Back then everything was great. My days were spend with him singing and hanging around together. We were best friends so when did it began to change? Was it love at first sight mistaken as beautiful friendship or did I cherish you too much that it became love? Now I'm million miles away, I can't touch you like I used to all I can do is cherish these moments of you and I. Though three years have passed it seems my feelings for you have not changed.

*Drowned voices of the press and blurred photo snaps in the background*

"So Jin tell us a bit about your second album"

"well, it's called "unforgettable memories" and it will be released in a month" I replied smiling.

" I heard that the first track is called "your touch", what made you write a song like that?" she asked

"I wanted to write a song that would show your regrets about your old love and how much you wish you could change that" My voice was trembling slightly.

"Interesting...I realised that all of your pv's feature the same girl, is there any special reason behind that?"

Well, obviously there is. She reminds me so much of him but it's still not the same, his existence is irreplacable.

"No there's no special reason behind it, it's just that it's easier to use the same girl" I said using my heavenly smile.

"what a shame, anyway, I hear that Kat-Tun will be coming to the US in 2 weeks, what are thoughts about this?"

My heart skipped a beat. What. There are coming here? He'll be with them.

"I'm looking forward to meeting them, afterall I haven't seen them in a long time" I replied calming down my beating heart.

"Of course...by the way, I've been meaning to ask this"

"yes?"

"what was the reason you moved to the US?, I heard you were doing very well with Kat-Tun"

"well there's many reason's for that...." ugh I hate these types of questions.

"It's fine we've got time" her eyes were sparkling but she was a demon trying to reap me and grab my inner thoughts.

"Well...- I started and thankfully my manager interupted- "I'm sorry,that's it for today, you can ask him anything the next time we meet" said my manager dragging me out.

"But - "I'm sorry he really has to go" 

I was saved thanks to my manager. I got in the car and lowered my seat.

"Thankyou" I said staring out of the window.

"it's fine, I know you don't like them questions" he said smiling as he drove to the motorway.

"I'm not ready to face him yet"

"take your time, ok" his voice was unexpectedly soothing.

The azure blue sky was clear and beautiful, my disturbed mind was slowly wrapped in white air. As I fell asleep my memories with him surrounded me, his sweet voice trapped me in his shadow as I went deeper into sleep.

"oi, wake up we're finally here"

"mm"

The sun was blinding me as the wind slowly relieved me. I got out of the car and streched. Finally, freedom.

"for now, this your new villa" he said pointing at the aesthetic villa infront of me.

"since they found out your hotel room, you'll have to settle down here for now. There's nothing but open land for a few km, if you need something in an emergency, go to the shop that's down 2 km but you should always contact me if you need anything, got that?"

"yes, yes" I replied sleepily.

" most of your stuff has been deliever here, so go in and get some rest, I'm going to get some essentials and food, i'll see you later" he said getting in the car.

I watched him drive down the road and went in. It was nice and comfy as I laid down on the bed, I wanted to sleep badly but I needed to get a bath to relax myself first. The open bath on the second floor was so peaceful. I jumped in. I rested my head down and stared into the sky.

It was a day like today when I met him. Back then I was in the school band, it was only consisted with first graders koki and junno as well as third graders ueda and nakamaru senpais'. We were performing in the school festival surrounded by middle schoolers. At the end of our performance we were confronted by a boy called Kazuya.

"Senpai, you were so cool, I'm your no 1 fan from today" his eyes were shimmering as he fixed his eyes on me.

"Jin you got your first fan" laughed Nakamaru senpai.

"thanks, you're my favourite fan" I ruffeled his dark chocolate hair and waved goodbye as I walked away holding my guitar from the back. I wanted to look cool infront of him.

It was the first time in my life that I felt grateful towards myself for doing something that would please a crowd. Or just one person. Even though we met only once, his existence in me was greater than he would think. If I was able to make just one person happy that day I would feel complete.

Two days after, me and my mother went to greet our neighbours who moved 3 days ago. As I went in, the aura that was through it's surrounding was very warm and comforting, I felt at ease and intrigued to meet our neighbours. A middle aged woman met us at the living room and called her son downstairs to meet us. My eyes suddenly turned towards the stairs as I heard footsteps, a nostalgic silhouette descended. My eyes took time to focus the blurry person infront of me.

"Senpai" a sharp shard scraped my heart.

When I came to, he was standing infront of me with clear eyes and a widespread smile. Ever since that day, we slowly became close eventually hanging out together. Ueda and Nakamaru senpai graduated and Kazuya became a freshman in our school. I invited him into the music club and he soon became part of our group. He was insanely popular with girls and without holding back he flirted with them to his heart's satisfaction, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. Ah, wait, maybe that's when I actually started falling for him. It only took him few days to get a girlfriend, the innocent fan of mine were no more and so as a result we spend less time together than we used to. I also had to get used to seeing him with his girlfriend but when the girl kept changing every week, It was hard. I tried so hard to avoid them but he will always pop up in my face with a new girl and introduce her to me, bragging on about the things things that they did together. My temper was getting worse, as she also kept flirting with him. My fist clenched so hard, I thought the coke would burst.

How can I watch the person I love be with someone else? I wanted him to be mine so much. And one day I snapped. Everything overflowed, except that one truth. I hurted him. Ever since that day, my mind was going deeper and deeper into darkness. Yes, just like right now, I was drowning in my guilt, slowly, as I lost my concious. Until I mentally died....