X. Periods and Puppets

Stalemate
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"Have you been crying?” Seulgi asked incredulously when Irene opened her front door for her neighbour.

 

“Raccoons trying to eat cotton candy are the modern day Sisyphus,” Irene sniffled, making Seulgi snort and pinch her cheek. “You don’t understand, Seulgi! The raccoon keeps washing the cotton candy, and it just disappears, right? It just disappears! The cotton candy was right in the raccoon’s hands, and this chonky guy is thinking, ‘, yes, I’m gonna eat a cloud,’ and he can’t understand where he went wrong, but they’ll never be together! That cotton candy is never coming back, and the raccoon is doomed to forever keep washing the cotton candy that he will never get to enjoy!” Irene sobbed.

 

Seulgi laughed, but pulled the older woman into her arms. “And that’s relatable to you? You ing weirdo!”

 

“I mean, we all keep trying and trying, but none of us are ever going to be truly happy,” Irene said in a comic moroseness. “Wait, why are you here?”

 

“Wendy called me?” Seulgi said in a mix of amusement and mild confusion. “She said that she was at a work conference in Japan, and that you were sick?” the bear asked, giving her neighbour a once-over. Irene was in her usual comfy sweats, but apart from the crying and the unfortunate fashion choices, she didn't look unhealthy. 

 

“Ugh, she’s so dramatic,” Irene said, fighting a blush. “I’m just on my period, and I don’t feel so great.” 

 

“Cute,” Seulgi commented dryly. “Well, she left me with some very specific instructions on how to take care of you,” the bear said, holding up a brown paper bag. “She made me pick up some kimchijjigae, and I’m supposed to heat up Mr. Snuggles and your blanket in the dryer so they’re nice and warm.”

 

Seulgi pushed past Irene and headed to the kitchen to put the soup down on the counter.

 

“Omg, Wendy is so ridiculous! Sweet though,” Irene said, biting her lower lip. 

 

“Pfft, she’s so sweet, but I’m the one stuck here doing all the work,” Seulgi grumbled.

 

“God, people are going to think we’re a throuple,” Irene laughed.

 

“Yes, but a throuple of what?” the bear joked, striding into Irene’s bedroom, full of purpose, before poking her head out. “What… is a Mr. Snuggles?”

 

“That’s classified information. You stay away from Mr. Snuggles!”

 

“What, I’m good enough to have a with, but I don’t have clearance to meet Mr. Snuggles?” Seulgi asked in mock hurt. 

 

“Yes,” Irene said flatly, crossing her arms stubbornly.

 

“Is he a toy?”

 

“No!”

 

“Is he the last remaining vestige of your heterouality?” 

 

“Ugh… go away, Seulgi!”

 

“I can’t! I have strict orders from Wendy! How come she gets to know what a Mr. Snuggles is?” Seulgi pouted. 

 

“‘Cause she doesn’t make fun of me!”

 

“Hehehehe,” Seulgi chuckled evilly. “It’s just too easy I can’t resist.”

 

 

*

 

 

Seulgi had finally fed Irene some soup, and had wrapped her into a bunnyburrito with a warm blanket. They were on the couch, watching YouTube videos.

 

“Hey, so I just found out that Wendy and I are the same age,” Seulgi said suddenly.

 

“Uh, yeah. I never realized, but I guess, yeah,” Irene replied absentmindedly.

 

Seulgi waggled her brows greasily at Irene.

 

“What?” the older asked, raising an eyebrow haughtily.

 

“You have a ,” Seulgi grinned accusingly.

 

“I… what??? A for what, idiots?”

 

“A for people exactly three years younger than you, so we’re not too young and we still understand all your ahjumma references, but we’re young enough that you can boss us around.”

 

“That- ohmygod, it’s true…”

 

Seulgi was laughing so hard. “Omg, Baechu! You’re so easy to gaslight into submission!”

 

 

*

 

 

“So, was that your first ?” Seulgi asked, scooching closer to where Irene was sitting on the edge of the couch.

 

“Yeah, it was,” the Baechubunny replied, shoving Seulgi’s face away with a playful grimace, when the younger had pushed her nose right to Irene’s face. 

 

“How was it?”

 

“It was okay,” Irene said, trying to keep from snickering. She knew the offhand comment would be triggering to Seulgi, who prided herself on her ual prowess.

 

The bear got surprisingly quiet and pensive though. 

 

“Hey, I was kidding,” Irene said with a nudge to Seulgi’s shoulder. “It was obviously insanely hot. I mean, I… I squirted,” she added, blushing. 

 

Seulgi smiled wistfully. “You know I think you’re my best friend?”

 

Irene smiled back, tracing the shell of Seulgi’s ear. “Yeah? Me? Not Krystal whom you’ve known since the Jurassic period?”

 

“She’s the friend I’ve known the longest,” Seulgi explained. “I hang out with a lot of people. And they’re awesome people. I just don’t think they know me very well. Also, they’re more likely to land me in jail than to bail me out, y’know?” she added with quiet chuckle.

 

“Hmmn… well, you and Wendy are my only friends, really,” Irene said, before suddenly burying her face in Seulgi’s neck and sniffing wildly like a rabid bloodhound. 

 

“What the !” Seulgi laughed, trying to squirm away. “Stop! What are you doing?”

 

“You smell good,” Irene whined, trying to sniff some more. 

 

“Stop! That tickles!” Seulgi shrieked.

 

Irene climbed on top of the bear, straddling her. Seulgi discovered Irene was surprisingly strong for an Oompa Loompa, as she held down the younger woman and ticklesniffed to her heart’s content. 

 

 

*

 

 

“Is she Nanalan?”

 

“What?? No! She’s Mona!”

 

“So the one with the Jersey tan is Nanalan?”

 

“Seulgi, the orange one is Nana. The show is called Nanalan ‘cause she’s hanging with her grandmother. It’s Nana land.”

 

Seulgi was quiet for a moment.

 

“So she’s an alien?” Seulgi asked, scrunching her nose in confusion.

 

“What?? No!”

 

“A frog?”

 

“Seulgi.” 

 

“I don’t understand! She looks like Yoda!”

 

“She’s a kid hanging out with her grandma!”

 

Seulgi paused to watch.

 

“Is she speaking English? Or any actual language? I feel like I’m high.”

 

“Right? It’s awesome. She’s so ing cute,” Irene said with a psychotic look in her eyes. “Like you…” she said slowly, eyes widening in a crazed realization before she took the bear’s cheeks to pinch them hard, like she was stretching pizza dough or trying to rip a mochi to pieces. 

 

“Oooooww!” Seulgi howled in pain. “Joohyun, what the ! You’re crazy! What are you doing?!”

 

The younger tried to fend off her neighbour, who was once again straddling her, pinching any inch of exposed flesh she could get her murderous hands on, gnawing on Seulgi’s shoulder like she was a zombie. 

 

“My god, you really are a teddy bear- no! A gummy bear!” Irene said, pupils blown in excited insanity. 

 

“Help,” Seulgi squeaked weakly.

 

 

*

 

 

It was ten pm when Seulgi let Wendy into Irene’s apartment. 

 

“Damn, did you come here straight from the airport?” 

 

“I just wanted to check on her,” Wendy explained sheepishly.

 

“I say check her into an institution!” Seulgi said in a bellowing whisper, her eyes welling up with indignant tears.

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Blue_is 0 points #1
Chapter 13: Most of the times I just have to re-read (how the hell is peanut hamburger connected to rejection????) I realized I am very simple minded I have to reach your level of intelligence to understand, you know those kinds of stuffs are like physics to me, Albert Einstein level, right you are Einstein author, I don't know if I understand nevertheless I am clapping my hands here, this makes me high and I don't even know what it feels to be high. I don't know anymore, I don't....
regurgitate #2
Chapter 13: Glazed doughnuts are the only doughnuts that matter. Everything else is a gastronomical aberration and abomination. Hmmm. So Rosie wants to take things slow, huh? Wonder if Seulgi can take that.
Oct_13_wen_03 13 streak #3
Chapter 13: I really want to keep them in the house and let them express their feel so bad 😭🩷
Oct_13_wen_03 13 streak #4
Chapter 12: Can't wait for more, if seulgi know about her feel before irene getting into relationships 😭
unknown237
#5
Chapter 12: of course they'll have their realizations in front of an ouija board
eunxiaoxlove #6
Chapter 12: Haha is there no one sane here?
Softtacos #7
Chapter 12: There goes Rose! Looking forward with this new pairing.!
Highseul
#8
Chapter 12: the note fslsksjshsg now i can’t unhear king julian every time jisoo appears 😭
dancingseulo
#9
Chapter 12: Too bad they only felt the romantic attraction between them after Irene agreed to be in a relationship with Wendy 🤧 Rosé finally appeared!
regurgitate #10
Chapter 12: Chapter 12: I'm sold! Can't believe you did it, but I sense the chemistry between Seulgi and Rosé. You turned a non-believer into a Justin Bieber. But yeah, you know what I mean.