.

#####

As the plane shook Yunho find himself gripping tight to his life, his faith. Mumbling prayers for his and his families safety.

“...because they’re all i had, have and will ever have. So please not them..., just please not them....”

Finding it hard to let go of his earthly heaven , his family Yunho tighened his grips on Jaejoong with a new resolution.

“if i can’t save them...I’ll go with them...”

And with that he curled himself over the shivering mess of his wide-eyed lover, Jaejoong.

“...ch..Changmin..uri Changmin...ottoke??...uri changmin....Yunnie-ah...you won’t leave me right?? Changmin won’t leave me right?? Who’s taking care of our Minnie??”

Taking in the state of his lover Yunho slowly put his self conciousness and insecurities aside cause now his lover needs him..his family needs him.

“shhh..shhh...Joongie-ah...shh..it’s ok...i won’t leave you...Changmin won’t leave you .. we both won’t...we’ve both promised each other right? We’ll stick together till the end. We’ll ....”

“..but..but Yunnie...Changmin is not here?? What if he gets hurt?? Who’s going to protect him when he is so far away from us?? Does he remember the promise??His promise??Will he remember it when he finally finds someone to spend his life with? When he finds his own family??”

“Joongie-ah, Changmin’s a big boy, i’m sure he can take care of himself. I’m sure because we’ve taught him well. So just have faith in him.ok? have faith in us...and the promise? You know changmin is above it especially concerning the few most important things in his life ; promises and family. So just...just wait and he’ll come ok??”

“..but..but..Yunnie-ah...”

“no buts Joongie-ah just remember that no matter who Changmin ends up with, we will i repeat WILL always be his family . You can add family but you can’t cut them off because they’re all family!...”

Finally able to convince his lover and also himself ,Yunho linked their fingers together. All the while praying harder for a brighter tomorrow  , for a tomorrow together.

‘Yes for a tomorrow together...’

Jaejoong not able to contain his whirl of emotions anymore just pulled Yunho in relishing in the warmth his lover seems to always emit . A warmth that people always associate with families.

Protected and loved.

#####

“What’s happening? Why is the plane shaking like this? Is it suppose to be like this? Someone get Sunggyu!” the shrill cry of Xia’s high pitched voice rang through the cabin only to be drowned by yet another cry of fear from the other passengers.

The fear now is not on the raid , the sudden hijack, but more of the unscheduled turn of event.

 But really accidents are never scheduled.

The heaviness of the situation drowned Xia’s cry of attention making him feel a little more insecure a little more scared , a little more human.

“..Zuno...I’m sorry...”

“...i’m sorry...hyung...but i..i think i can’t make it back to Korea...”

“i don’t think i’ll be able to see you one last time before i go...”

“but...will you..wait for me? I know i can’t see you in heaven but can you at least me bofore i ...i...’sob’..’sob’...sorry hyung i’m a bad ddongsaeng..”

“i couldn’t save you..your ddongsaeng couldn’t save you...”

Lost in his own well of past-clinged- guilt, Xia let out soft sobs while spewing apologies every now and then.

Apologies not answered , not heard by anyone because it was not meant to be heard by any . At least no one living. Only his brother.

Only his dead brother. His dead future, darkened past and stoned heart

a/n- to all the readers and subscribers i am truely sorry...for both the super long hiatus and this super short and not that appetizing chapter but i will try better..:))" but for the time being enjoy this first ok??