When we were in college, people often asked me why I never had a girlfriend, or never even attempted to accept someone’s confession. Whenever they ask me that question, I just tell them that I’m too busy with school to have time for love, but in reality, I’ve always asked myself the same questions every night. Is it because my standards are too high? Or am I just not ready to commit yet? Or maybe I just haven’t met the right person for me? And then, on that one random day, reality finally hit me like a speeding truck. You came walking towards us with a woman in tow. The first time you introduced her to us, you looked so genuinely happy that I could physically feel my heart breaking right at that instant because for a long time, I was the only one capable of making you smile that bright. For the first time in my life, I was threatened. 

For years, I racked the deepest parts of my brain to try and find the truth when it has always been there staring right in front of my face. It’s you, Willow. You have always been my standard. I’ve never liked anyone else because all along, you’re the only one I can see my future with. 

•~•~•~•~•

Year 2010, Second Year College

“Kayce!!” Salubong sa akin ni Bryce pagkaupo ko sa picnic table at the garden kung saan kami tumatambay every vacant period. My friends — Bryce, Lucile and Nola — were already seated, nakalabas na ang mga baon at ready to eat lunch na. My best friend, Willow, was nowhere to be found though.

“Balita ko may ni-reject ka na naman? Angas mo talaga boss! Pang-ilan na ‘yan for this school year alone?” I knew she was gonna ask me this. I tried to ignore her question by preparing my food but I know they’re not gonna stop so I mentally prepared myself. Here we go again. 

“I heard it was Exie. Tama ba, Kayce?” Lucile inquired. I just nodded in response. A schoolmate of ours, Exie, waited for me at the gates earlier, wanting to talk to me in private. Turns out she wanted to ask for my permission to court me, which I turned down immediately kasi wala pa naman akong planong magkajowa. I didn’t want to lead her on. 

“Wait, Exie of the volleyball team?? That cutie? Kayce, bakit mo naman ni-reject?” Nola exclaimed. I just sighed, wanting to just get this over with. 

“I’ve said this countless times already, but my main focus for now is my studies. I’m not ready for a relationship yet.” Sabi ko na lang. ‘Di ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko nang sinabi ‘to sa kanila that I am starting to get tired of saying it over and over again. Kulang na lang i-record ko sarili ko para i-play ko na lang every time they ask. 

I saw that Bryce was about to rebut pero she immediately shut when a voice behind me spoke. “Leave her alone, guys. Ilang beses n’ya nang sinabing she’s not interested. Stop pushing your agenda onto her.” Napatingin ako sa likod ko nung marinig ko ang pamiliar na boses. There she is, my best friend Willow. She then sat at her usual spot beside me. 

“Napaka-OA mo talaga Willy Wonka. Hindi naman ikaw nanay n’yan para pagbawalan mo.” Pataray na saad ni Nola. “Pero sabagay, future wife mo naman pala so go lang.” Pahabol niya. Kinurot naman s’ya ni Will sa tagiliran, na agad namang ginantihan ng nakababata. We just laughed as we watched them taking turns in pinching each other, already used to them acting like this.

Pagkatapos namin kumain ay naghiwa-hiwalay na kami towards our respective destinations. Willow offered to walk me sa classroom ko — which I initially declined because her building is a little far from mine, but she insisted so wala na akong nagawa. 

“Does it bother you?” Willow suddenly asked, stopping us both in our tracks. I just looked at her, brows furrowed in confusion. “Does it bother you whenever they do what they do every time may nirereject ka? I’ll tell them to stop if it does.” She clarified. Napangiti naman ako sa tinuran n’ya. Her best friend, despite being intimidating and nonchalant most of the time, is actually a sweet and protective one. Her future gir