“Ji Min?”

“Ji Min?”

It was the same way she remembered Kai calling her name that day… the call… the way he spoke was so nervous, so broken that it would be forever imprinted in her mind.

“Ji Min!” the person opposite snapped, quite annoyed.

She jerked before smiling bashfully. While she was daydreaming her hand that was holding a spoon was suspended in the air, halfway from the table and her lips.

“Sorry.” She quickly stuffed with capsicum just so she could escape from giving an excuse.

But the other person wasn’t having that. “Ji Min.”

Ji Min stopped eating and sighed. “Yes Sulli unnie?” the other girl worriedly poked at her fruit salad while giving Ji Min a pointed stare.

“Surely Kai didn’t have that big an impact on you now did he?”

She winced. Sulli sighed, as there was her answer. 

It was one of those moments where the elder girl decided not to speak – contrary to her usual, loud behaviour. She knew that what Ji Min needed most right now was a peaceful (or something close to that) silence.

The two were on a girl’s-only date, Sulli’s treat after Ji Min’s check up at the hospital. It had barely been twenty-four hours since Sulli found the poor girl broken and half delirious with sobs in the SM medical office.

Since that moment, Ji Min had spilled everything to Sulli, including her secret relationship, the difficulties with the members and her schedules, and even the situation with Krystal.

“I’m just so tired unnie.” Ji Min stirred her salad around dismally. 

She began explaining what she was going to do when she was to go to China, and even began relaying to Sulli a record of what she was going to eat. Apparently, such a schedule was necessary for a busy girl like her.

But Sulli wasn’t even listening.

Au contraire, Sulli was actually trying to suppress the growing frustration in her chest.

It wasn’t frustration at Ji Min, but actually it was directed at a certain someone – Kim Jong In.

Since the very beginning Sulli had been irked to the point of insanity by that boy.

The moment he had stepped into the SM Building as a trainee every single character had flocked towards him, girl or boy. He was the new golden apple of SM; the one that had the most recognised potential.

However being away from the SM building for a majority of the time because she was part of F(X), Sulli grew to dislike him. 

She was peeved by the way he acted modest, but she knew that he knew that he was indeed, quite talented.

To her, his diffidence in front of the cameras was merely a façade to fool the silly little fangirls.

To be honest, although she was quite unhappy about it, she had suspected there was something going on between Ji Min and Jong In.

It wasn’t through Ji Min that she had known – heck, she had only known Ji Min for a few months (but liked her immediately) – but it was Krystal rather, who had come back to the dorms quite often, fuming that instead of Jong In’s attention directed to her, it was towards his phone.

“Well obviously he has a girlfriend, and I bet you she’s a little of an ulzzang.” Krystal had ranted.

For that crude comment, she had been severely berated by Amber and Victoria, but being the hard headed and even spoilt baby of SM she was, Krystal took no heed of their words.

Sulli refused to tell Ji Min, but the day they found out that their co-ordi unnie’s team included Ji Min, Krystal had thrown a massive hissy fit, labelling Ji Min as a ‘homewrecker’ and ‘’ even though the other four members were aware that if anyone was the homewrecker, it would be Krystal herself.

Ji Min was not well known through SM as there were many other models that came in and out of the building too, but she just had a certain charm, an aura around her that just turned everybody’s heads.

She was a stunner surely, and Sulli felt the need to protect her from the dangers of the SM trainee competition - namely Krystal, and though Ji Min often felt pressured and suffocated by Sulli; Sulli took no notice. 

A young girl like her needed to be taken care of.

Because if she didn’t, then Ji Min could go downhill and end up like the D list drug addicts like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and those other disgusting people.

Sulli refused to even acknowledge the thought.

“and I would give anything for just one more chance to say sorry.”

Sulli stared at her. Was she still going on about Jong In? She was sure it had been a full fifteen minutes already.

“Why?”

She blurted the question out before she could stop herself. 

“What?” Ji Min raised her head, blinking slowly.

Sulli opened to speak but hesitated. No, she told herself, this is the right thing to do. And so she spoke. 

“Why do you want to say sorry?”

The younger girl stared at Sulli as if she had sprouted a third eye. “Well obviously it was me that was wrong.” she spoke quietly. “I wasn’t taking care of myself and Kyung Soo oppa was only looking after me so I shouldn’t have been so angry.”

Sulli almost shot out of her seat. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing!

“Why the hell are you getting so angry at yourself?” Sulli stabbed her fork in Ji Min’s direction. 

“Well not only was I tired, but I had to change the whole concept of F(X)’s comeback to Electric Shock because Kangta sunbaenim didn’t like it, so it really wasn’t right of me to get so freaking pissed at Kyung Soo oppa.” Ji Min spoke sincerely, as if she knew it was her fault the whole time; as if it really was her fault.

The older girl couldn’t believe her ears. She could not believe that Ji Min, the girl who was eternally devoted to her boyfriend, just blatantly threw self-respect out the window and lowered herself down to a meagre ant.

It almost hurt to watch her dongsaeng fall so low.

“Han Ji Min.” she growled. Ji Min looked at her with wide eyes.

“How can you say that?” Sulli whispered in a high pitched tone. “How can you just say sorry every single time? You know, someday you’re going to be right and when you want Jong In to say sorry, he’s not going to because you’ve spoiled him too much!”

Ji Min frowned.  “No, I-”

“No you listen to me Ji Min.” She gripped the fork in her hand, willing it not to break. 

“I know how much you like this boy, and I’m not saying that he’s a rotten person but you must know when to put your foot down. He’s running all over you!”

Sulli waited for a moment to let the information sink in.

After a few seconds of silence, Ji Min shook her head slowly, “No, I still think I was wrong.”

She gaped at Ji Min. Then, in a sudden out-of-character move, Sulli threw her napkin on the table and dragged Ji Min out of her chair.

“Unnie!” Ji Min gasped, looking back pitifully at the wasted food. “The bill-”

“I’ve already paid.” she snapped, shutting Ji Min up.

Ji Min knew it wasn’t a good time to interrupt her friend as she dragged Ji Min into the secluded area of the restaurant.

The moment they stepped in, Ji Min immediately forgot her woes and was overcome by awe. 

Golden stars decorated the black walls and dark gold curtains draped over the windows, allowing few people to look into the secret space. She allowed herself to be forced onto the couch by Sulli and continued to look around the room.

“Where-”

“This is the place where all stars hang out.” Sulli quickly rediverted her attention back to the topic, “But let’s not worry about that.”

To Ji Min’s surprise, Sulli took off her shoes and sat herself across from Ji Min with her legs crossed. She had never seen Sulli just so... relaxed before.

“Now.” Sulli’s stern tone made Ji Min just a little nervous. Her eyes darted around the room before settling back on Sulli’s. 

“I don’t know what has gotten into you Han Ji Min, but I know you aren’t a push over. This following question is genuine and honest;” Sulli crossed her heart in an attempt to joke.

“What do you see in Kim Jong In?”

Ji Min stared at Sulli, slightly ajar in surprise. “Are you seriously asking me this?”

Sulli rolled her eyes impatiently and slapped her own thighs in anticipation. “Yes, now answer.”

Her chest rose and fell as Ji Min exhaled a deep breath.

“Well,” her eyes took on a dreamy look as she spoke about Jong In, “he just... makes me feel real.”

“Jong In... he, he pisses me off and sometimes the way he’s just so quiet annoys me to no end; I mean, sometimes it’s like I speak for the two of us and that’s unfair... and not only that but he is constantly biting his nails.”

Ji Min turned her bright eyes to Sulli and looked at her. “Do you know how long it took for him to stop biting them? God!” she threw her hands up in the air.

“He’s incredibly bossy and he knows that he’s hot to the point where sometimes I think he’s conceited, and rarely talks about his feelings and his family with me...”

It didn’t click.

Sulli really didn’t understand. “So why don’t you... break it off with him?” confusion laced her voice.

“Hah.” Ji Min shook her head with a smile on her face.

“These are the things that piss me off about him...” she was quiet for a moment and bit her lip.

“But... he sure knows how to reach my heart.” Unconsciously, she put her hand to the left side of her chest, feeling her steady and strong heartbeat.

Ji Min sighed. 

“Though Jong In may sound conceited because of the way he acts... he never misses a chance to tell me i’m pretty, even when i’m wearing...” she looked down at her casual jeans and tee shirt, “...this. He hates people touching his shoulders and back because of his injury.”

“Though he’s incredibly domineering whenever I have a suggestion to add he’ll listen. Though he lacks motivation to speak to me about his feelings... he shows them to me in the tiniest of ways.” Ji Min looked at Sulli with sad eyes.

“You know, on our first date he didn’t speak much at all; he was sweet but silent.”

“And then?” Sulli asked, leaning forwards for more.

Ji Min smiled. “And then I heard from Sehun that before our date, he was freaking out at the dorms. Sehun oppa said that he had never seen Jong In so... nervous before.”

Tears leaked out of her eyes and she hastily rubbed them away. Her eyes were already sore from the previous tears she had shed. 

But they wouldn’t stop.

“I make him nervous unnie.” she looked at Sulli with happy but worried eyes.

“I make him experience feelings that his friends haven’t seen before. Unnie, isn’t that what love is?”

Sulli gasped quietly. Love? Surely not. Ji Min couldn’t possibly know what love is.

“Jong In is so gentle with me... he’s not the y dancer people see on screen and he’s not a quiet mouse... when Joon Myun oppa said that he was warm on the inside, he wasn’t joking you know.” Ji Min laughed a little.

“L-love?”

Ji Min was surprised as Sulli spoke the thought she had been thinking. “Love? Could it be?” she murmured dreamily and shook her head.

However, Sulli was still sceptical. “Jong In does the things that Minho oppa does for me, and I see him as a brother and he sees me as a sister.” Ji Min sighed and poked Sulli’s knee. “You’re so pessimistic.”

“I’m being realistic.” Sulli corrected.

“Ji Min-ah... what’s your definition of love?”

The question caught her off guard. 

Really, Ji Min already had her answer, but she didn’t know how to put it into words.

“Love...”

She struggled quite a bit trying to find a decent explanation so she decided to tell a story instead, “You know, my halmoni died a few years ago from dementia.”

“But before that, she developed arthritis in her bones and she couldn’t do things she loved anymore.” Ji Min picked at her dress.

“One day when I was around seven - something like that - I remember watching haraboji bend down next to her and paint her toenails for her even though he had arthritis too.”

A small smile graced her features as she reminisced. “I could hear his knees cracking with effort but he still did it.”

“And when haraboji died early last year, all he said was that he wanted to paint halmoni’s toes again. Omma freaked out but I still remember what happened.”

The two sat quietly after her recount.

“Isn’t that... doesn’t that... symbolise love?” She asked.

Sulli shrugged. “I would love to say yes, and though I believe  wholeheartedly that your grandparents loved each other, I can’t be sure because I’ve never experienced it.”

“Jong In... with him... the way he says my name is different. It’s like, as soon as he says my name I know i’m going to be safe. He’s going to take care of me and my name will be safe in his mouth.”

Ji Min finished and nodded, smacking her lips together in satisfaction.

“Yep. That’s my definition.”

-

Exactly 2,300 words for this chapter ;)

It doesn’t seem like much happened this chapter but it’s weird cause Sulli in my eyes has always been the spoiled brat. And so writing about her like this is very... out of character for me.

Double post to commemorate a Happy 16th Birthday to 2905-thai_JAE!