Alex closed the lid of her laptop and pinched the bridge of her nose before slamming her head down on her desk. She swore, if she had to leave one more comment on her students’ papers about following the rubric, she would seriously debate walking into traffic. As much as she loved her job, the emotional labor of essentially raising young seedlings to be decent humans with at least one brain cell was beyond draining. She lolled her head to side and stared longingly at her bed, more than glad she at least had the option to continue working from home albeit past her contract hours. She wondered what it was like on the other side of the world, how the other half lived in and with their contracts. She knew she had no right to complain when she had easy access to her bed after a day at work and at least had the free time to practice self-care, exercise, cook, and partake in her hobbies at decent hours of the day. She admired and wondered in awe at how Seungmin, Sungyoon, and the others were able to squeeze their lives into their work and not the other way around. Considering how Seungmin had called Talia, she wondered if it was easy for them to juggle or if such had been by the chance of a slower than usual schedule. She sighed in relief at the monotony of her own life, how easy her schedule was to follow and counted her blessings, including the one that would not leave her mind.
 

            She eyed her phone, watching as some notifications trickled in, but none of them from whom she wanted. She saw a few from the group chat, something about Jangjun shamelessly promoting his appearance on someone’s radio show and the other members less than shamelessly taunting him about it. She didn’t see Y’s name flash across the screen and wondered what he was up to as the day was just beginning for them on the other side of the world. Surely, Y had his own schedule to follow, but maybe, he could pencil in a short chat. After all, it was her turn to update that she was still wearing his necklace, she rationalized as her fingers slowly twiddled with it ever so gingerly. She took a deep breath and decided to Kakao FaceTalk him.

            It’s fine if he doesn’t pick up. He’s likely already busy; it’s almost noon over there and not everyone gets to start the day as late as you do. She tried to convince herself as the chime of the Kakao continued top drone on.

            “Hey, love, sorry about that! I thought I was going to miss you,” Y greeted, breath slightly ragged as he fumbled with his phone and Alex got a view of the lovely white ceiling and the slight pile of clothes in the corner before the phone settled on his stunning features. Thoroughly despising cameras as she did, she reluctantly the camera if only to show him his necklace before propping it on her desk next to the bane of her existence, her laptop. Also not one for eye contact, she took out her journal for reflection now that she was done with the day’s prep work for tomorrow and grading.

            “Whatcha doing?” he asked, his voice almost too smooth, too pure for his own good—and her mental sanity. He had calmed his breathing and now his voice was luring her away from her own thoughts and only to him.

            “I’m just taking it easy now that I’m done grading for the night. I wanted to show you your necklace like I promised,” she responded, fluttering her fingers at the sparkling treasure on her chest. “I’m keeping it safe for you like I said. I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it lately at work,” she added, nonchalantly twirling it.

            “At school, right? You’re a teacher?” he inferred.

            “My colleagues say it suits me and the kids love it. They ask me who gave it to me since I didn’t have it last semester,” she nodded with a bright beam, still mindlessly playing with it, too much to notice how his eyes slightly followed her fingers as she did.

            “And what do you tell them?” he probed, leaning ever so slightly into the camera as he placed his head in his palm. She glanced at his soft expression and a slight shudder ran down her back only to be replaced with the same warmth he had given her the day he had given you the necklace.

            “I tell them it’s from someone very special to me. I teach 8th graders. You know kids this age. You have to find a way to lie without lying or they might take it to places that I don’t have an answer for. The number of times a child has asked me if I was married is absurd,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “At least they don’t do it in the middle of lessons anymore.”

            “You’re not lying that I’m very special to you right?” he teased, though there was a hint of knowing sadness intertwined with his words.

            “Of course not, you are special to me, but I can’t say much more than that. Their imagination is beyond me and I work with words for a living.”

            “You can’t blame them for trying, right…” he shrugged, averting his gaze briefly before returning with a light smile. “We all need a little imagination to get by.”

            “Of course, I love my kids. They say some wild things from time to time, but they keep me young, keep me happy. I really like my job, though it’s not nearly as glamorous as yours,” she confessed wholeheartedly.

            “What the job lacks in glamour, it certainly makes up in prestige,” he countered. She smirked and shook your head, much to his surprise.

            “I’m not sure how teachers are treated in Korea, but here, it’s neither glamorous or prestigious. Some people think we’re just glorified babysitters. As much as I enjoy it, it’s kind of like cooking for thirty kids at a time and they don’t want to eat, but they have to eat and some of them have allergies, some of them are just picky and your boss tells you you have an hour. If you go past that hour researching or perfecting your recipe, it doesn’t matter because you don’t get paid for it. It can be a lot, but the best I can do is the best I can do,” she huffed, realizing she was close to rambling and, more importantly, did not want to seem ungrateful for the job that allowed her the time and money to see whom she was speaking to now. “I know Talia wouldn’t touch this job with a ten foot pole, but to be honest, I wouldn’t touch her field either.”

            “And what does she do?” he asked, his interest never dropping. Her heart warmed at the thought of how invested in her life she was, willing to listen to her ramblings and interested in the people dearest to her.

            “She’s studying to be a lawyer. Now, that is admirable and prestigious,” she pointed out proudly. “All of that, but not my cup of tea. It takes a special, steel-hearted but kind person to do that and I just don’t think I have the emotional, capacity to do so. Kudos to her. She’ll do so well in law school. I’m already so proud of her,” she continued to gush. “Ah, by the way, I heard that she and Seungmin talked last night. How did it go~” she chimed, her eyes beginning to twinkle with a sparkle that he wished she had reserved for him. “Or, am I overstepping?” she inferred, noting how he slightly shifted and how his lip twitched as he mulled over—rehearsed—what to say before doing so. “If I’m not supposed to know, it’s ok. I feel like I shouldn’t even really be talking to you this much, to be honest. I might be taking your time or breaking some kind of rule?” she suggested, heart breaking at the thought of having to end the call for being too curious, for being too friendly, too mesmerized by his calm aura to stop herself and acknowledge boundaries. He likely had a packed schedule and here she was, monopolizing his time and unknowingly, his heart.

            “It’s not that. They did chat last night, but I think it went as well as it could have. He didn’t tell me much, not that I would intrude and ask. I do respect their privacy,” he stated simply, not sleek enough to deliver anything more than a leader’s answer, although Alex did not have the heart to inquire again, what he really meant, what he really felt about it. Handling eight other member meant more than being aware of their schedules, their images, their duties about the dorm. Like teaching, it also meant reading and handling their emotions, respecting—to an extent—their decisions and independence and only wanting the best for them regardless of how it forced the other to pivot. Y was likely doing the same. For how easy the relationship between Fay and Joochan was, it must have been equally difficult for the relationship between Seungmin and Talia. One was an idol who couldn’t be vulnerable and the other was a girl who didn’t want to be vulnerable, a girl with a big heart that was afraid of hurting it—or worse yet, having it be a burden. Y had to respect such boundaries if Seungmin chose not to divulge too much information and Alex would respect that. Besides, both Seungmin and Y knew the idol life. You couldn’t be sad, you couldn’t be vulnerable, you couldn’t tell too much. While Alex understood the burden of never being sad as fans were like her children, observant and impressionable, she could not bear to imagine how it must feel to navigate such a complex field as the heart on your own, even going so far as to hide it from those dear to you.

            “Well, she seemed to be happy about it. She talked to me about it today. I think it’s going really well. I know you can’t say, but it would be nice if they got together. I think they’d make a really cute couple,” you pitched. “I’m glad that Seungmin made a move. Seems like his heart is in the right place.” Y sighed briefly for he knew, though not completely, where Seungmin’s heart lay and although he could not say, it broke his own in a twisted way. “But, how a