part V: don't forget to quote han saehyun, the queen
don't spray perfume (because it's all about body spray~)
i became a trainee when i was thirteen years old.
when i had first started, it was safe to say that i was scared out of my mind.
i mean, me? under sm entertainment? pfft.
dorky, standard politeness han saehyun.
even i had trouble believing it.
but i had a love and passion for singing.
and becoming a trainee was the way to go.
the first year was the hardest.
it is always the hardest.
i still remember walking into the company for the first time, almost shaking and trying to refrain from running back home.
constant questions of “do i really want this?” and “how much do i want this?” to “what are they chances of me actually debuting?” plagued my mind.
the tension was amazing when first entering.
amazing in the bad way.
all the new trainees were rounded up and introduced to the other trainees.
during that meeting, there was a cutthroat atmosphere that made me think, “i didn’t ask for this!”
it took me ten seconds for me to go, “oh wait. i did.”
the first months were harsh.
training was vicious and i found no close friends.
yes, there were other trainees that i could converse with, but no one that i really wanted to get to know.
people thought i was endearing, and it was easy enough to make friends with my personality.
of course, what i thought of other people wasn’t as nice.
i learned quickly that in this brutal environment, people weren’t always as nice (or real) as they appeared.
that . lots of “friends”, but no one close.
that changed in the sixth month that i was a trainee.
it was our monthly show-off time.
all of the current trainees got up to show their stuff.
it couldn’t be helped. we were in a competitive setting, after all.
two girls stood up on stage. they both looked my age.
one rapped as fiercely as a young teenage girl could, while the other sang her heart out.
i saw those two around a lot. they were my sunbaes by one year in the trainee department.
they hung around each other a lot. i would think that they were close.
i was a little envious of that. i almost felt myself pouting.
their duet was done well, and they won the claps and approval of everyone in the room.
i loved when approval was gained, willingly or not.
the girl who had sang smiled brightly and was kind of flouncing about. the other one chided her lightly, while both took a seat near me.
right next to me, actually.
i smiled at them nicely and complimented them, saying, “you guys did so well!”
the girl who sang smiled brightly, and i noticed that she had the type of aura that screamed, “pay attention to me!”. she said an almost arrogant but not quite thank you, while the other girl, who was calmer, smiled at the praise as well.
“my name is han saehyun.” it doesn’t hurt to introduce myself, now does it?
“ah, my name’s park hyorin! you can call me rin~ you’re a ’94-er, right~?”
i nodded my head and wondered, “how did she know?”
“you’re the same age as us then~ we’re chingus~” sad rin cheerfully.
“hi chingu~ my name is jung hyunjae~” the girl who rapped finally talked to me, and smiled quite nicely.
the fierceness from earlier was gone.
little did i know that those two would later become my leadah rincess and irreplaceable maknae.
i should have known.
really, i should have.
the singing continued, although i shamelessly admit that i tuned most of it out in favor of talking to my two new companions.
they were fun and easy to talk to.
they seemed real.
(even if hyunjae kind of gave me the wrong vibe in the beginning. hehe.)
and then i heard this voice, and it just kind of shocked my ears and mind (and heart) into submission.
i paused in the conversation, and slowly turned my head to look at the stage.
my heart, that treacherous thing, was telling me that i liked this voice (and indirectly, that person) a lot.
even i knew i was openly gaping at that boy.
“saehyun ah, don’t stare too hard now.” i heard the teasing voice of hyorin, and flushed slightly, pouting.
the singing stopped, and i felt vaguely disappointed. i did continue to stare at that boy though, as i saw him in a new light as of then. i honestly never paid attention to him before. i never had to.
after that, he was all i paid attention to when he was in my eye’s view.
less than one year after that incident, he had become onew of shinee.
and i was still as smitten as ever.
two months into knowing hyunjae and hyorin, something else happened.
i was becoming fast friends with the duo, and while it was wholly unexpected, it was not unwelcome.
it was nice, coming into this savage company and field, having people that were real and fun.
i was becoming attached so quickly, i couldn’t believe it.
it was almost unthinkable.
we were done with our respective training for the day, and we were about to go home.
and then we saw this girl, still in her first training session.
we just happened to walk by. it wasn’t supposed to be anything.
but we saw her anyway.
she was dancing – popping, locking, break dancing – her heart out.
even as sunbae trainees, we knew when props were due. we opened the door (we knew this teacher well) and clapped supportively.
the girl turned and stopped, looking at us curiously.
“hi?”
she paused, and quickly shouted, “dahae?!” while pointing to me.
there was an almost awkward pause.
“i’m sorry, what?” i asked, almost sheepishly.
the girl went “oh” and rubbed at her eyes. “whoops, my mistake. you’re not dahae. sorry~” she smiled, slightly embarrassed.
“it’s no problem~ my name’s han saehyun~” again, there was no problem in introducing myself.
“if i could dance like you, i would have already debuted.” hyorin said this airily, even though she meant it as a compliment.
it seemed like the girl didn’t know how to take it because hyunjae said lightly, “take it as a compliment.”
she smiled and continued the conversation naturally.
introductions were made, and there was an invitation to go hang out some time.
i don’t know how it happened. i really do not.
but we all just…clicked, i guess.
within the year, we were kind of inseparable.
the confident, ever so princess-ey hyorin.
it was just so easy to be friends with her, since she was so easy going and priceless.
the dancing, one-of-a-kind aejung.
she was almost unbelievably funny and blunt.
the snarky, ice princess maknae.
she wasn’t that much of an ice princess or a maknae, but she was snarky.
and then there was me.
the dorky umma who was queen hannie of the hannie bunnies.
the name’s ridiculous, but maknae and aejung won’t let it go.
i don’t mind really.
i’m the dorkiest umma who is queen hannie of the hannie bunnies anyway because of them.
the times where i had no close friends were forgotten completely.
i didn’t know it at that time, but us four would become something precious enough to change our lives.
something that we would pour our blood, sweat, and tears into.
pain, happiness, anger, sadness.
we would experience it all together.
none of us knew it at the time.
but eternity complete.
(even if it was created at a later time.)
((and no one knew.))
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LOL, IDK. HANNIE WANTED TO KNOW HOW THEY BECAME FRIENDS. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.
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