Reviewer: kyaagirly

The Title: Honestly, I like your title. It relates to what you're trying to show in your story. It's not really a title that would attract regular readers since regular readers would rather prefer cliche story titles but I, as a reader, would read it because it sorta catches my eye. However, I have seen other stories with similar titles, but that's okay since it's most of the time out of coincidence. (5 points)

The Plot: You're plot is not bad, but I didn't really understand it. Honestly, I didn't understand what you were trying to plot out until I continued reading. The beginning of your plot was confusing.  Also, your plot seems more as if it already started talking about the story, like it is another chapter. Depending on your decision, you could choose to leave it the way it is because it is okay or could shorten or briefly summarize your story plot a little bit. But your plot is indeed an interesting topic and it leaves the reader asking what the girl did that caused Jiyong to come back for revenge on her. (7.5 points)

The Context: I'm glad you told me that English is not your first language. It is easier to grade that way, but don't worry, I will not count any points off for that. It is understandable. There wasn't many grammar mistakes in your story, so you do not have to worry about that. Your diction/choice of words were decent, but there wasn't much sentence variety, which might make your story a bit more intriguing. (10 points)

The Character Development: Your descriptions on your characters give some clues about their true personalities and it's pretty descriptive. Because you have only written one chapter, it is hard to grade your story on character development, but I do see a start of some development towards your character Kim Haneul, which is great ! (10 points)

The Plot Development: I understand that you want to make your fanfic humorous too like a comedy, according to your tags, but it is hard to keep up with the story. Looking at your title, your story would have more of a dark and serious feeling to it. it was kind of unusual how Jiyong changed from a joking attitude to a serious one. It is interesting how you try to include the humor part to your story, but it is hard to keep up with because you didn't really incorporated it in properly. I would give you the suggestion to make the story without humor, but again, that is your decision to choose. Or you can try to make a much darker kind of humor. (7 points)

Overall: There are some minor details in your fanfic that I would suggest you change, but again this is the author's decisions whether you decide to choose it or not. I'm only here to review and give advice on how to improve your fanfic. I have a really good feeling about your fanfic if you didn't really have the humor part in it, in my opinion. Those darkish stories that gives a reader chills facinates me, not saying that I'm emo or anything. It's just a really unique topic to write about. Please continue to write though ! Keep up the good work :)

Total Amount of Points: 39.5/50

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This is a very unique topic. I look forward to reading your story in the future. :) Also, I hope this "strict" grading system satisfied you. x) Thank you for requesting ! I hope this review helped and I hope you liked it. -kyaagirly