"Himchan? Chan ah?"

Himchan stirred in his sleep at the familiar voice and when his brain finally registered it, his eyes shot wide open and immediately sat up. He blinked a few times, somehow not being able to trust himself with what he just heard. Himchan turned his head to either side and searched the room to find any traces of her.

He was sure that he heard Jieun's voice. It was impossible for him to believe that the voice he heard in his sleep was just his imagination; it was all too vivid to be a dream and her voice kept on ringing in his ears.

The feeling was just too real but Himchan shook his head a little after thinking for a while at how impossible it would be for Jieun to be here. It has already been a week after he left her and somehow he felt a little stupid now at how he realised that he really, really couldn't be without her.

Himchan rubbed the exhaustion out of his face and ran his hand through his hair after realising that fact. It became even harder for him at one point when Jieun couldn't stop calling him and when he didn't pick up, she would leave voicemails or text messages. When Yongguk and Zelo who Himchan had also avoided started calling him, Himchan had no other choice but to shut off his phone and from then on, he felt like he was the loneliest man in the world.

Finally deciding to get up, he pulled the sheets away from him and headed for the shower to get ready for another lonely day. Knowing that there was no one waiting for him anymore, his shower time became longer than usual. It kind of bothered him how the bathroom suddenly smelled of a faint lavender scent and it instantly reminded him of her. He quickly thought of what to have for breakfast to distract himself from the memories of her and it seemed to work a bit, but then his stomach started to grumble loudly and that was when he decided to finally get out.

He dried himself a little before wrapping the towel around his waist and then opened the door that leads him back into his room.

Himchan thought that his heart might of skipped a beat and his breathing halted when he saw her standing right in front of his bed, with flushed cheeks and eyes so wide that stared back at him. Himchan and the figure in front of him exchanged a few blinks of confusion and it suddenly felt like his breathing came back to normal when he heard the same voice ringing in his ears as opened.

"Himchan" she smiled gently at him. Himchan still couldn't respond, still confused, shocked, excited and every other feeling left in between.

Jieun smiled a little wider and boldly stepped towards him. Himchan's brain had then decided that she was real, and not just an imagination of a crazy, lonesome guy, when her skin made contact with his as she pulled him and sat him down on the bed.

Jieun took a seat on the bed beside him and only now did Himchan notice that she was holding a towel in her hands. She lifted her arms and placed the towel over his wet hair. They shared a few glances as she helped him dry his hair, since it seemed like he was suddenly incapable of doing things on his own.

It suddenly felt like how they used to be, only without Himchan's bickering and complaining, and when his hair was all dry, she played a little with the stray strands and giggled to herself at how crazy his hair looked. When Himchan felt like all sense had finally come back to him, he opened his mouth to say something, but his words got caught up when Jieun leaned into him and claimed his lips.

Himchan pulled her closer with his right hand and cupped her cheeks with his free hand to deepen the kiss. Her lavender scent intoxicated him and it made him realise that he had missed her lips too much for him to actually pull away, but it didn't last for long when she was the first one to do so.

They both found themselves actually panting due to the lack of air and Himchan noticed the bright red flush on Jieun's cheeks through his lazy eyes.

"You should put something on" she said and straightened out her clothes as she got off the bed. Her cheeks were still pink and she tried to avoid his gaze on her. Himchan looked down and found himself still with only a towel around his waist. He figured that if they were to go any longer, the kiss would turn into something much deeper and he chuckled at the thought of Jieun thinking of it. Why else would her cheeks be burning red right now?

"I actually came up here to say that breakfast is ready" she said and at her already swollen lips. Himchan nodded and watched as she walked out of the room.

When she finally left, reality hit Himchan really hard and he realised that this wasn't what was supposed to happen. He was so into the intimacy that he missed so much that he forgot to even ask why she was even here. He had to set his mind straight and tell her to leave immediately because it was really for the best for the both of them. First, he just had to put some clothes on himself.

Himchan took in a deep breath before heading downstairs. He had a hard time trying to figure out what to say to her because the first time he said he was leaving her, she shed tears and it hurt him seeing her that way; but of course, the second time would be much harder for him to say if he didn't want her to cry again.

Jieun heard him coming down the stairs and met him halfway to lead him into the kitchen to where the food she made was all ready and prepared.

Himchan eyed the food set on the table and he thought of it more of a feast rather than just a normal breakfast. Jieun sat him down in a chair and took her own seat right beside him.

"I know it's quite heavy for it to be called breakfast, but I just missed cooking for you, so I ended making all of this" she said and bit her lips, waiting for a response from Himchan.

Knowing that she made this specially for him would make it even harder.

"Look, I even made your favourite" Jieun placed a piece of grilled chicken on top of his rice.

Himchan sighed and placed his hand on top of hers that were placed in her lap. He could tell the panic in Jieun's eyes when she sensed that he was about to say something.

"N-no? What about dessert? I made caramel pudding, just the way you like it" Her eyes shifted back to the table looking for the dessert and was about to reach for it when Himchan's other hand grabbed it and brought it back to her lap.

Jieun watched his Adams apple move as he swallowed hard on his saliva before he spoke.

"Jieun ah. What I said before, it won’t change--"

"Wait" she stopped him and she squeezed Himchan's hands trying to stop herself from shaking, "Before you say anything, can we take a walk outside first?" she nervously looked up at him, waiting for an answer, "Please Himchan?" she pleaded.

He his dried lips that prevented him from saying anything to her, so instead, he agreed and nodded.

The leaves that were left hanging on the branches rustled as the wind gently blew against them. Not a lot of people were around and Himchan could tell why. Everything around them was damp, cold and grey. The cold breeze that haunted around them reminded him of the particular day of the crash and Himchan shivered at the thought.

They were holding hands as they walked down the pathway and Jieun reacted by squeezing tighter onto Himchan's hand when she felt him shiver. By the corner of his eyes, Himchan watched and listened to her humming a song, as if nothing he said in the house earlier affected her.

She was the same just as before. Her features were soft and her personality still bubbly and cheerful, as if nothing ever happened for the past 3 years. He knew that he loved her too much to not want to take that smile away from her and he hated the feeling when he reminded himself of what he had done to her.

Himchan paused, which made Jieun stop too and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes questioning his action.

"That's enough Jieun" he started, but Jieun decided not to give him any chances to speak this time.

"I know about the promise you made with appa" she bit her lower lips and looked up at him. Himchan was clueless for a second until he remembered the promise that he made. "Yongguk told me about it and then I asked appa about it too"

Himchan turned his head away. He was still too ashamed to look at her.

"The promise was that I get to make the choice, wasn't it? I get to choose whether to forgive you or not. But you took the advantage and left me first, didn't you?"

Himchan turned his head to face her again and he opened his mouth to say something to her but closed it back when she started crying. He cursed himself because that was the last thing he wanted see.

"It's not fair Himchan. Why are you doing this to me?" she sniffled and wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

"Don't you get it Jieun. I'm scared that I'll end up hurting you again like last time. That's why I'm telling you not to forgive me" Himchan said. He placed a palm onto her cheeks and it. He didn't want to let go at first but forced himself to and turned away but she quickly caught his sleeve and it got his attention.

"If you don't want me to forgive you, then I won't" she said and looked up from their hands back to his face, "but that means I can still love you, right?"

Himchan scrunched up his face because her words did seem to make some sense and so he looked back at her and noticed her eyes glisten with some hope in it. The corner of raised a little when he didn't have any words to respond and unexpectedly, she threw her arms over him and rested her head on his chest.

Unconsciously, he put his arms around her and held her tight. He knew now that there was no way that he could let go of her anymore and so he hid his face in the crook of her neck because he was still afraid that he might not be able to change himself even though he loved her too much.

Much to his dismay for not being able to hold on to her long enough, Jieun pulled away from him and smiled.

"Why don’t we start over?" she suggested.

"Start over?" Himchan furrowed his eyebrows and watched her reach her hand out, waiting for Himchan to take hold and shake it.

"I'm Jieun" she smiled.

Himchan stared at her small hand and it reminded him of the first time they met. She was bold enough to come up to him alone and introduce herself even though they knew nothing about each other. Himchan smiled and took hold of her hand which elicited another wide smile from Jieun.

If things were to start over again, he wouldn't mind, but this time with determination, he promised himself to make sure that things worked out properly.

"I'm Himchan"

END

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120812.
It finally reached the end. Sorry you guys had to wait for a while to get to the end of this story. I had so much trouble writing all the cheesy fluffness in this last chapter I just hope most of you didn't die because of it hehe.
thank you again everyone for reading this story, I hope you can read my Jongup's story 'The Promise of A Wallflower'. Bye everyone, loves!