‘We’re best friends. We’ve known each other since diaper days. If there’s someone who knows and cares for you more than your own self, it’s me. It makes sense that we’d eventually choose to be with each other in the end, right?’ That’s what you said to me one time when I asked you why you thought of that arrangement, of me being your safety wife. I wanted to protest, wanted to deny it, but you’re right. You know me more than anyone, even myself, and that gives you power over me. It’s scary. 

You’ve always treated me so special to the point that our friends and my family wondered if we’re actually together. I wish I could say yes, honestly. I didn’t even know if you liked me, or you just treated me like that because I was your best friend. You always say that you know me more than myself, but did you know how you effortlessly make my heart go crazy with just a sight of your bright smile? Or how I look at you like you’re the one who hung the stars in the sky? Everyone else noticed, our friends noticed, heck, even our families noticed. Everyone noticed but you. I was always here but you never saw me, not in the way I wanted, at least.

•~•~•~•~•

April 11, 2011, Kayce’s Birthday

“Willy texted me just now, nangangamusta. Akala n’ya siguro makukuha n’ya ako sa paganyan-ganyan n’ya. Nagtatampo pa rin ako sa kanya.” I can see my mom pouting from where I am seated right now. I am chilling on the sofa, waiting for her to finish getting ready for our “birthday date” today.

We’re currently in Japan for vacation. It’s been a while since we bonded kaya she decided to take a leave sa work n’ya for this trip. She actually invited Willow to join us but their family has their own plans so she declined. Kaya here’s my mom sulking right now kasi hindi sumama ang ‘paborito n’yang anak’, sabi pa ng mga kaibigan ko. 

“She’s in Korea right now mom. ‘Wag mo nang kinukulit ‘yun. Nagui-guilty na ‘yun for rejecting you.” I answered. Mas lalo naman sumimangot ang mukha ng nanay ko kaya napatawa nalang ako. Napaka-childish talaga minsan.

Bigla naman akong napatingin sa phone ko nung tumunog ito, indicating that someone’s calling me. Napangiti naman ako at agad na sinagot ang tawag nang makita ko kung sino ito. It’s her, Willow. 

‘Kayce, hey! How’s your vacation so far?’ Willow enthusiastically greeted pagkasagot ko ng tawag n’ya. I just giggled at how unusually chirpy she is acting right now. Something good must’ve happened. 

‘It’s so fun!! Sayang, you were not able to join us. Mom’s ranting na naman kasi hindi ka sumama.’

‘Tell her I said hi!!’

“Mom, hi daw po sabi ni Willow!” Sigaw ko sa mommy ko na nasa restroom. Bigla naman itong lumabas, with her hands on her waist and her right eyebrow raised.

“Oh magh-hi siya diyan tapos hindi naman pupunta dito. Bahala s’ya.” Sagot naman ni mommy. Bumalik naman agad ito ng restroom to continue what she was doing. I heard Willow laughing on the other line kaya napatawa na din ako. 

‘Ang kulit talaga ni tita mommy. Sabihin mo miss ko na s’ya.’

‘What about me?’

‘Huh?’

‘Hindi mo ba ako miss?’

Bigla naman tumahimik sa kabilang line. Did I say something wrong? Babawiin ko na sana ang sinabi ko nang biglang tumunog ang notifications ko. Napatawa naman ako — at kinilig (ang pogi naman kasi, nakakainis!) — nung makita kong nagpost s’ya ng photo n’ya sa instagram na naka-tag ako, with a caption na ‘I miss you.’, at agad namang nag-comment ang mga epal naming friends. 

‘Willy naman! You really didn’t have to do that! OMG ka!’

‘*laughs* Let tita mommy see my photo para mas lalo n’ya akong ma-miss.’

Sakto naman na lumabas na si mommy sa CR kaya pinakita ko sa kanya ang photo. “Anong gagawin ko d’yan kung wala naman s’ya dito? ‘Di ko naman mahahalik-halikan pisngi n’yan.” Narinig ko naman na humagikhik si Willow. Tuwang-tuwa naman s’ya. Nakakainis. Umupo naman ulit ako sa sofa.

‘I do believe mom really thinks you’re her daughter. Napaka-kapal minsan ng pagmumukha, parang ikaw.’

‘I’ll be her daughter naman na din eventually when we get married.’

Muntik ko nang mabitawan ang phone ko nung marinig ko ang sinabi n’ya. Parang ewan naman ‘to. Pa-fall! I composed myself muna before sumagot, making sure that I’ll sound normal. 

‘See?! Manahimik ka nga! Jumowa ka na nga para hindi na ako ang pinagttripan mo!’ 

Narinig ko naman s’yang tumawa at hindi na sumagot pa. Pareho naman kaming natahimik for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. I suddenly realized na hindi n’ya pa pala ako binabati today, which is very unusual kasi every year, always s’yang nauunang bumati sa akin when the clock strikes twelve. Not today though. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. 

‘I really do miss you, Willow.’ 

Wala ulit akong narinig na sagot kaya nanahimik na lang ako. I was about to say goodbye kasi mukhang ready na si mommy to leave nang bigla s’yang magsalita ulit.

‘And I do miss you too, kaya babain mo na ako dito sa lobby ng hotel n’yo.’ 

What?! Bigla naman akong napatayo at napatakbo palabas ng hotel room nung marinig ko ang sinabi n’ya. I can hear my mom asking me where I was going pero ‘di ko na s’ya nasagot. 

Pagkalabas ko ng elevator, I saw her standing sa may lobby, looking dashing, as always. She immediately smiled at me when our eyes met. Napatakbo naman ako papunta sa kanya and immediately engulfed her in a tight hug na agad naman n’yang ginantihan. 

“Happiest Birthday, my Kayce.” she said while I’m wrapped tightly inside her warmth as if we haven’t seen each other for years (when it has only been days). Isiniksik ko naman ang mukha ko sa leeg n’ya, inhaling the scent that I’ve missed. Sobrang bango talaga, amoy baby (ko).

“Thank you, Willy. What are you doing here? Akala ko ba sa Korea kayo magbabakasyon?” I asked after we shared a hug in the middle of the hotel lobby. Willow just grinned at me, pulling me towards the elevator. Napasimangot naman ako nung hindi n’ya ako sinagot. 

“What floor?” Instead of answering her, I just pressed the button sa elevator. 

“You’re not gonna talk to me? Sige alis na–” 

“So bakit ka nga nandito?” I interrupted her bago pa n’ya matapos ang sasabihin. I heard her chuckle kaya mas lalo akong napasimangot. 

“Are you aware that you’re really cute when you’re annoyed?” she pinched my cheeks, making me more annoyed than I initially was. “It’s your birthday. I wanted to celebrate it with you.” she added. I was left dumbfounded, not expecting her answer. This woman!! 

“Buti pinayagan ka ng parents mo, especially that your dad is not really that fond of me.” Bigla namang napatawa si Willow sa narinig. As much as I don’t want to admit, her father really isn’t the biggest fan of mine. 

“Tumakas ako from dad. Mom knows though. She’s the one who booked the ticket for me. I’ll go back there naman agad tomorrow.” Binatukan ko naman s’ya. 

“You just gave him more reasons to not like me.” I pouted. Willow just ruffled my hair. “Don’t worry. Wala naman akong pake sa opinion n’ya about you.” She said, pinching my cheek afterwards. I just rolled my eyes at her. 

Pagkarating namin sa may pintuan ng hotel room, I immediately knocked. Nagpunta naman si Willow sa part kung saan hindi s’ya makikita ni mom pagsilip n’ya sa peephole or pagbukas n’ya ng pinto. Daming alam talaga. 

“Where did you go? Bigla ka na lang umalis nang walang paalam!” Bungad ni mom pagkabukas n’ya. Isasara na sana n’ya ang pinto pagkapasok ko ngunit biglang sumulpot si Willow sa harap niya. 

“Surprise, tita mommy!” Sigaw ni Willow. Natawa naman ako sa hitsura ng nanay ko. She really looked surprised to see her ‘favorite child’ sa harap n’ya. Nang maka-recover na s’ya ay saka n’ya hinila si Willow into a bone-crushing hug at pinugpog ang mukha nito ng halik. 

“Baby Willy ko! What a surprise! Hindi mo ba natiis si tita mommy kaya pumunta ka dito?” Pang-aasar ni mommy. Willow just chuckled in amusement. Talagang napaka-asumera ng nanay ko