“So, care to tell us what that’s about, hyung?” Jangjun asked, his voice light though he was beyond baffled at the sight.

            “I didn’t think you would be the type to be so bold,” Tag muttered, though he debated the rationale behind it, the potential consequences, the potential benefits for his best friend. While he understood Seungmin’s true feelings—as they were—he could not be so certain that they would remain so.

            “It’s not that serious. I just gave her my necklace, as a keepsake of sorts for showing us such hospitality and love while we were here. I didn’t have much else to give. It’s only the polite thing to do,” Y shrugged as he continued to pack his belongings, glancing down at his watch to see the seconds tick by agonizingly slow under the immense pressure of Seungmin’s scrutinizing eyes. “Besides, I can just ask for it back when we come back. Next time, we should all bring them something to remember us by,” he suggested, though he wondered if this idea was any better. He knew that Seungmin had left nothing for her in his wake besides more confusion, more turmoil yet, asking him to bring a keepsake for her was a big ask that he knew the latter would not be able to fulfill. He pinched the bridge of his nose, as disappointed in Seungmin as he was himself. Y had not regretted giving Alex the necklace, but he undoubtedly regretted the hurt that he had inevitably brought upon the shier member, the unavoidable conversation and dark cloud that would settle over the two of them when the younger finally mustered the courage—and his thoughts—to initiate a conversation, searching for clarity, justification, rationale, anything to help him feel better in facing his own emotions.

            “I could always give them signed pictures of me! I think they would like that” Jangjun concurred, nodding his head proudly as he imagined their faces when they would unwrap a glassy poster-sized picture of him sporting his signature—all too cheesy—smolder.

            “They would just use that as a ramen coaster,” Joochan scoffed playfully, sticking his tongue out nonchalantly at the older member who was now pouting more than the youngest ever did.

            “What’s done is done, I suppose,” Tag began, toying with his words internally as he straddled the balance between offending their leader and crushing his best friend. “I’m sure they will be responsible with it. It’s not like they would do anything to hurt us like posting it elsewhere,” he added, all the while studying his best friend for any sign of engagement, any sign of life as he continued to follow his thousand-yard stare to nowhere. He had meant to emphasize “they” so as to draw attention away from Alex alone,  to highlight that the girls worked as a group and were trustworthy enough  to hold each other accountable. Unfortunately, while this was undoubtedly true, he knew it was far too much pressure and too much to ask for Alex—or any or all of them—to be held accountable for the heart Seungmin didn’t know what to do with. The girls were as much players in these scenes as much as they were and they were simply following the prompts laid out before them. As much as he wanted to coddle his friend, Tag knew that Seungmin’s inaction was the prime stimulus for this situation, though it could be the catalyst for a captivating relationship with Talia as well. Tag didn’t know if he should thank, criticize, or merely question the eldest member for sending Seungmin the signal he dreaded, but drastically needed. He only hoped that the latter would be smart enough to receive it.

            Sensing the tension in the air and wanting to remove Seungmin from the situation, Tag sprung to his feet, nearly knocking into the floor lamp in doing so, to Jangjun’s not-so-silent amusement. “We should get going. I don’t want to have to pack up when we get back from dinner,” he mentioned, reaching for Seungmin’s hand as he continued to stare straight ahead into the void that he wished would consume him. Just as he had not had the energy to make a move on either Alex or Talia, he had not the energy to swat his friend away. Instead, he was reluctantly dragged to his feet and almost out the door by the surprisingly strong, yet gangly, friend.

            “What are you talking about?” Y asked, his voice almost surprisingly light despite the dense tension suffocating the room. “We’ll have plenty of time to pack when we get back. We won’t be out too long, anyway. It’s just dinner. We should sit and talk,” he suggested, trying to convince himself this was the right move to make as well as send a signal to Joochan and Jangjun, the former still preoccupied with what gift to return with next time they visited. Fortunately, Joochan had found his brain cell and could read the slightly pleading look in Y’s eyes.

            “I’m kinda craving a coffee from downstairs. Jangjun, Tag, let’s take a break,” Joochan offered, wiping his brow after struggling to close his suitcase, which was packed to the brim with what he had brought with him as well as mounds of fan letters from the night. He refused to send them in the package to be sent back to the company along with the others since he would then transfer some of them to his backpack carry-on to read more on the plane. Against Tag’s best judgment, he took the hint and accompanied the other two downstairs, hoping that a dose of caffeine would at least triumph over the adrenaline and anxiety of the conversation between Y and Seungmin that would follow. After the other three had departed, Seungmin trudged back to the edge of the bed and continued to stare at the window in front of him, overlooking the rather dull Los Angeles skyline. It was not the sparkling lights or towering company buildings he was used to, but the bland canvas provided a form of welcome escape from his own mind, the insecurity that he was used to, the inaction he was used to that led him to be here with a person he couldn’t tell whether to call friend or foe.

            Friend spoke first.

            “I know what you’re thinking, and this is why I wanted to talk to you first before the emotions get the best of you,” Y sighed, joining Seungmin on the bed though he was sure to keep his distance by sitting on the opposite side of the bed, facing the door. Unlike for Seungmin, there was no escape. Alex’s words about responsibility and doing what had to be done to survive, to keep the peace, rang through his mind on repeat as he rehearsed any potential responses and his answers to them. “It’s just a friendship necklace,” he stated, immediately running through the reactions in his mind. How would Seungmin react? How would he react if someone, his friend, his brother, had told him this exact line? “She said Fay had found it at the house and she wanted to return it to me, but I didn’t feel that was necessary. I could just go get another one, but I know to her, it would mean a lot. We’re one in the same person, so it’s like it never really left,” he explained, not waiting for Seungmin to unleash the fury that was bubbling inside of him. Y wanted to at least be heard before he was burned for his sins. He wanted to justify before being crucified, though he was well aware that he partially deserved it for being so clandestine in his execution.

            “Tell me what it really is, what it really means, hyung, I’m begging you.” Seugmin’s voice as unwavering, authoritative despite the desperation inherent in the last few words. He trusted Y with his entire being, having endured the hardships and enjoyed the treasures of stardom with him, not as a coworker or colleague, not as a friend, but as a brother. He could withstand being upset with himself, but he didn’t want to be upset with his brother, someone he knew meant and could almost do no harm. He could bear not believing in himself, but he could not bear not believing in someone who had never steered him wrong before, but  the way Y dodged the crucial points in the explanation he wanted to give, the way Y would not—could not—face him, the way Y secretly selected his words as if he were compiling a script was becoming too much to bear. Usually, Y was so open, so straightforward in his wants and intentions, but now, with his back to Seungmin, he was impossible to read, the only hints found in his uncharacteristically bland voice and the shadow in which he hid, the shadow that still consumed the tiny giant across from him. ‘

            “It’s that, a friendship necklace,” he repeated affirmatively, though by now, he knew that Seungmin knew as well as he did that there was more to this story, more to the scene that he kept replaying in his mind for comfort as well as a reminder of what needed to be done. Seungmin spoke not a word, waiting for the other member to correct himself, to come to terms with his own terms. “I just wanted to give her something to remember me by. Sure, she has pictures of us all from the show, but I wanted to give her something personal because I feel like we got along, on a personal level,” he admitted, though his answer was still vexingly vague for Seungmin as the latter dissected each word and added a meaning that either he or Y didn’t want to be real.

            “But why her? Why not Fay? You went to Universal with her as well and she  was the one to find it,” Seungmin pointed out, though he knew the answer already. Fay was a darling girl, but she was also Joochan’s. Friendship necklace or not, it would be foolish for Y to give such a thing to her, in fear of hurting Joochan’s heart, though it seemed he had no issue hurting his. “How did she take it?” he sighed after moments of silence. Y knew not to answer his previous questions, taking full advantage of the time to sort his own answers, his own feelings out, waiting for the next response.

            “She was reluctant at first, unsure, but when I put it on her, I think she got the idea.”

            “And what idea is that?” Seungmin muttered, thousands of ideas buzzing angrily in his own mind. His ideas of her, Talia, Y, himself were all rapidly changing, building, disintegrating, mixing, and disappearing as he tried to make sense of the situation, tried to parse out the truth in Y’s words as well as what truths he wanted to adhere to.

            “That I really appreciate her and her comfort. That I like her,” he confessed, a weight immediately lifting from his tightened chest. For the first time in the entire conversation—since Seungmin walked in the room initially at Jangjun’s scream—he let out a sigh, a simple breath of relief. “But not ever as much as you could and do,” he quickly added, too absorbed with alleviation to think about how his initial statement would be misconstrued by the other.

            “So, you like her, too then?” Seungmin asked sheepishly, almost defeated, knowing that, between the two of them, Y was more suited to be her type. He was tall, friendly, outgoing, charismatic, everything that he imagined her to like, everything that he wanted to be. Besides the tall part, he was all of the above, but his difficulty in expressing it and himself was his obstacle, an obstacle that Y had obviously cleared with an ease Seungmin could only dream of.

            “Yes,” he replied. “But not in the way that you think, at least not that much, not at this moment,” he added sincerely. “I like all of them, I do. They made parts of this tour, especially last night, nights to remember long after we’re done being Golden Child. This is indisputable, for all of us,” he started, knowing full well that Seungmin would agree. When they had followed them through a leg of the tour, their appearances dominated much of the members’ conversations. Initially, it was about how dedicated they were to the tour and how