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Description

Welcome to Tagimpan Review Services!

Are You wondering how your story is doing? Are You looking for feedback and critiques that will help you improve? Look no further! Tagimpan Review Services is now open to reviewing Your works. Your brain child will be accepted here, may they be written in English, Tagalog or Taglish, featuring any fandom, and under any themes/genres.

Feature Corner

This will be where high-scoring/personal favorite stories reviewed will be added so the shop can promote them.

Heart Of Space

「 Finding light to the empty and dark space 」
written by captaintycoon

MAMACITA: Secrets of San Mar Valley

「 Out in the Wild West, there is a small town called San Mar Valley. When a devious ex-criminal attempts one final heist, a domino effect of everyone's dark pasts come to light, are more entwined than they thought, and might just be the missing pieces they'll need to win and stop the biggest fugitive of the West for good. Welcome to San Mar Valley. 」
written by diamondELF193
Feature Awards: High Scorer & Reviewer Favorite
Feature Award: High Scorer

Foreword

About the Shop Services:

Tagimpan is a Tagalog word that means aspiration, dream, illusion. It derives from the root word: taginip, meaning dream or dreaming. It is also the name of the fanfic/AU writers community that Lakanamihan have founded on Twitter.

Tagimpan Review Services is a review shop that aims to help writers improve their works both on the technical as well as creative aspects. Our reviewers are here to give feedback and insights where authors overlook, both from writer and reader perspectives. We will make sure to provide the most useful, astute and appreciative pointers so authors will know what to improve and what to nurture with regards to their storytelling and fiction writing. The authors must have their own discernment about them whether or not to keep the advices given, because our reviews will not always be fun to hear. Keep in mind that we are here to review and give feedback, and not just read and react to your stories. All in all, we, as both writers and reviewers, strive to become better versions of ourselves, and through exposure to wider variety of workpieces, we reach out to many other possibilities and expand our understanding of every and any concept of stories out there. We hope to achieve this by elevating the level of appreciation of literary works and fanfiction on AFF, so that writers and readers alike can become better and unlock their true potential.

About the Reviewers:

Lakanamihan: You can call me Ame. I'm a self-taught writer and adventure/fantasy/noir genre-enjoyer. I am opening my doors of review services to help out those who are currently struggling with getting feedback for their stories. I mostly follow 3rd gen groups, namely SVT, EXO, RED VELVET, and recently also G-IDLE and ATEEZ. I'm not familiar with most 4th and 5th gen idols. I also follow P-Pop acts such as ALAMAT, BINI, G22, and sometimes SB19. I read anything as long as they are well-written and have interesting stories to tell.

officergatack: You can just call me Cap. I have been writing for a decade but just made a jumpstart in AFF a few months ago, since the idea of fanfiction is nice. I have a beta-reader experience and I'm willing to help anyone who struggle in writing. When it comes to groups I enjoy, I like 3rd gen groups, starting with GFriend, BTS and for the 4th gen, I am a Loona fan. I'm pretty much a multistan since the 2nd gen of KPOP. I am open to any kind of reading and have a keen eye in technicalities.

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Comments

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kimkimsara #1
Okie I am going to take the last slot for me! LOL

Author: kimkimsara
Story title: #NOWPLAYING (short story collection)
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1202744/nowplaying-short-story-collection
Reviewer: Lakanamihan
Type of service: non-scored review
Word count: 47,318

Hopefully there will be second batch after this >.<
diamondELF193 #2
Chapter 4: Howdy~ Thank you so much for all your comments! There are many things I agree with or kind of expected to be acknowledged. To answer your question about MinJi, yes is was pretty intentional, she's not the MC. It's an ensemble cast, so everyone gets a moment, but at the series' core, I would say Kyu is overall the MC since the 2 sequels (especially 3rd more than the 2nd) plots will be bringing his story to the forefront and his backstory is the foundation for building upon future plot points (Donghae more for the 2nd one, so it's like Kyu and Ryeowook for the 1st, Donghae for the 2nd, and Kyu & MinJi and Sungmin for the 3rd). So yeah, if I had to define MinJi as anything, I would say she is a lead but she is more so the "glue" that brings and holds the group together and helps drive certain plots forward and becomes a moral compass of sorts, especially in the future. The sequel is most definitely going to bring the remaining characters more to the forefront and everyone will get their own special role, especially MinJi. The thing with the prologue is that I've changed what the prologue was several times, like several. I could never figure out what to put there. In the 1st edition-my god-MinJi's backstory was thrown in at the beginning of chpt 16...Yeah...I hated it being there and figured it worked better as the prologue to help set the tone and theme, but not to intend on establishing her as the core focus protagonist, if that makes sense. I tried to give her more of a payoff at the end since her scene with Heechul at the end wasn't in the 1st edition either, god help me. I think I've done more right by her in Prince's Maiden (other kyuji fic/vampire/horror themed) since she's the actual MC there and there's a smaller cast. And yeah, I'm glad the Sungmin payoff worked out because I feel like I didn't do that justice the first time I wrote it. It was at first too obvious (yet some still didn't catch it idk how xd), we didn't see enough of him or his friendship with Kyu, so I felt like it had no payoff at first, so I did my best to try and fix it.
Yeah, the setting was very much "a set" on purpose xD This was an adaption of a mv after all, paying homage to old spaghetti westerns/western films, so that old-fashioned hollywood/campy feel was how it was meant to be since it's taken directly from what the set of the mv looked like. The sequel will be 90% away from this set in a bunch of other towns to expand the world and make a more "authentic" space, which I hope can be seen as an improvement of sorts.

My only question would be for clarification on what you mean by "narration lacked immersion". May I ask where I lost you in terms of immersion in the narration, was it only the pacing? (btw the sequel will have a very different structure since there won't be backstory breaks), if so or if not, is there a way to fix that without rearranging the chapters completely? I don't think there's really anything else I can do about the pacing otherwise.

Thank you again, I will by trying to apply these critiques to future works, especially the 2 sequels, because I want the series to be my magnum opus of sorts xD which I think the 2nd one may or may not be depending on your perspective xD
diamondELF193 #3
hello there, it's time 😈

Nah, but in all seriousness, this is the one I'm most excited for right now and it's finally completed. The only things I would keep in mind while reading this is that this is **technically** a newer edition, meaning the original came out in like early 2015, so I already made a lot of revisions and edits, so I was curious to know how it came out from an outside perspective. And the only other thing is that there is a sequel in the works for this year, so if there's anything not dived into that much or left unanswered, just to keep that in mind that it's for a reason lol

My only dilemma is that I'm not sure who to choose as the reviewer. I like what both of you have to offer, so whoever is able to go into most depth would be good, or whoever is more intrigued I guess. It's 2nd gen technically, so I'm not sure who would be more willing to take it on (though you don't have to be familiar with them to immerse in the story :D) I feel like either of you could accept it, but idk, whoever feels like reading a western xD

Ensemble Cast w/ Super Junior (including OCs)////Western/Wild West AU/Mafia/Drama/Action/Romance

Author: diamondELF193
Story title: MAMACITA: Secrets of San Mar Valley
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/904860/mamacita-secrets-of-san-mar-valley
Reviewer: uhhhh TBA xD whoever wants it lol should we flip a coin?
Type of service: scored review
Word count: 98, 201 words
kimkimsara #4
Chapter 3: Hi!
I'm picking up my request! Thanks for reviewing my story even though it's not your cup of tea :)
Really appreciated the feedback you give in the review. I am glad that I can get feedback on how my writing is, especially since now not many reviewers linger in AFF.
kimkimsara #5
Finally a service I really need! I hope my request is going to be accepted :D

Author: kimkimsara
Story title: Catch Me When I Fall
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1052880/catch-me-when-i-fall
Reviewer: captaintycoon
Type of service: (eg, scored review / non-scored review): scored review
Word count: 192,555

I actually want to place multiple requests. But I understand that you only open 5 slots, so I need to prioritize this one :D
Thanks so much for opening this service <3
diamondELF193 #6
Chapter 1: Hi there! I regret not mentioning this when I requested I feel like some context is needed for why this story was written the way it was. First and foremost, before this story, I was consumed with writing a bigger project that was more deep/meaningful and had almost every mature/messed up theme in the book. For about half a year, I dedicated most of my time to that project and came out of it very depressed due to the themes I was dealing with (and very complex characters). Why is this important? It is because I decided that to boost my mood kinda, I needed a feel-good refresher, so I wrote this with the idea that it was meant to be something kinda silly/brain-rot/light-hearted, not to be thought of too deeply/taken too seriously. I know this isn't my best work for many reasons, many of you've listed xD This isn't my usual genre/theme or writing style, but most of it was on purpose for the sole purpose of being experimental (I don't stick to one genre/theme, I try to do something different for each story). Obviously, it either works in my favor or it doesn't haha xD The chapter transitions with the same narration or line has only been done for this specific story to give it a "k-drama episode transition" style. I've also never written something this short before, so yeah, pacing and characterization could be a little too fast-paced. However, the antagonist especially, was purposely done to be 2-dimensional. After writing several multi-dimensional antagonists, some more sympathetic or villainy than others, I NEEDED to have fun experimenting with writing a "bad guy does bad guy things because he's bad guy" and not having too much thought to be put into it past that xD Also, I was wondering if you would call me out on this and you did and you're right. This reads as two separate stories because...It was :D These were originally two separate ideas/stories. One was the exo wolf au with Minseok as the original lead, then what we got with Chanyeol here. I don't remember why I decided this, but I decided to combine the two I guess because of similar theme? Whether or not that was the best decision is beyond my comphrension, but I did it and decided Luhan fit the wolf lead better than Minseok and this is what we ended up getting xD In the end, this is just a plethora of weird experimentation on my part where some things worked and where some things didn't, all for the sole purpose of trying things I've never tried before and for more than anything else --> Happy brain rot xD

With all that out of the way, thank you for giving your perspective, I do agree with most of it, my advice would just be to not think too much about certain things because this, unlike other things I've written, was not meant to be looked into too deeply or else you end up hurting yourself lol

And with all THAT said, I will be coming to you soon for another story, one obviously more serious and deep compared to this one. I'm not finished with it yet (it's done but being reuploaded with revisions). When would be a good time to request it? Should I wait for it to be completed? (because I feel like a full review is only worth it if you can see it from beginning to end to form an overall opinion)
diamondELF193 #7
Hi there! If you're still accepting requests I will submit one!
exo; chanyeol x oc, luhan x oc, fluff/romance/comedy/action/wolf-hybrid au/dog-hybrid au

Author: diamondELF193
Story title: Puppy Love
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1222807/puppy-love
Type of service: scored review
Word count: 36, 381
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