I remember when I first entered the Cube building , it looked totally different from the JYP one, it seemed more like a High school ,I could see from the windows outside that It had wide rooms with tables and chairs, a whiteboard in every room, It had a training space, a football field, a baseball field, a tennis field, I felt as if I was going back to school, which for sure, was a bad feeling ..
Joon and I were waiting for a certain 'Mr. Yoon' at the entrance, it was a huge glass door that had a blue cube symbol on it with Cube entertainment written under, it looked quite original.. Joon was trying to see through the glass how it looked like inside , when suddenly the door opened, a short man came in our direction, I immediately guessed who it was, 'Mr. Yoon', he greeted us , and asked us to
follow him ..
 

 
We didn't know where we were going , we just followed him quietly.. We took the elevator , to the 4th floor, after we got out, we could notice the number of dance rooms there were in there, packed with trainees, a crazy number of people who looked the same , sweating like pigs while dancing , they seemed exhausted, I turned to my left to see how Joon was reacting to what we were seeing, he looked frightened, his mouth was wide open, he wasn't blinking for a second, I knew how he was feeling, since I was feeling the same way, but I just winked him from behind, trying to cheer him up, and whispered : “It's going to be okay!” , when I myself was even more worried , when suddenly 'Mr. Yoon' stopped .


 
“This is the dance room where you'll be practicing today”, He said.
 
I turned my head impatiently to see which door he was pointing at, the first thing I noticed, was that It had an unlucky number, '13'on it, It didn't feel right..
 
“Why are you staring at the door? What are you waiting for? Go in”, Said 'Mr. Yoon' pushing us slowly from the back.
 
Joon and I were extremely frightened, we were facing the door , Joon didn't look like he was going to open it , he was trembling, I just took a deep breath, put my right hand on the and pulled the door slowly.. When I heard a man voice inside saying :
 
“Pause time guys! Good job everyone.”
 
The door was fully open, Joon and I were standing outside, when a tall man came to us , wiping his sweat away with a white towel.
 
“We were waiting for you”, He said, drank a sip from his water bottle, then continued “We're practicing Hip Hop today, I see you're already wearing the right clothes, Come in!” , Pulling us from our arms into the practice room.
As we entered, every single person in that room was glaring at us, they looked like typical copies of one another, scanning me from head to toe, I didn't know if it was because of the guy clothes I was wearing, or because they recognized who I was, all I knew was that I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with all those eyes staring at me weirdly, I just stood in line and prepared myself for the choreography.
 
“Let's get started”, Said the dance teacher, turning on the music with a remote control.
 
As my ears heard the beat of the music, my heart started following that beat, I felt as if it was trying to escape from my chest, while my body was staying still, the others were already dancing, I tried following the steps but I just failed, so I stayed there watching them moving, I was dying inside.
 

 
“Girls, we finished today's practice, Guys, you stay here.”, Said the dance teacher, “Mrs. Kim HyunA, I'll just let go this time since it's your first day.” He continued, looking at me.
 
As soon as he said “Mrs. Kim HyunA” , the room became quiet, everyone was staring at me wondering if I was really the Kim HyunA everyone knew, the former wonder girls member, who left the group for unknown reasons, the one who was about to win the title of “the best idol dancer”, but who quit a week before the ceremony.. There was also a rumor saying that I left because I got pregnant, It was all over the internet, the newspapers, I guess that was the reason why most of my fans turned antis, and why everyone was bashing me.. The trainees who were in the room then started whispering to each other's ears, I could see them pointing at me from the big mirror in front, but I didn't really care,  I never did anything wrong, and I wasn't obliged to explain anything to anyone.
 
 I just took my back bag, and got out from the dance room, I didn't know where to go, since It was my first day.. So I just followed a group of trainees, when suddenly they stopped in a huge open room , it looked almost like a living room, it had sofas, a Television, tables.. I was looking for a place where to sit, but each time I went to sit somewhere, someone took the place I was planning to sit in, so
 
I just gave up and went behind , where there were stairs leading to the 5th floor, and sat on a stair, waiting for Joon to come out from the practice room.. The trainees took out lunch boxes and started eating, , the food they were eating looked so appealing, I was craving food, but all I had was a tiny chocolate bar that I couldn't take out because I was too embarrassed to, So I just stayed there wishing I had homemade kimbap and egg rolls, I turned my iPod on to entertain myself a bit .. When suddenly a group of 6 guys came into the room, I immediately paused my music, and went running to them, I could hear girls screaming, but I didn't really care since all I wanted was Joon to come back .
 
“I'm sorry”, I said “Did you finish the dance practice? Did the trainees come out yet?”
 
The two who were in front started smiling ironically as soon as I spoke to them, while three others were discussing something, and the other one was busy texting behind, they all were wearing expensive brand clothes, and were very handsome, I was standing there waiting for them to answer, when suddenly the short one who was talking to his two friends noticed me.
 

 
“Nice, another one trying to get attention..” , He said.
 
The girls who were in the room burst in laughter right after hearing what he told me, He just walked away , the others followed him , while the one who was behind wore his shades and followed them as well, after giving me a cold glance.
'How arrogant..', I thought to myself.. They seemed rude and disrespectful, all I wanted to know was if Joon was finishing soon or not,
 
I was tired of waiting, and needed company, why couldn't they just answer my question.. I was wondering If I had said something wrong without knowing it, When suddenly I felt someone hugging me from behind.
 
“Boo, you missed me?”, Said a manly voice.
 
“Joonie, you scared me”, I said, after realizing it was Joon who came back, I was relieved he did.
 
He smiled, held my cheeks and played with them, He used to always play with my face , He said it felt like pudding, then he stopped, as if he remembered something .
 
“Oh, by the way.. What were you doing with BEAST? Do you know them?”, He asked.
 
“BEAST? Who are BEAST?”
 
He smiled, then explained, “I guess you don't know them since they debuted when you were having treatment for your agnoraphobia”, then continued “They're the 6 guys to whom you just spoke.”
 
 “So.. They weren't trainees?”
 
“No, they're Idols.”, He said.
 
I was shocked, what embarrassment, I had just humiliated myself in front of everyone without knowing it, I felt like this day was a total failure, and wanted to hide under a rock, so I just lowered my head and sighed deeply, hoping it would make me feel better, which didn't happen.