My name is Yong Junhyung, you can call me Joker. It's quite ironic, because I never smile, it's not my fault, I'm just like that. I never knew how my parents look like. According to people, my 'father', if I could call him as such, left my mother when I was still in her belly, my mother raised me until I was 2 years old, then died from a cancer, she was a famous ballet dancer, but I still never got  to see her dance. All that I have left now is her fortune.. A fortune which can't compensate the love and warmth a kid can feel from their parents' affection.. Even my passion for music isn't enough.
 
I usually don't practice a lot, and that day, I was realy tired, but I had to practice with the boys , so we went to the practice rooms. The thing that was bugging me was that I had to face the noisy trainee girls again, who keep waiting for us in front of our practice room.. I realy don't know why they treat me like they do.. What have I done to be treated as such? I'm just a normal guy.. Anyways, I took a deep breath and passed in between that army of crazy girls.. I stood in the back trying to act busy texting Hara, I could hear them screaming from the side of the room, when suddenly, I heard that voice.
 
“I'm sorry.. Did you finish the dance practice yet? Did the trainees come out yet?”
 
I looked up, to find this tiny silhouette standing in front of us, she was wearing baggy clothes, and looked realy exhausted, I had never seen that trainee before in cube, she looked different. I didn't know if she recognized us and was acting stupid so she could get our attention , or if she was realy stupid. Hyunseung and Yoseob just stood there smiling, they kind of liked it when girls tried to approach them, Gikwang , Dujun and Dongwoon continued talking, when suddenly Gikwang noticed her looking at us with her big brown eyes waiting for a reaction. Knowing the snob he is, he ironically said something mean and we continued our way to the practice room. All the girls who were in the hall stared laughing, and throwing words at her, she looked pathetic.
 


Once in the practice room, the guys started fighting and arguing about which song to rehearse, I did not realy care , all I wanted was to finish early so I could go to my precious composing room and write some lyrics, because I realy needed it. Finaly, after almost half an hour of nonsense, they decided to dance on “Shock”, we repeated the routine 4 times. In the middle of our 5th time, Gikwang ran to the Hi-fi and stopped the music, he seemed like he remembered something , and started jumping everywhere.. 'Pabo', I said to myself. But this time, he looked like he realy had something important to say. He just had a hard time putting words into order in his duck brain.. as usual. When he froze for 3 seconds, then screamed:
 
“ GUYS! I realy have gossip to tell you~ AIGOOOO~”
 
“What again?” , said Hyunseung, he seemed annoyed.
 
“The girl the girl!”, he shouted, “I know her!”
 
“The girl.. which girl?” , asked Dujun.
 
“The one we bumped into just a while ago! The one who was asking about something, I don't know! The weird girl!”
 
We looked at him curiously, Hyunseung was not the type to care much about gossip, nor about Gikwang's sayings, so he sighed and sat on the floor waiting for us to resume our practice.
 
“It's HyunA!! WONDER GIRLS' KIM HYUNA!”
 
An awkward silence invaded the room, then all of them began to laugh loudly, even Hyunseung was rolling on the floor and running everywhere. I just stood there, I didn't know why they were laughing, nor did I know who this 'Kim HyunA' was, one thing was for sure, they all knew her except me.
 
“Who.. who is Kim HyunA?” I asked.
 
They all turned to me, and stared in curiosity, were they looking at me like that because It was weird how I didn't know who she was, or because I wasn't used to ask those types of questions?
 
“You seriously don't know who Kim HyunA is?” asked Dongwoon.
 
I just sighed, and rolled my eyes.
 
“Forget it.” I said.
 
When Gikwang and Yoseob came running to me, held both my arms and started making a show as they always do. What stupid dorks.
 
“The queen.” Said Yoseob.
 
“Yes, the one and only queen” said Gikwang right after, looking into the roof and making some weird moves with his palm , then jumped into reality and continued “No seriously, she was once in the wonder girls, then left because she got pregnant.. She is still a queen though.”
 
“Too bad, she didn't look like one today..” whispered Dongwoon.
 
Dujun stood up, and suddenly started shouting realy loudly, he seemed kind of pissed off.
 
“Lee Gikwang, how many times do I have to tell you ? HyunA didn't leave because she was pregnant!” Then lowered his tone and continued , “I mean.. you knew her just like I did, she is not that kind of girl.”
 
I felt awkward as they were talking about that girl, I didn't know who she was, and I'm not into these kind of discussions. We were losing time, and I wanted to finish early that afternoon. So I brought their senses back to them and we continued practicing. I was glad we finished . When all of sudden at the end of our rehearsal, Dujun came to me.
 


“Junhyung-ah, let's talk for a while.”
 
He looked worried, I knew very well what he wanted to talk about. It's been days since I was avoiding the subject, I told to myself that I couldn't keep running forever, even though Dujun somehow scared me, I had to face it.
 
“What?” I asked.
 
“Why are you acting like that to her..?”
 
“Dujun-ah.. You know very well..”
 
“What again? You're going to tell me that your relationship is based on your mistake and that you shouldn't have kissed her the first time and that you were drunk? I know.” He said, then sighed and continued, “Junhyung-ah, it's been 2 years since you're treating her like that.. Be courageous and tell her you can't keep lying to her forever.”
 
“Ugh.. Molla~, I will find a way, there's always a way, right hyung??”
 
He just looked at me in despair, he knew I didn't have the courage to face Hara. We've been dating for two years now, and it was all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed her that day, I was drunk, I used her. I just felt like a bad person, a realy bad person.