“Don’t be my friend, you will get yourself killed.”

It wasn’t the first time that she seen him in the café because every evening he would be here, and maybe that was why she was here too.

             He was always dressed in dark colors, more of black than any other. This time, he was dressed in a plain-black shirt with black jeans paired with a pair of grey loafer; and maybe that was what attracted her attention, his overwhelming dark aura that spelled out his mysterious.

             She watched as he nodded to the owner of the café and went to take a seat at one of the far end corner. It was his usual sitting and surprisingly it was always empty when he came. Even though the café was filled with people, it was like it was reserved specially for him.

             And she will always choose the seat whereby she could see him clearly, and the options weren’t many since the seat was too far back. That was also probably why she would always reach an hour earlier to find a good spot.

             The first time she saw him was when her mum suddenly decided not to cook and asked her to eat out on her own before coming home. And when her mum hanged up the call, she was standing right outside this café that she doesn’t even know existed (even though it’s pretty near her place). She doesn’t have any idea why but perhaps she was too caught up in her life that she hardly knows anything that was happening around her (or a newly (?) opened café in her neighborhood in this case).

             When she pushed the door open, she thought that it would be filled with people because it was almost evening. But luckily for her, a seat was available at the far end corner and she was glad she doesn’t have to starve that night. She went over to the seat, ordered her dinner, waited for it to arrive before gulping it down like a starving girl. She looked at her watch and it showed 18:31, it was a pretty early dinner for her considering that she always have it around seven or eight o’clock. Satisfied, she picked up her bag and went to pay for the bill at the counter.

             She was standing at the counter waiting for a staff to attend to her when the bell rang, indicating that a customer came in. She turned her head to see a back view of a lean guy dressed in navy-blue knitted shirt paired with black jeans. She raised one of her brows at his fashion sense, it was simple but nice. “Sorry for the wait,” the staff came and took her bill; she looked at her and gave her a smile before looking at the guy again. The said guy was sitting at where she was five minutes ago, and when he sat down facing the counter, she could clearly see his face.

             And she was surprised at how gorgeous he looked; she had never seen a guy like this before. His hair was dark, wavy and center-parted, and a guy wasn’t supposed to look good with a center-parted hairstyle in the first place. But he pulled it off so well he was like an elegant royal being that doesn’t take from no one. He had a V-shaped face that most girls crave for, with pointed (but not over pointed) nose and pouty pink lips. Don’t start with his eyes, it was too mesmerizing to stare at and she wasn’t intending to lose herself back there.

             “Here’s your change,” the staff’s words then drew her attention back. She smiled and took the change, putting it into her wallet and took one last look at the guy before leaving the café, secretly wishing that she could see that perfection again.

             But it was like she was fated to see the guy because for the next few days, for reason she doesn’t know, her mum told her to eat out on her own. So when she went to the café again and again every evening for that few days, she caught the guy again; which was when she noticed the guy always comes at the same timing and it seemed like he’s been doing that for very long, long before she first visited the café.

She has been observing him for the past few months, noticing his little habits and felt like she kind of understand him through all these little things.

             This time, he ordered a plate of tomato-based spaghetti and a cup of ice coffee. After finishing the main course, he would put the utensils aside for the staff to collect and position his ice coffee in front of him. The ice coffee was refillable so he would always stay for a while before leaving.

             She watched as he looked out the French window, looking at the people walking past the café and down the street. It was night time already and the outside was lit up, it was a comfortable cozy night.

             It has already been a couple of months where she would just sit and watch him but she has never seen him smile before. His expression was always of that melancholy ones, like he was burdened with a lot of things, like he was living somewhere or doing something he doesn’t like, or maybe he was just depressed.

             She doesn’t know how long she would be doing this but eating out every night just to see a guy that she doesn’t even know the name of, seemed to increase her expenses by…quite a lot. She sighed, looking at her cup of ice coffee before taking a deep breath.

             Maybe she should take the first step?

             “I’m sorry, do you mind?” She took her cup of ice coffee and went over to the table at the far end corner, standing at the empty seat opposite of him. He looked at her with a baffled look and glanced around the place for a second. It has past dinner time and the café was pretty empty by now. “There seemed to be a lot of empty tables,” he calmly replied.

             She gulped a ball of saliva down and pulled out the seat before sitting down shamelessly. He stared at her like she was a weirdo before letting out a chuckle. “Are you interested in me?” He leaned forward on the table, asking a question that caught her off guard. “—just because I look good, or something?”

             She swears she felt like digging a hole and hides in there, or probably buries him in it. “Excuse me?” She hissed, a little off pitch. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been stalking me for the past few months, I don’t know, it was kind of obvious. What do you want?”

             She decided that she would bury him if she was able to dig a hole at that moment. Why was this fellow being such a jerk?

             He smiled, but it appeared more like smirk. It wasn’t the kind of smile she was expecting from a good-looking guy like him. It was more like a pathetic smirk that a guy wears to prevent people from getting close to him.

             He literally poured down the cup of ice coffee down his throat before putting it down lightly; the cup then came into contact with the surface of the table with a soft thud. “Don’t get close to me, don’t be my friend, you won’t end up good.” He said low, making it sound more like an order than an advice. And he left.

             Well, she kind of expected it, being regarded not as a friendly person but a random one who just randomly comes and said hi. Maybe she would be offended if it happens to her.

             But heck, must that guy say such words? What the hell is with ‘you won’t end up good’?

             She sighed, wrapping her hands around the cup. What a disappointment in his attitude.

She doesn’t know if what she did anger that guy, or not; because for the next few days, he did not patronize the café like he always did.

             “You know,” she heard someone spoke, and when she tilted her head to see the boss of the café standing behind the counter, she raised one of her brows. “You said something?” she questioned. The boss was looking at her with this expression that she couldn’t comprehend. Like…a sympathetic look. “You should heed his advice. You know, leaving him alone and stuff.”

             “How do you—…”

             “It wasn’t hard to see, I’m here every day, he’s here every day, and you’re here every day. I saw how you watched him.”

             She lowered her head in shame, ugh, what a disgraceful action to be seen by someone.

             “He wasn’t the kind of person that you should get involved in.” the boss continued his sentence. “You know him?” She raised her head up and asked.

             “He’s always here, like I said, and I watched him too, he’s a regular to be exact. That’s why I was able to tell you that it’s better to leave him alone.”

             She sighed, stood up and went over to the counter. “Bill, please,” she said.

             The boss of the café raised a brow before heaving a sigh. “Here’s your change.”

             She took over the coins and put them into her wallet. Before leaving, she gave him a look, “I don’t think I needed anyone to tell me who I am supposed to get involved with. But thanks for your concern.” She said.

             When she stepped outside the café, it was already eight o’clock at night. The sky was dark and the city was lit up with the street lights. She took a breath of the fresh air and heaved a sigh out. “The air’s fresh huh?”

             She quickly looked over her shoulder to see the guy standing behind her. He was different this time, dressed in an oversized red hoodie with a normal jeans paired with sneakers. Was it because of her that he changed his timing, from evening to night?

             His hands were in the front pocket of his hoodie when he stood near her. “It was cold, why are you out this late?”

             Waiting for you, she wanted to say. “Having my dinner, you? I thought you will be here in the evening but it’s so late now.”

             “I had something on just now, and I haven’t been here for the past few days.” He answered as he stood rooted to the ground, staring at her. It was awkward for a few seconds when he break into a smile. “You remind me of someone,” He smiled, “See you around.” He said and pulled the door open before stepping into the café.

              She watched as he nodded to the boss and went to the far end corner to sit. Well…at least now she knew that he wasn’t avoiding her.

             She smiled.

             But the smile doesn’t stay for long.

             ‘You remind me of someone.’

             Don’t fall in love with a guy that tells you that, you will be nothing more than the second best.

             At least that was what she read from one of her many stories book.

He was baffled when she sat down in front of him the next evening.

              “I’m sorry, but did I say anything that makes you misunderstood?” He questioned after she comfortably put her bag aside. “What do you mean?” she asked with a small smile playing on her lips.

              “I mean, I don’t remember we were close to the extent we could sit together, no?” he raised a brow. She bit her bottom lip and gave him an awkward smile. “My name’s Heena. It’s not too late to make friends right?” she held out her right hand for a handshake but the guy just stared at her like she was a weirdo.

              “Are you okay up there? I remembered saying we are not going to be friends.” He snickered with sarcasm. “Just your name, please?” she pleaded with both her hands clapped together and placed under her chin.

              He sighed and shook his head. If she doesn’t want to move, so be it; but he wasn’t going to continue their conversation, and she seemed to sense it.

              Well, sitting in the same table was already a big improvement. She thought to herself.

              When the both of them finished their food, the staff came to collect the plates. “Finally got to sit with your dream guy?” the staff teased. Heena blushed with her head held low and he was glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. “What?” She asked when the staff walked away. He was still staring at her as though she was interesting to look at.

              “What do you know about me?” He returned with a question, crossing his arms and putting them on the table. “Why are you even interested in me? Do you even know me? How well do you know me?”

              She blinked. No, she doesn’t really know him. She was just interested in him because he looked cool and mysterious and that’s all that triggered her curiosity in knowing him. “I don’t, and that’s why I’m here to be your friend isn’t it? I want to know you.” She replied firmly.

              He sneered, shaking his head as he looked down at his arms. “Heena, I’m serious. Leave me alone.”

              “Why?” she don’t get it. One moment he was treating her nicely and the next day he was acting like they weren’t even friends.

              Or they were not to begin with.

              “Just get away from me.” And he left.

It has been another few days where she didn’t get to see him. Was it that he really avoided her now? Or was he really that busy?

             Sighing, she put her hands into the front pocket of her hoodie. It was so late at night now and her mother decided to ask her takeaway supper for them at this ridiculous timing. Well…the café it is. Their food was actually pretty good, and it’s near too.

             “Unexpected of you,” the boss said when he saw her stepping into the café. “Yeah, well, hungry.” She shrugged and stared at the menu. “Can I have two set C, takeaway please?”

             “Sure thing,” the boss gave her a smile and told her to take a seat while he goes to the kitchen. She looked around the store, it was pretty late but there were still people around. Probably like her mum, hungry at the unusual timing; or probably just hanging out with friends, and have talks until they were not aware of the time. There was a couple too, probably only able to meet up only so late at night because their work ended late. She sighed, and then noticed that at the far end corner, there was a familiar guy sitting there with his face buried in his hands.

             “Hey…” she walked over to him and sat down opposite him, “Didn’t expect you to be here.” She continued.

             He looked up from his hands and when he saw her, he closed his eyes while running a hand over his disheveled hair.

             “Which part of ‘leave me alone’ you don’t understand?” he questioned rudely as he stared at her.

             “From the moment you talked to me outside the café, I deemed you as a friend.” She answered firmly. “Now, why so you look so worn out?”

             She wasn’t concern with anything else, except the fact that the guy that has always kept himself cool and composed was kind of losing himself today. His hair was in a mess; probably he ran his hand over it many times. His face was almost pale, his eye bags sagging below his charismatic eyes.

             It was quiet and it seemed like time had stopped when she asked the question.

              “…Today was my fiancée’s death anniversary.” He said with his eyes down on the table.      

              …Fiancée?

              …He had a fiancée?

             “How did she die?” she decided that this question was better than asking him why he had a fiancée. What kind of question was that anyway? ‘You had a fiancée?’ duh.

             “…Killed.”

             She did not respond, instead, she leaned forward and reached out for his face with her hand. He was taken aback but didn’t move an inch when her fingers trailed along his face. “You looked so depressed.” She said with a hint of concern.

             He closed his eyes and hung his head low, “That’s why I said don’t be my friend.”

             “And what does it got to do with that?”

             After very long, he lifted his head up and his eyes flicker opened with tears welling up in his eyes. “She was killed because of me.”

             ...

             “…I’m a killer.”

             …

             “You’re a what?” she squinted and for a moment she wished that she heard it wrongly.

             “I kill for a living.” He explained. “We met in this café. She was like you, she came to befriend with me. We got along well, she knew what I was and she accepted me for who I am. She was the light in my dark life back then, and I love her so much.”

             He swallowed a ball of saliva and took a glance at her, taking it as a cue for him to continue when she doesn’t seem like she wanted to run away.

              “I stopped taking on missions after I proposed to her. People above weren’t very happy about it but they let me be, they insisted that my hands will be itchy to kill because I was trained to do it, and they insisted that I’ll be back soon.”

             “And true enough, enemy came after me. They killed her.” He sighed rather heavily before looking up to check for her reaction again. He didn’t expect himself to tell these things to someone like her but maybe because she reminded him too much of his beloved.

             “I became lost; I didn’t know what the goal in my life was. I wanted to revenge, I went back to killing. A killer will always be a killer, it will never change. I was too naïve to think that I could live a normal life... I couldn’t.”

             “Every day I come here because it was the café we met. This place was filled with our memories. It was painful for me but other than here, I don’t have any other places that remind me of her.”

             A tear slipped out from the corner of her eye before she could realize. She wasn’t sad for the fact that he had a fiancée; she was heartbroken from hearing his story. He definitely deserve better, no matter what he does for a living.

             “Don’t you find me horrifying? I’m a person who specializes in killing, a person who kills for a living. Would you still want to be friend with me after that?”

             “Your food is ready!” the boss shouted from the counter for her to collect her takeaways. He stood up and straightens his shirt. “I’ll be here every day still. But it’s better if you stopped talking to me. I won’t love another person, and I don’t want another person to die for me.”

             He sighed once more and walked away, but before he could reach for the door, Heena stood up from her seat and turned to him. “Why do you come every day even though it reminds you of the pain?” She asked across the café and it caught almost everyone’s attention.   

             He swallowed a ball of saliva as he stared ahead. “Because the longer I was gone for, the harder it is to come back.” He replied aloud.

She doesn’t goes to the café as often anymore.

             Occasionally she would go and have dinner when her mum didn’t cook; occasionally she would order takeaway because she had a lot work on hand to do and she doesn’t want to spend too much time in the café. Whichever it is, she doesn’t notice the guy anymore.

             …joke.

             The first thing she noticed when she entered the café was the seat at the far end corner. No matter whether it was late at night or early morning; she would always laid her eyes on that seat to see if the guy was there.

             Sometimes, he would be there, eating and drinking his refillable ice coffee. Sometimes, he would look up and had eye contact with her, and sometimes, she would pretend that she wasn’t looking at him.

             But whichever it is, they don’t talk anymore, and it was like they have never met.

             She doesn’t know why, it wasn’t like she was afraid of him just because she knew of his past or his job, nor was it because she was afraid to be killed.

             Or was it…?