#4 The In Between by golferox

♬ †råñqµïl MêlöÐïê§ Rêvïêw §höþ ♪ [ßusy]

Reviewer: tiffusan

The Title: Good job on the title! While I was a little confused when I first saw it, it made a lot more sense after I read the oneshot. The title perfectly described the story without giving it away. It also gives off that "mysterious" feel that makes up a good horror story. This is something you don't see a lot in AFF. Give yourself a pat on the back. :) (5 Points) 

The Plot: Reading the description, I was little caught off guard by how vague it was. However, that persuaded me to continue reading on. In terms of the story, this plot is quite unique, as you don't find a lot of good horror stories in AFF. It isn't a typical romance/paranormal plot, which was something that was very enjoyable to read. (9.5 points)

The Context: I didn't see any major grammar and spelling mistakes, so full marks here. I do, however, like the flow of the story and your writing style. It isn't too choppy and it's easy to read. (10 points)

Character Development: I definitely loved how you portrayed Heechul's descent to insanity. It was very chillng to read, but that's what's great about your oneshot. Not a lot of oneshot writers manage to incorprate a good amount of character development into their stories, so good job! (10 points)

Plot Development: A lot of things happen in this oneshot. As I was reading it, I felt like this could easily be an epilogue to a multiple-chaptered story. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because you gave enough information to not make it confusing. Most writers would just throw in a bunch of events with no explanation, so nice job on that. There are some parts where it got a little boring, but there is a decent amount of suspenseful scenes that really capture the genre of horror. However, there were also some parts that left me kind of confused, and I found myself having to re-read them again. Perhaps you should try to add a little more detail to the story. (13 points)

Overall: I, personally, am not a huge fan of horror, but your story was definitely enjoyable. There was a good amount of horror, but not enough to scare the living daylights out of me (which is a good thing, really). I had fun reading and reviewing your story! I hope you continue writing! 

Total Amount of Points: 47.5/50

~☁~

I hope my review helped you somehow, and thanks again for requesting! -tiffusan 

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Comments

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finbatix
#1
thank you in advance for taking the time to review my story series^^
mizice90
#2
i have request for a review...
lynnryan
#3
Oh yay its done!
33.5/50 huh? Its much better than i thought.
Haha i know i'm not really a good writer and i get that alot.
Even from my language teacher.
But thanks for your honest review! I'm not sad at all, really.
I would love to improve more and i hope i can!
Anyways, thanks again!
Oh and you're welcome! I love loveee your exo shots! Do write more love! ;)
lynnryan
#4
I've requested for a review! ♥
GreenGardenPop
#5
Thanks for the review...
GreenGardenPop
#6
I requested
golferox
#7
Thanks for the review! I'm glad I didn't scare the living daylights out of you :P
KimPossible21 #8
Hi, thank you so much for the review :)
Yes, the character doesnt change much because she'a a young, healthy mother and I want her to be quite stable throughout the story, but she gets to realise and learn new things as the oneshot progresses xD

I wanted someone who hasnt read the original story to review it because I want to know a different perspective. XD
Thank you for doing this again.
Will credit when I get on my laptop.