Harukai-Kun - Freedom
come at me bro ♡ request shop oneauthor; Harukai-Kun
title; Freedom
Title; [3/5]
-- The title, Freedom, reveals too much of the story. At first glance, readers would roughly make out the storyline, and would usually scan through the chapters. I would suggest for a new title to be given for this story.
Description; [7/10]
Graphics: [N/A /10]
Character Organizing; [6/10]
-- The variation of characters confuse the readers – let the characters lead the readers into the plot, so try to make the character relations less complicated.
Plot; [9/10]
-- The grammar used in the story provides less space for confusion in the story, and brings out the topic – rebellion – fairly well.
Flow; [10/10]
Style; [5/5]
Originality; [9/10]
-- Writers, commonly unprofessional ones, tend to avoid the difficult topic of rebellion against adults, yet this story is able to highlight the plight of many teenagers who are influenced by different people, like taking drugs and drinking alcohol illegally.
Captivation; [8/10]
Grammar and Spelling; [10/10]
Ending; [8/10]
-- The of the story varies from the start to the middle of each chapter. Try to capture the readers’ attention throughout the whole writing, until the whole story ends with a flourish.
Total ;
[75/90]
[83/100]
review by OnJong
[i'm sory it's so late >.< please forgive me]
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