Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

 

Jaejoong closed the driver’s door of his truck and frowned at Yunho. “What are you doing here?”

 

Yunho pulled away from the side of the truck he was leaning on and took a step toward him. “You’ve been ignoring my texts, phone calls, and I tried to talk to you at school, but you were ignoring me. So, here I am.”

 

Jaejoong glowered at him. “I was just honoring my promise.”

 

“I want to apologize. Properly.”

 

He arched an eyebrow. “For what?”

 

“For being a royal . Listen, I should have been upfront from the get go. I don’t know why I cowered.”

 

“Yeah, Yunho, that would have been great to know. But, it’s whatever now.” He shrugged nonchalantly, but Yunho noticed how he was not walking away from him.

 

“But, in my defense, I never said I was going to go.”

 

“Yay, Yunho! God. Why are you even here?”

 

Yunho’s face dropped. “Sorry. Bad joke. I am here to issue a sincere apology.”

 

“Now that you have?” He shouted and glared at him, his anger evident.

 

Yunho felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m not advocating well for myself right now.”

 

“Cool. Now you want to tell me why you’re being such a freaking jerk?”

 

He frowned, feeling his guards going up. “I am not being a jerk,” he said defensively.

 

Jaejoong widened his eyes and opened his mouth to say something, then he dropped his gaze as if he had changed his mind. Closing his mouth, he swallowed and said in a clear pitch, “Yunho, why are you here?”

 

“Why? Because I….I don’t know, Jaejoong. I want us to go back to how we were. We had a good thing going on, you know? And I ruined it by being stupid.”

 

Jaejoong stared at him silently.

 

“You are a good friend. You try.”

 

Still Jaejoong said nothing.

 

“Yes, we’ve grown into two different people, but I feel like we still click. We just need to iron out our differences.”

 

Jaejoong let him talk without interrupting. He wished he would intervene. He felt as if his patience cup was overflowing and was on the cusps of spilling over.

 

“Yes, I didn’t want to go to your party because I don’t like your friends, but there’s another reason.” 

 

Jaejoong’s eyebrows arched so high up, Yunho worried they would disappear into his hairline. 

 

He really didn’t like this quiet Jaejoong who refused to interrupt him.

 

Stuffing his hands in his pockets and dropping his gaze. Jaejoong’s earnest gaze was making it difficult to be truthful with him. He rather hurt him and pushed him away than tell him what was really making him push him away and be mean to him.

 

The closeness they used to share was gone. 

 

He did not want to fall deeper when he knew Jaejoong could give him nothing.

 

When Yunho’s silence lasted longer than anticipated, Jaejoong finally spoke. “What, Yunho? Tell me. Talk to me.” His tone was warm and inviting; he walked closer to him. Yunho resisted the temptation to step back and regain the distance between them.

 

Jaejoong forgiving him so fast and so easily made it all the more difficult. 

 

He wished he was more angry, was more spiteful or something. He was being too perspicacious. 

 

He didn’t want to let go of the image he fostered for years of Jaejoong as this mean, back-stabber who spread malicious rumors about him without a second thought. But he had always known this side of Jaejoong,  the fun side, the sweet side, the side where he was too giving. And that’s the side that had Jaejoong so blind to his ‘friends’.

 

He still wanted to be upset at him for ruining his image in Green Meadows and for not being able to discern who was a good or bad friend.

 

Jaejoong was not the evil he wanted him to be, but he was also not the kid he grew up with anymore. And it all made him even more angry. He couldn’t find comfort in old friendship, because that was completely gone, or create a new friendship, because they were so different and he didn’t see Jaejoong like that.

 

He didn’t see Jaejoong as only a friend, and he did not know how to deal with any of this new information. 

 

Jaejoong was troubled by his silence.

 

“Yunho, if you don’t want to tell me why you told me off, why are you here?”

 

Finally Yunho said, “Your friends.”

 

“My friends?” He repeated slowly, and scowled. “You’ve already told me that—”

 

“They’re jerks. They’re loud and obnoxious.”

 

“What? Yes. I understand. You already told me all of that. You’re judging them.”

 

“Am I?”

 

Jaejoong scowled. “What does that have to do with me? With us?”

 

“Jaejoong,” Yunho lied, “your association to them is what’s making this hard for me.”

 

“Wha—What?” Jaejoong snapped in exasperation. He took a few steps away from Yunho, cheeks turning cranberry red. “ you. What do you know about my friends? Have you talked to them?”

 

Instead of pulling back, Yunho leaned into the argument, forgetting for a moment that he was here to make amends, not insult Jaejoong more.

 

“I am in the same classes as them. They lack respect! They act like all the jerks you meet in schools around the world who think they’re popular, therefore, everyone around them needs to worship them.” Yunho wanted to say more, but he caught himself. 

 

Yunho knew Jaejoong was already taking everything to heart and saw this as an attack on his person. He would never stop to think that maybe those guys he considered as such amazing friends and he would defend to death, did not see him as such.

 

Yunho swore Jaehyun hated Jaejoong. Yeah, they were friends, but it was probably because he knew Jaejoong was the head dog; the moment he crossed Jaejoong, he knew he would be kicked out of the pack and would lose his standing in the popular crowd. He couldn’t have that. That was the only reason he was still his friend.

 

Jaejoong did not see that. And would probably not believe Yunho if he told him the truth. And that bothered Yunho to no end.

 

“What?”

 

Yunho allowed himself to say, “Jaejoong, they’re horrible, mean people.”

 

“You’re projecting. You know nothing about those guys.”

 

“But, I do. I have observed their behaviors.”

 

“Ooh, my gosh!” Jaejoong lamented. “Do you hear yourself, Yunho? Just say you think I am a horrible person because you’ve been observing my friends and me as if we’re lab rats. Ooh, and the icing here is, instead of apologizing, you’re confirming your biases and you’re calling my friends and me bullies.”

 

“I never said—”

 

“If they’re bullies, so am I by association, right?  And a rude, tactless jerk, too?”

 

“Jaejoong!”

 

They stared at each other in tense silence.

 

“Ooh god,” Jaejoong muttered in pure disbelief; laughing humorlessly, he started pacing. “You really think….” His words trailed off.

 

Sighing, Yunho shrugged. He refused to lie to Jaejoong about his associates. “Come on now. Jaejoong, this is all about them. Not you."

 

"What?"

 

"You know your friends. I am not sorry.”

 

“Did you ever want to become my friend again?” His voice caught and broke. Jaejoong’s vulnerable tone punched Yunho in the gut. 

 

“No, that’s not what I’m—” Yunho finished his sentence with a frustrated groan.

 

“Then what are you saying?”

 

“What I'm saying is, I feel like whenever I am around your friends. I hate that I feel like you’re using me.”

 

“What? Using you? The hell? Why is it that the longer we talk the more accusations you’re levying up against me? Is that what you think about me? Yunho, do you know how much I wanted to correct things between us? While it was so easy for you to make new friends when you got here, I never for one moment, not in these five years, considered anyone else but you as my closest friend. And what I did ate me up every day those past years. Every single day. Not one passed by where I didn’t think about you and thought about how I would make things different if we were to ever meet again. And I got my chance and I have been trying, so hard! And now I am using you?”

 

Yunho turned into stone at the gravity of Jaejoong’s declaration.

 

Jaejoong continued at a frenzied rate. “I have never portrayed myself as anyone but me. I’ve always made it clear that you were and is the only one.”

 

Yunho gasped. 

 

“My friends are people that only know a small side of me, just like I know of them, and you know of them. We started talking for less than a month and I’ve already told you about me questioning my uality. I would never, not in a million years share that with them. Not a single one of them!” he threw his hands up in disappointment. “I have always trusted you, Yunho. Stupid of me, I now realize that. And it makes me feel like to know that you think this way of me. I would never, ever bully someone.”

 

His heart squeezed painfully. 

 

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

 

Yunho started to mutter, “Jaejoong, I am sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But—”

 

“But what! You think I am a rude prick that bullies my classmates and is disrespectful to my teachers? Have you always thought of me like that? Are you telling me you do not remember who I am!”

 

“Stop shouting at me and listen!”

 

“To what? You talking about me? In front of me!”

 

Yunho felt as if he had put his foot in his mouth and he did not know how to make it better. Jaejoong was deeply hurt and upset.

 

“No. I never meant for you to perceive it like that.” He quickly quieted Jaejoong down. “Don’t interrupt. Let me talk. Let me explain myself.”

 

“I don’t think I even want to listen to you right now,”  he screamed at him. “ What the , dude?”

 

“I am sorry! Let me properly apologize.”

 

“Is that what you said you were here for? But it feels like you came here to instigate a fight. Now you’ve got one.”

 

“I know! I am sorry, okay! It just feels like I don’t know the new person you’ve become. I cannot help but think that your friends are the kind of people who would post that MeadowSecret post about me.”

 

His statement stunned Jaejoong into silence. 

 

“Is that why? Wait, you think....I, no. They would never. They don’t think that way about you. They know we’re friends now.” He saw all the fight leaving Jaejoong and the concern that replaced it. Jaejoong cared. A lot. And that had always been one of his biggest faults.

 

Crushing his face in his hand, his shoulders fell and raised as he took in deep, measured breaths. “I am so sorry, Yunho. I regret the day I said such things.”

 

Yunho felt weak. He didn’t want to fight anymore. In fact, he didn’t want to have this discussion anymore. “That’s it, though, Jaejoong. I can forgive you, which I have, but I can’t forget and I can’t seem to let go of my…anger.” He couldn’t stop talking. Everything was spilling out. “I am angry and I am angry at being angry. It all just feels so…stupid, in a way.”

 

Jaejoong inhaled and dropped his gaze, his lashes fanning his dark cheeks. “Right. I am sorry.”

 

“I am sorry, too, you know? And I do want to be your friend. I think we are friends. Good friends.”

 

Jaejoong looked at him, dropping his arms to his side. He cocked his head.“Then be my friend. We can work on all the other stuff. And I promised I have change for the better. I know better now. Promised.”

 

Yunho smiled, and he didn’t even know how his face lit up and how sincere the small little action was.

 

He didn't want to make Jaejoong feel as if he had to beg for his forgiveness or acceptance. Yunho knew the kind of person Jaejoong was, even if for years he had tried to think the opposite of him. He was the one that was being heartless right now. He was hurting Jaejoong, and that was clear, and it was giving him no pleasure. He rather like it when they were friends and were 'good'.

 

“I know you have, and my anger: I don’t even know if I am angry at you or just at the world.”

 

“Why would you be angry at the world?”

 

“It all feels…You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Tell me. I want to know. Promised.”

 

Yunho looked around at where they were and thought about how much he wanted to share with Jaejoong, and if it was better to just let it all out and start from scratch, or hold back and just try his best. And then he made up his mind.

 

“I know you said you told me about you questioning because you trust me, but…I can’t stop thinking about…” Yunho grabbed his bearings and closed the distance between them so that he could whisper and not have to worry about a stranger happening upon them and hearing their private conversation. “Why did you ask me to kiss you? I know you said you have nothing going on between you and Aki, but the way she is around you—I feel as if I’m helping you string her along. You’re hurting her.”

 

“I….It was a joke! I would have…Yunho, dude! Seriously, there’s nothing going on between Aki and me. I am not that kind of person. And I’ve told her as much. Promised.” He looked like he wanted to grab Yunho’s hands and squeeze them. 

 

He didn’t know if he could survive Jaejoong touching him. Yunho stuffed his hands inside his jeans pockets.

 

 “She doesn’t treat you like that.”

 

Jaejoong ran his hands down his face. Speaking through his fingers he said in a tired voice, “I know. But we were never a thing. And I have told her that I’m not interested.”

 

“Exactly like that?”

 

“Yes! Friday night.” From his tone, Yunho knew he was not lying.

 

He felt a great deal of weight lifted off his shoulders.

 

Looking in his eyes, Yunho said, “Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

They stared at each in this weird relieved silence before Yunho cleared his throat and said, “I would never, ever think that you're a bully. I've never thought that. And I am really sorry for my poor word choices and for making you think I thought so lowly of you. Also, I should have been up front from the get go about everything."

 

"Wow."

 

They looked away from each other for a few moments and smiled.

 

"Now that feels like an apology."

 

They looked back in each other's eyes and started laughing.

 

Yunho cleared his throat and said, "I brought a gift."

 

"A gift?"

 

"A slice of pie.”

 

“Thanks?” Jaejoong said slowly, trying to stop his lips from quivering from his smile.

 

“It’s pumpkin pie.”

 

“My favorite.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Let me go get it.”

 

Jaejoong nodded and watched Yunho walk to his grandparents’ truck, he opened the passenger side and grabbed a reusable shopping bag and walked back to where Jaejoong was after he closed the door. 

 

Yunho could tell how pleased Jaejoong was by the gesture.

 

“Would you like to come in? Want something to drink?”

 

Yunho gave Jaejoong’s house a glance. 

 

It’s been a while since he had been in Jaejoong’s house. The last time was an absolute nightmare, and he guessed that's part of the reason why he had been avoiding coming over.

 

Jaejoong's house was nothing like his grandparents, it was more sterile and sophisticated. It was Jaejoong’s mother’s pet project. His parents were successful, wealthy real estate entrepreneurs. They were one of the wealthiest families in Green Meadow and they made sure everyone knew from the quality of their clothes to the cars they drive, and of course their home.

 

Looking at the pie, Yunho said, “There's only one slice in there.”

 

“That’s fine. I didn’t say I would share.” 

 

They shared a laugh.

 

“I’ll serve you hot cocoa.”

 

“You’re going to make it?”

 

“Yeah, who else? I am the only one home. You have a problem with that?" he teased, checking the pie in the bag.

 

“No. That’s fine. I like hot cocoa.”

 

He looked up from the bag and said before he his heel and headed for his house, “I know.”