#nowplaying Jung Joon Young - Spotless mind 

Oneshot inspired by the song above. Really a very nice song. 

Note: Words in maroon red are the lyrics to the song, lyrics copied from this website

-*-*-

He lay there in the bed, with his hands beside his body lifelessly, staring at the ceiling teary eyed. He wasn’t sure why he was tearing, he can’t remember.

              “Can you remember who you are?” The doctor asked, standing at the end of the bed with a clipboard.

              “Lee Taemin,” He answered effortlessly.

              “Well Mr. Lee, is there anyone who could fetch you from the hospital?”

              He thought for a while, before shaking his head in hesitant. He doesn’t have his family in the country right now, so he was alone.

              “Is there really no one? We can’t let you go off alone; can I have your cellphone please?”

              He blinked once before nodding. The doctor approached the side table and took his cellphone, before scrolling through the contact list, only to find one number in it.

              “Is it okay if I find her, Mr. Lee?”   

              Who? He thought, but nodded anyway.

“Hi, you’re the only contact we found in his cellphone, can you make a trip to the hospital right now? We can’t let him go without someone.”

              She went stunned for a moment, before coming back to sense when the other party urged her to speak. She took a glance at the guy in front of her before mouthing a ‘yes’ and hung up the call.

              “Who was it?” He asked as he scooped up a spoon of rice before delivering it to his mouth.

              “Someone I know,” She mumbled before putting down her utensils. “I’ve to go somewhere now, I’ll call you again.” She said, leaving immediately after grabbing her bag from the seat next to her, giving her husband no chance to reply her.

              She walked to the main road, looking around for a cab anxiously and wondering why was there always no cab when she needed one.

She looked at her watch as she counted how many minutes she had left before she was late for work. It was 08:13 in the morning and her work starts at 08:30 sharp. She needs a cab now, or anyone who can drive her to the destination.  , she thought.

              “Hey you need a ride?”

              A black sports car stopped in front of her with one of the windows rolled down, in which she bent a little to look in and see who was talking, before finding the guy very familiar.

              “Do I know you?” She asked, but he did not answer. Instead, he opened the door and urged her to hop on when the cars behind began honking.

               “I’m sorry,” She said after getting in, feeling apologetic for letting him get honked at. “No it’s okay, don’t take it to heart.” He said with a smile as he stepped on the accelerator.

               “Don’t you remember me by the way? I moved in yesterday, next to you.”

               It was then images started running into her mind as flashback, before remembering that she was greeted by the same guy yesterday evening when she ended work, but she was just too tired to notice.

               “Oh, I think I remembered.” She blinked as she turned and stared at his side profile.

               “And you don’t seem to be in the right mood last night when I introduced myself, anything wrong?” He asked, concentrating on the road but not forgetting to turn and gave her a smile that warmed up her heart.

               “It’s just…” She smiled and leaned back against the seat, “I got scolded yesterday for making a mistake at work. It was only my first day of work so…I’m kind of disappointed in myself.”

               “Oh,” he pursed his lips together as he made a right turn before reaching the building she worked at.

               “Oh? I didn’t even—”

               “You forgot to take off your staff pass last night, I guess you were too depressed.” He laughed, “Now go before you’re late. You still have enough time for a cup of coffee to start off the day.”

               She smiled in embarrassment. “Thank you,” She said before getting off. “You’re welcome. Have a nice day, Selene Kim.” She heard him saying before he drove off.

               How did he know her name? She thought. “Aish, the staff pass.”

“Hi, may I know where Lee Taemin is?”  She asked as soon as she approached the counter.

               “So basically, he only had a few scratches here and there, it’s not very serious so don’t worry about it.” The doctor explained, “But we found out he lost some of his memory, since he can’t remember who you are when we asked about it.”

               “What?” She asked. She wasn’t sure what she was hearing, does that mean he forgot her?

               “Well, it’s normal to lose some memory after an accident, especially when it involved head injuries. We did a scan for him but it didn’t show anything abnormal, so it’s better if you will bring him back to us if you sense anything wrong.”

               She looked at the guy sitting on the bed, looking clueless as he stared at her in confusion.

               He doesn’t remember her, but he felt something twisted in his heart. It was his first time seeing her, but he doesn’t know why his heart seemed to be hurting.

               “You mean he forgot about me? Just me?” She asked again to make sure, was it something to be happy about that he forgot about her? She knows that he has been suffering ever since she left, it wasn’t like she wanted to leave, she had no choice. So is it better now that he can’t remember her?

               “We tried asking him about his family, he could answer almost everything. But when it comes to you—” The doctor paused and handed her his cellphone. “He can’t answer.”

               She took over the phone and indeed, her number was the only contact in it and it was named S.K wifey.

               “Is there a specific reason why I’m the only one he doesn’t remember?” She asked quietly, rubbing her thumb on the screen of his cellphone as she took a glance of him. Sighing, she looked down at the phone and saw a photo of them as the wallpaper; which reminded her that she had the same wallpaper three months ago.

               “Patients will tend to forget the one who caused them the most pain in life.” The doctor said as he signed on the file, “He can be discharged now.”

“Lee Taemin.”

               She turned around almost immediately after slotting her key into the keyhole. “Oh my God,” She heaved a sigh to relieve the shock in her heart.

               “I’m sorry, did I scare you?” He laughed as he reached into his pocket for keys. “Yes you did, Mr. Lee Taemin.”

                The corners of his lips pulled up into a smile. “I thought you probably didn’t hear it when I introduced myself last night, so I guess I should reintroduce myself.”

               She giggled and walked up to him, making him feel butterflies inside his tummy for reasons he doesn’t know.

               “Selene Kim,” She said, handing out a hand towards him with a big smile on her face.

               “Lee Taemin,” He shook her hand, “And you forgot to remove your staff pass again.”

“Excuse me?”

               She was walking in front of him, leading the way as she walked to the park that the both of them always went to. She doesn’t want to answer him; she wasn’t ready to face him, yet.

               “Can you stop for a while?”  He asked while following her but no matter how much he spoke, she just won’t turn back.

               He doesn’t know why, he felt so relieved to have her in sight. It was like looking at her was a rare thing and now she was standing just in front of him.

I don’t remember, I don’t know

Did we love?

I really don’t know, it’s not in my memory

Did we break up?

“Be my girlfriend?” He asked with a bouquet of red rose.

               “I fell in love at first sight with you, on the day I moved in.” He smiled when she took the bouquet and sniffed it. “And what makes you think I’ll accept you?” She asked with a hint of tease.

               “After I realized you love me too.” He bit his bottom lip before pulling her in for a short kiss.

               “So you actually thought I didn’t know that you were feigning sleep on my shoulder when I went over to your house for a movie marathon?” He whispered softly, “Don’t worry; I’ll keep it a secret.” He winked.

She stood in front of him. She never knew that this day will come again, with him in front of her, with choked with a big knot and tears beginning to form in her dry eyes.

               “Do I know you?” He asked, rather formally.

               She felt as though someone just clenched her heart tightly. A guy that she loved so much, a guy that she had so many memories with, simply forgets who she was, forget all of their memories.

               “I guess I do know you, right? Because I…” He frowned with his hand placed over his chest. “It hurts.”

               Her tears fell at that sentence. Why was he still feeling pain even though he had forgotten about her? He was innocent, why can’t he just be released from this misery?                 

               “Why…” He felt weird, he felt like he shouldn’t see her tears. He walked up to her and circled her with his arms. He doesn’t know why, he doesn’t remember, he felt like he had done that too many times that it was already an action registered in his mind.

               “Who…who are you?” He asked quietly with his hand running down her back as she buried her face into his knitted top.

Who are you that you are crying in front of me?

Who are you that you come into my arms?

“I’ll put your name as S.K wifey,” He murmured to himself as he played with his phone. “I’ll put you as T.M idiot, is that alright?” She laughed before snatching his phone away and entering into one of the random games that he installed previously.

               “Yeah sure, wifey, anything you say.” He smiled and pecked a kiss on her forehead.

She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and took a step back after realizing she was too close to what used to be hers.

               She wanted to leave; she doesn’t want to see him, and so she took another step back.

               He grabbed her wrist when she attempted to take another step back.

It’s a sickness, I’m a patient

Erase all the painful memories

I don’t know myself either

So there’s no way you will know either

He grabbed her wrist when she turned away.

               “Please, don’t leave me.” He pleaded with tears visible in his eyes.

“Can you tell me who you are?” He asked, “Why am I feeling flustered when I see your tears?”

                “I’m sorry, I…I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked when she felt another knot sitting in .

I’m flustered by seeing

Your face for the first time and your tears

Don’t cry, those tears look so sad

“I’m sorry, I can’t love you anymore.” She looked at the ground, and her vision was starting to get blurry due to the overflowing of tears. She doesn’t want to look at his sad face, she can’t see him cry, and she doesn’t bear to.

I don’t remember, I don’t know

Did we love?

I really don’t know, it’s not in my memory

Did we break up?

“I…I do know you right?” He asked, “I…”

               She was stunned when she saw his eyes getting red.

               “Can you tell me why am I crying?” He asked again, lifting a finger up to his face and wiping off the tear that dropped, as if to confirm whether he really was crying.

I don’t know you

It’s my first time seeing you

I don’t know anything

But why is this?

What are these tears, flowing from my eyes?

“I’m pregnant, I’ve to marry him. I’m sorry. It was my fault, it was all my fault.”  

It’s a sickness, I’m a patient

Erase all the painful memories

I probably know you

I probably loved you a lot

That’s why I probably erased you

“I used to…love you right?” He questioned, but she just won’t say anything other than sorry.

               “Which was why I probably erased you from my memory…” And he let go of her hand.

I probably know you

I probably loved you a lot

That’s why I probably erased you

He wandered around the town aimlessly, like a lost kid looking for his family. He wasn’t sure where he was heading to, he just know that he needs to move on, but…

                ‘I miss you.’

               He sent her a text with the only thing he had on him right now. Rubbing his thumb on the screen of his phone, he looked at the wallpaper with a heavy heart. Things had changed so much that the joy captured seemed like a lifetime away. It was a Sunday morning and if she was still around, they would probably be cuddling on the bed together with no worries for the world.

               Because whenever he’s with her, he sees nothing else.

               It has been three months since she left, which also means he was in hell for three months already. He has been crying himself to sleep every day, and waking up crying still. He couldn’t erase her, so he endured days after days without her, but he was somehow trapped. He literally couldn’t live; his heart was filled with pain.

               He love her, he love her more than life itself. How can she leave so easily? It was something he asks himself every day. And why can’t he forget her as fast as she forgets him?

                ‘Please come back.’

               He sent another text. He doesn’t want to give up yet. Not when he loves her so much, he just can’t.

               “I’m pregnant.”

               It hurts. It hurt him so badly he can’t respond when she said that, giving her a chance to slip away from him, from his life. He can’t do it, letting her go; he can’t do it like he thought he could.

               “I’m sorry,” She said.

               Will sorry actually mean anything? How can you just enters someone’s life, mess it up, and leaves after saying just ‘sorry’? He was tired, his heart was tired.

                ‘I’m sorry, I wanted to forget you too, but you gave me too much to remember.’

               It was the last text he sent before he felt himself flying through the air. Before he knew it, he couldn’t feel anything. A tear dropped from the side of his eye, he miss her so much.