2nd Year

“Stop looking around so much, you’re making me dizzy.” Mom scolded. Her arm clung tighter on mine and pulled me downwards to stop me, “Besides, Wheein’s mom told me yesterday that she’ll be coming from work so she might be late.”

I smiled sheepishly at her, caught in the act of looking for Whee among the churchgoers. Mom told me how, before Whee got an offer for another job out of this province, she spent a lot of time accompanying her to the market or helping around the house.

Which I’m very thankful for. I know she did it all just because she wanted to but I wanted to thank her personally for keeping mom company at the times that I couldn’t. This is why Whee keeps teasing me that she’s mom’s favorite. I believe her, it’s not hard to love Whee. 

It’s the first night of Simbang Gabi and I specifically worked everything out so I could go with mom until Christmas. I haven’t been going home as much and when I saw her, I could clearly see how her age affected her already. I try not to think too much about it, even at times, her voice wavers and when I can’t go home during important times. I promised myself that I’ll try to go home more often. 

“Yongsun!” 

I immediately turned towards the voice like last time, “Ma! I missed you!”

She greeted mom and then hugged me tightly, “How’s my favorite daughter?” 

Right away I heard an indignant huff and when I opened my eyes Whee was already pouting adorably. I guess Ma said that loudly on purpose.

“Hey! I thought I was your favorite daughter!”

Ma pulled away and I’m already trying not to laugh hard when I saw her playfully roll her eyes.

“I don’t have a choice, do I? You’re my only daughter anyway.” Ma said laughing.

Whee glanced at me for a second then moved towards mom, hugging her sideways, “At least I’m mom’s favorite still.” 

Mom couldn’t resist her pleading eyes and agreed wholeheartedly.

You’re my favorite too, Whee…

As if Ma could read my thoughts, she suddenly teased me, “How about you Yong? Is Whee your favorite also?” 

Both Whee and I were blushing now. Unlike her, I’m not hiding my face at someone’s shoulder.

“I-I…She—“

“Wheein, you left your purse in the car…” A woman ran over, her words dying when she saw everyone’s curious gaze on her. She quickly greeted us to show respect to mom and ma then awkwardly handed Wheein’s purse.

If Wheein’s eyes were on me I wouldn’t have noticed with how hard I must have been staring at her purse. Like it would give me a clue about who this person is.

I heard Whee clear and gesture to her friend who had her hand on her shoulder comfortably. 

“Mom, Ma, Yong, this is Jiho. She’s a friend from work. She offered to give me a ride.” 

The way she looked at me when she cleared up that she was her friend didn’t do anything to ease the wary feeling that I had. It did help that Whee didn’t seem to want to go closer to Jiho and would rather hug mom. 

“It’s nice to meet you all. Miss Jung, Wheein has told me so many good things about you that I just had to meet you! I wanted to meet the person that raised this beautiful woman.” Jiho gushed and at the corner of my eye, I saw Wheein cringe and bury her head in mom’s shoulder. She doesn’t like things like this.

Ma chuckled awkwardly at the compliment but smiled at Jiho anyway, “Well that’s good to hear that my daughter thinks so highly of me” she answered, brushing it off with a joke.

The church bells rang and people started looking for a suitable place to sit through the mass. Although I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to hug Whee hello, I offered my arm to mom so we could follow other churchgoers. 

“Auntie, would it be okay if I accompany you and Yong can go with Whee? They might want to catch up.” Here they go again with catching up. Secretly I hope mom says yes but with Jiho here, I’m not too sure if I want to be third wheeling. 

“No problem, I don’t want to sit next to someone who’ll keep looking around trying to look for your daughter.”

“Mom!” 

I can’t believe she said that. In front of Jiho who obviously likes Whee no less. What are they playing here? 

Wheein held out her hand and I took it, feeling like my stomach was suddenly a butterfly sanctuary. When Jiho made a move to follow us, Whee stopped in her tracks, turned to her, and whispered something.

They looked like they were really close, Jiho’s hand still on her shoulder. The butterfly sanctuary would’ve turned into something on fire if not for the short squeeze on my hand.

Jiho’s face suddenly turned sullen and the smile after looked too forced. I heard an ‘of course’ before she turned to mom and ma.

“Ma, Jiho’s going to sit through the mass with you before she goes home, okay?” Whee said, not really leaving space for disagreement. All the while Jiho was glancing between me and our joined hands. 

When everything was settled, Whee led us to where we sat the year before. We watched as the priest walked towards the altar and at the same time, Jiho looked back at us from where she was sitting next to Ma. 

Wheein didn’t seem to mind as much that her company is sulking because of the sudden change of plans that she must have had. Instead, she faced me and started scanning my face. 

I let her. I always let her if it means her attention is on me. 

“You look tired.” 

“I am tired. I’m still jet-lagged from my flight this morning.” I explained, sighing as she brushed my hair away from my face.

It feels different than last year when we were both tiptoeing around each other, hoping neither of us burst into tears. This time things feel civil but the longing never changes. 

She nodded, obviously thinking about what she would say next, “You know what you also look like?”

I narrowed my eyes at her smirk, “What?” 

“Jealous.”

I slapped her playfully when she laughed too loud because of my silence. This made a few churchgoers turn and glare at us. She suggested that we head out and walk toward the angel statue so we could talk more. 

I saw her flinch at how cold the bench is, making me chuckle at her soldiering through. 

“You want my hoodie?” I wasn’t wearing anything but a tank top underneath but I wouldn’t be able to stand her shivering as well. She gave me an assessing stare, “You mean my hoodie?”

I shrug, “I found it stuck in one of the boxes when I moved last year. It’s mine now.”

She smiled and shook her head at my reasoning, “I..um..I actually put it there when I went to pick up my things because you always said it was your favorite. I wouldn’t be able to wear it anyway without remembering you amongst the other things I have.”

“Whee…” e