It was raining, and it stiil hadn't stop since this morning.

A few hours ago, she was buried in her white, soft bed and didn't bother to pick up the Rilakkuma bears which have fallen onto the floor. The weather was perfect for her to sleep in that morning but of course, it was the school holidays which meant Zelo would be hanging around with her more. She loved being around with Zelo, but she figured that he should be playing with his own friends or going out with girls his own age rather than hanging out with some broken up, sad and lonely girl. But because of his pure heart, Zelo knew that his favourite nuna was hurting inside even though she didn't show it. He liked making her happy and Jieun was ok with that fact.

At first she was reluctant, but Zelo, being the cheeky kid he was, somehow had succeeded on bringing her over to their place. She had been to Yongguk's house a few times before for small gatherings or parties together with Himchan or just hang out with Zelo, like what she was doing right now.

Right now, she was sitting in the kitchen, watching Zelo take out all the ingredients that he and Yongguk had bought the other day. Yongguk had already gone out, so it was only the two of them in the house.

"Tell me again why I'm here?" Jieun rested her chin in her palms and watched him closely. When he finally got all the ingredients out, he kicked the refridgerator door close and placed the last bit of ingredients in front of her.

"The other day, Yongguk hyung made some really delicious steak burgers and then you made some really nice cupcakes.." His excitement died and he froze. It was a slip of the tongue and he didn't mean to remind her of that day.

"I'm sorry" he said regretfully, afraid that he would make her feel sad.

Jieuns lips curved into a smile making her eyes smaller than they already were.

"It's ok Zelo" she smiled at him. The last thing that she wanted was to make Zelo worry. Even though he was a boy of 16, he already had so many worries. "So what are you going to make with these?" she professionally changed the topic.

It was kind of obvious to what he was going to make when she picked up a can of cream sauce and in front of her eyes lay a packet of uncooked spaghetti. Zelo's switched back to his excited self and smiled brightly at her.

"I'm going to make Spaghetti carbonara for you nuna" he gleamed and brought out some pots and pans from the top shelf, which wasn't difficult to reach.

"Are you sure you know how to cook it Zelo? I can help" she offered and got up from her seat but was pushed back down in her seat by him.

"You can just sit and relax and watch me if you want" he said confidently and started scurrying around the kitchen to get things started.

Jieun sat down obediently and watched him do whatever he was doing. This was the first time a guy had ever done anything for her and she was touched. Not even Himchan had done anything like this for her.

A few days had already passed but the thought of Himchan always lingered in her mind. It was hard letting him go and she thinks that she can never stop loving him but where was he now? He didn't even come to look for her and it hurt her badly knowing that all her doubts were true after all.

It hurt her even more when all those days, she loved him more and more and it made herself grow onto him even more, and she thought that was the reason why she still can't forget him even at this moment where she couldn't be with him anymore.

"Oh no!"

Jieun snapped back to reality and turned to Zelo's direction. He had both his hands over his head and his face turned white while his eyes were frantically searching the kitchen for something.

"What is it Zelo?" she got up and looked over at the stove. There was nothing wrong with his cooking. Nothing was set on fire. So far, everything was doing just fine, so what was wrong?

"Cherry tomatoes" he blurted.

"What?" Jieun's eyebrows scrunched up together, not sure whether she had heard him correctly.

"Yongguk hyung forgot to buy cherry tomatoes" He squished his face with his hands. He had a horrified look on his face, as if he would die soon if he didn't have what he wanted.

"It's ok, we don't need cherry tomatoes for--"

"YES WE DO!" he exclaimed and shocked Jieun for a second. "Nuna, take care of the kitchen, I'll be back soon". Jieun didn't even realise that he was already at the door putting on his coat and shoes.

"Zelo, it's raining outside!" she said.

"I'll be fine. The market is just around the corner. I'll be back in 10 minutes" he said and left before even letting her say another word.

Jieun let out a sigh and walked her way back into the kitchen towards the stove. She picked up the wooden spoon and stirred the white gooey cream sauce that was already simmering in the pot. She took off the cooked spaghetti off the stove and mixed it together with the cream sauce and divided them evenly into the plates. As the final touch, she sprinkled over some bacon that Zelo fried earlier as the garnish and she felt contented with how it turned out.

As soon as she served them on the table, she heard the front door open. Expecting it to be Zelo, she called out to him.

"Zelo ya, it's ready. If you want, we can just eat the cherry tomatoes fresh" she gleamed and smiled up at the person standing a few feet away from her.

Her smile faded and her eyes widened at the sight of Himchan standing in front of her. Both of them seemed to be at a lost of words when the silence was filled with the sound of the rain falling against the window pane. Zelo promised her 10 minutes but it felt like he was gone over that time limit. Inside she was hoping Zelo would just barge in and save her pathetic self again since she couldn't do it alone, but yet, Zelo didn't pop up as usual, and so this was the time where she had to depend on herself.

"Jieun" Himchan finally broke the silence. He never thought that he would be saying that name again and she never thought she would be hearing it coming out from his mouth again.

"Himchan. what are you doing here?" she managed to ask.

"I wanted to ask you the same thing" he said as he took a few steps closer towards her. Not meaning to, she reacted by stepping further from him, because if he came too close, she wouldn't know what to do if he could hear her heart beating loudly against her chest.

He saw her move away from him and her expression was the same as the other night when she left him. When she didn't say anything back, he decided to talk instead to not give in to the awkward silence.

"I'm here to look for Yongguk" he said but that was all. He didn't want to explain it further because the reason he was looking for Yongguk was to ask him again where Jieun was. These few days he had been living alone and it tortured him. Even Yongguk and Zelo never came by anymore and his new solitary life was killing him.

Jieun nodded, not knowing how else to answer him.

"What were you doing?" he eyed the plates of still steaming spaghetti placed on the table. She trailed his gaze to where he was looking at and then turned back to him.

"Zelo was cooking for me" she smiled faintly but immediately earned a scoff from him. His face grew irritated just by the mention of Zelo. He just didn't like the thought of Jieun being around him and what hurt him even more when she smiled more around Zelo. It wasn't entirely Zelo's fault but he just couldn't stand that sight of her being happy with someone else.

"That little bastard knows how to take advantage of you, doesn't he?" he showed her a one sided, not-so-amused smile. Jieun winced at his hostile tone and the sharp words.

"How could you say that Himchan?" she sounded exasperated by his remark.

"He took you away from me. Isn't that obvious!" He yelled at her and she winced when he raised his voice. She realised that his reasons were childish and her fists tightened when a sudden rage started to build up in her.

"It had nothing to do with Zelo or anyone else." she raised her voice at him and he stared at her. "We just failed. Both of us failed" she toned down her voice and her eyes started tearing.

Realization had hit Himchan hard and he shamefully blinked at her crying figure. He really didn't mean to say all those words, especially when he actually meant to take her back and be by her side.

Jieun ran passed him. She didn't want to face him anymore because this was what she predicted if she were to meet him again. She frantically put her shoes on, and when she thought it was taking too much time, she decided to just leave with her shoe not worn on properly.

"Jieun!" he called for her but the door had already slammed shut. He quickly followed her down not wanting to lose her like this again.

It was still drizzling outside, but Jieun didn't even bother when she stepped into puddles of rain and the way she wore her shoes poorly made it easier for the water to drench her feet. She could hear him calling but she didn't stop when she heard rushed footsteps behind her.

Himchan pulled her by her arm so that she would turn around to face him. Jieun wiped her face with the back of her hand, swiping away the rain and the tears on her face and raised her head to look up at him. Her lips quivered due to the cold water that seeped in through her shoes and the rain that trickled down her bare face.

"Just leave me alone Himchan" she said in a quivering, hushed voice and struggled to let herself loose.

"I'm sorry Jieun" he blurted out and it made her stop struggling. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say all those things" he admitted. She stared blankly at him for a while, letting those words dig into her brain.

"I just want to go home" she said as she hugged her shivering self.

Himchan brought up his right hand to cup her cheeks and she could feel it leave a very warm print against her skin. Her heart felt like it skipped a beat because for a moment, it felt like she had lost her breath.

"You're cold and it's raining. Let me take you home" he offered. He stared down at her softly and it was the first time in a very long time that he had looked at her that way. Jieun wasn't sure how, it could be that she was just feeling extremely cold, but she found herself agreeing to him and followed him into his car.

Himchan ran to the other side of his car and got into his seat. He the heater and shook off the water from his wet hair. He then turned his head and looked at her. His mouth opened to talk but then he decided not to. He started the engine and drove off.

The atmosphere was awkward and she wasn't her usual self at all. She was always bubbly and happy or excited whenever Himchan took her out somewhere with him in his car. But this time, it was different. The gloom in the car was so intense that they both could feel it.

"I really didn't mean to say those things about him. It's just that you adore him too much" Himchan broke the silence. He was admitting to himself that he was jealous of Zelo. Yongguk once told him before that Zelo was better at taking care of Jieun and he didn't like it when the truth was always displayed in front of him.

"You hit him too you know" she said and watched Himchan wince at the corner of her eyes. They arrived at a traffic light and stopped when it glowed red. The akward silence came back. His face turned red. He didn't want to talk about Zelo anymore, he wanted to talk about his needs. It was selfish of him, but that was the only way he could describe what he really wanted from her.

"Come back with me Jieun" he said. Jieun snapped her head to his direction but then lowered her head and he heard her sigh.

"I can't do that anymore. It's too hard" this time, she didn't hold back her tears. Himchan turned his head around and fixed his eyes back on the road. He gritted his teeth hearing the disappointing answer from her.

"I don't want to love you anymore Himchan. It's just too hard" she sobbed behind her hands. Her words stabbed him and he could feel the sting  spreading from his chest, through the blood in his veins and straight into his heart. Himchan's knuckles turned white from gripping tightly onto the steering wheel and what felt like a very long time, the traffic light finally changed to green and Himchan stepped hard on the accelerator, making a loud screech with the tires.

"H-Himchan, you're going too fast" Jieun managed to say when her voice was all croaky and when she could feel the speed at which Himchan was driving. "Himchan! Please stop, You're scaring me" she yelled at him and tugged at his arm when he didn't slow down.

"I love you Jieun" he finally said, but in a hushed tone, not loud enough for her to hear. He gritted his teeth, challenging himself to say it louder, so that she will know and understand how desperate he wanted her by her side again.

"I love you Jieun!" he said it louder this time but she still didn't hear him because they started to hear a loud noise that could make their ears bleed. Lights started to glow brightly upon them and when they both looked in front, the last thing he heard was Jieun shrieking and calling out his name.

Less than a few seconds after that, Himchan could see lights flashing on and off, everything around him spun. He couldn't hear anything because everything seemed so loud. His body shook and it flew back and forth held back by his seat belt and the next thing he knew, everything turned pitch black.




 

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Himchan could feel rain in his eyes and it was stinging. He wasn't sure whether it was his vision or smoke that clouded around him. He tried to look at Jieun, but when he tried to turn his neck, it felt like a thousand blades stabbed right through his neck and it even hurt as he groaned in pain and that was also when he realised that he was hanging upside down from his seat.

He moved his eyes to Jieuns direction to make sure she was there. He could see her but her eyes were closed and he wasn't sure where it came from, but streams of blood trickled down her face. Shocked by the sight, even his tears that rolled down his cheeks felt too painful to bear. He tried calling her name, but he couldn't hear anything coming out of his own mouth. Exhausted for no reason at all, he felt his energy drain out and his eyes became heavy and it turned pitch black once again.
 

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Yesss dear readers. I do recommend you to hate me because fyi I hate myself  very very much. I'm not sure why it took a very very very long time for me to write this chapter, because actually I was nearly done, but then I got stuck so I re-wrote the chapter. I missed you guys anyway so I forced myself to update as soon as possible. I think I was just being lazy. My brain was working well, but my fingers didn't want to type. Damn you lazy fingers! I'm actually glad that I'm finally done with this chapter. Feels like the burden of the world was lifted off mys houlders ^.^
Oh besides that, 4 more days till B.A.P is coming here and I despise myself so much for not being able to go. When they came out with Power, I swore to myself that I would go to their first showcase/concert/fanmeeting, but yeah. Let me just cry my eyes out...I really wanted to go up to Youngjae and call him a 'babo'. I know I'm evil but that's how I show my love to him eventhough my one and only bias from B.A.P is...YONGGUKHIIMCHANDAEHYUNYOUNGJAEJONGUPZELO.ehehh
sorry for the very long a/n. I missed you guys so much. I hope you liked this chapter :)