elf_verl - +=Many Faces Of Love=+
come at me bro ♡ request shop oneauthor; elf_verl
Title; [4/5]
Description; [9/10]
- The only problem with the text was that the quotes could have been in a font that differentiates itself from the other words, to grab the reader’s attention.
Graphics: [9/10]
- A little basic; the main picture and the background should not be of the same colour; it makes the picture look redundant. The main picture could look smudged to create a memory-like image.
Character Organizing; [8/10]
- Confusing; additional characters would confuse the reader. Most writers change the personality of the main characters when they add another person in the story, thus making readers unfamiliar with the story as they go on.
Plot; [10/10]
- Clear enough; Yonni was an orphaned child raised by another family, and there was initial rivalry and jealousy. There should be more emphasis on Ryeowook and Heechul’s brotherly bond.
Flow; [8/10]
- A little jerky at times, and characters should be introduced once they are involved in the story. Too many parts of the story have been skipped, which would make the reader wonder what happened in that period of time.
Style; [5/5]
- There is a wide variation of vocabulary, and the story is stuck to only one family and a few outsiders, a feat which most writers are weak in.
Originality; [9/10]
- Most of the time, fan-fictions are written based on family bonds, which will make similarly-plotted stories clichéd.
Captivation; [8/10]
- In chapters, where the problems faced by any character in the story is redundant, the readers would tend to give up reading the chapter, missing information in the story. Try to focus on thing happening in the family, and not writing about only one character.
Grammar and Spelling; [9/10]
- Almost no spelling mistakes, though ‘racquet’ should be ‘racket’ (loud disturbing noises) in Chapter 7; Paragraph 1. In the same chapter, on Line 12 (Paragraph 3), ‘calmly’ would be more appropriate for the context.
Ending; [8/10]
- The ending of each chapter are usually cut off abruptly, giving the readers a sense of curiosity which will die down when the story is stopped. Make the chapters descriptive, so that the reader would be satisfied with the chapter and continue supporting your story.
Total; [87/100]
review by OnJong
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