Review :)
Is Your Love for me a Lie?
Review for Is Your Love For Me A lie?
Author: qutie133
Reviewer: dreamingstar2374~~
TITLE: 5/5
Simple and straight forward, drags readers attention.
Foreword: 6/10
Not impressed with your foreword, though it's suggestive and summarizes the important parts of your story. You've mixed it up with the author's note, and most importantly it's not descriptive enough.
Flow: 14/15
Good flow! You've gone between how they have met and how they become friends at a normal pace. I'm impressed with you since you spaced it out and you ended the chapter as a cliffhanger to make users curious.
Grammar/spelling/errors: 14.5/15
I'm not sure of whether you have edited it or not but there's nearly no grammar mistakes!
I've found a few and I'll set out some mistakes, bold is yours and mine is in italics:
-"Sorry their not in season only in Spring"
"Sorry, it's not in season, only in Spring"
-and... said
and... Said
-immdiatly
immediately
-My phone is ringing, I had no more intention of picking up the call.
My phone was ringing, yet I had no intention of picking up the call.
-Taking of his
Taking off his
-He grabbed her on her arm and dragged to shore.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her to shore.
-She smile.
She smiles or she smiled
Plot: 17/20
Hmmm... I've liked how you have plotted it out at an even pace. It's easy to understand for the reader. However, as I have mentioned up the top, the ending wasn't expected as exciting and surprising. I like the start of how there's a small paragraph to explain the mysterious guy.
There is a problem though, dating someone and trying to get their money isn't a crime, so why did he get arrested? If it was, then Taeyeon would have known how he looked like and reported him before he could do anything else.
Originality/creativity: 10/15
A bit ordinary, there's lots of fanfics out there with the girl misunderstanding the guy. However, I like your idea about the man who dates rich girls. I don't understand how their should polices involved when Key wasn't doing a crime though.
Characterization: 10/15
Something that many authors miss is the feelings of their characters.
For example, WHY does Eunhyuk like Hyoyeon? When and how did it happen? Also, you make Hyoyeon's personality really normal. Hyoyeon getting angry when the explanation hasn't been done yet isn't really amusing.
Overall enjoyment: 12/15
Very amusing with the surprise you gave at the start, however I would like it if you had made their date a bit more interesting. Like adding another character. Also I know this is off the topic, but, you've tagged Key. He is just a support character, and he is a baddie too. Imagine someone who was a Key fan and looked at stories that was tagged at key, she/he would be expecting a story that revolved around him. Not him getting arrested ect. So tagging is showing what you story will revolve around. Hope that helps^^
Try and give a background too, give the readers something to think about when they read the story.
Bonus: 1
-You get to the important point and you're straight forward. 1 point
Total: 89.5/100
Hope you like your score~
Author: qutie133
Reviewer: dreamingstar2374~~
TITLE: 5/5
Simple and straight forward, drags readers attention.
Foreword: 6/10
Not impressed with your foreword, though it's suggestive and summarizes the important parts of your story. You've mixed it up with the author's note, and most importantly it's not descriptive enough.
Flow: 14/15
Good flow! You've gone between how they have met and how they become friends at a normal pace. I'm impressed with you since you spaced it out and you ended the chapter as a cliffhanger to make users curious.
Grammar/spelling/errors: 14.5/15
I'm not sure of whether you have edited it or not but there's nearly no grammar mistakes!
I've found a few and I'll set out some mistakes, bold is yours and mine is in italics:
-"Sorry their not in season only in Spring"
"Sorry, it's not in season, only in Spring"
-and... said
and... Said
-immdiatly
immediately
-My phone is ringing, I had no more intention of picking up the call.
My phone was ringing, yet I had no intention of picking up the call.
-Taking of his
Taking off his
-He grabbed her on her arm and dragged to shore.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her to shore.
-She smile.
She smiles or she smiled
Plot: 17/20
Hmmm... I've liked how you have plotted it out at an even pace. It's easy to understand for the reader. However, as I have mentioned up the top, the ending wasn't expected as exciting and surprising. I like the start of how there's a small paragraph to explain the mysterious guy.
There is a problem though, dating someone and trying to get their money isn't a crime, so why did he get arrested? If it was, then Taeyeon would have known how he looked like and reported him before he could do anything else.
Originality/creativity: 10/15
A bit ordinary, there's lots of fanfics out there with the girl misunderstanding the guy. However, I like your idea about the man who dates rich girls. I don't understand how their should polices involved when Key wasn't doing a crime though.
Characterization: 10/15
Something that many authors miss is the feelings of their characters.
For example, WHY does Eunhyuk like Hyoyeon? When and how did it happen? Also, you make Hyoyeon's personality really normal. Hyoyeon getting angry when the explanation hasn't been done yet isn't really amusing.
Overall enjoyment: 12/15
Very amusing with the surprise you gave at the start, however I would like it if you had made their date a bit more interesting. Like adding another character. Also I know this is off the topic, but, you've tagged Key. He is just a support character, and he is a baddie too. Imagine someone who was a Key fan and looked at stories that was tagged at key, she/he would be expecting a story that revolved around him. Not him getting arrested ect. So tagging is showing what you story will revolve around. Hope that helps^^
Try and give a background too, give the readers something to think about when they read the story.
Bonus: 1
-You get to the important point and you're straight forward. 1 point
Total: 89.5/100
Hope you like your score~
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