Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

They weren’t trying to ignore each other, but they couldn’t hold a conversation, and the avoiding just naturally followed.

That day, when they came back to themselves and pulled away from each other, apologies quickly and smoothly flew from each other's mouth. Though shocked to their core, they agreed it was best if they acted like nothing happened, because, as Jaejoong had stuttered, face beet red, it was just a kiss, and knowing them and their history, it meant nothing. So, honestly, nothing did happen. It was just a kiss. He kissed people all the time. It didn’t mean anything.

Except, it didn’t taste or feel like all the other kisses they once shared before.

It was everything. Something did happen.

They both knew they were lying.

However, it was the best thing to do. They both also knew that. Their relationship was too fragile. 

They quietly decided on a movie and sat next to each other in dreamlike silence, gaze fixed on the screen, but their minds were everywhere but Jaejoong’s bedroom. The moment the end credits rolled, Yunho ran home.

Yunho spent the rest of the day, and days that followed, beating himself up over his terrible decisions. 

Jaejoong, the one person Yunho knew that never stopped texting him like his life depended on it, didn’t even send him a single meme. With each day that passed, it got harder to simply say “hey” when he saw him in the hall.

It was turning out to be that Jaejoong was the bigger person between them, or Jaejoong really didn’t feel the spark between them (or the one-sided heat from Yunho) and gave the kiss no value, because he was the one to break the ice between them again. Yunho was definitely a coward.

His text came in the middle of the night. 

Minah is back.

Yunho typed out a reply, but erased it and swallowed the knot in his throat. He decided to call him.

Jaejoong picked up on the first ring.

“Am I dreaming or is Yunho calling me first?” He laughed.

“I’ve called you before.”

“If it was often it would not be this memorable.”

They fell into their light, easy banter. And for a moment, just a tiny little moment, Yunho thought this would be okay. He could forget that kiss. Their friendship would survive.

“Hey, can I come over?”

“It’s the middle of the night.” 

“We need to talk.”

“Really?”

“Well…Yeah. We didn’t really—”

“Yes, you can come over, but I really think we’re fine. It was just a s...a stupid kiss. Like when we were younger.”

His throat burned, and his heart squeezed painfully.

“I would rather not, you know?” Jaejoong sighed into his receiver. “Can we meet up? I’ll pick you up.”

—----

Jaejoong was smoking. Yunho wanted to stop him, but the simple act was calming Yunho down, too.

They were in the park that was a mile away from Yunho’s home. 

“I just think it’s best if we don’t blow this out of proportion, you know?” Jaejoong was saying, trying to make a case as to why they shouldn’t talk about what happened between them.

Yunho wanted to agree with him, but a part of him knew what happened was not just a kiss. There was something between them, and he did not understand why Jaejoong was trying so hard to prove that it all meant nothing.

“Like, dude, we’ve…” He forked his fingers through his fringes, holding his hair up, blunt between his lips, he looked far into the darkness, looking lost in space as he tried to find his words.

Yunho thought it was amazing how horrible humans were at using language. He felt like they were always stuttering when they were talking, even when they were having unremarkable, light-hearted conversations on topics that needed no deep considerations.

“I’ve done...I feel like...It’s like I keep on doing the same thing over and over again.”

Yunho reached over and grabbed the joint from between his fingers and took a puff. Yunho shook his head at Jaejoong's statement.

“I have, though." Jajeoong sighed loudly into the air, tilting his head back, and he kicked up his legs and began swinging. 

“Stop. It was my fault, too. I mean, most of it was.”

Jaejoong shook his head, but he said nothing. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Yunho felt, no, he knew, Jaejoong was truly speechless. And it stung. It shouldn’t. This was for the best. Jaejoong was looking out for both of them.

Jaejoong was confused. It was a stupid kiss that didn’t need to be blown out of proportion. Yunho didn’t want to complicate his relationship with Jaejoong and he knew he could never date him.

It was just that Jaejoong was no longer eleven, springly, and annoying. He was tall, broad, sauve, and ticked all of Yunho’s boxes for what was attractive and this fact was driving him insane with…a need. A disgusting need.

He was pining and even the notice of those feelings was repulsive. He was repulsive.

Maybe Jaejoong was different. Maybe he really didn't feel anything. And, maybe...no, that was definitely a good thing.

Jaejoong was keeping him grounded. He needed to be logical about this.

It was a mistake. A careless one they would not repeat.

This was for the best.

Yunho hogged the joint. Maybe a high would help.
 

Smoke streamed out of Yunho’s nose and disappeared up into the darkness. He could really see the stars tonight.

“You need to stop smoking,” Yunho remarked, needing to fill the silence with sound.

 Jaejoong laughed. “I know. It’s a stupid habit.”

“You know the gang—”

Jaejoong chortled; the sound was so cute and pure, Yunho found his heart clenching.

“Is that what they call themselves?”

Yunho nodded. “Truthfully.”

They made eye contact and they laughed together, real good and loud.

“They don’t smoke, right?” 

Yunho gave him an inquisitive look. “What?”

“I just needed to know if they got high and came up with that name. And, why does a friendship group need a name? Should we come up with a name for ourselves?”

Yunho laughed again. “All very good observations. Want to?”

“Should we?” Jaejoong asked again, losing momentum on the swing. “What should we call ourselves. How did they come up with their name?”

Yunho shrugged. "I was adopted in the group.”

“What do you guys do?”

Yunho shrugged. “The usual.”

“Like?”

“We…I don’t know!” He laughed again. He was starting to feel light headed from laughing so much. “The usual.”

“Well, we know that’s a lie. They don’t smoke and probably don’t drink.”

Yunho nodded. “They don’t. But they eat a lot of fast food. Fast food is their drug of choice.”

“Should that become our thing, too? I love me some pizza. Veggie pizza.”

“I could go for some pizza right now,” Yunho said.

“Too bad we live at the end of the world and all shops close by ten. Promptly. Everyday.”

They shared a smile of camaraderie.

Knowing what they were feeling, and the vastness of the dark night sky, the stars their only light, they did feel like they were at the edge of the world and were the only two there.

Author’s Note: I have to admit, I think my favorite part about writing and reading romance is the pining.

I love all the ridiculous amount of pining and longing. 

It's such a guilty pleasure! 

Anyone else?

Anywho, hope you're enjoying the story thus far.
Thank you, thank you, AND thank you so much for the comments so far. I've appreciate every single one of them!!!