Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

 

“How was your Thanksgiving?” Minah said, smiling down at Yunho.

 

Smiling up at her from his position on the couch, he said, “It was good.”

 

His Thanksgiving had been wonderful. He had gotten up very early to help his grandparents prepare for the dinner. Some of his grandparents' friends, some farm help, and his dad came over.

 

It was his first Thanksgiving spent with so many people and not just his mother and a few dishes. Even when she had a boyfriend, he would never join them for Thanksgiving dinner. It had always just been the two of them.

 

Yunho ended up being pleased with the fact that his father had decided to join them for dinner. He had thought he would have driven out to spend the day with his own family, his parents and siblings. Yunho was also glad he wasn’t being pressured to meet his paternal side of the family.

 

He would. One day. Just not now.

 

“What about you two?” 

 

“It was okay. But I should have just gone over to your house.” She winked after saying, and took a sip from her mug.

 

“What are you two talking about?” Jaejoong asked, walking in the spacious game room.

 

“Yesterday,” Minah said.

 

“What about it?” He placed the bowl of chips and popcorn on the low coffee table.

 

Yunho reached for a handful of chips. “Dinner was delicious.”

 

“Any leftovers?” Minah asked, her eyes twinkling.

 

Jaejoong frowned at her, midway down.

 

She shrugged and flashed him her perfect row of pearly whites.

 

“Why?” Jaejoong asked his sister, picking up the game control.

 

She shrugged. “Just like you don’t want to tell me why you got into a fight with your friend, I do not have to tell you why I want leftovers.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Please leave us alone.”

 

Laughing, she straightened her lithe figure and said, “I do have to get ready to head out, but before I go,” she paused, focusing on Yunho with a little smile on her face, she asked, “Do you want to help us set up for Christmas?”

 

“When?”

 

“Tonight.”

 

He looked at Jaejoong who simply shrugged, going back to focusing on the game.

 

He gave her a toothy smile. “Yeah, that would be fine.”

 

“Great!” she said cheerfully, doing a little pumping motion with her hands. “I have a few more friends coming over. It’ll be fun.”

 

Jaejoong said under his breath, “Spiked eggnog.”

 

The older girl laughed and rolled her large, pretty brown eyes. She had the same exact eyes as Jaejoong, lashes and all. With a smug smile, she warned, “I better not see you with a glass, mister underage.” Laughing, she said, “I better go. Bye.”

 

“Bye, Minah.” Yunho waved with his free hand.

 

She wiggled her fingers at him and walked out.

 

“She’s great.”

 

Jaejoong rolled his eyes and gave Yunho a piercing look. But he didn’t elaborate.

 

“Okay then. So, how was your Thanksgiving yesterday?”

 

“We went out to a nice fancy restaurant in Greendale. Food was okay.” He shrugged.

 

“We still have food left,” Yunho offered helpfully.

 

Jaejoong shrugged again, face impassive. “They were there, so that counts for something.”

 

They were his parents.

 

“Yeah. My dad was, umm, over for dinner, too.”

 

Jaejoong’s whole expression changed. Smiling at Yunho, he said, “Really! How was that?” His eyes were kind.

 

He his bottom lip and then rubbed both together and lifted his shoulders up and down, buying time. 

 

“It was okay. Yeah. It was really good.”

 

“That’s good. Right?” 

 

“Yeah. Of course.” 

 

Jaejoong knew that he and his father had been getting closer. 

 

Yunho knew it was obvious that things had gotten better between them because he could hear it in his tone when he talked about his father and also in his body language.

 

When Yunho said nothing more, they played for a few minutes in silence.

 

Though they’ve been hanging out more lately, they’ve been getting more comfortable in just being together and not talking.

 

“Yeah. I don’t know, though.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Well, he wants me to go spend Christmas with his family, and you know?”

 

“I bet he’ll understand why you might not want to. It is your first Christmas back, and I bet you want to spend it with your grandparents.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They played in silence for a few minutes, the only sound coming from the TV and the loud crunches from their mouths as they chewed.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Have you seen MeadowSecret?”

 

Jaejoong gave him a brief look. “No. Should I?”

 

“Well, that depends.”

 

“Still buzzing with the ‘fight’?” He made quotes with his fingers.

 

“Something like that.”

 

Smiling, Jaejoong lowered his console and turned toward him. “What have they been saying?”

 

Their eyes met. Yunho stammered.

 

Jaejoong placed the controller down and looked at Yunho. “Verbatim, if you can.”

 

“Look it up yourself.”

 

He smirked. “Want to know why we fought?”

 

“Why even ask? You know what I want.” He cocked his head.

 

He chuckled softly, running his fingers through his hair. Jaejoong had such healthy hair, dark, strong, and shiny. His hair looked impossibly soft. From personal experience, Yunho knew it was. 

 

Yunho couldn’t help but have his attention be drawn to Jaejoong’s lips and the way he was assaulting them as he tried to buy thinking time.

 

his bottom lip before he it in, he started speaking in a tender tone, “I’ll tell you. So, nothing overly ‘juicy’ happened.”

 

“Juicy?” Yunho chuckled, wrenching his gaze away from Jaejoong’s face completely.

 

“Yeah. What happened was—” he trailed off and frowned into the distance. “Jaehyun is a troll. He runs his mouth too ing much.” He stopped and stared at Yunho and then grinned. “We had a very...stranger, precarious even, relationship. He wanted to be the head dog, and I guess I was that. If, you know, could say that.”

 

“I guess I could,” Yunho muttered, a little shocked. “You two fought over popularity? Really?”

 

“No. And yes. We fought because he talks too much.” He punctuated his statement with a gentle, nonchalant roll of his broad shoulders. It was too fluid. Yunho knew he was not telling all.

 

Yunho’s eyes widened and his lips puckered. “The rumors are true?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“Listen, you’re my friend. I mean, they’re my friends too, but, like, you know, you’re special.”

 

THUD!

 

His heart skipped a beat.

 

Yunho’s eyebrows ran into his hairline.

 

“No!” He flushed and started to stutter as he tried to explain himself. “I mean, you’re my best friend. And, it was not only you he insulted.”

 

“I mean. I am gay, Jaejoong.” Yunho gave him a leveled look. “It wasn’t really an insult that he said what I was.”

 

“No, it was, and you know it. It was never about the fact that you’re gay.” He paused and added, “It was the way he said it. It was vile.”

 

Yunho felt heat spreading through him. It was gentle, but hot.

 

Yunho chewed on his bottom lip, quietly thinking. “That’s…Jaejoong, that’s really big of you.”

 

“It’s not. It’s what every friend would do.”

 

Yunho couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. “You know we already had a run in, right?”

 

“Not until now. So, no.”

 

“Ooh. I thought you put two and two together.”

 

“No. I am dense, Yunho.”

 

He chuckled. “You really didn’t sense the animosity?”

 

“That I did.”

 

Yunho nodded “I’ll never defend Jaehyun, you know that, right? But, the whole school sort of thinks I am gay or sort of assulted you back in middle school.”

 

Jaejoong winced. “My fault. I know.”

 

“That’s not why I brought it up.”

 

“It still doesn’t make what he said right. You know that, right?”

 

Yunho scowled at him. “Regardless of how I feel about you now, I’m still aware of what happened then and its gravity. I no longer hold a grudge or anger towards you.”

 

“You don’t?”

 

Yunho set the console aside and steered his body to face Jaejoong. 

 

“No. But, I do have to ask you something.”

 

Jaejoong nodded limply, the joy of Yunho’s comment etched all over his face.

 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but, Jaejoong, being honest, was him asking if you were gay in front of the whole school what pissed you off?”

 

The pure ecstasy of earlier met a swift death. His eyes lit up with an intense fire. “No. That’s not why. I already told you.”

 

“He insulted me.”

 

“Yeah. And he runs his mouth too much.”

 

“You know it’s okay, right? I have forgiven you for what happened.”

 

“I know. And, five minutes ago, I wouldn’t have believed you, but now I do. Truly. It’s just, while I appreciate that and I want that. I just can never live it down. And it makes me feel like….I guess, I was so deep in the closet that—” He exhaled and roughly ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I made you a stereotype and I also made myself a stereotype. I just feel so…” He shrugged sadly, not finishing his thought.

 

“We were eleven, and—” Yunho paused, his expression turning surprised as portions of what Jaejoong had said sunk in. “Wait. So, have you have figured things out?”

 

He shrugged, casting his eyes down. “Not really. I do not know. I feel like, you know, I also like girls, too. My first crush was a girl, and now, it’s like….” He was rambling.

 

“Do you like someone? Or something” Yunho added, softening his tone. He could barely hear over the sound of his thundering heartbeat.

 

He didn’t want to feel this dizzying rush of...of anger. But he was upset. Ridiculously so. He was doing all he could to remain calm, and sound impartial and supportive. He wanted to be nothing but a supportive friend to Jaejoong. He just hadn’t thought it would be this hard.

 

Jaejoong wanted to forget about the kiss. He wanted to preserve their so-called friendship. He was not ready for a relationship. He was still figuring himself out. He was confused.

 

He needed to calm down.

 

They were friends. Good friends.

 

Jaejoong was still saying nothing, he avoided making eye contact with Yunho who was yearning for any sign that this was not so.

 

Instead, he rubbed his lips together and massaged his chin pensively. His voice was soft, and his words were drawn out when he said, “I have to confess something.”

 

Yunho swallowed, steering himself for whatever was to come out of his friend’s mouth.

 

Jaejoong had a way of dropping bombs on him without a second thought.

 

Yunho cleared his throat and said, “Okay, who did you murder?”

 

Yunho blinked at him before he laughed and the tension that was there before disappeared and there was a complete shift in Jaejoong’s complexion. 

 

“Okay, no.” 

 

He met Yunho’s eyes. Yunho’s heart rate slowed (stupid, he knew), and Jaejoong said, “Don’t get angry.”

 

He scowled at him. “Why would I?”

 

Yunho didn’t know what to expect, but he knew that he was on high alert.

 

That kiss had not been a lie. How could they deny or ignore that fire? That passion. If he knew he couldn’t, Yunho knew Jaejoong couldn’t.

 

He almost felt giddy as he listened for Jaejoong’s next words.

 

“It’s about you mom.”

 

And he turned into ice.

 

“See. you’re already shutting down.”

 

“No. I mean, I’m not. What about her?”

 

“Can we be honest with each other?”

 

“Always.”  

 

“Where’s you mom?”

 

“Jaejoong, my mother is in jail. Yes,” Yunho said and nodded Jaejoong’s expression of pure shock and horror. 

 

He continued in the same deadpan, nonchalant tone of voice. “She was doing drugs. Or as they say, she was a drug addict. She got caught for being in possession of drugs.” He shrugged and gave him a tiny smile. “She will not be out until October of next year. She’s clean now.”

 

“Oh my. Yunho, I...I—”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“No. No, no. It is not fine! But I...I didn’t mean to be such a . I didn’t know, and I just...Wow.”

 

Yunho laughed. 

 

“That’s what I get for being so nosey.”

 

“You’re not, Jaejoong; not really.” He gave a firm smile. “I am not ashamed of my mother. I love her. I am ashamed of what her life became and the choices she made. She never failed me. She failed herself, and prison is the best place for her. She is getting the help she needs, and when she gets out, she will get all the help and support that she will need to be successful.”

 

These were thoughts that Yunho had been having for a while now. He had been working through the process of forgiving his mother. He knew she loved him and wanted what was best for her. She had not been strong enough, but she was finally getting the help she needed and gaining his support and understanding would make sure that it would be more difficult for her to resort to her old ways when she got out.

 

“Yunho, I didn’t know. If I had, I would not have—” He reached out and touched his knee. “Dude, me and my big mouth.” He covered his mouth. “And here I was going on about how that weasel runs his mouth too much.”

 

Yunho grinned at the comment.

 

“It’s okay. No one knows. It was my mom’s choice. She didn’t want her choices to impact my new life here. But, I am fine. You’re a good friend, and I feel like you deserved to know.”

 

He frowned at the ground. “But it makes sense why you didn’t want to—wanted to stay silent about this. And I...God. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Yunho laughed. “Jaejoong, I wanted to tell you. You did not force me.”

 

He let out an awkward laugh. “Okay. I….I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Well, you can tell me what you stopped yourself from saying a moment ago.”

 

Jaejoong pulled his hand back. His face turned beet red. He was caught red handed.

 

Smiling at Yunho, he said ardently, “Nothing.”

 

“That’s a lie. We’re friends, dude. You can tell me anything.”

 

“I know. It’s just not important.”

 

“Let me be the person who makes that decision.”

 

He shook his head. “No. It’s really…”

 

“Okay.” Yunho shrugged. He was trying to reverse psychology Jaejoong by acting like he didn’t care, but he was on the verge of exploding with curiosity. “So...Jaejoong, is your crush a boy? Was our kiss helpful?”

 

He felt the electricity in their gaze.

 

“I…”

 

Yunho shrugged. “It’s okay if you are.”

 

Maybe he was hoping he was.

 

“I…Yunho, it’s really not what you think.”

 

“Tell me what I think?”

 

Jaejoong turned away from him, grabbed his console and said, “Maybe later. Let me figure some things out first.” 

 

Yunho wanted to throw his console at his back. Instead, he pulled back, inhaled and tried to calm down.

 

“But, hey, thanks for trusting me.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“For telling me about your mom.”