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HEECHUL'S POV

I went to the park and having a walk. 

“Awww.” A voice suddenly echoed as i turned around and saw a girl who was sitting into the ground.

It looks like she stumbled while walking. Of course i can't ignore her, so i approached her and bent down.

“Do you need my help?” I softly asked. The girl blinked her eyes a few times before nodding her head at me.

I extended my hand to help her and she gladly accepted it.

“Where are you going? Also, why are you alone?” I asked again and found a vacant seat. I led her there and sat down beside her.

She seemed so distant and obviously nervous. She couldn't even look me at my eyes and trying her best to avoid me.

“I bet your parents taught you not to talk to strangers. Which is good and understandable but i just want you to know that I am not a bad person. My name is Heechul.” 

She looked up at me, i was being observed by a little girl who I've just met today.

“It's okay if you don't want to answer me.” I said and smiled at her.

I leaned my back and looked around at the park. There was a lot of children and also pets. They were running, laughing and playing. I envy them a lot. 

I've never experienced this kind of childhood. When I was a kid, I was always at home and never went out. My mother was too strict and the way she treated me was also suffocating.

My parents got divorced when I was only 6 years old. I used to live at my mother's side and my father only supported me with his money.

When i became a teenager, that's where I felt my freedom. I left my mother's house because she became abusive and I couldn't take it anymore.

I've never experienced love from my parents or even from my friends before.

Not until I met Donghae, Kyuhyun, Ryewook, Siwon, Yesung and Eunhyuk. When I've met them, I felt the true meaning of love.

I even met Shindong and Jungsoo where I also felt that I was loved, especially Jungsoo.

Jungsoo made me feel the love I've been waiting for. He treated me right and he truly loved me. 

But I became too comfortable and abused his feelings. When he finally confessed, that's when I started abusing his feelings for me—I took advantage of him.

I used to think that when someone loves you so much, he won't leave you no matter what happens. 

I didn't even bother myself to greet him on our anniversaries not even on his birthday.

I've spent a lot of time with my other friends than Jungsoo.

I know what I did to him was horrible and such a lame excuse to invalidate his feelings.

I'm the worst person and I won't deny that.

When Jungsoo reached his limits, he confronted me and broke up with me.

That was the time when I realized how much I loved him—when he left me, half of me died and i didn't even know where to start.

Yesung, Siwon and Donghae never left me out when everyone hated me, these 3 person were on my side and helped me a lot.

Yesung often visit me and Siwon would take me on a few dates—well, at first i thought he was just fooling around but he was serious about me. He liked me a lot and very fond of me but sadly, i can't return his love or do the same way; that time i was still stuck with Jungsoo and patiently waiting for him.

And lastly, Donghae. That guy was always by my side and saw me miserable. He stayed at my place for a while and he saw me crying, begging for Jungsoo's forgiveness when the older one suddenly disappeared and Donghae saw me at my lowest point in my life.

I'm really thankful for them, for not giving up on me and helping me to stand up again in my own.

“Why are you crying?” someone suddenly said causing me to flinch and look at her.

The girl was looking at me and her eyes were already teary. 

“Are you hurt? Please don't cry...” She began to say and her voice was trembling as well as her hand.

I cupped her cheeks and smiled at her, she looked scared and at the same time, hurt.

“I was just reminiscing the past. I got emotional remembering what happened to me before. Please don't cry.” I said, calming her down and wiping off her tears.

When she finally calmed down, she held my hand then started to play with my fingers. 

“I'm Ellie. I often see my mom crying in her room alone. She's hurting and suffering on her own. My dad cheated on my mom and obviously they got divorced. My mom loves him so much but she has no choice but to let him go.” Ellie suddenly opened up to me and never looked me into my eyes, Ellie kept her head down.

I remained silent and didn't interrupt her. 

“I asked my mom 'If you really loved him, why did you let him go?' She looked at me and answered 'Because i wasn't the one he truly loved. If your father loves me, he wouldn't cheat on me. Ellie, i love your father and I'm still