//seven

-

Sunggyu kept glancing at you with a worried face. Everyone else had come down to get some breakfast, including Woohyun and Yoojin. You kept your face bowed down, avoiding anyone’s gaze, most especially your bestfriend’s and her boyfriend's.

You felt Sunggyu’s hand gripped yours under the table.

You felt bad for worrying Sunggyu like this, but how can you stay calm after that talk with Hoya.

“Were you with Hoya this morning?” Sunggyu asked kindly, trying to start a conversation.

Everyone else doesn’t seem to notice your weird actions that morning. Hoya just kept glancing at you, smiling a little. He didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but if no one will tell you things like that, who will?

You merely nodded, as you forced bread in your mouth, so you won’t have to answer Sunggyu and his follow up questions. You heard him sigh defeatedly and instantly felt bad. It’s not his fault. Really, it’s not.

“I know that the closest male figure you have in your life is Myungsoo and Sunggyu.” Hoya said. But for you, he’s also one of the few male you trust. You had told him already how your mom and dad had separated when you were younger and that you know that they’re still not in good terms, and are just pretending for your sake.

“If there’s something bothering you, you can always tell me if you can me if you can’t tell Myungsoo or Sunggyu.”

You nodded slightly. You were trying to collect your thoughts. They’re really everywhere. Everytime you have guy problems, either you talk to Suzy or Yoojin. But you don’t think you can look at Yoojin straight in the eye for a few days, or maybe weeks, not after what you have seen. You know Yoojin’s life must be active and all, since she’s in a relationship with Woohyun, but you never imagined being that wild.

But how can you tell, Hoya, who’s a male, about these things?

You cleared your throat. Hoya took this a sign that you’re ready to speak, and shifted his body, so he’d be looking your way.

“I…” You hesitated. Can you really do this?

“Howon, promise me this will be just between the two of us, and that you won’t judge me or laugh at me or see me different after this,” You said all in one breathing. “Because if not, I don’t think we can ever be friends again.”

Hoya frowned at the severity of your words. Sure he can be playful and mischievous at times, but he’s not the teasing type to you when he knows it’s serious.

“I promise.”

You heaved a heavy breathing.

“You see, when I started being in a relationship with Sunggyu, I was always very careful.” You paused, looking at Hoya for any reaction. When he didn’t have any, you took it as a good sign. He still seemed to be listening and taking no judgement towards you whatsoever.

“I was always scared knowing or rather, unknowing, how much guys are capable.”

“Capable of what?” Hoya interrupted, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Capable of….” You gritted your teeth. How were you supposed to make yourself clear?

“You can talk however you want. Don’t hold back if it makes you uncomfortable. Don’t think of me as a male here, and you don’t have to be careful with words. I’m not Sunggyu.” Hoya told you reassuringly.

“Thanks.” You mumbled.

So you began telling Hoya how you have these stereotypes of male being always ually frustrated, which means, men are always looking for a partner to mate with, whether romantically or just to get over with their hormones. Hoya looked like he was about to protest but he kept himself, waiting for you to get finished.

“But when I met Sunggyu and your group of friends, I was starting to think otherwise. That maybe I’m wrong. But the perception of guys, always or always… um… always excited over seeing a women or something close to that, still scares the hell out of me. And I know that we’re all adult now, and that I should be more open minded about it, but I’m just still not ready.”

Hoya waited for a while to see if you’re still going to add something, when you did not speak, he looked at you kindly.

“If you’re not ready, I supposed you’re talking about here, and then I don’t think Sunggyu hyung will force you. Have you two every discussed about it? I mean, doing it?”

You shook your head.

“I thought so. I’m trying to understand what makes you see us that way. I mean, males in general. Although I can’t speak for the rest of the male species, but males in our age almost always have raging hormones. If you’re scared that someone will take advantage of you, then you shouldn’t be. You got Sunggyu to protect you. You have us.”

You nodded, looking down. Hoya sighed when he sees you still looking uncomfortable.

“I can see that you’re still a little skeptical.” He laughed nervously as he brushed his hair.

“Okay, this time, promise me you won’t judge me or any of the boys.” You looked up at him and nodded.

“While it’s true that all boys are always watching , always gawking at y women and like you said, women, you still have to know that we can control it. Not everyone is always, all the time or wanting to someone or whatnot. We all have women in our lives whom we respect and can’t see as…. Like that. For example, I have Suzy, my mother, and you.”

You smiled a little at what Hoya had said.

“But, someone had told me, it’s normal for a couple to do that act. I’ve never really had any serious relationship other than Sunggyu. And I’m… really scared. What Woohyun told me—“

“Woohyun?!” Hoya growled. He should have known it. Woohyun, the youth who have been born with raging hormones.

“Look, whatever Woohyun told you—“

“No, listen to me. It’s true. I know every word is true. Not only Woohyun, but also everyone from school. I know that we cannot forever just stay holding hands, playfully kissing, etc. We’re not kindergarten. And… I see how you don’t approve of Suzy having Myungsoo. I was thinking maybe you didn’t want her to be in a relationship because you know if Suzy and Myungsoo’s relationship gets deeper…”

Hoya looked at you thoughtfully. He wanted to laugh, but not at you. It’s fascinating how you said all those things. He never know you have all those stuff worrying you in your head.

“You know, as a guy, well, it’s true that we would like it if our partners will share with us something so intimate like that, but decent guys wouldn’t force them on their girlfriends. They would be willing to wait. I know Myungsoo is decent enough for Suzy. And that she listens to me well. I would always tell her to not do something irresponsible that would get her in trouble.” Hoya said.

You stared at him for a moment, wishing you have an older brother just like him.

“To tell you the truth, you changed Sunggyu hyung so much. I’ve never seen him look at you like that; he values you so much, and handles you with so much care, like he’s scared if he’s not careful enough, he’ll break you. I don’t want to compare you with the other girls he had, but it’s the first time we’ve seen him like this.” Hoya told you. You smiled at the thought and mumbled your thanks.

You fell in a comfortable silence, with a little peace in your heart. You know that Myungsoo, Hoya and Sunggyu will always be there to protect you whatever happens.

“I’m assuming you’ve walked on them on the deck, which makes you panic stricken like that.”

You looked at him, confused, and then you saw the little smirk he has on his face. Suddenly you realized what he was talking about and your face turned bright red.

He chuckled lightly.

“Your face was so pale and was running from the dining area with your eyes tightly shut. Don’t worry, Woohyun is just an exhibitionist like that. I’m just not sure of Yoojin. I know Sunggyu hyung will not make you do things that you don’t want to, so if all your troubles basically just comes down to one question, I don’t think you don’t have to do what Yoojin and Woohyun does just to please Sunggyu hyung.”

By this time, you were quite sure your whole body is as red as a tomato. How could… Did Hoya also saw them?

“I was talking with Eunjung at the beach shore.” He said, as if reading your mind.

“And I just have to get her back to her room, before she saw them. I was quite embarrassed myself, but we’ve know Woohyun for so long. And like you, Yoojin did quite a drastic change on him.”

-

You finally decided to end your trance when you noticed Sunggyu was just sitting quietly beside you instead of playing with the boys at the water.

“Go play with them,” You shook his arm lightly and smiled a little, pointing at the boys.

“No, I’ll stay with you.” He said, soberly. You seriously feel bad now for making him feel this way.

“If I go play with them, will you also play with us?” You asked, scooting closer to him. He looked up at you, blinking his eyes.

“You know you can tell me if I did something wrong, or something you don’t like.” He said, he sounded like he’s about to cry because you’ve been awfully quiet and avoiding any kind of conversation.

“Noooo,” You pulled him towards you so you’d be half hugging him half tugging.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just thinking something. Nothing else.” He looked at you, hesitant to believe.

“I swear. I’m okay now. I’m sorry I made you worry.” You told him tenderly, interlacing your hands with his.

“Really?” He asked.

“Really, really.” You smiled widely. Hoya’s right. Sunggyu is always too worried about you. He’s always asking if you’re comfortable, or if there’s anything you need. He can’t get any more perfect than the way he is right now. You smiled gentlyly at your boyfriend as he placed your cute sun hat over your head before going under the sun.

You wonder how he is before you get to know him.

-

“Um… “ Sunggyu held your arm, so you’re both left behind the lobby as the others boarded back to their own cars.

“Hmm?” You smiled at him. You told the other that you’ll be just in a few minutes.

“Do you want to stay over at my house?” He blurted out. You were stunned for a moment, before you notice Sunggyu’s uncomfortable state. You assumed he’d been having a hard time battling himself whether to tell it to you or not.

“Sure? We’re heading towards your house first, right?”

“No, I mean, do you want to spend the night there? Well, we told your mom we’ll be out for 4 days, and since we only spend the 3 days here, I was thinking….” He rubbed his nape nervously. You didn’t like making Sunggyu in a tight spot like this, so you hugged his arm.

“Alright!” You told me, smiling. When he finally sees you smiling, he relaxed and caressed your cheeks.

“I just want to be with you on your birthday. I told myself I cannot lose to your school work.” He said, laughing a little.

You nodded. He was right. If you go home now, you’ll probably just bury yourself with schoolwork.

“I love you.” You kissed his cheeks as you two made your way towards his car.

-

Sunggyu’s house screams Sunggyu’s personality. Everything is in order, all in perfect angles, cohesive design pieces and everything is kept well from dust.

You’ve been to his house a lot of times, but you seldom come alone. You’re always with friends. And if he’ll bring you there, the most you’ve stayed is probably an hour. Sunggyu’s parents are in the US, and he has his own house since he started university, a sort of gift from them.

“Let’s get the bags in the room first.” He said, taking your bags off your hand.

Actually, you’ve never been to his room, and by this time, you were not surprised to see it as clean and as organized as the rest of the house.

“You can sit on the bed. I’ll just put some things away.” He said, motioning you towards the bed. He noticed you were a little uncomfortable, so he straightened out and chuckled.

“Ya, just make yourself at home. I’ll just go get the guest room ready, since I figure you won’t like us sharing the bed, right?” Sunggyu said kindly. You felt bad, because even after all the months you’ve been a couple, sharing a bed with Sunggyu is something you avoid. But remembering what Hoya had said,

“No, it’s okay. I can sleep here, if it’ll be a trouble to make the other room ready.” You added immediately.

Sunggyu raised an eyebrow at you. He immediately strode to your side.

“I can just sleep on the floor.” He said, holding your hand gently.

“No. It’s okay. Unless you don’t want to sleep beside me,” You joked. He smiled affectionately before he kissed you on your forehead.

“Okay, you can go change to more comfortable clothes while I make us some food.”

-

You started to believe that everything Hoya had said was true. As much as you were careful around Sunggyu, he’s being extra careful with you too. He would always make sure you’re having fun or comfortable.

You and Sunggyu played video games in his gaming room. But not after your movie marathon on the living room where you both spread a big fluffy mattress that previous had the couch. You both made a comfortable set up by the living room. Once or twice, you’d feel yourself dozing off in Sunggyu arms only because it feels so comfortable.

By the time it was dinner, Sunggyu cooked something which you suspiciously thought he asked helped from Woohyun.

“How is it?” Sunggyu leaned towards you as you took your first bite.

“Perfect!” You answered enthusiastically, making him chuckle.

“Aigoo, my baby is so adorable.” He cooed, pinching your cheeks.

You decided to tell him things later, things like you want to have a very open communication relationship. You don’t want to feel awkward anymore.

“So, what do you want to do later when we get back?” Sunggyu asked, swaying your hand lightly, while you two took a late night walk around town, after you grabbed some ice cream in the nearby convenience store.

“Do you want to drink later? Let’s buy some, and ddukbokki too!” You told him excitedly.

Once again, you settled on the mattress in front of his huge flatscreen television, only this time, it’s in his room.

“Do you want to eat these already?” Sunggyu asked, holding out the ddukbokki up. You shook your head and just patted the empty space beside you so he can take his place already.

You already have the bottles of soju and 2 shot glasses down beside you.

It was a very weird combination. Soju and popped corn. You and Sunggyu were so focused on the movie that you barely made any conversation whatsoever. Sunggyu would just hold you tightly on his chest whenever you’d flinch on a particular violent and scary scene.

“Yah! Why are we even watching this?!” You yelled a little, but obviously dying to watch more. Sunggyu had insisted you two watch something scary but action packed movie.

“Okay, enough, let’s eat that ddukbokki, I’m starving!” Sunggyu said, just before the movie ends.

“Hey! But it’s about to end!” You protested. He made a face at you. So much for complaining about the movie.

You waited until he had put the ddukbokki in the bowl on his study table. You two had made his room a picnic ground.

“Careful not to spill anything.” You told him as you laid the small portable dining table on the mattress. You settled comfortably at the edge of his bed, your back leaning on it while he sat crossed legged near you. He did an eye smile that he knows you love so much, until you can’t help squealing at how cute he is.

“Am I that cute?” He asked, wriggling his eyebrows, as you stuff his mouth with ddukbokki so he would stop teasing you.

“Listen Sunggyu,” You started. You felt him perked up and fell a serious face. You never call him Sunggyu in a such serious manner whenever you two are alone.

“I wanted us to talk,” You said, reaching for his hand. You can tell he suddenly looks nervous and worried, but really, it’s nothing to be worried about.

“What is it, baby?” He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

You wanted to let him know, and to apologize, for still having awkwardness inside you towards him. You know that you should fully trust him and such, and by holding back to him, you feel like you don’t love him enough as much as he do to you.

“I think it would be best if we’re bestfriends too.” You said, your breathing failing you. You don’t know why it makes you nervous. Maybe the fact that you’re going to open up to him just like what you did to Hoya causes it.

“W-what?” He asked. He seemed to heard wrong. He thought you’re breaking up with him.

“No, no,” You cupped his confused face and scoot closer to him. You almost laugh at him, but seeing the heartbreaking confused face he had on, you just don’t have the heart to do so.

“I mean, it would be really nice if we’re best friends too, not just boyfriends and girlfriends."

He made you a look, which gives you a sign that he don’t understand.

“You see, I like you and all, being my boyfriend, but I also want you to be my bestfriend who I can tell everything and anything without being embarrassed or holding back.”

“You know you could always tell me anything,” Sunggyu told you gently, squeezing your hand.

“I know, but… it’s just me. I always feel awkward, or scared, that if I tell you some things, or voice out some things, you might see me differently.” You explained.

“Are you judging me like that?” He raised an eyebrow before he heaved a heavy sigh. “I’ve always considered you my bestfriend. I take care of you, and I like doing it.”

You nodded; he does do a perfect job with that. But the point is,

“But you’re always nice to me!” You burst out, making him look at you with a mild surprise.

“I’m good to you because I like you!”

“Well, you’re sometimes mean to Woohyun and he’s your bestfriend. And you like him too!” You pointed it out. He gave you an amused look before he chuckles.

“Ugh. Never mind.” You grumbled as you forcedly popped a mouthful of ddukbokki angrily. You can’t believe how childish and immature sounded earlier. You were more frustrated with yourself than with him.

“Come here,” Sunggyu pulled your arm and you went crawling to his lap.

“Is that what my princess wants? Her prince sometimes acting colds towards her?” Sunggyu asked playfully, rocking back and forth with you trapped in his arms.

“No, not cold. But…” You racked your brain for the right word this time.

“But I want to be more natural; I mean, like treat each other like how we treat our friends. I would want to treat you how I always treat Myungsoo, or Hoya, or even Yoojin. I want to talk about make-ups, shopping, or even boys.”

“YA! Why would you want to talk about boys to me?!” Sunggyu jokingly protested as he tackled and tickled you, but immediately stopped when your feet hit the table with the food and drinks on it.

“I mean, how I see boys, who are goodlooking or such,”

“You want to gossip with me?” He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips curving up. “I can do that.”

You pouted at him adoringly, but continued talking.

“And I wanted you to talk to me too, like how you’d talk to boys. Like that, we would always be open to each other. We might see each other transparently without even talking. You know, like how bestfriends do.” You explained him while playing with his hands.

“Is that too much?” You looked up at him, suddenly worried if you’re being too demanding.

“No, no,” he immediately said, squeezing your waist with his free hand.

“I like that too.” He said, kissing your lips lightly.

“Is it okay for me to do that? I do that to Woohyun too.” He joked as he tried stealing another kiss from you.

“Yah!” You lightly hit his chest, earning a fake groaned from him.

“I love you.” He whispered to your ear before nuzzling on the side of your neck. His hold on you suddenly felt different, but right.

You felt him placed a tender kiss on the skin between your shoulder and neck, making you groan lowly.

“Do you do that to Woohyun too?” You joked, but instead, your voice came out in a low moan. Sunggyu brought up his head and you met him smirk.

“Sometimes,” he replied, you chuckled, knowing he loves playing around.

He pulled you up to your feet and led you towards the bed, in which he sat down on the edge. He sat you on his lap, with your legs on the side of both his legs. He grabbed the back of your thighs to support you so you won’t fall.

You felt incredibly large amount of uncontrollably fluttering butterflies in your stomach. It’s even much much more than you felt on that beach. But looking at Sunggyu comforts you, and Hoya’s voice rang to your ears.

When he leaned closer for him to reach your lips, you held on the back of his neck, and pulled him closer. As your lips touched his, it felt different. He was kissing you again with so much intensity that you can barely keep up.

“Did I… Did I go overboard?” He asked, panting, when you pulled back to catch your breath.

You shook your head and leaned again so he could kiss you.

You were so concentrated in kissing him that you didn’t notice you were already lying on your back with him hovering you.

You gasped in surprise. You’re not ready yet!

Sunggyu felt your shock and immediately pulled away.

“Are you okay?” He asked, cupping your cheeks and sat away from you so you can sit up too.

“Y-yeah.” That little make out made you a bit dizzy.

“Sunggyu oppa,” You started, leaning towards him.

“I’m sorry, I’m not ready yet.” You mumbled an apology. He seemed to catch it. You were expecting an angry frustrated outburst, but surprisingly, he didn’t.

“I know. And I’m not trying to force you on to it.” He said, making you face him. You saw him smile a little at you.

“Don’t you like kissing me?” He asked, finally settling down on the bed, with you tucked under his arms.

“Hmmm…”

“What?” He looked at you wide eyed, when he didn’t receive an immediate response.

“It was like… like eating cotton candy!” You clapped your hands together.

“It’s sweet, and that you can’t get enough!” You giggled; he tickled you, knowing you’re playing with him.

“I like kissing you, but it feels warm everytime, like, I cannot control it.” You said, choosing to be honest with him. It’s a start.

“I feel warm, like I wanted more?” You turned to him, as if looking for an answer.

“I feel like that too.” He said, kissing your temples. “Like if I start kissing you, I want to do more.” He said, smirking.

“Ya! erted grandpa!” You smack his chest a little hard.

“Then you’re the grandma!” He laughed.

When the two of you ceased laughing, you noticed him leaning down again. Maybe it won’t be so bad to give Sunggyu what he wants. You trust him. You finally put all your heart to that trust. You felt yourself relaxed under him, knowing he’ll never do something you’re not ready for yet.